Shark, you've been gone so long many people here may not know much about your history with the VIP Lounge. Guys, Shark has been posting here for years and years, but recently has been missing in action. Shark, this is very uncharacteristic of you, isn't it... and you're describing a lot of symptoms but it's difficult to pinpoint sources of your breakdowns. I'm not so sure that it's this girl that is causing your emotional distress, but rather deeper fundamental issues that you're expressing using this girl as a focus point. ie like doing badly at work and a break-up, might cause someone to obsess over a new girl, even though the new girl isn't really the issue. Five months ago? You sound really homesick. Maybe the "big move" and losing all your old anchors and comforts of hometown is fucking you up, but only catching up with you now. Most of your post is about this girl, but let's say you hadn't met her in the capital. Do you have UNDERLYING ISSUES going on?? Are there OTHER things that need to be changed? Are there other things about your lifestyle or situation that you are deeply unhappy about? Shark, is this all really about your new job and work?... it's too much and too stressful... causing you to flip out and project manic mania onto a girl... ? Shark, this sounds a lot like manic depression... bi-polar. Alternating between depression sometimes and super racing thoughts at other times. It's often also accompanied by deeply obsessing over a girl, who fuels the highs and lows. But obviously I can't diagnose you... but if you talk to a professional they could maybe level you out through diet and other treatments. Sounds a lot like manic-depressiveness... No, you won't. That's crazy, dude! You've got to take charge for what's healthy physically and mentally for you man. Dude, you probably need quit your job, go to your home town, and chill out for 3 months. And maybe just see a doctor if you have a hormonal imbalance issue, like your prone to depression, or mania, or both... just see a doc to make sure other shit isn't going on, and if it is then you'll know why you're feeling this way. So why don't you go home where your support network is, where you have comfort and familiarity and you can rest your brain and body. Taking 12 hour work days now to try to escape (it sounds like) will wreck you. Yes, but you DO have control over what you're going to do next with it.
Hey Shark! Whats up mate? Usually I'd say that I'm happy to hear you're alright, but this is not the case =). Hmmm, I wrote this yesterday, but didnt post until now, so Korea might have said something similar. Sorry for repetition. Here is my come back on your situation. I will agree with Jesse on some fundamental points here which are, your work, you being away from home, about seriousness of your head state and about girl. In this order because I think that the first point are more important than latter one's. (As Jesse said the girl might be a byproduct of other situations). Regarding work, I will build on personal experience, as I had a similar situation a month ago Holland. I couldn't finish my thesis, got in a big trouble because of it and failed a lot of exams and was rejected from a lot of job interviews, because I couldn't have my head straight. What did I do about it? I was stubborn, I took time to relax, because usually the time is the issue in this sort of things. You can't fix anything in a day! Just step back and clear your mind. Give it time and the conflict will resolve itself (the conflict is in your subconscious, don't try to rationalize it). Just stay calm and focused. Go to the gem. Force yourself to the gem and start exercising. Do it several times during a week or two. If you're physically tired I promise you, you wont be able to think about anything. As for family (and also friends), I'm very independent person so my parents have to call me before I call them, but I can see the value it has for other people. Return to your roots, to your conform zone, even for a weekend, that will help (I know you can do it). If you can't get it straight yourself, its always better to see a professional. Don't worry about money spent, it will pay back latter and you will be happy that you did. Lastly, as for this girl, try to separate from her, specially to sleep in different beds, if you cant actually "sleep" with her. Either this or put your thoughts together and really to try to game her, like any other girl you just want to sleep with and you don't care about. Step away from the safe zone, where you feel comfort (and the discomfort). Ruin it for yourself, if you must. I know from personal experience (and you probably know as well) that you will be able to handle the broken relationships, specially if you know that you cant do anything about it. Its the relationship that you are somewhere in the middle that will bring you most trouble. Decide if you want to go all in, or all out. Don't fall for AFC pitfall of waiting that the girl will do something and take maters in your own hands! If you continue to be a wuss, I promise you Shark, I will take the next plane home, gonna go to your house and kick your butt! Remember, I know where you live and who your friends are. I will deliver a ass kicking... Well, that's all from me, Yours one and only, Tiger.
Shark; I can relate to you, concerning, one-itis, as some people define it. To me, it is defined as Infatuation. I feel like I am a survivor of Infatuation. I went through it for 1 year. YES, it can be defined as being, CRAZY...you think of her way too much..you think of scenarios of how it MIGHT work and the two of you would live happily ever after, etc. :thumbdown: From my experiences, there was a VOID of something she was NOT providing for me. Another definition of Infatuation is a relationship that is FUCKED-UP. There are some basic things that are missing to fulfill the relationship. My belief is if the two of you become more intimate, YOU will realize, "This is NOT what I want from a woman!..This is FUCKED-UP"! One person on this Forum mentioned to NOT have anything to do with her for at least 2 weeks. Then, at least 2 weeks, there after. (This will HELP you forget about her and focus on other things.) TM Note 1: I was able to transcend (get over-it, move beyond it) my Infatuation with this woman. I still see her. I even told her about it!:lol: Yeah, it's FUCKED-UP...but, there is this BOND that we have. I was able to step-back and realize that I was CRAZY! :woot: Note 2: You are experiencing a lot of STRESS, due to, your new experiences. I would talk to your primary care doctor about it. If this is your first experience with bi-polar behavior, it can be VERY alarming. Mental illness, of any kind, is NOT talked about much and NOT accepted very well by our society. It's important that YOU take good care of yourself.
I feel for you shark. Not much I can ad that hasn't been said already but I will emphasize cutting her out of your life. Getting over her will take time. It took me about 2 years to get over my ex but I will never be hurt by oneitis/breakups again. As much as it hurt, the experience forged my self-reliance like a japanese swordsmith forges blades. I am tempered by oneitis and cannot be hurt like that again. It's a learning tool and in a while you will laugh at yourself and wonder what her name was. She is the one missing out. You have options.
Shark I was suffering from depression last year and had similiar symptoms you had. I went to see a doctor who prescribed some serotonin based treatment which went some way to helping me. After seeing a therapist I pinpointed the core issues that was causing my depression. I have been using the Sedona Method to help overcome alot issues I faced which has gone alongway to helping me. I would recommend professional help asap. Peace
