Most guys today believe that having a little more money would make them happier. But the research shows again and again that after your basic needs are met, extra material wealth has little or no effect on life satisfaction or happiness.
Compared to 1960, Americans today have doubled their spending power, largely because more women have moved into the workplace instead of staying home with the kids. We also have bigger houses, twice as many cars per person, flat screen televisions, microwaves, computers, brand-name athletic shoes, 100 television stations, digital music players.
The accumulation of material goods is at an all-time high, but so is the number of people who feel emptiness.
For instance, people spend more of their free time alone than ever. Nearly 90% of Americans drive to work in their car, most of them alone. At work, most of us work alone in cubicles or we’re so busy or so sheltered by management that we can’t have meaningful human interactions or relationships with the people who work with us. After work, we drive home again, alone. And at home we’re often so tired we just plop down in front of the television, isolated yet again.
For most of us, even though we have all these new fantastic communication technologies that money can buy- like we can be on the other side of the world in an airplane within a few hours, we can instantaneously talk with someone across the country on a cellular telephone- our world as far as our interpersonal relationships has become very small. And all the scientific research shows that after basic needs are met, extra material wealth has little or no effect on life satisfaction or happiness.
For extremely poor people in poor countries, money does make a difference to their happiness. Without any money at all, life can be absolutely miserable. Extra money can mean the difference between eating, seeing the doctor, having a place to sleep, or getting a ride to visit friends.
For everyone else however, the effect is small because money is spent on bigger or better cars, houses, and holidays. A boost in income or possessions can make us happy temporarily, but people soon adapt and begin lusting again. People buy things because they think material goods will give them pleasure, but in fact, according to studies, purchased goods make very little difference in our lives as far as our level of happiness goes. Studies even show that lottery winners are very happy after winning, but that their happiness level reverts back nearly to the original levels after a few weeks.
It sounds counterintuitive. We assume that having more money will mean we can do more things, have more time, be more respected in people’s eyes, be more attractive. So why doesn’t income increase happiness?
Well, at a certain point, making more money doesn’t buy sex, doesn’t buy friends, doesn’t buy leisure time for activities. Most people earning lots of money have no extra leisure time than those making less and are often they’re working LONGER hours on the grinding treadmill to keep up with the Joneses, and end up having no time to spend with families or friends or do the things they love.
You cannot purchase good health and physical fitness- one needs the leisure time to exercise and do physical activities.
You cannot purchase friends- making money in order to “buy” friendship spoils the intimacy of the relationship. People who simply maximize their earnings are liable to lose friendships from neglect.
You cannot purchase sexual intimacy- studies found that men who paid for sex with a prostitute were considerably less happy than men who had sexual relations with women they had won on their own.
Studies also show that men with larger incomes do not have more sex or sexual partners than men with lesser incomes. And working long hours for money does not improve one’s social skills or leisure time, both which are necessary for attracting women.
And while getting a bigger car or television gives people a boost of pleasure and maybe the ooohs and aaahs of friends, the pleasure quickly fades and they’re no happier than before. It’s because people adapt- they get used to the new circumstances of what they have.
People are really seeking nonmaterial goals such as human and social relationships, sex and intimacy, and doing activities where pursuing relationship is the main activity.
So don’t get stuck in the money trap. Make sure that you’re not working 50 or 60 hours a week- keep your leisure time and experience life.
And don’t wish or want or dream about someone else’s. A lot of guys who have money have sacrificed living their life, sacrificed their youth and time and their opportunities to become better men.
Be happy with what you’ve got now. Doesn’t mean you can’t struggle for more, BUT live your life today, don’t over obsess about or live in the future.
Here’s Why You Feel Pressure To Make More Money
Look around you- you are literally drowning in a sea of “seduction” products.
Cars, clothes, magazines, phones, shampoo- these are all marketed as quick-fix seduction products.
We live in a capitalist economy.
Every capitalist wants to sell as many cars, shoes, anti-perspirant, booze, phones, games, or whatever it’s they’re selling as they can. It’s their job to sell as much as possible to maximize their profits.
How do they do it?
“Buy this phone and you’ll look cool (and get laid).”
“Buy this luxury car and you’ll be worthy of women (and get laid).”
“Buy these shoes to feel good about yourself (and get laid).”
“Buy this ab-cruncher and you’ll look hot enough for women (and get laid).”
Most guys believe in these quick-fix solutions, at least on an unconscious level.
Being bombarded with these messages since birth, they’re walking around with gaping holes in their self-confidence and self-worth, thinking that they need to “succeed” in the material world, to run the capitalist rat race to be worthy of women.
So most guys are running around like chickens with their heads cut off to get that next raise from the company boss or get higher grades in school.
Many guys even KNOW about the dating and seduction techniques out there, but purposely put off going out to meet women to “focus on their career”.
What they’re really doing is spending the best years of their life in front of a desk or in front of a machine, their skins turning to the color of the wallpaper.
In the long run, it’s the women in your life that will bring you the most fulfillment and happiness, not the paper bills in your pocket.
And the fact is no matter how much money you accumulate, that little hottie will STILL have more value than you and you’ll STILL have approach anxiety. You STILL won’t have the guts to approach and nothing will have changed.
That’s because the little bit of confidence of a hot car can’t replace the gaping hole in your core self-confidence. You think it will, but the thrill of having the new car wears off quickly and you’ll find it does literally NOTHING to help your game.
And really, you can’t bring your car or all of your money into a club- the club or bar is a great equalizer. Nobody can see your money. No matter how much cash you’ve got, the more sociable, freer guy is going to run circles around you.
And for first time in history, women no longer need a provider to support them. Women are simply not looking for providers like they did 50 years ago. Women can make their own money. And most women have their own jobs and career paths.
Even if you DO drive up to the club in a $30,000 Mercedes, women are increasingly unimpressed. Especially to the hottest women, it looks increasingly “try-hard”.
I don’t need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Women are rather looking for a man that shows unwavering persistence to go for what he wants, sweeps them off their feet, is confident with exactly who he is, and a man who is happy and expressive no matter what situation he’s in.
Look at the guys dancing in the video. They’ll be FAR more attractive than some rich guy who spends all his time working and is nursing a beer in the corner. 😎
That kind of man is far rarer and more exciting than a man who simply works all day and doesn’t even show up for the party.
How does a natural pickup look like?
I ain’t got no Visa
I ain’t got no Red American Express
We can’t go nowhere exotic
It don’t matter ‘cause I’m the one that loves you best
Talk to me girl
This song speaks a truth.
Give me your thoughts…
I truly agree with this post, people can spend tremendous money to impress women or just others in general. Working long hours just to be reach and get women is a miserable purpose in life. However I wouldn’t say having a goal in life to achieve and working for is such a bad thing. I had friends from primary school who were brilliant with girls from a young age but now at their 20s they seem to be unhappy because they are at the bottom of society, one of them is working as a cashier in a supermarket and he doesn’t have any plans for the future.
So I think it’s good to have a purpose in life apart from women.
You can make money… as long as it’s NOT a means to “impress” women. You should focus on your life purpose, and let the money be secondary. 8)
“Her name was Happiness, and she said I didn’t have enough money to make me so”…tales from Vegas
Money simply can’t buy character, decency or respect. These are the things that go much further in winning a woman’s heart than dollars in the bank or big screen tvs on the wall.
It’s always great to see a woman’s perspective on sites like this.
Wow, Roodle you lived a plane flight apart?? Even two compatible people that sounds like a doomed relationship over the long run! With the materialism, sounds like he was trying to prove his worth to you, feelings of inadequacy
I got (unwisely) engaged to a guy who is way more materialistic than I am, and it was horrible. He wanted to spend our scarce time together (we lived a plane flight apart) showing me products in stores that he thought we might like in our future home together. I wanted to spend time with him hiking, or cooking together, or getting to know his friends.
Putting my foot down wouldn’t make him come around, because we truly had different values and priorities. We just plain didn’t belong together.
My feminine two cents are: Live your true values, spending time (and money) on whatever’s honestly important to you, and you will attract a woman whose level of materialism is similar to yours. That will spare you a lot of conflict and pressure.
Yeah John you said it ALL. Money is great but itself cannot garanty happyness in a long run.
In today society Gold digger bitches are everywhere because TV programs and celebrity gossip magazines are teahing them how to behave in this filthy manner.
Nowadays most of these girls out there want to be the next Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. I wish them all the best, btw. This is one the reasons I don’t watch no tv program anymore. There are far more interesting things in the real world that deserve investigating than watching these attention seeker or grabber celebrities. It is poison to the mind.
Well not “most girls” are money grubbers. Fact is, most MEN are money grubbers, slaving away for a little extra money. Most women in fact are pretty cool about it
yeah, like Jesse said its not money that makes people happy. Money only keeps you secure in life, such as providing for your family and yourself and giving charity. you choose how you want to use your money. Woman are materialistic, that doesn’t mean that you have to buy flashy things so a girl likes you, sure she might like your car but that doesn’t mean she likes you. the only girls that will like you for your belongings and money are gold diggers. and i don’t think thats the kind of girl a guy wants. he might but thats his choice.
But i think it has to do with goals in life. Btw nice to see you reppin London my friend lol might not be the UK London but hell who cares.
The advertising is poison– but women aren’t inherently materialistic. Often they meet guys that feed into their materialism, so they think its okay. If you put your foot down, most women will come around.
I’m very glad you’re inging this topic again especially at this particular time when so many of us out here are missing the whole point about how to really live one’s life, enjoy it and be content and happy with what we’ve got.
My best to you Jesse!
— Roland
Thanks Roland, as always
Hey, just read what you wrote, pretty cool.
What i find fascinating is i’m the guy dancing in that video, you have had quite some success because its linking and has 1000+ views on it. Good on you 🙂
Oh cool man, glad to send some traffic your way…
I couldnt see or open ur videos, despite clicking them again and again, the page opens but players button dont work. How can we see or play
Yeah man! I really agree with this. Hey Jesse, nice job posting about the video and the song. This song is just so true when comes to reality. It’s not just all about the money, its about the sincerity of how you feel towards the chick. Women these days maybe a sucker for bad boys, but in the end they’re still looking for the right guy to spend their life with. I hope Keri Hilson is saying that for real, coz I’ma go get her for real!.. lolz
I just admire that chick so much! Such a sucker for her..
Hey Jesse, I know most of your programs(or all of it) really works, can you help me with that?
I really love this posting because the first thing i thought of once I came across it, is a movie I bought and watched yesterday, “OVERBOARD” which features the comedic talents of true-life married couple Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell.
A wealthy, spoiled woman falls off of her yacht and into the arms of a low-class carpenter who picks her up and convinces her she is in fact his wife, and mother to his four brats. Just when she learns to like her life, the tables are turned again.
It’s a very hillariously entertaining flick with some moral depth, because at the end the lady ditches her high profile,classy husband to live with a carpenter.
I think somebody somewhere was right when he said, lack of spiritual value creates degeneration…People are so naive to belive that happiness can be bought…Because true happiness does not depend on material wealth…
And I have to agree with you here, Derek: “In the long run, it’s the women in your life that will bring you the most fulfillment and happiness…”
haha yeah I remember that 😆
hey Jesse, is it you dancing in there? :))
haha nope