Picking up girls in bars with my woman

Discussion in 'Field Reports' started by Bounce, Jan 26, 2012.

  1. Bounce New Member

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  2. Angelic

    Jesse Charger Administrator

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    That's a tough one, because as soon as your attention leaves her and goes to another woman, she'll feel that sudden vacuum of social value sucked from her space.

    One thing you can do is point out to her that she might feel this, that it will happen, and that she shouldn't derive her sense of value from outside stimulus but instead have core confidence - meaning she feels valued no matter what else is going on.

    Of course, even she intellectually understands that and you explain it to her, she may still FEEL a value loss and be uncomfortable with it.

    One way to handle it is introduce your girl to some bored guys who would LOVE to talking to her in order to keep her busy and feel that validation, while you go off and talk to girls on your own. Once you're "in" with a girl or a set of girls, then you grab your woman by the hand and introduce her to the set of girls you're interested in.

    In other words, make sure that your woman is always in a set, even if it's a set of dudes to keep her busy. Continually make sure she feels validated, while also explaining to her that she could feel ups and downs in social value at times (fluctuations) but she should resist feeling that and draw her state and confidence from within - to have core confidence.

    Don't try to train her to open girls for you. Girls are not leaders like that, generally. YOU have to do the opening. You can immediately introduce her to the set, but you've got to open it and be the one taking charge.

    Having your woman right there can put pressure on you - makes you feel like you have to impress everyone, or get good reactions, or "always look good". That's going to make you pretty conservative in your game - almost as if you had television cameras on you and the cheers or jeers of a television watching audience. Makes you outcome dependent, always striving for an outcome. That's pretty bad for your game, so you need to be able to detach from impressing the girls you approach and detach from impressing your woman.
  3. Roadrunner New Member

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