Went out alone tonight to a new bar in my city. No place to isolate, too small. One bar with an island and one tall table. Rest of the bar is small tables against the wall. I order a drink and sit at the island as it was the only open seat LOL Basically I set myself out as the "lone guy" upon entrance. Opps. I make small talk with a hot girl next to me. Turns out she was a model for a Captain Morgan promotion that was ending as I walked in. Seat opens at the bar. I migrate. The place was mostly girls...but all were in mixed-seated sets...Varsity Level. I talk to the bartender for a bit. Decide I am going to try something new and just open people that walk past me, so it seems like everyone is coming to me. One tall, decent girl comes out of the bathroom and walks past me. I say "Hey!" and tap her arm as she walks past. She was not going to stop so I repeat, and make a "come here" motion with my hand. I introduce myself and compliment her style. She tells me she models and makes banter about her nickname being "Leo" because she is fearless. I ask her if thats her zodiac sign and she says no, shes a Pices. Realizing how cliche sign talk is, I say "Holyshit...I'm a Gemini..is this bad? I don't think I can talk to you...." and close my body language. We talked longer than I expected. Her arms were crossed the whole time, but she would ocassionally touch me(?!) Most of the convo was lame, but she would re-initiate when I would close my BL and look away, distracted. Then I would alternate with searing eye contact (I did notice something flip in her when I did that) She told me she does online "naughty videos." Eventually she went back to her friends. Two fat chics come in and sit next to me. They order a huge obnoxious tropical drink with 8 straws and a giant cup. I look over, expecting them to catch my gaze. One looks away, not interested, the other smiles, but politely turns her back to me. I open anyway by asking what in the world they are drinking. "Sounds like trouble. Hey, is one of those straws for me!?" They banter and then say no. I say "Hey, wasn't asking for a drink just investigating your character. You 2 will finish that before I'm done with mine (point at empty glass.)" I tease them and engage lone guy next to me. The one can't handle chit-chat. I get bored, close my tab. While getting up, I wish them good luck on their booze quest. One tried to ignore till they realized I was leaving and they were friendly. Fuck that. I can't stand when I do fatties the favor of talking to them and they act all uninterested or insecure. Especially when I was undoubtedly the best dressed/looking person there. I was wearing a cream sweater with a crisp white button down under it, gray slacks, black leather shoes with a bit of a heel so I stand 6'4"and a black Peacoat from banana repub. I can honestly say, this was the best I have ever looked in my LIFE. Period. Yet I consistently get the worst responses from fat chicks WTF?! I leave. If anyone has anytips on endurance and how to sit at the bar while doing sets for more than 1 1/2 hour, let me know. I have no patience to just sit there forever with a douchebag smirk until chicks walk by. It did seem like a better way to work the small venue tho, than just bouncing from set to set with hardcore direct game. I am also noticing more nonverbal signals from girls, or things I am doing even if an interaction only goes "ok."
Hey earl, I get the subtle impression from your field reports that on some level you despise most of the girls and they're a pain in the ass - you're chatting them up more out of obligation. Maybe it needs to be more fun - and doing silly things with the girls just to lighten the mood. Like try licking their nose as an experiment to see what happens, or play thumb wrestling. Less trying and more letting go and being playful, spontaneous, or even ridiculous. Since what's on your mind is that you're the best dressed and tallest guy there, you could even playfully talk about that as a topic, kind of like mock bragging to the girl.
Wow. Yup. Literally had to back away from the computer on that one. It makes "faking it till you make it" that much harder because of constant negative female experiences. I've had a hard time having any fun at all going out. It does feel like a chore even if I'm doing well, because although I realize I should be shooting for SNL with the girls, I want the hand-holding, baby-step bullshit and want the girls to give any amount of a shit. That being said, I feel comfortable in a bar byself now and don't feel "out of place." I know I can approach if I want to. I'm going to try goofing off a bit more, but I was always the class clown and want to avoid "dancing monkey." Everytime I have doubts, I look at a picture of Adriana Lima and ask myself "Is the skill worth it?" Yes.
