Dominating a woman in the bedroom and making her surrender to your sexual power absolves a woman of taking responsibility for the sexual acts or her having to initiate sex.
When a woman sexually surrenders to a dominant man, she’s no longer responsible to anyone, not even to herself. She can completely let go, and allow herself to be 100% taken and consumed by another.
Women want a leader in the bedroom. They want to be led. They want to feel the power of a commanding presence. They want to feel the power of a daring man who goes for what he wants. They want a man whose fearless, who is direct, and who doesn’t always ask for permission.
The modern woman typically has to exercise control and restraint all day long in her job, in school, with her family, organizing a modern life, and being responsible for other people’s actions.
Particularly if she has a high powered job or position of responsibility and she’s used to being in control, to let go and surrender to a strong man who’s in the driver’s seat can send her heart racing with excitement.
If you’re saddled with a lot of responsibility in your day-to-day life, it’s a relief to leave your identity behind for a short while and enjoy the escapism of letting someone else take control of your pleasure.
That’s why being tied up or blindfolded or handcuffed or just physically surrendering in general is tremendously exciting to a woman. It’s scary exciting because she’s always been in control, and giving up that control to be free-floating in wanton surrender is dangerously taboo and forbidden.
It makes her feel more vulnerable to you than she’s ever felt before. After a fantasy of surrender, she’ll feel more bonded and connected with you than anyone else before.
Nothing will make her feel closer to you than for her to open herself up completely, to surrender herself totally to you, and to become as close to you as possible. When a man is so personally and sensually powerful that a woman would reflexively and happily surrender herself to him, on a sexual level she becomes the woman she ever dreamed of being.
That’s precisely why a lot of women stray from their relationships because they need that excitement that only submission to a masculine, dominant man will satisfy.
Women hate giving instructions to the man, telling him what to do, what it is they want. In an affair her lover performs acts her nice guy boyfriend may consider perverted. With her lover, she can become the slut she’s fantasized about, performing sex acts that she wished her nice guy boyfriend would demand of her.
One woman writes,
“Privately, I have always fantasized about wearing a very tight-laced corset and being restricted in some way. It would be marvelous to be subservient to my husband’s demands.
As Christmas is coming up, I decided to buy certain items, and parcel them up as a present to him to give to me. I thought this would then give me the opening to broach the subject of my fantasy.
Christmas morning arrived. After breakfast, relaxing in our dressing gowns, with great excitement we exchanged presents. I opened mine first. It was a set of jewelry, consisting of dangly ear rings, necklace, bracelet and ankle chain.
I urged him to open his present, wondering how he would respond. His face dropped when he saw the contents. Laid out on the table was a pair of handcuffs, a leather dog’s collar with a leash attached and a leather boned corset.
“My god,” he gasped. “You do not expect me to wear these, I hope?”
“No, my darling. They are for you to fit on me.”
“That sounds like a better idea,” he replied. “I like the idea of the corset. But why the collar and leash, and what are the handcuffs for?”
Blushing, I hesitantly explained. “For a long time, I have had this dream that I would like to be laced up tightly in a corset by you whilst being restricted, hence the collar and handcuffs. I know it seems silly for the woman to suggest this. In stories I have read it’s always the man who imposes these ideas. There. I have at last told you my fantasy.”
Another woman writes,
“My fantasies run along the lines of being dominated, forced and abused – never nastily, but forcefully. I had a very repressed sexual childhood and was told that good girls just didn’t ‘do it’. As soon as I was an adult I tried all sorts. I’m quite independent, somewhat cuddly in shape, and I like a strong man – not a wimp! I always have to take the lead in everyday life, so I look for the opposite in sex.”
To act out a Dominance and Surrender scenario, take your woman to a sex shop and buy a blindfold and handcuffs.
Buy them with her, so that when it’s time to use them, she puts up no resistance. If she didn’t protest them then, she won’t protest them in the moment.
Start sex, and when she’s in a highly suggestible and Blissnotic state, simply break out the bondage gear, cuff her wrists and blindfold her.
Take her and bend her over your knee and spank her. Tell her, “You’ve been a bad, bad girl.”
Being the dominant, it’s really important that you physically lead her to where you want her to go, and lead her bent over your lap.
Then put her into a vulnerable position face down on the bed on her stomach. Physically guide her into the position.
Being in this vulnerable position, she surrenders herself completely to you because you are in a position to do anything to her.
Once you have her in a vulnerable position tell her, “Oh, you’ve been bad. I’ll have to punish you.” Then you can spank her and fuck her hard and roughly.
Keep repeating, “You’ve been a bad, bad girl. You have to punished by your strong man, you bad girl.”
Tell her, “Surrender yourself to me baby. Who’s your master baby? Tell me who is your master.”
“Your pussy belongs to me now. Your pussy exists so that I can fuck it.”
When she’s blindfolded she can’t see anything. Her other senses will try to compensate, but most of all her sense of touch will become more sensitive.
Every touch of yours she’ll feel that much more intensely.
A lot of women are with guys who are simply too nice and too careful in the bedroom. These guys have lost their animal instincts to make their girlfriends perform sex acts for their own selfish pleasure. A survey of female sexual fantasies show that women like their men to be potent, virile and sexually dominant. Shy or sexually submissive men were actively disliked.
So to pull this off, you don’t want to be in the mentality of one of those super nice gooey guys.
Above all, you need to have an attitude and frame of sexual dominance. Sexual dominance means to fuck a woman in a way which communicates to her that it happens on your terms and that you’re the boss.
You have to get into the mindset that you’re the bad boy and that she’s the submissive girl. You’re not particularly concerned about her pleasure. You’re the dominant. She’s the submissive. Her pleasure comes from surrendering herself to you, her strong and powerful man, surrendering herself to a leader.
And through that total surrender she’ll feel incredibly bonded to you afterward.
nothing like being with a submissive chick
I am new at this Dom/Sub relationship. I love being submissive to my Master. I need some tips.
I am a mature lady who has finally found my Dom. I am new at this (submissive) love it and want to submit in every way to my Master. I need some tips.
How do you get your man to do this? I have explained for years, 18 to be exact, about my fantasies and rarely, ! Maybe three times, had he even tried and only once was how it should be done. I have given him all info, guides, how to,, own numerous items, etc. Is it time to just leave?
Yea but if he doesn’t go down much or at all I’ll get resentful. You should be in control but not neglect her pleasure. I like really dominant guys but if they don’t care about my pleasure enough I’ll go for the less dominant guys who will go down on me.
I am a bisexual tomboy and is very dominating in bed. currently iam with an extremely feminine and girly girl who is submissive beyond expectation. every time I take the dominant role and I really like it when she gets hurt, also to mention she wants to get hurt. She begs me to use the most painful penetration toys on her and handcuffs and blindfolds are very common. I read all of Jesse’s articles and it does work. All the trick works on my gf.
I am a tomboy and bisexual and very dominating when with women and f submissive with men. when it comes to women I only choose the extremely girly and feminine type.
I always take the dom role during the course and yeah, I like it when she shouts and gets hurt
Same logic leads to rape. Weird.
I am a sexually dominant lesbian…
My submissive is never happier than when I am commanding her. She tells me that she is disappointed when other partners ask her to direct them. And that their orders always sound like questions. As a Domme, I feel I am freeing my partner. Like a medic on a battlefield, I will remove all that is harmful to her – leaving only the raw woman.
I’m a sub girl in a sexual relationship…we explore very dirty and kinky situations…its a huuuge turn on for me. One of the reasons I like being the sub girl..is the power that comes with it. Knowing that he wants me..to please me on a level where I have no control over the situation. Its all up to him..his hunger..his desire..his control over me. As well being in control of my own desires..by letting go. This is a great bonding experience as well..its a deeper relationship with 100% trust. Having a partner that you can be free sexually ..knowing anything goes (limits/safewords discussed beforehand) provides a surreal experience. There is an extreme amount of respect in this type of sexual relationship. On a side note…to the commentators who are disgusted with this and prefer a very vanilla sexual relationship. I feel so bad for you that you cant let go and open your mind. If this topic disgusts you.. Why were you reading about this subject in the first place? This is a mutual relationship that isn’t anyone’s business except yours and your partners. It isn’t dirty and for slutty trash…quite the contrary..its a very intellectual act favoured by more intelligent people. Good luck with your missionary position and your fake orgasms.
Woooooooww. Certainly, some women do enjoy this, but to suggest all do? Sexist much?
I am a sexually submissive woman and completely agree with most of the above…except the part where the man says ‘Your a bad girl’, over and over again. This kind of talk would make me think I was in bed with a father figure, (and no I have not suffered any of that kind of sexual abuse). Its all about the man being in control of my body not my mind.
Perfect. And it’s so true: it’ll make you closer to someone than you’ve ever been before. So loved.
U R sick
Cool Website! I’m happy for you you had the guts to say it out loud. Like I say again Good job
Thanks for all the tips! I really appreciated it! My boyfriend is also one of those really nice guys. One day, I left the site out on purpose and I think he got the picture 😎
That night, he just slammed me against the wall and made the best love EVER. He didn’t let me be on top and I was turned on SOO much by him being powerful
Thanks Jesse you’re AMAZING! I could definitely get used to this 😆
I hope people have also considered the opposite…that women like to be the dominant ones!
I have fun during submission, but I have even more fun when we switch it up. Everything you wrote about submissive women feeling relaxed, trusting, at ease…the same could be said for men. And dominant women and men both love the power trip, I’m sure!
I have always wanted a very dominant man to take me over in bed, my husband though is one of those really nice guys in and out of bed. So that was a big problem sometimes. I’ve bought several toys for us to try to use, but he never wants to dominate me, handcuffs, blindfolds, etc. So one day we both get home early from work and I came out and told him, I wanted him to dominate me right here and now. He thought it was way to kinky for him, so I explained that him dominating me would be the best sex we would both have. He finally agreed to it and now we’ve had the best sex life since we were married, he’s become the man he was 5 years ago. Thanks for all the advice and tips!
to be perfectly honest i’ve want this same type of thing for awhile but, my guy is very nice guy, gentlemen like and very bored to be honest. i’ve want to bring this up to him for awhile but i don’t want to freak him out.
Many years I have dreamed of having a man be like with me. It took me a long time to find him but I finally did and Omg its the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. I have even tried telling him no in a cute but sexy way when he wanted me to do something for him. That just made him pull my hair harder look me in the eyes and tell me in that strong commanding sexy voice “dont tell me no” it drives me wild for him to be this way. Since we started being like this we have such a deeper more wonderful bond than before and enjoy each other in and out of the bed even more than before 🙂
👿 😈 thamk you
“After a fantasy of surrender, she’ll feel more bonded and connected with you than anyone else before.”
Extremely interesting and so true. After my boyfriend took me by surprise by saying “on your knees” during sex, in an tongue-in-cheek but still very dominant, alpha male way, I was intrigued and very turned on. The next session I instigated a more SM approach, telling him that I wanted to be dominated by him, that I wanted him to spank me, pull my hair, be rough with me, he liked it very much, it excited him.
After some more sessions like that he told me it was his secret fantasy to dominate women during sex, but in a fun way, always thinking about her pleasure as well. He has had some girlfriends before but it never developed in that direction, he never even tried, always had just vanilla-sex, like we also had before. That can also be great, but SM can be amazing.
So now we are some more sessions on, and he bought some attributes that are exiting and we are geting into it some more… Our bond has grown stronger; he kisses me during the sex so much, so sexy, it is amazing… I feel adored as never before it turns me on so much… Love it.
Greetings from a Dutch girl.
thanks for sharing Dutch Girl 😛
😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉
Wow!! What can I say, thanks Jesse. I’ve always wanted to be dominated by a man who wasn’t afraid to upset or offend me, but who would also listen to me if I was dead set against something, or at least lead me into it gently. I am 47 years old and hopefully I have finally found somebody who will do that, although he is also new to the BDSM scene.
We will learn together. Thanks for showing the way.
it’s great that you found someone to do your fantasies for you 8)
got
I hope that you participated in this site and thank you
In darkness the light was plunged, but my sister keeps smiling. Long shall darkness desire me. On wings of light my dream flies amongst times that have been and will be.
So you tell me the truth of flesh.
And I believe your truth.
Can earthworm feel the touch of clouds?
As dolphins don’t dig tunnels, my light shall stay with it’s sister.
So the kiss of warm earth will be stranger to me, yet the touch of the cloud will share it’s joy.
Jesse, a dove’s wings cannot swim.
Your heart will hear the message.
Be well.
Great stuff, Jesse, and bless you for having the balls to say it out loud!
I think a lot of guys are intimidated by even EXPLORING Dominance, because they they think its too weird, too kinky, or even abusive.
Its been my experience that different women may enjoy different levels of this kind of play. But just having the knowledge is often sufficient to rachet up your attractiveness quotient to women!
And Jesse, you are RIGHT ON about the bonding. There’s a lot oftrust involved in this kind of play, and its an intense experience. Many women will truly feel “owned” once they’ve experience this power exchange.
Keep the great stuff coming Jesse!
(Long-time follower since Seduction Science 3)
Thanks Rogue for the tips
Bro You are the king of pick up!!! respect 😈
i wont it