Wow, Harder Than I Thought

I went out tonight for the first time in a few weeks.

Feeling a bit nervous before hitting the road, as usual, but everything is cool once I'm inside.

I see some people I know from highschool and walk up and say "hey" right off the bat. We were good friends. He doesn't intro me to his group, and blows me off with "Ok. cool seeing you. Later."

Go up to bar. place myself between two hot girls. Another HS person recogs me and we chat a bit. While chatting, the hot girl starts pointing and gesturing infront of me. I playfully push her arm away, and say "wow, this isn't Saturday Night Fever, you could put someone's eye out."

She starts laughing and takes it well. I keep talking to the friend, but she interrupts asking "OMG you teach!! I teach too!"

I tell her to wait her turn and keep talking to my friend(just as a neg, I couldn't give less of a shit about the dude.) I then intro myself to her and chat, ignoring my friends bc they were dicks to me in HS.

Build some attraction, then introduce her to them, sit back, and watch them tool themselves by leaning in, seeking report and talking about their gay as shit economic firm jobs.

Girl leaves, and I take her seat and talk to her friend. I made sure she was leaning into me while talking and held her territory. When her friend came back she was like, "Are you keeping my seat warm??" And I said sarcastically, that I'm such a gentleman. I intro myself to the dude of the group and ask how they know eachother. He was not a BF so I start gaming the hottie. She closes her BL to me, but I keep talking and telling my story. My BL was tight, loud talking, eye contact, but she still started ignoring me.

I kept talking but it got annyoing so I ejected when she completely turned her back to me. I don't know why this happened, as I won her friend, and into'd myself to the dude, and she seemed into me at first.

Go upstairs, tease SUPER hot girl on the way up. Her friend cockblocks.

Sit by myself in the middle of bar and work on keeping my cool and not feeling out of place. I open group next to me when a fat chick makes a hilarious comment. Sit back, drink.

Go downstaitrs, go direct on a hot goth chick. "Hey. (grab her arm) your hair looks so fucking cute. I had to tell you." She is flattered. Her friend cockblocks and starts pulling her away from me. I try to intro myself to her and keep talking, but she pulls her away. I blurt out "wow, running from me huh hahahaha"

Couldn't help but notice that nothing stuck. Ride home sucked and I felt lonely. I texted a girl I gamed a few weeks ago. She has been returning texts non-stop!!! I'll try to see if I can get her out, tho she is not that hot. It's the girl whose mom I work with LOL. But she is my only prospect right now.

One thing I tried to do tonight was be really positive, chat to dudes and what not. None wanted to talk to me, or keep any sort of vibe going. I get the feeling that they know what I am up to, just winning them to score their girls, even if I was genuinily joking arond. How do you keep that positivity going? Can't blame them, as if a random dude started talking to me, even if he was cool, I would be unresponsive. I couldn;t last more than an hour there before saying "fuck it" as I had opened all the hot girls and the rest was dudes. Bad ratio.

Also, I noticed that I BLOW at mixed sets. I found myself "hunting" for groups of 2 girls, or trying to find sets of all girls. But it was ALL mixed sets. I learned that to survive, I def need to get better at mixed sets. Winning the dudes/leading the group seems SO HARD and I don't know what to do.

Things I learned:

* I found the best spot in the bar to chill, between upstairs, bar and girls bathroom.

* How to eject without seeming resentful

* A set can go bad not by your fault, but because the SET'S social skills are inferior. When you are the only guy approaching in a room packed with dozens of people who can't go further than "where are you from?" the conversation really is all on your shoulders.

* My approach is a simpe science: Move towards girl, Open mouth.

* When I "create funniness" I feel and look like a total jackass, I need to have mroe fun. Next time I go out, I should force myself to stay till close, even if my sets suck or I don't talk to anyone.

* When I was upstairs, there was a well-dressed black guy (he may have been gay) talking to a group of 4 hot girls. They all seemed enraptured by what he was saying. I think he even made one girl hold his coat while he talked. I observed them for a bit, but couldn't think of a good opener to hook all the girls.

Now, in this scenario where one guy/gay guy is with his hot girl powwow, my opener will be ....walk up, put arms around girls, and say "Hey man! Everything okay here? They're not bothering you or anything??!" playful smile to girls, introduce, proceed.

wohaa cool to hear a new story from you earl...
really didn't felt the same without your posts the last weeks in this forum...

and i like your approach simple science...

two little note's from me

1. why don't you try to befriend a guy like this well dressed guy? Maybe gay, maybe not but probably you could learn something from him

2. to your challange with the dudes: If I read this I get the feeling that you don't like most of them etc. like

and I don't think that this is a good attitude, because I believe that deep down everybody feels such negative or vice versa in other situations positive energy..

my two cents

IAM, you are on point. I have never been one for that "high five broh, how was the game?" male comraderie. Everyother guy there is either competition or an anonymous mass of faces.

Jesse, yeah. I always touch in some way off the opener, and I talk loud enough to piss people off around me. My eye contact is always good, sometimes though, I catch myself leaning in or titlting my head into the girl, just because I am taller to make sure I am zeroing in on her eyes. When this happens, I just take a step back.

One thing could be my vibe. I have gotten to the point where I am not nervous at bars/clubs. But "bar" is not a word I find synonymous with "fun" yet. Even though I am trying to have fun and talk to people, I still take it seriously because I have a hard time with emotional connections and getting people to chase/invest. I'll do things like throw out a curiousity hook "you won't believe what happened...." to gauge a girls response, or hold out my hand and have her take it. They didn't this time around, no bad responses, just no interest.