Hey guys..its been very long since I last posted...its been a good ride but now I'am stuck again.. Fell in love with a very close friend , I've known her since 3 years and now I'm in that stage where I cant stop thinking about her..I got to know her when she going thru a bad phase with her ex..she was trying to chase him back after she got dumped..I have been always there for her and she has for me. Shes 30 and iam 26 years old..and our families are pretty different..in the sense hers is pretty modern and I come from a slightly orthodox family..at this point of time she is only thinking about marriage , no dating flings or anything else...she only wants to get settled down and so do I. I believe she's the one I wanna get married to..I , a few days back I confessed my feelings for her at my best friends destination wedding.I told her I genuinely like her and have since a while now and wanted to get married to her..she was pretty zapped and after actually believing the fact that i was serious said "I don't know" , and she knows that Iam a really nice and genuine guy who makes her laugh...but later she put it on the difference between the 2 families and the age difference between us..she was pretty skeptical about the whole thing working out in the long run and how she might face difficulties adjusting in my family...so I told her as long as there is love between us , these external factors wont matter..she finally said she will think about it and right now she really duznt know what to say...The two of us have partied danced got drunk and grinded each other a million times, we have an awesome time whenever we go out both of us get jealous when the other one is hanging out with other ppl or ignoring the other , we speak on the phone endlessly and BB all along , all our common friends , my close friends , acquaintances want us to be together...we are often called a couple by people who don't know us...everyone tell us we look awesome together and my close friends have always forced me to do something about it and at the wedding when I got drunk I finally confessed , over there we were even sharing the same room our comfort levels are awesome..Anyhow ever since I told her she has been actin a lil cold and weird...2 days back I told her that I was just being honest about my feelings and just wanted her to be honest as well..she just said I dont know right now... I really do love her alot and I dont know how to go about it..its very confusing , when we came back i messaged her that i was sorry if i had offended her in anyway or if was tyring to come on too hard on her and I have immense respect for her with a smiley...she said i did not offend her atall and there is ntn to be sorry about then we just chatted for a while about how important physical attraction is in a relationship and stuff... I dont know if I have already fucked up or have I done the right thing..what matters now is what should I do now?? I cant seem to concentrate on anything else right now , her confusing answer is keeping me hanging,,,dont know if i should try harder to show my affection and love for her or ignore her or be indifferent... Please advise guys !
Hey welcome back man. You posted a lot back in the day. First up, why don't you upload an avatar image? Just click on "Edit Profile" in the yellow menu bar. You're so needy for her at this point, it will completely fuck with your mind. And when you're around her, you're going to start acting all weird, clingy, and a "super nice guy" because you're so desperate for her to like you. In Seduction there is PUSH (away) and PULL. You're doing all pull, pull, pull. That's not good. There MUST be both. The PUSH gives the girl a chance to chase YOU. You've got to go 4 weeks COLD TURKEY on her. Don't see her. Don't call her. Don't talk to her. Don't think about her. Let her think, "What the fuck happened? What did I do wrong?" And get her chasing YOU. That's the only way you'll get this girl. Pull away, and let her FEEL what it's like to lose you. Also, start working on other options with women. Girls want what they perceive as scarce and hard to obtain. Scarcity = value. Like gold and diamonds. You're making yourself WAY too available. Also, I perceive that you don't touch her enough. Play wrestle with her, thumb wrestle, massage her hands, take her by the hand and lead her. Tickle her. Hug her. If you're not doing that, that's your second biggest mistake.
Yep Hey Jesse.. thanks for the reply man.. I know I have become needy and ya true Ive been acting like the nicest guy possible , I will pull back...I was thinking that I should take her out for dinner and tell her everything when Im sober cuz the last time we spoke about this we were drunk and ill let her know that she should decide and lemme know soon , cuz i don't wanna end up as a friend who wants to be with her and keep chasing her. Even our common best friend spoke to her and she told him that she likes me , and she is seriously thinking about it , cuz at her age now if she attaches her name with someone it straight away means marriage , there's no time for dating , flings etc. Basically , I think I should have a serious conversation with her discussing her reservations about the family and future etc..and once that is over..ill totally push away..block all contact , till she comes up with something substantial. She should know that its either everything or nothing.Cuz frankly its getting very difficult to concentrate on anything else right now , and I do need clarity..The whole "I dont know phase" is confusing me more and I dont know how to act with her...I just end being extremely sweet and caring , even she feels it and told me to relax nd get too stressed... If I push away right now randomly I dont know what might happen , shell probably think I wasnt serious.Dont know , what do you think ? going for that romantic dinner is a good option?
Thanks for the reply Karea! I completely agree with the freeze out, i agree I have become too needy and I'am giving her alotta attention,and unnecessary compliments..I have overdone it I know.I just wasn't sure weather to start immediately or wait till the dinner discussion and then start.We have been on the blackberry messenger non stop , ill stop that now.Shes going for a party tonight so ill be outta touch , it should be a good start. Also , I have misplaced Dereks books,can you suggest what should I start reading immediately and the links. Thanks.
Don't do that. If you confess everything before you do the freeze out, would destroy the whole point of the freeze out. The PULL AWAY is meant to keep her guessing, wondering, worried, on edge. To make you unpredictable. If you confess everything right before you do it, pulling away at that point just makes it look like you got depressed once she rejected you. Whenever you give a girl an ultimatum without any notice - which is what confessing your love for a girl is - forcing her to give you a "Yes" or "No" answer on the spot - a girl will ALWAYS say "No" if she feels she's being pushed. Always. Even if she likes you. So all around, in every way, it's a bad idea. There is literally no positive aspect to doing it.
Taco, I took down the old free ebook, which is now in the form of posts throughout the site. However, I'll contact you by Private Message to send you something else.
