Hey Jesse, i'm still at the standing tall exercises but that's not gonna keep me waiting to go for an opportunity if one comes by.. I was walking at the beach front today listening to my ipod when i spotted a girl sitting alone at a bench probably 30 feet away with a map in her hand, clearly she wasn't from around.. so without allowing myself to think or analyze I calmly walked up to her with a smile and said what anyone would typically say 'hi... where are you from?', and she hit back so quick 'I'm not interested', Me 'oh, whatever' and I continued walking.. she was American and I was a victim of her bitch shield But that's my problem right there.. I got so anxious and stunned by her quick blunt response and my mind went blank. Me walking away was reactionary... regardless if it was the best thing to do or not, I would have liked to be relaxed and get back with something smart before moving on. My reaction made me look like another guy trying to hit on her.. So.. how do you think this would have gone better? Is there a way not to get into that blank state once I hear a 'no'? cheers
Ok Rami, This is my my take on it... You're right that's what anyone would say... A little to in the "friends zone" i think.. Maybe you could have gone up to her and said for example... "Omg you're ass is getting sunburned...I get help out with that" It stands out, is funny, and a bit tongue and cheek sexual." Has nothing to do with her being American homey... And this is the mindset of all arab dudes that don't get their way ...they blame it on American lol. With a name like Rami I take your Middle Eastern (maybe Egyptian?). I oh yeah I can say this because i'm from Middle Eastern Descent. Don't see at as being a victim. See it as a test. You should've stuck around being persistent and worked on your game. What's the worse that can happen? But instead she validated her bitch shield by you walking away! You could've totally surprised her by being unphased and being persistent. It wasn't the best thing... You need to train yourself not to have those negative reactions... by training yourself to have "positive" reactions. And that takes practice. Expect to have some future blow outs as part of the process. It's all part of the learning experience. My advice might totally suck. I'm not an expert myself. It's just my opinion. Hopefully Jesse and others can give you their perspective. Mike
Its fantastic that you are going out there and chatting to girls. I agree with Mike here dont take it personal its nothing to do with her being american. I have successfully opened just about every type of girl from every nation and they have been pretty warm and receptive (i am of asian origin). I would be interested to hear what the result is of opening ten girls. If you get rude responses from ten girls then its possible that you might need to correct somthing in your body language or the way you speak whether its the smile, the voice tonality etc If a girl says i am not interested i would immediately "rif" of whatever she says and carry on talking probably turn it into something funny. Remember the association exercise that Jesse teaches ?
Thanks guys.. nice idea with the sunburn Mike, i need to get this stuff coming out spontaneously.. dude i wasn't referring to anything when i mentioned American, just that she happened to be so .. visiting us in Lebanon.. yeah tht's where i'm from Looking to get and maintain that cool attitude with practice...
Why bother going up to an American chick when you're in Lebanon dude LOoooooooooooooooollllllll!!! Pics of Hot Lebanese Chicks Link 1 Link 2
Rami; I just learned about "riffing". It means that you take-off from a word or idea from what you have previously have said. You become a motor-mouth and over-whelm her with blabber-mouth talk that ends-up being FUNNY. I keep-on hearing from men who are from a different country, other than America, that, American women are NOT friendly. Then I heard a story from someone on this site, (USA, born), that women in the DominicanRepublic are more friendlier than American women. I don't know who to believe. All I know is, ALL women are attracted to me. If I get a negative response, they are in a BAD mood or I said or did something that was WIMPY.:lol: TM Note: Mike said, "Has nothing to do with her being American homey... And this is the mindset of all arab dudes that don't get their way ...they blame it on American lol. With a name like Rami I take your Middle Eastern (maybe Egyptian?). I oh yeah I can say this because i'm from Middle Eastern Descent". Oh, Boy!!!...Thanks, Mike, for saying this. I have heard of the idea that "men", (Note: I am using lower case letters), remain in their childhood mindsets for a long time and don't GROW-UP very quickly. I am a PERFECT example of this. I think it ALL boils-down to, Social Intelligence. Knowing what to say and when. Women have a MUCH higher level of Social Intelligence than us men. They have been practicing it at a MUCH higher rate, even, when we were playing baseball as kids.
thanks TM.. if there's any info on the riffing technique then I can surely use it.. that's an area I need to work on alot.. And by the way guys, as a comeback from yesterday.. i was able to get an email today from a really cute girl. i met her at a college graduation of one of my friends.. I saw her looking in the graduating names' list so I went up to her and said 'hey.. when's my friend's name coming up?'.. she said 'i don't know ur friend', i said 'but you look like a know it all.. ' so she giggled and it went from there till i said i had to go see my friends and got her email.. Now i need something good or teasing that will surely get me a response when I mail her..
One exercise which i read somewhere to get your brain to come up with stuff on the fly is to take a book. Choose a random page and take a word from the book now come up with story and talk about it for 5 minutes. For example Sky --> the sky is so beautiful at sunset its like it turns from a dark blue to a a yellow orange its so amazing its like when i was in spain sitting on the beach ... Are you doing the reckless coaching program by any chance ?..
sure.. i listened a short while ago to the audio that summarizes the reckless method and getting my mind used to it till the detailed stuff comes along, so i still can't recklessly apply the reckless method at this point right now i'm just barreling through with what I've learned so far from this program and other stuff when I want to do an approach.
I would also throw in there that being genuine can be helpful for those first interactions too. Really try to help them if they need directions or really be interested into something about them...but try not to be labeled as one of those nice guys and be sure to express your masculine intent. As far the American girls go, in my opinion they may be a little more "bitcher" but that shouldn't stop you it will only make more tension for you to break through which can be a benefit. As an American myself when I visited Latin American countries I found the girls there to be a lot more friendlier and flirtatious, probably because I am a "white boy" and I stood out a lot so I guess it just depends on who you are and where you are.
Chris; I was just talking to FM, about this subject on another thread. I keep-on getting conflicting responses and reasons for why men think women are bitches somewhere and friendly somewhere else. Here's my reasoning: 1. If you complain about American women and you are from a foreign country, you are a spoiled whiny boy with no attraction skills. 2. If you have decent attraction skills and like yourself, and go to a different country,... SURE, you will stand-out with the women and they will be friendlier to you, as opposed to men from that country. I am just guessing at this, but, I am using my intuition. TM
You are gonna meet bitches on your journey but look at it from this point of view. Every girl you approach or meet is practise for the next its as simple as that. Every one bitchy girl you meet there are 6-8 really nice friendly girls who you will meet. Today on a crowded subway train this blonde told me stop talking to her and leave her alone. She was very rude but i turned away and laughed to myself poor girl shes had a really bad day.The next 5-6 girls i approached were very warm and friendly.
Rami, dont get discouraged with one approach! Shit happens and keep at it and you will soon find your stride. They will throw yo those test but with each interaction you will get better.
that's really true.. with time u get used to the shut off thing and rejection bothers you less & less.. right now i'm just going out to malls and asking groups of girls random questions, like where r the movies or libraries? then i hang in there and get a short conversation going.. no real intention for numbers and dates, just to exersize my game, it's getting easier with everytime
It sounds like she thought you were selling something. The key here is to never hear a rejection. If she says I'm not interested. You shoot back with yea me either, then sit down next to her and say, I have to run but my name is whatever (shake her hand and don't let go) I'm new here and you look like a nice and trustworthy person maybe we can be lovers oops I mean friends....haha laugh It doesn't matter what they say, it only matters what you say. When you first meet a chick she's trying to frame the situation and you're trying to frame the situation. She's trying to frame you into the nice guy friend zone. You're trying to frame it into the you between your legs and her screaming f*** me harder zone. You have to push your frame onto them and not let them push their frame onto you. When a girl rejects you - don't take it, don't buy it, be a man. When rejected wimps will scamper off like a dog hit with a wet newspaper, but real men will stand their ground and demand to be respected. They won't run like a little girl. Don't listen to rejection, reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior pretty soon they will get the point. But that's just my .02 cents Hope it helps
