Trying to give her Vaginal Orgasm, need help!

Hey guys. Hopefully someone here will be able to give a few pointers.

Basically I've been seeing a girl that lives up in Montreal. I live around NY...its about 6 hours away. I think someone here was doing a similar thing with a girl in Toronto?

Anyway, I've actually only been with her on two separate occasions, but we skype a lot. I've been giving her orgasms over skype, talking dirty, etc. Except that she's always rubbed her pussy against something or rubbed herself while we talk and this helps her to come a few times, which is great.

She's 23, and the only way that she's ever been able to come with someone is through what she calls "the rub". When you lay down to the side of her, raise her leg and start rubbing your cock against her pussy and clit. This way she can cum easily.

But...she said she's never had an orgasm through sex before. We had sex (post phone orgasm, and post deep spot method), and she didn't look like she was ever really close to cumming through sex. Even after taking her hard, dominating her, talking dirty, etc.

So I tried using the deep spot on her, and she liked it but was the first girl I haven't been able to make cum through using the deep spot.

She's extremely comfortable about herself, very open minded, emotionally healthy, etc. I just feel like she's conditioned herself over time to always be used to rubbing something before she cums.

I've given girls orgasms over phone without them touching themselves before, its usually not a problem for me. But it just seems that she's conditioned herself to rely specifically on her pussy/clit rubbing against something in order to come, and through skype she always wants to rub it against something.

So I'm wondering, after trying skype/phone and the deep spot, what else should I do to give her a vaginal orgasm? I really want to give her this but its the first time this has happened, and I'm not sure which direction to go.

Should I build everything up really slowly until she can't take it anymore? Something along these lines?

Sorry for the rant. Any tips I'd appreciate. Thanks!

Eug;

Ahh!..finally, someone I can relate to.

I have been noticing that ALMOST ALL women that I know, (unfortunately), DO NOT have vaginal orgasms, (g-spot, deep-spot, cervix orgasms).
ALMOST ALL women are clit dependent.
(My guess is, she can have clitorial orgasms when she masturbates.)
It is your job to SHOW them how to have vaginal types of orgasms.
(Look at my thread, "Types Of Orgasms a Woman Can Have".)

It sounds like you are doing GREAT with her using phone and Skype sex. It's your voice quality, (deep/confident/sexy), and sexy dirty talk with sex fantasy stories that will bring her to higher levels of her sexual imagination.

She can learn how to have a g-spot orgasm over the phone or Skype.
The g-spot is about 2 inches inside of the vaginal opening on the front surface of the vaginal wall. Using a curved-tip dildo or her using her finger/s is effective. (See my above, mentioned, thread and see my thread, "Truisms About Women".)

I believe, it is going to be up to you to SHOW her how to have the other vaginal orgasms by being with her, and NOT, over the phone.

I hope, Eug, that your intention is to provide pleasure to the woman and your pleasure is secondary. Once you can accept this idea, and convey it to the woman, your experiences with her will expand to greater pleasures for her and for you.

I can say a few more things to enhance the experiences with her.

I'll wait for more feedback from you.

You're doing GREAT!!

TM

Note: DON'T show her or talk about the above threads, just yet. I believe, this is info that goes beyond their belief system and they MAY develop a mental BLOCK to these beliefs.

Hey Tequilaman!

Thanks for the reply.

I know you said its going to be up to me to show her how to have vaginal orgasms when I'm with her. My question is what I can do about it?

I feel that over years by masterbating and with past boyfriend's she's conditioned herself to cum mainly through rubbing herself with her hand or against something. Hence why she loves "the rub" before sex.

You would think, that after making her come 3-4-5 times over skype, that she would have no problem having vaginal orgasms during sex. But it just didn't happen and I was dominant and talking dirty the whole time.

Like I said the deep spot didn't work on her no matter how long I tried, and she wants to cum through sex...I guess after all that I'm just not sure what to do or to try differently once I'm with her?

Let me know your thoughts.

Eug;

I think that eventually, we will be able to communicate our ideas and what can be done.

I guess you know the deep-spot is about 3 inches inside of the vagina. A finger, dick or dildo will only reach it. She can not reach it with her finger/s.

She can reach the g-spot with her finger/s or dildo. She can stimulate the clit and g-spot with a special vibrator that stimulates both areas.

What I have been successful at doing is telling a woman a short sex fantasy of me:
fucking her,
licking/sucking her pussy,
fucking her in the ass
licking/nibbling her nipples
(It's pretty easy to do. Just tell her to image that you are there with her, you slowly remove parts of her clothing, you start licking her thighs, then her nipples, then fuck her or lick her pussy. You say, "I then go to your pussy and start, licking and sucking, licking and sucking...etc". Keep-on repeating the words licking and sucking in a forceful way.)

It's hard to describe what I say in words. You have to learn to make it as real for her as possible. Her sexual imagination will kick-in and believe it.

When you tell her you are fucking her, and she is getting all wet, tell her she is going to have a vaginal orgasm.

Are you using hypnosis?

TM

Hey TM, I'm not using hypnosis yet.

The deep spot I used when I was with her, not over skype. I can easily talk dirty to her just like you said and get her to orgasm. But the problem isn't telling her what I'm going to do to her over skype/phone, the prob is I want her (and she wants) to cum (vaginal orgasm) through regular sex (penetration).

Thats what I'm trying to do consistently...to try to be able to get her a vaginal orgasm just through sex, without having to rely on vibrators or anything else.

OK, Eug, now I understand. (Isn't it funny at how men have a difficult time communicating to each other what they mean!?) :lol:

So, when you were with her, (NOT phone/Skype):
Did you stimulate her clit and did she have a clitorial orgasm?
Did you stimulate her G-Spot with your finger/s?
Did you stimulate her Deep-Spot with your finger/s?

TM
Note: Sorry about these simple questions, but, I am having a difficult time understanding how far you went with her in pleasuring her.

TM,

I think Eug has done those things but can only bring her to a clit based orgasm. Like maybe she's somehow been desensitized to a vaginal one.

Eddie;

She's clit dependent.
There are several reasons why a woman doesn't have vaginal orgasms.

1. Most of the time, they are NOT aware that it is possible. Kinseys' report in 1958 stated women can have only clit orgasms and NOT vaginal orgasms.

2. Women who are more curious about their sexuality will find the correct info.

3. If a woman is intimate with a man who knows what he is doing, she will realize her sexual potential.

4. Sexual abuse/trauma can cause a woman to be unwilling to have vaginal orgasms.

TM

Small update, for anyone that is interested :

1) As it turns out, she's never had a clit orgasm...until I gave her one recently. And you want to know what she said?

She said it felt really good, but not as good as "the rub"! She says when she cums through the rub (me rubbing cock against her pussy facing sideways), she can not only cum multiple times...but she feels it in her whole body she says.

So it turns out she wasn't having clitoral orgasms before.

2) I still haven't been able to make her cum through penetration alone. I used my finger on her deep spot for a long time one time, talking in her ear the whole time, and she said herself that at one point...maybe for a second, she felt that she had to go pee. And I told her to just let go, that she wasn't going to.

I casually asked her while we were relaxing how she felt during it (she didn't come, after bout 10 mins), and it was interesting...she had a hard time explaining it. It was as if there were times she was feeling really good, but something was holding her back somehow? I don't know. She really had a hard time describing it. Something along the lines of..."it felt good, and sometimes I'm not sure what I felt...I'm not sure. I don't know babe." Were her answers. Of course I didn't want to probe too deeply because I don't want to put pressure, and less talk and more action is usually better.

I've heard women describe it as a little pain/pleasure for the first time, and that they just had to trust themselves to let go. I'm wondering if she was coming closer to that point, and had NEVER come to that point before, and she was somehow subconsciously holding herself back because she's never fully let go before.

If anyone knows about this, can you tell me if I'm possibly on the right track at all? Or is there more that I have to do (or change) about my behavior/actions on my side.

I'm starting to think more and more that there's just something there I'm not seeing or am aware of thats preventing her from letting go completely. (because, like I said, I've never not been able to make a girl have a vag orgasm using the deep spot)

Any info would be great, thanks.

All I can offer are my own experiences.

So, here we go. You guys are gonna freak!:woot:

I had my first self induced orgasm at 12- watching debbie does dallas, the part where Roberta is working for the couple who sells candles.. you guys know what I am talking about right?

I saw her rub her clit, I did the same, naturally held my breath... then heaven for some seconds!!!

Then when I was 14. I was with a boy for the first time. I didn't get wet, and I did not have an orgasm.

Then I was promiscous. Had LOTS of sex, and they all said the same thing... you just haven't been with the right guy.

The ONLY thing I can come up with as to why I can't cum with a man is because I seriously am not comfortable with myself.

It is horrifying to think a man watching my face when I cum.. I hold my breath. It is difficult, next to impossible to not hold my breath, so I am worried, essentially how stupid I look. (These, I know are stupid, but it is the truth!)

I have learned to relax more with age, but still very difficult.

Then because I did masturbate extensively as an adolescent, I became accustomed to holding my breath, and then being silent when I came.. couldn't let anyone hear me.

Now, I feel really stupid because All the pornos I watch the ladies are moaning and screaming and here I am quiet as a mouse!!!!

I know that the guy would be like WTF? EMBARRASSING!!

The first time I found out about the vaginal orgasm.. or g-spot, I think I was 23 years old.. and I was like wondering why in the hell I kept reading about that crap yet didn't know how to have one.

So I got on my bed and started to go through a list of all the things that turned me on as a child..(bound and determined as hell to have a vaginal orgasm) I thought about the time the dog licked my pussy, I thought about the Debbie does Dallas video... but since I had not had a positive experience with men in relations to getting turned on... the association with men=orgasms.. or men= getting wet and tingling, was absent.. BTW, I was sexually molested as a child. Could definitely be a factor...

Anyway, I associated with the things I KNEW made me excited. It was work and I had to think about and find it. Not sure if all women are up to doing that, however I was fiercly determined.

Okay, so I thought, and thought.. it took awhile-(also let me say this, womens chemicals and hormones can play a large part in relaxing....) then I felt tingly down there, and stuck my finger up there and didn't move it in and out like modeling a penis during intercourse, rather I did the hook shape and the "come here" gesture... but I had to keep focused on the sexual thought, and maneuver my finger and hold my breathe... geez you guys have it so easy!

But, when I did cum.... I CAME.. holy mother Mary of God.. it was fucking great...

This is important.
1.) If you reassure her, that she is not alone..( because that just adds on top of all the other crap.. the extra stress, then we think "why me" "what is wrong with me?"..

2.) Gently tell her that it is possible.

3.) The thing here, is that we woman are so emotionally attached to our pussy's. Meaning our emotions can help govern our sex drive.. when she KNOWS that you REALLY care, man what a fucking turn on.. just thinking about a man caring about me that much makes me want to choke on his dick! Then it shows that you are not shallow, that there is depth to you.. and it sounds to me that you do care. Which is awesome

4.) I just know that the more comfortable she is with herself, the more comfortable she can be with you...

I am a sex freak and can probably make myself cum in 45 seconds, then do it again in another minute. BUT I am not worried about the way I look. At all. ALL inhibitions are gone... Crazy huh guys!! But a very skilled man could do everything possible to make me cum.. and me be all froze up, when I find the answer to this riddle I will definitely let you guys know!!!

This is a very difficult thing to achieve, but achievable nonetheless!

Good Luck!! PS. I am sure it is not you!! Please trust me when I say that.

Oh but of course .. forgot the ONE time I came with a penis, penetration, My ex-husband could fuck and fuck, for me that wasn't good because It made me feel like I didn't feel good enough to make him cum quickly.
But one day, I was like"fuck it" I am going to take advantage of this! So as he was fucking me, I thought of him fucking another girl! (If he had done that for real, I probably wouldn't had been so turned on) I thought, and thought... then BOOM I had it, But honestly ... nothing against him, it was so much work I thought It really wasn't worth it. But that is so sad for us women. We are so complicated.. I hate it!!!:thumbdown:

But, By George, I had my "vaginal" orgasm with a real penis! HHHAHHAhahaahah :lol:

Oh yeah... I am probably not typical, oBVIOUSLY!! HAHAHa

But when I am trying to concentrate on getting turned on and it starts to work, then the guy says .. "cum for me baby" I totally freeze up.. like pouring a bucket of ice cold water on me, sometimes I secretely wish they would be quiet so I could concentrate, nothing against them.. it's just that maybe it is like learning to play an instrument.. I have to take it slow.. practice, and concentrate, then when I get accustomed to cumming... the words can THEN be used as a driving force, but for now it just adds more pressure.. and unfortunately I don't have an example I can think of except it's like when I am taking a run.. it is hard enough to run, it takes ALL my concentration, then if someone comes and tries to talk to me, I get so frustrated and have to stop...

But then, I am DIFFERENT, I have not talked to girls about this.-

This is just my case...

Oh, FUCK!..I was reading and TRYING to understand, Eug, and tell him what to do. Then, JR, chimes-in and explains everything!!!:thumbup:

Thanks, JR, that was a GOOD explanation and perspective that you took. I think it is going to be difficult for Eugs' GF to relax, let-go and enjoy the many ways she can have orgasms.

I was thinking that Eug could use a different approach. Instead of making your objective to make her have vaginal orgasms by penetration or fingering...make it your objective of giving her a sensuous massage and focus on her sensuous pleasure of TOUCH and massage. This means, to NOT TOUCH any sexual areas..just TOUCH/massage ALL over her body. If you are GOOD at it, she will experience Full-Body Orgasms.
You are going to have to become aware that a womans' body is one big sensuous sex organ.

Sorry, Eug,.. I am not able to give you specific recommendations that will work. A womans' sexuality and her past experiences affect how she responds to you, sexuality. I think, the two of you are going to have to become more comfortable with one another and YOU MUST convince her that you will treat her with respect.
TM

There's a pretty decent instructional video on the internet about the g-spot. The guy gives visual demonstration and tips, but stresses that a girls insecurity is the main obstacle.

I have the link, but perhaps I should ask if it is ok to post porn-esche type material on this forum.

JR;

To the best of my knowledge, I know of ONLY two women, (out of 200?), who DO NOT like for me to talk to her, during the time we are intimate.
They said the same thing...they lose their concentration.

But, with MOST women, leading the woman with sex talk, like, dirty talk, helps in conveying instructions to her that will kick-in her sexual imagination. ALMOST ALL women seem to NEED this type of talk. The man is guiding/leading her to sexual experiences that she is reluctant to do. She doesn't want to take the responsibility of her sexual experiences. (I know it sounds like a woman doesn't want to take-on the responsibility, but, most of the time, it works, psychologically).

It is totally, OK, for a woman and a man to make noises during sex. Moaning, groaning, panting and wild screaming are perfectly OK. To me, it means the person is letting-go.

TM

Hoyle- go ahead and post the video..there are NO holds barred in our conversations.
There's lots of info about the g-spot.
TM

The Secrets of the G-Spot

There's a longer version of that video where he discusses the importance of kegel exercises, massage techniques, g-spot myths, and a woman's self esteem.

In the end it reinforces everything TM and JR have been saying about connecting with the woman you're with on both a physical and non-physical level.

Hoyle;

I posted this video, about 2 months ago.
It's a good video. To get ALL of his instructions, there is a cost to it.
He is demonstrating Tantric/Taoist Massage techniques.
You, MAY, notice he has conditioned her to have an orgasm by him just kissing her. :thumbup:
(He is using a hypnotic induction technique that I use.) :thumbup:

I haven't tried this method, but, I think it would work, GREAT!

He is focusing, ALL of his attention on, HER. He is PLEASURING her with various techniques.

She is going to be a VERY happy person!
(After him doing this to her, she is going to want him to FUCK her, REAL good!) :thumbup:

TM

Yes I like the kiss-condition he's got going on.

I do borrow the finger technique often which does give good results, it's gotten me a few "That was the best ever". And you know when you've succeeded, because the giggle expression on her face isn't easily faked.

I tend to agree with the importance of a girl's self esteem though. Mainly because I really do believe opening a girl's self esteem issues is the one area my game lacks the most. I'm not saying I'm horrible at it, but the expression on her face at the end of the video really is as rewarding as he say it is.