Non-Sexual TOUCH

Discussion in 'Sex And Bedroom' started by TequilaMan, Apr 28, 2011.

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  1. TequilaMan Well-Known Member

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    Here's a good article about, TOUCH.
    Yeh, I know this has been talked about, a lot.
    I would like to reiterate the concepts in this article.
    I BOLD-Faced items that are interesting to me.
    You can read it at: http://us.mc812.mail.yahoo.com/mc/w...5ab7fa6cc5d1f90f76a51f4e0f495&.jsrand=8237750

    Here it is:



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    May 2011

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    Pickup Podcast Newsletter

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    Hey guys,
    I wanted to share a great article with you. It’s called the “10 Psychological Effects of Non-Sexual Touch”, and you can get a link to the article here:
    Article on 10 Psychological Effects of Non-Sexual Touch

    Now, some of you might be thinking, “I just want to get the girl why do I want to learn about NON-SEXUAL touch?”. Well, besides the fact that it can help you earn more money, build better social networks, get people to do what you want (see the article for more details), it can also help you in your relationships with women. You see, touch has been proven to create the image of high social status and has also been proven to help you get more dates (also in the article).

    Even friendly, non-sexual touch can be a great avenue for creating sexual chemistry. That is, a light brush on the arm can really help you get the girl. To understand why, let’s step back for a second and look at sexual chemistry.

    Chemistry is essential to progress any male to female interaction forward to a successful conclusion. Attraction is a great first step, but if you aren’t eventually adding sexual chemistry to the equation, then you’re going to end up in the dreaded “friend zone” (i.e. without chemistry, you’re not going to get the girl). To see why this happens, let’s look at a typical woman’s thought process:
    When she first meets a guy, she determines whether or not she is attracted to him. If she isn’t attracted, she’ll put him in the friend zone at best, and just ignore him at worst.

    Now, let’s say she is attracted to him. That’s a great beginning, but soon she’s going to start asking herself if the sexual chemistry is there. If it is, then that is a green light to move forward to kissing, sex and the like. If there isn’t chemistry, then no matter how attractive the man is, it won’t be long before he is relegated to the friend zone.

    Why does this occur? Well, generally speaking, for a woman to feel sexual chemistry and the desire to sleep with a man, three criteria must be met.

    First, there must be trust. To a certain degree, she must feel comfortable and safe with the man.
    Second, she must be physically aroused by him. We believe the scientific term for this is horniness J. Finally, she must feel desired. She must feel like the man finds her sexually attractive and has the confidence to act on his feelings.

    So even if a man has done a good job of creating attraction, if he wants to get the girl he still has to make her feel safe, start to get her blood boiling with sexual desire, and also show her that he is interested in her in a sexual way. If any of these three criteria are lacking, it will be very difficult to progress to the next stage and get the girl.

    Now, as you’ve already learned if you’ve taken a weeklong bootcamp, are a member of the Academy, or took our free introductory seminar at www.afterhello.com, touch is a great avenue to create sexual chemistry.

    Indeed, touch creates and communicates all three keys of sexual chemistry. Touch creates trust. It arouses her, and it shows her that you desire her and you’re not afraid to act on that desire.

    Touch creates a bond of trust in two ways.
    First, our brains are hardwired to respond positively to touch and associate it with comfort and safety. Decades of research have shown that human babies and many animal babies need touch not only to survive, but to thrive. Touch can have the psychological effects of helping people to feel happy, accepted, calm or reassured. And this phenomenon continues into adulthood, as it has been shown that societies that don’t touch much are some of the most violent. Studies have shown that touching can even lower blood pressure and cortisol, the stress hormone.

    Touching also releases a calm-inducing hormone/neurotransmitter called oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle” hormone. One of the main functions of oxytocin is that it brings people closer together. When this hormone’s flowing, it puts us in a peaceful, happy state of mind; and helps us feel emotionally connected to whomever’s the source of that touch.

    Second, touch makes her aroused. Oxytocin also plays a strong part here, as it produces sexual arousal and stronger orgasms in women. And although men benefit from oxytocin, the response is actually much more powerful for women. Oxytocin needs estrogen to work properly, and since women have much more estrogen then men, the effect is significantly greater. So have you ever noticed how you feel when a woman you like touches you?
    Well, in women, this feeling is up to 10 times stronger, so don’t underestimate the power of oxytocin in creating sexual arousal.
    (TMs' Note: I haven't read anything that a woman oxytocin is 10 times stronger than men..it could be correct, though.)

    Finally, touch is a great way to show her that you desire her. The act of touching her serves as a clear psychological clue that you’re attracted to her. Touching her also lets you know that you are man enough to act on these feelings. And this is a quality that women find extremely attractive.
    In fact, the attached article references a great study that proves the efficacy of touch.
    In 2007, Dr. Nicolas Gueguen wanted to know how guys could use touch to get the girl, so he conducted a study where he had one of his male assistants approach 120 women in a night club and ask them to dance. Remarkably, of the 60 women he touched lightly on the arm, 65 per cent agreed to a dance, compared with just 43 per cent of the 60 women who he asked without making any physical contact. This means that a light single touch increased the chances of getting a dance by 50%!
    A second study by Dr. Gueguen involved three male research assistants approaching 240 women in the street and asking them for their phone numbers. Among those 120 women who the researchers touched lightly on the arm, 19 per cent agreed to share their number, compared with 10 per cent of the women with whom no physical contact was made. In this case, a single light, unobtrusive touch doubled the chance of getting a number!

    So if you’ve learned anything from this article, if you want to get the girl, you need to touch her more. However, as most of you that have taken a bootcamp or are members of the Academy know, there is an art to touching – a fine line between creepy and appropriate.
    Which brings us nicely to my last point, and boring legal disclaimer: Don’t be a douchbag, be appropriate with your touches. And if someone tells you they don’t like to be touched, for goodness sakes, leave them alone!

    Cheers,
    AJ
  2. DeJe New Member

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    TM: Back to my "Young Tease." The other night she dropped by to talk and her head hurt, so I massaged her shoulders and then lightly massaged the side of her head (temple) area. I think this is appropriate for the moment; however, does this still release the oxytocin with a bonding effect to me? So, would you think by doing this massage that she thinks I'm Manning up to show my attraction that I have for her or do think that she may think this was a good jesture on my part to make her feel better?
  3. TequilaMan Well-Known Member

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    "..does this still release the oxytocin with a bonding effect to me"?

    Both of you will feel this bonding effect when TOUCHED appropriately and with empathy.


    " would you think by doing this massage that she thinks I'm Manning up to show my attraction that I have for her or do think that she may think this was a good jesture on my part to make her feel better"?

    Well, you seem to be coming-off as her daddy..she may have gotten the same behavior from her father or it was NEVER provided by her father...my guess it was never provided.

    Women LOVE to be TOUCHED, appropriately. My guess is, her BF doesn't TOUCH her at all or very little.

    You are showing "nurturing" behavior, which is GOOD.
    I would suggest that you learn to FOCUS your attention/TOUCH on her for her benefit. (If done correctly, both of you will enjoy it.) :thumbup:

    I'm glad you are reading about, TOUCHING. It is poorly encouraged in our society and badly needed.
    TOUCHING can be sexual or non-sexual..it's up to you. Oxytocin will be released in both people.

    TM
  4. DeJe New Member

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    Thanks TM, you are right on both. Her father definitely does not or did not show affection to her, and her BF doesn't really touch her that much either. They have not sleep together (that's what she told me).


    Yes, I know it is released in me... lol...
    Also, I don't want to come across to her like a Daddy figure - how do I break this when touching her? Talking about how soft or tense she is?
  5. TequilaMan Well-Known Member

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    "Also, I don't want to come across to her like a Daddy figure - how do I break this when touching her? Talking about how soft or tense she is"?

    Say, I am being with women about the same or older than her and I DON'T feel-like or behave like their daddy...

    I come-off as a sensuous man who wants to PLEASURE women.
    You may want to focus solely in her PLEASURE and NOT get into other matters of her personal life.
    1. DON'T try to fix her.
    2. ASK permission to TOUCH her in sensuous areas.
    3. DON'T act like you are her daddy.

    It's a fine art of TOUCHING a woman. Very few men know how to do it sensuously and focus his attention on her, exclusively.
    Sure, you can ask her how it feels..get feedback.

    Jaiya Ma has some very good videos, some are FREE on the internet, about massage and sexuality. See, YouTube, also.

    I would learn a womans' erogonous zones. There are more than 26 areas on a woman that are erotic to TOUCH, kissing and biting.
    (They are listed in my post, Types Of Orgasms a Woman Can Have)

    TM