What my baby cousin (re)taught me about game

So this is my thrid or second day of college. New city, new people, new experiences. I'm rather enjoying myself and my new found freedom. There's just one hump I've been struggling with, approach anxiety. It may have actually gotten worse. I've noticed something intersting about college girls. Like 95 percent of the time they travel in groups. That makes things more difficult for me in my mind.

Today ( yesterday really it's early morning), I went shopping with my cousin and her friend, I have no car. She has a baby girl. Very wonderful child. She smiled at me first I smiled back naturally. I noticed something, the bigger more fully from a place of geniune joy I smiled the bigger her smile was as well. They noticed and then started talking about this guy the baby girl didn't like. Saying something like, "it's interesting how they like baby's can just tell.(something along those lines)"

The combination of those two experiences caused a click in my brain. When I really think about it I not sure I've ever smiled at any of these girls( referring to one I may simply pass or look at). Which reminds me of state inertia. I got here and I simply forgot all that. I feel blessed to go on that trip, truly blessed, There's also other realizations I've had but those are more subconscious and hardier to express in words.

Children really are a precious gift
I thank my cousin, her friend, and my baby cousin( and others) for reinstelling my confidence and belief in myself. I forget some very important aspects of my self when I left my old city. They're back and I feel wonderful.

-Nigel

to your college problem...

is not everyone new there? especially in your clases?
so everybody is a little bit frigthened and wants to make friends.. it's your advantage..
just sit every class next to other girls.. talk with them about being new here etc. what you like etc. and that you should do something togther because she seems fun and you or both of you are new in town and don't know a lot of people... if you do this in every new class than you will have at least 5 new Girls wich are your friends at the end of the week and so a lot of social value...

If you have the phone numbers just call them on the weekend and if everybody is new at colloege just organise a party or something where you all could go to... and boom you are the fucking man...

just my 2 cents
iam

After that experience and reading some amazing articles my whole outlook on life changed. And things are wonderful. I feel more whole, more complete. Yet my anxiety still gets the best of me.

Strangely when I actually do say something it comes off nervous. This is today I'm taking about.. Yesterday was amazing.
Perhaps it's because of my "bad" meditation experience this morning. I didn't as much from it as I usually do and would like.

Class doesn't start til Monday.
Thanks Iam great idea.

I know this will be handled. I'm certain about that. I'm ready to get this part of my life , my being handled.

Saw my cousin a couple of days ago. She is a joy. I'm reminded of myself every time I'm around her.

College is great. You literally meet cute girls just by living life in your truest way( though still a work in progress). it''s crazy your literally sounded by them. Luckily my roommate is charismatic as hell(if that language is appropriate). So it's inspirational how easily he talks to girls and is around them.

I mostly talk to them after class on the way to either of our next classes. My classes finish early in the day. "Making my move" the thing I'm working on.

I'm wondering a lot of the time I'll have fun but short conversations with some girls. Like 20 seconds to a minute. Even if isn't on terms of quote on quote romantic. Is it worth exchanging numbers? Assuming I want it. I talk to pretty much anyone. I love people. That seems to be true the other way around also. Continueing, I never see alot of these girls again. In fact a few minutes ago I was talking to some cool girls at the atm whom I've

Thinking about it I'm not even sure this is a problem. Maybe a rant on something that's been brought to my attention.

PS: The more social I'm becoming the more my beliefs change and my insights increase. One thing I've noticed is that girls are typically more friendly than guys(though I've meet tons of cool dudes also, I hate awkward elevator rides so I figure say something and lets not make it awkward). I have no anxiety talking to another dude. It's an insight thats opened me and my heart more at least I think so among other ones.

Just a couple of questions:
What do you do if you want to eat?
What do you do if you want to drink?
What do you do if you want to breath?
What do you do if you want to watch a movie?
What do you do if you want to do sports?

You just do all these things or not?


And just remember: unless there aren't no cool girls in your class, just sit next to them and start a conversation. Even if the full room is empty besides one beutiful girl, just sit next to her. Maybe it's a little bit akward at the beginning and you just want to leave some space, but after a while this will become normal...

good luck

What, Iam, is saying is:
Be FRIENDLY with ALL women.

It would be a good habit to TOUCH the women...but, first, ask permission to shake-their-hand and/or HUG them. Thereafter, it's AUTOMATIC when you meet them. (You will learn, which women are friendly and want to be TOUCHED. It's HEALTHY to TOUCH people. While you are at it, shake mens' hands...you are showing RESPECT.)

TM

Note: What I mean by asking permission, I mean:
Walk-up to her and say, "Can I shake your hand?, HI,"..or, "Can I give you a HUG"?
It's vital to ask permission from a woman. She will see that you are showing RESPECT towards her and a HUG will indicate a greater warmth you have for her.

Not only be friendly towards woman, just with everybody, everybody is your friend unless they are disrespectful towards you.

But I am totaly against this:

Really why should you do something like that? It only makes sense if it would be socially and culturell unappropiate to huge somebody...

my two cents

I agree.

For me, I would go the route of, *big smile* Hey, come here! Let me give you a hug/kiss on cheek/whatever.

You can guage it on their reactions. If you are moving towards them, and they are close to you, it is more natural.

Hugging was always weird for me growing up, I think mostly because people are scared to make a first move to touch. If you are COMFORTABLE and make that MOVE, they will follow suit.

Iam and Earl;

It is common practice/tradition to hug/kiss women and shake the hand of men in other societies, like Brazil and France.
It MAY seem inappropriate to most people because WE don't do it here in the USA.
I am having a difficult time explaining it. I will look for a video of it that might re-enforce what I mean.
I went to a Brazillian restaurant for many years and this is where I learned it.
I have been doing it for about 2 years.

A person needs to be conscience of a persons boundaries. It MAY seem disrespectful to walk-up to a woman, you never met, and tell her you want to hug/kiss her. (This is how you turn, some, women OFF.)

There are two clubs that I go to where I am greeted with a hand-shake.
In one other club, it MAY have been my influence, two of the women hug one another when they depart one-another. I will hug/kiss some of the women that I have a BOND with or just met.
Several female bartenders will hug some of the customers.

What I do is just another step in breaking the rules that our society tells us NOT to do. Am I a happier person for doing this?...YES!

TM

From the way I read it it seems you all are misunderstanding one another.

Thanks Iam, I actually got this girl's number the day after(or of, not sure) I saw your first post after my last one. I said bye to her like I normally do after my interactions with women. I realized this time she wasn't in my class. My thought was maybe I'll see her again if it's on same day after class. My highest desire I knew I wanted to see her again so I tracked her down and asked for her number after saying I realized I may never see you again. After the third time seeing her I finally got it. The second time I accidentally deleted it.

Earl, I'm with you bro, I've found smiling to be magical. I literally see it light up some girls world. I never really hugged much growing up. I got better as I got older. I think I got more hugs in my senior year of high school than cumulatively before that point (none family of course).


TM,
Anyways, commonly I do end my interactions with women with a hug. though I do see the need to make it more of habit. After all I enjoy it. Also, I know girls love hugs( and touch generally speaking).

I hand shake all the time my friends and just generally people I like. That's just my personality. I love people It's so true I don't think I can say it enough to drive home the point. I love discovering another person's world. Where they come from, how that's shaped them today. Their dreams, hopes, aspirations, fears, desires, secrets , etc everything that all interest me. Specially the juicy stuff.(well it all is and my feeling mean something different) We're all human right.

Also, I have a new passion/hobby. Talking to women. I just love being around them. The feminine is just so interesting/awesome to me. That's a world I really love/enjoy "to explore"/exploring.

This hug thing does have me curious.
TM, what impact have you found it has?
Saying"can I" really isn't line with me. I'd rather say I want a hug while hold arms out. Or just saying give me a goodbye hug while holding arms out.
Typing that I see the impact of "Can I." In terms of goodbye hug. But not a greeting hug.

One thing that I'm working on right now is escalating to covey interest/intent. I think my probably will be solved easily by being more direct. Which is a rather new insight and holiday is right now so not sure when next I to try it out. Tuesday school starts again, it's Saturday and I'm anctuiuos/excited.

Guess that's all for now.

Nigel

Nigel;

Asking permission to hug and/or shake hands with a woman, you just met, is important. Remember, they have boundaries and so do you.
After you have done the initial, "asking permission", it will, most likely, become common place and asking permission ("Can I give you a hug"?) isn't ALWAYS, needed.

The "asking permission" isn't a formal thing and it does NOT indicate a wimpy type of behavior.


The way you do it, sounds GREAT and is very similar to what I do.
"I'd rather say I want a hug while hold arms out. Or just saying give me a goodbye hug while holding arms out".

You're, RIGHT, women LOVE to get hugs/kisses...so do, I. :thumbup:

What we are doing is forming a BOND with a woman. This is also true when you shake the hands of men. This is VERY important for feeling good...you are forming a connection with another person.
I believe, when we hug women, oxytocin is released in both of our bodies.
Note: What affect I have on women when I hug them is VERY different from almost ALL mens' affect on women. Almost ALL of the women will start having orgasms where I TOUCH/hug them. I think it's, due to, my Sexual Energy. I can tell they are having orgasms if I get a hard-on and I start having non-ejaculatory orgasms. :thumbup:

Because our society discourages hugs/kisses in public, us men, DON'T do it much.

TM

Here's a video demonstration of how I HUG most women.
Note: The way I do it is with my arms reaching around her waist, touching/massaging her back.

Margot, is a Tantric teacher. She says it does create TRUST.
video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1967130517609926833

Thanks TM, I'm really perceiving you as someone I could learn from.
The video was nice, will definitely put into practice.

I just noticed something in your words I never noticed before. You said, "Can I give you a hug?" not "Can I have a hug?"
From the way I see it it reveals that your mindset with hugs and kisses (that'll be something really new, I'm curious if you can do that with American girls) is that you giving her a gift. Seeing the effect you have on them, that would be logical. Perhaps I read it wrong before instead of as is, one of my high school teachers said I did that.


Do you have any tips that the video might not have covered?

Also, do you have any experiences with energetic type practices? Yoga, meditation, qi gong, so on and so forth.

MMOs and NEOs are something I'm working on right now. I have a book on tantric kriya yoga. I need to read it but I'm new to enjoying reading.

Do you have an example of the type of kissing you are referring to? Living in america all my life that's something like another language.

Nigel

Nigel;

I don't know what MMO and NEO means.

YES..getting permission by saying, "Can I give you a HUG", is like a GIFT you are giving a woman.
What I do is PLEASURE women. A HUG will create a BOND with the woman. Depending on how you do it, it can, also, convey a sexual attraction...both of you will get turned-ON.
There's NO need to stay with her and talk. Do it when you meet her and say goodbye to her.
The time period of the HUG can last for a few seconds to 1 minute.


"Do you have any tips that the video might not have covered"?
(Can't think of any..when you HUG her, the woman has her arms around my shoulders.)


"Also, do you have any experiences with energetic type practices? Yoga, meditation, qi gong, so on and so forth".

(Tantra chose me, I didn't choose Tantra. It came to me, naturally, without any training. It took many years of experience to develop my energy level. It's called, Kundalini or Chakra Sexual Energy.)

Note: The best way that I can explain to you of how to activate your energy, is to, make a conscience effort at projecting your enegy to the other person by TOUCHING them...it's like electricity...we ALL have it. It can be turned-OFF and turned-ON. :thumbup:


"Do you have an example of the type of kissing you are referring to"?

(It's best to ask permission to kiss her on the cheek or forehead...just a quick kiss. "Can I kiss you on your cheek/forehead"?)


To explain the above seems soo simple and natural to me, but, I NEVER did these things, until, the past 2 years.
When I first started, I was awkward, but, I learned it by doing it to many women.

In conclusion, you will be giving her a GIFT (PLEASURING her). You will help to create a BOND (a good feeling you have for someone) and a certain TRUST level (you are friendly and ask permission to TOUCH/HUG/KISS her).
You can view it as a NATURAL act of being HUMAN...it's healthy behavior. :thumbup:

TM

Note: I will be posting other info/videos about this subject. The more questions people have, the better I will think of why I do it.
It's important that we break some of the rules that our conservative society tells us.

Earl
Yeah, it didn't work for me either. I just searched for the video title in Google then found a working link.

Heres where I watched it:
video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1967130517609926833

TM,

MMO=male multiple orgasms
NEO=non-ejaculatory orgasms

Been hugging more girls recently. The quality of the hug has improved and gotten more intimate, connected, and loving. Still working though. I feel so much better after one aka I feel great. Strangely over the last day touching for me has gotten more aggressive/frequently naturally.

Maybe that's a side effect of wanting to more consciously improve quality of hug( a moment when people can connect physically) .


Tm, where do you live? have you tried the kiss thing in US?

This hug effect you have still has me curious. When you hug a girl what are feeling in your body?
How does that relate to her and her effect on you?

Nigel

Using the acroynyms: MMO=male multiple orgasms and
NEO=non-ejaculatory orgasms, is a new one for me. :lol:

Thanks, Nigel, for that link..I will try it on the original link.

Nigel said: "Been hugging more girls recently. The quality of the hug has improved and gotten more intimate, connected, and loving. Still working though. I feel so much better after one aka I feel great. Strangely over the last day touching for me has gotten more aggressive/frequently naturally".

(Sounds, GREAT, Nigel...there are many areas on a womans' back/shoulders/neck that are VERY sensitive to TOUCH/massage.
Once you become more friendly with her, you can ask her if it's OK for you to TOUCH her butt. You will give it a real good, squeeze.)


"Tm, where do you live? have you tried the kiss thing in US"?

(I live in the USA, midwest....yeah, there's a lot of conservative people where I live. I have NOT gotten any bad repercussions from doing this, that I know of. Sure, there will be some people who will frown upon this type of behavior. But, remember, you will gain much more from doing this, as opposed to, NOT doing this.
YES!..I almost ALWAYS kiss her on the cheek or forehead.)


"This hug effect you have still has me curious. When you hug a girl what are feeling in your body?
How does that relate to her and her effect on you"?

(Both of your bodies will MESH together. Several chemicals will be released in both of your bodies. The most talked about chemical is, oxytocin, the BONDING/TRUST/TOUCH chemical. It's the FEEL-GOOD chemical.
Almost ALL men do NOT project their Sexual Energy. It's because they were NOT taught it can happen. When a man DOES project his sexual energy, the woman will FEEL the energy and respond by getting turned-ON and having orgasms.
When she starts having orgasms, you will feel/receive her orgasms. You will, then, start having orgasms. The name for these orgasms can be called, Whole-Body or Spiritual/Sacred Orgasms. My thread, "Types of Orgasms a Woman Can Have", describes this.)


Earl: Thanks for the compliment. :lol:
I'm glad the two of you are showing interest in hugging/PLEASURING women.

Keep the questions and comments cuming!
I may have to start a thread about HUGGING women. This can be called, Body Language.

TM

Wow! This is an awesome post. I have dated a lot of women who place a very high value on their respectablity (and would probably be very offended if I was too forward with them). This formidable barrier is combined with another barrier where they insist on dating in public settings so it is difficult to become intimate. However, by asking permission to hug or kiss, I can break through these formidable barriers with their respect. Also, the term "MELTING HUG" speaks volumes! This is not just a good bye pat on the back quickie type of hug. This is an intimate melting together hug that breaks the ice and melts away all the barriers, builds trust, opens up, and releases all the chemistry between a man and a woman. I think this is a good way to break through the barriers I have mentioned. And it leaves the woman residing in her warm feelings, rather than the logical and formal side of her brain.

Touching = Heaven Sent, got it.
I predict the sexual energy thing would probably be a natural occurrence when I'm totally in line with my feelings and what I want. I guess ideologies such as Sexual comfort, loving sex, and seeing it as also or mainly as a spiritual thing. I have some ideas to tap in to that more fully.

player's m response did spark a question in me I can't believe I never thought of.
TM, how do you go about deeper longer time period for hugs that way they can be more fully received? Typical hugs last only a few seconds. 7 is a stretch. A desired one though. Longer would be better. Do you ask specifally for a longer one. That way you can relax even more in the hug than usual.
Man ideas are flowing.

In my present state of existeing talking to and approaching girls has become natural part of my life. It's who I am and what I love to do. Once again passion and new "hobby". One thing that needs overcoming is taking it to the next level beyond that. One "problem" I have escalting so they truly see me. They see who and what I want, Them. They know I have no interest in being simply friendly with them. What I really want is to break down all the barriers between us(emotionally and physically).
Emotional closeness.
I want to see who they really are absolutely, fully.