Question about my current ltr

Hey guys,

Need some input about a situation i am going through. Been on a monogamus LTR for about 7 months now(was in an open relationship with this same girl before and before the open relationship we were together for 5 years) my chick is really hot, so hot that she has about 3 orbiters right now. Before, during and after the open relationship we have always been very open with each other about our relationship and anything going on.

There is this one guy(new guy from about 2 months ago) who is constantly offering her money, trips, jewelry and such(regular orbiter behavior) I didn’t think any of it until the other night, we were chilling with a female friend of ours and my girl's phone vibrated due to a new text coming through. Just to play around I snatched the phone to see who it was and she literally JUMPED ON ME to prevent me from reading the text. I asked her whats up and she said that “for that day only” she had been flirting back and forth with the orbiter just to see what she could get.

Now I have to explain that up until this point it is understood between me and her that there is to be no flirting between her and the orbiters, if they want to orbit let them orbit but not because of anything she does to make them chase her(i.e show romantic interest).

ONCE I saw the text she is telling me that she was “planning to tell me about the flirting with him the next day” and that she is sorry I had to see it beforehand. I was like fine and let it slide althou a little worry came on. Fast forward 3 days and she telling me the dude is offering her a trip to atlantic city, and that he would like to take her out at night more often(they have only been seing each other during the day because the guy is her driving instructor to get a driving license), he owns the company. She asked me if it would be ok for her to go out at night with the dude.

This is when I started worrying a bit, I haven’t gamed in about 7 months so I am rusty about things. Should I look into it more than what it is? I am feeling jealous of the fact that I cannot give her the things this guy is offering, because I am jealous I realized I need to keep my nice guy/AFC behavior in check.

She has told me that she feels no attraction for the guy but what does attract her are the things that he is offering.(i.e power and money)

-Should I keep a couple of girls around just to keep myself sharp?
-Am I worrying for nothing here? She has been very open about anything that goes on until this incident.
-If I were in my player days I wouldn’t care as I would have about 3 chicks on rotation but being that she is my only one right now(as we agreed we would be) I want to make sure I am not reverting back to my AFC behavior from pre player days.

Thanks for the input…

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Had a convo with her last night. I asked her if she wanted to just be free. She said that she wants to be with me and that nothing will happen with this guy. I do not want to be in an open relationship with her again. It was too messy when we were in one before so if it comes to that point I am definitely going to break it off with her. I have to treat this as delicately as possible as no matter what the outcome of the relationship is I am going to have to deal with this woman for the rest of my life.

I did point out to her that if she was to go to this atlantic city trip there is no way she is not getting fucked. She again insists that she is just using the dude for a free meal, and that nothing sexual has ever happened between them. She again said that she does not want to break it off.

Agreed. I love her enough to give her this one chance to kill things with this guy(which she did last night in front of me) I am just trying to keep my family together, but I will not do it at the expense of my self respect and happiness. I definitely agree there was some attraction on her part because when she spoke to him on the phone she had thi face like she was breaking up with him, I had to hold myself back from laughing I swear.

She is well aware I would have no problem having 3 chicks on my dick if it didn’t work out between us. As a matter of fact I still get texts now from chicks I was blessing 7 months ago wanting to hang out. She checks my phone and gets playful mad whenever those texts come through. I am down because of what it could mean to not see my kids every day, which would happen if we were to break up, I would move out of the house and move out into a room or something. Women are replaceable like underwear, but kids are irreplaceable and only seeing them “on the weekends” would kill me.

I completely agree, more than once did I do the dirty with married and engaged women and that’s exactly how I would feel about the chump left at home while she is out “having a drink with her girls”.

Thank you so much for taking the time and input some of your wisdom, my experience tells me that it was not the guy that was the problem but the fact that she has allowed it to happen. THIS means that it will happen again, at that point I am not going to give her a freebie but will encourage her to fuck the dude as it will be clear she no longer feels the same about the exclusive relationship. Whatever happens, my 3+ years been a player and building a strong identity will come handy. After all I don’t need to be with her to be the best father to my little girls, and they are after all, the most important thing to me : )

Going out with ex's doesn't work that way. Seeing ex's doesn't work that way. Having sex with ex's doesn't work that way. It's not a "one last time" kind of thing

She's not going out to have a bad time. Meeting up at least one of the people want to fuck or prolong things.

Having sex causes good chemicals to flow through out the body. Not having sex and not seeing the girl/guy causes withdrawal.

Taking more drugs now one last time isn't going to have her quit permanately later. They'll want more later. Rebounds are classic scenario just need a quick fix

Something to keep in mind when deciding exclusive vs free with her

Duly noted. The way i see it this one girl deserves one more chance. but whether i end up with her or not, i win.

I doubt it from the way I'm reading. She's got the one up on you.

If you want her to clear it up the surest way is to dump her. Just that you don't feel it anymore - not that you need a status check on your 'relationship'

She'll start bending over backward and foreward for you.

Currently she's playing both advantages. She's free to date other guys and you're exclusive to her during that time. If you weren't exclusive as you say you'd post fuck reports instead of telling us your capabilities.

If worse comes to worse she'll pick the other guy. At least now you found out in 5 minutes what would have taken 5 weeks

-Whats with the quotation mark on the word ‘relationship’
-We have been exclusive for 7 months.

The worse would not be for her to pick the other guy. The worse would be for me to have to move out and not be around my kids as a result of breaking up.

Agreed. Will keep the other options in mind. Thank you very much for your input Jesse.

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LOL you crack me up dude. i was actually a religious man before i started gaming and it was hell(pun intended) as far as the situation, i spoke to one of my mentors in pick up and what he suggested went along the lines of your first post, to take it the other way and show her that it does not bother me for her to have an orbiter, my mentor added that the behavior i was starting to exhibit was taking me out of the alpha frame(not giving a fuck) and into the beta frame(being jealous) her orbiter has. My mentor also said to reframe the situation where it is me and her against him. This will lower his value in her eyes to the point where there is no way she will sleep with him(due to the mental social hierarquis that women have)

i took on his advise and the result was insane. i spoke to her and reframed the whole situation(me and her against him or as it would be said here..push), and she poured her heart out and said that she has never had the intention of fucking him, that she is just getting free stuff from an old guy and that my behavior was starting to remind her of one of her crazy jealous ex boyfriends. She explained how she has done this in the past with guys who buy her things and she never does anything in return(hot chick mentality). It was fascinating listening to the psychology of a hot chick, she said that if she was to take a trip with him(atl city, Miami etc) definitely she would need to do something with him, but that if she keeps it local she has a lot more control of the situation and pretty much everything he does can be controlled, because at any moment she can excuse herself and leave. My mentor told me to remember that women listen to their emotions and not to material things when it comes to sex. To focus on giving her great sex and great emotions and then let her be, and that this will prove the most effective way of retaining her.

In the end all is back on track, I was advised to get a couple of orbiters myself to
1-get rid of any needy vibe that might have resulted from this incident. (looking forward to this one)
2-it will get me back to the right mindset when it comes to dealing with chicks.
3-it will show her that I am the prize and the alpha male in this whole situation

Again thank you for your input Jessie, what you said together with what my mentor said hit the nail right on the spot.

Thank you so much AKM. To answer your questions, we have 3 kids(all girls) one from a previous relationship and 2 that are ours. We all live together. It is true that decisions need to be handled more delicately due to the fact that there are children involved. Her and I have always agreed that no matter what happens with us as a couple, our kids would be the number 1 priority(as it is not their fault if we cant keep our shit together) there is no drinking or drug doing in my house, nor there ever has been, this goes along with the kids being a priority. If a bitch is going to get fucked that is not my wife, she gets the bathroom stall of a bar or her house, not mine. If me and wifey were to break up and live in different homes, that would definitely have an impact on the kids life but because of our focus on them, that negative impact would diminish and be more manageable over time. The best thing that has worked for me is see myself as a father first, all other roles in my life(husband, player, whatever) come second. This way of prioritizing things has proven most effective in keeping me happy.

Again thank you for your input, I know of few amount of fathers with young sons who are in the game so it is very refreshing to hear I am not the only one : )

I have been thinking of what you are going through, Lithius.
It's good that you are getting good feedback from several people you trust.

TM