99% of guys come into pickup from the frame: “I want to be LIKED by girls.”
What they do is they putter around for YEARS being a “nice guy” trying to be liked by girls.
Yes, they learn theory, tricks, and tactics, but ultimately they remain “nice guys”.
……..They don’t interrupt conversations at the bar and take them over.
……..They don’t approach because they think the girl might have a boyfriend and they don’t want to get in the way.
……..They don’t look girl’s body up and down and get their creep on because they want to be a “gentleman”.
……..They don’t pull the girl in and grab her ass to get their faces slapped.
……..They use routines to say “the right things” to make the girl laugh, but not offend her or challenge her.
When you want to get better with girls, it’s quite an understandable impulse to want to be “Liked”.
But you know the best way to be LIKED by everyone? Kiss ass. Supplicate. Make your voice quiet and accommodating. Don’t take up space. Be helpful. Say funny things to make the girls laugh. Tell people what you think they want to hear. Mold your opinions to theirs. And NEVER show your sexual intentions lest you creep someone out.
That’s exactly how you get LIKED by everyone. But it doesn’t get you LAID.
If you want to get LAID, you have to let go of being liked all the time and start getting in people’s faces and start stepping on toes.
To get laid, you’re going to need to become an I-come-first, troublemaking Rake to overturn the natural order, with a smile.
That means leering at girls and openly undressing her with your eyes as you talk to them.
That means telling girls upfront that they’re hot, even if the guy standing next to her could be her boyfriend.
That means loudly interrupting a group at a bar and taking over the conversation.
That means pushing yourself on an interested girl, even is her cock-blocking friends are screaming at you and giving you the finger.
Game and pickup and having sexual abundance is NOT about being liked. It’s about making girls wet between the legs because of your reckless persistence and unapologetic sexuality, even if that means pissing off half the people on the planet.
If you’re in this to be LIKED you’re in the wrong field of study.
If you’re relying on routines to be LIKED by the girls, you’re coming from a bad place.
If you’re opening timidly and hiding your intentions to ensure that you’re LIKED, you’re going to fail.
And MOST guys who come into this game will learn a little theory and then putter around for YEARS… and YEARS… trying to make girls LIKE them.
And they NEVER get over their approach anxiety. Because that need to be liked is *THE* source of your approach anxiety.
Only when you decide to drop all the “I hope this make her like me” phony, not-you gimmicks and instead begin to openly and unapologetically get your CREEP ON with girls, only then will the approach anxiety fall away and girls begin REACTING to you as a sexual caveman and Rake who goes for what he wants.
Reckless Game teaches you just that, to Recklessly take action, to Recklessly persist, and to Recklessly express your core desires as a man, regardless of being “liked”.
So remember, this is not about being LIKED, this is about getting LAID and keep in mind the difference.
Leave a comment below and let me know your experience!
17 thoughts on “Being ‘Liked’ By Girls Doesn’t Get You Laid!… And Why Guys Fail In Dating”
I agree with this article and soon after reading Double Your Dating back in 2004 I adopted a less caring attitude. I later refined that attitude when I discovered there was more out there than David DeAngelo.
HOWEVER – and this is a big however, choosing to behave in a badboy way and putting my “creep on” and not trying to be liked by every girl I met hasn’t proven effective for me. As a matter of fact when approaching women with my friends we usually play the good cop/bad cop role as me being the bad cop. I’ve noticed a pattern that the girls prefer my friend who’s the nice guy (good cop) over me. Happens ALL the time.
I think if the girl doesn’t have a strong attraction to you FIRST, coming off slightly arrogant will hurt you or at least gets you dismissed as a potential lover.
This is so interesting and thanks for the website Jesse. I keep reading page after page because the content seems to be triggering a realisation after another.
I’m always wanting to be liked, i think it seems from having severe ADHD as a child and still quite strong now, people as a result would get annoyed with me and i would be always be approval seeking to become popular. It is clear to me that this is what i’m doing wit my staff and how its making me a weaker leader as a result. So it is clear to see this mentality has the same ripple effect in all corners of life. .I’m 25 now, i have now left going to the gym now replaced this with practising social development i.e. meditation (transcendental and midfulness (john kabat zinns work) – both of which i’ve found very VERY useful in getting out my head and becoming more present in the moment and becoming more at one with myself. Is there anything else you would suggest in journey to self fulfilment?
Tomorrow is a new day, where practising and not giving a fuck becomes a reality. I would love to come on one of your weekends, for me something like this has such large personal investment value.
Could you send me some info on some weekends near the UK. I notice that you don’t have any events in the UK. I’d be willing to help if you ever thought about it in the future.
I’ve been on many websites based around this theme and have found this one to be the most concise and real taking. All the others content seems to be built around how they are different and their usp is this or that. I’m yet to feel this vibe from here and this is why i shall be staying on here for the foreseeable future.
P.s. I never EVER comment on anything on the web and for me to actually take the time and write this, is quite something. I hope my sharing this can inspire others and allow them to relate and achieve their goals sooner rather than later,
It is a messed up country when you have to be rude to get girls. Is much better to go to third world countries and find dependent type nice girls then become an ass to lay women you would never want to marry to begin with.
The nice guys should remain nice because the goal is to get good girls like fuddy duddy types and not bitches
The nice guy mindset can creep up on you if you don’t exercise your reflective skills properly. I had a breakup at the start of the year and ,honestly, I felt like shit for a while. I’d really put my balls and heart on the line with that one. But I picked myself up and my social life had been effortless and tons of fun up until the last month or so when everything stopped giving me the same buzz. I’d fell into the trap of mixing pleasure and friendship. Sometimes, if your having a shit couple of weeks and you’ve got some crap going on, you might just need a friend, and so you approach woman in a charming, but non-dominating fashion. There’s a possibility you’re looking for a ready made girlfriend, and believe it or not, you go out ‘just looking for someone to talk to’. I guarantee the following though; Lets say you find that girl and you have a great connection – your probably going to want to rip her clothes off and go crazy as soon as you’ve stopped talking. But you’ve been such a gent, that unless she is in the exact same state as you, you’ve probably just made a really good friend and I highly doubt that your going to get lucky. Use your reflective skills after a bad night or a bad few weeks to figure out what you were looking for from your interactions at the time in question. For e.g., were you looking to have fun, have a laugh with the lads, find someone to connect with or whatever else it may have been. Then ask yourself what you really wanted from those interactions. I’d bet that the two don’t match up because if they did, there would be no problem at all.
I have a question: when you say
“They don’t interrupt conversations at the bar and take them over.
……..They don’t look girl’s body up and down and get their creep on because they want to be a “gentleman”.
……..They don’t pull the girl in and grab her ass to get their faces slapped.”
Isn’t this taking the “reckless game” too far? because although expressing our desires is the only way to get laid, especially in clubs, i don’t understand the need to be disrespectful and not caring about others around the girl, by the way, doesn’t contradict the mystery method in which we should befriend the group first? And also, how do you apply this to the daytime in a place where the girl can feel the social pressure?
Alex, most guys completely hide their intent, so this post is to get you out of that mindset. You’re far better than at the other extreme than to hide it.
It’s not necessary to befriend her friends first – that’s hiding your intent. You can do it that way. But you can also go directly after the target, and THEN befriend the friends. You come across as MUCH more alpha that way.
During the day, you need intent too. You may not show it so intensely, but you DO need to FEEL it to have that drive to go get her.
Nice article Jesse. I wish I would of read this article when I was 11 or 12 years old it would of saved me tons of disappointment and loneliness…. 😡
I noticed that when I approach women directly and when I’m up front with them I feel less of a pussy and my approach anxiety diminishes massively. Fuck it…. that’s why I love Charles Barkley, Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, Gary Coleman, Billy Bob Thornton, Howard Stern, and other loud mouth upfront men.
I think American culture and religion in someways has a lot to play in this. I was raised is a very strick ultra conservetive Christian house hold with 4 boys and no girls. Men are made to feel guilty for wanting to have sexual desires for women. Men were made to feel guilty for looking at a womens body. Men are taught to be ultra respectful to women and pay for everything because that’s what gentleman are suppost to do. Men are taught to be super nice to women because women are soooo presious. Bull Shit….. 😈
We see it all in the media where the beta loser always wins over the girls from the evil Alpha Jerk. (ie: The movie: The nice guy). But here’s the reality, when you program this type of guilt into a mans mind at an early age he loses that hunter caveman instinct of going after when he wants and his confidence is destroyed at an early age. It’s like taming a Lion at an early age, the lion loses his wildness.
I say F*#K what your parents think, what your friends think, what your female co-workers think, and what beautiful women even think. Just be upfront. Because here’s the truth most women put on a front when you first approach them, it’s called a”BITCH SHIELD” and she’s not being authentic. So the point is why do you have to put on a FAKE “Comedian Shield.” I just try to connect with women when I approach, screw making them laugh. I’ll let them know within the first 30 seconds that they are hot as hell and that I was staring their bodies up and down for the last 10 minutes. And the truth is women want men to stair at their bodies, they want the attention, don’t let the media and women fool you in to thinking that your a pervert. It’s natural and any women how hates being checked out by other men has serious mental issues….. 😛
Great article. Tommy..Guys who seek approval or want to be “liked” come across as needy, which can be unattractive. A guy who is indifferent to the outcome and says what he wants and takes what he wants is attractive.
EXACTLY !! 😀
Dear Jesse, Thanks for the awesome artikels.I’ve read some on the site, and the one you have sent ..I like. You’re so bad, aou’re going to make me lose first! B Around, E.
thanks Jesse. I neeeded that… we guys get lost in the “LIKE”, thanks bro
Sandee no prob 😛
I hear you Jesse,
A lot of what you say makes perfect sense to me and I see myself as that guy who wants to be liked and because of that, I have difficulty approaching.
I was in Poland last week and there are so many beautiful women there. I tried approaching, but they won’t even make eye contact or slow down their walk…
However, later when I was more than a little drunk, I made some “successful” approaches, I had the girls hooked and interested, but then I lost them… one girl threw her lighter at me, one kicked me, a couple of them stormed away in a huff… to tell you the truth, I don’t remember what I did, either to initially gain their interest or why I pissed them off…
But this isn’t the first time I’ve had this kind of experience, so, I gotta ask you, if not being liked doesn’t get you laid, how does being a jerk get you laid any more often… seems like so-called “bad boys” have something else about them that women find irresistible, that a nice guy acting bad just doesn’t possess…
What I’m saying is that guys when they start out, are so obsessed with being “liked” by the girls that they never step up, or they’re extremely timid and conservative in their actions. They don’t touch the girl enough or lead enough.
From what you’re saying, I can’t diagnose what is going wrong – not enough details. Girls kicking and throwing lighters at you is not normal, so something is certainly off.