How To Dominate Your Wife Or Girlfriend For Freaky, Hot Sex – The Complete Guide!

Women want a sexually dominant man; a woman is most excited and fulfilled when she can completely surrender herself to a sexually powerful man. The secret desire of every woman is that the man directs her in the bedroom, though generally she will do nothing to help you in that.

Do you fuck your girlfriend or wife like an animal on the bed, in the kitchen, on the table, in the shower, in parks, on the beach? Are you showing her your masculine aggression?

Women want their man insatiable for them. Women want sex where you can throw yourself into it with abandon, unfettered by fears or worries.

A woman doesn’t fantasize about getting sweet talked to. Research shows that women’s fantasies are crude, course and rough. Women fantasize about getting fucked.

Here’s what women want you to be in the bedroom – to be an animal, a pure animal. To forget all humanity and let out the raw beast inside of you.

Sex with her Bedroom Bull has moaning, gasping breathing, laughing, sweat, words, taste, wet, and raw.

Sex with her Bedroom Bull is on the walls, tables, chairs, sofas, carpets, stairways, elevators.

The Bedroom Bull is a sexual savage, the ravisher who carries her to the bed, takes what he wants from her, and indulges in his every sexual need and dominates her.

The Bull lifts her off the ground, pulls her by the back of her hair, talks sexy to her, and tells her exactly what to do.

The Bull never questions, it’s only action.

We’re talking real caveman sex, “hit her over the head with your club” and take her back to your cave and ravish her sex.

One woman told me once,

“I like it really rough. I want a guy to throw me around, push me to the ground and slap me. But I don’t want to have to tell him to do it. And I don’t want him to ask me nicely. I just want him to DO it.”

A wife or girlfriend wants a sexually expressive and dominant man that she knows is stronger than she is, stronger emotionally and stronger physically than she is, and stands up for himself, and stands up to her. A woman is most excited and fulfilled when she can completely surrender herself to a sexually powerful man – and not have to ask him for it.

The key is to show no hesitation, to show no restraint, to let yourself go, to show that you cannot control yourself, to care nothing for what she might think or her reaction.

The Bull plays by his own rules, and doesn’t offer safe or mild pleasures approved by Oprah or Dr. Phil. He touches those repressed desires in a woman that cry out for liberation. He’s a breath of fresh air in a cautious world.

Consider yourself a reality engineer. You lead and create her sexual reality. And with the right man, a woman can allow herself to let go and surrender herself completely to his will.

And because a wife or girlfriend is led and “done to” by you, she doesn’t have to feel any shame about the pleasure she’s experiencing.

Being swept away by your desire sweeps away any need for her to be an initiator to let her passions out. She can become wantonly sexual and leave out any thoughts of negative consequences. With a Bedroom Bull, she can freely enjoy sexual pleasure without feeling guilty or inhibited.

You only need to leave the “boy” behind you and become a real sexually dominant man who doesn’t react or seek reactions.

The Bedroom Bull within is right there, just below the surface. Everything you need to be sexually dominant and a leader already lies within you. Deep down in your core, as a man, you know how to act, you know what to say, you know when to escalate.

Having sexual dominance is not so much learning something new, but unlearning limiting beliefs. You have to shrug off stifling social conditioning and realign with your true self, your natural self, not the false mask that society has told you to be.

The “Wall Thump!” Dominant Sex Move To ‘Rape’ and Ravish A Woman

Let’s flesh out one of these domination moves a little. Take for instance, the Wall Thump! Move.

Grab your wife or girlfriend by her butt, and lift her up so that her legs wrap around your waist, and you push her up against the wall to make a large THUD! BANG! Noise.

So you see her there, you look at her with raw sexual aggression, you picture yourself forcefully making love to her, you walk up to her, push her back toward the wall, pick her up by the butt and legs in a swooping motion and THUD! Hit her up against the wall and make out with her OR put your lips close to hers and hold it there before pulling away to tease her.

You are physically dominating over the woman, overpowering her with your masculine strength. She’s up in your arms, off her feet, she has to surrender to your physical dominance and trust you. The loud THUMP noise on the wall adds an edge of risk and danger and bad boy. It also conveys to a woman that you take what you want, that you go for what you want. You are leading the woman, you aren’t asking. Your masculine dominant Bull allows the woman to relax into her feminine role of surrender.

You can follow the move by pulling on the back of her hair, so that her heads goes back and exposes the neck to you, placing her into a submissive position of surrender. Pulling her hair releases sexual-enhancing hormones into her bloodstream. And then speak sexy into her ear, “You smell so nice…” and smell her neck, and then tell her, “I’m going to rip all the clothes right off your body, baby.”

Again, you are physically LEADING, showing masculine aggression, dominance, that you go for what you want, that you don’t take no for an answer. That even if she’s not in the mood for sex, you don’t care, you’ll MAKE her in the mood for sex.

You’re not even doing it for her pleasure or to please her – no, you’re an animal out for blood. That you smash her body with raw abandon is what gives a woman her pleasure, not your technical proficiency.

Expressing your sexual aggression without permission in this way is a GIFT you bring to the woman, because feeling that masculinity makes a woman feel feminine, desired, ecstatic and fulfilled. It will be her greatest joy getting fucked dirty by a Bull and she’ll remember it for always.

If you want a woman to respect you, if you want a woman to follow you as an authority, if you want a woman to look up to you with awe and pleasure, you need to give her not just good sex, but you have to give her fantastic sex – treat her like a wicked Mistress and be the Bedroom Bull.

How To Make A Woman Your ‘High End Escort’ Fantasy

Here’s another way to dominate your wife or girlfriend totally and completely.

Have your wife or girlfriend dress in sexy lingerie and heels and build her up to an excited state saying stuff like, “Yeah, you’re such a slut.  You’re such a whore.  You love sucking dick.  You love it rough don’t you,” and so on.  Stack multiple verbal bits upon one another.

Then have her physically stand up out of the bed.  Tell her, pointing to the bedroom door, “Now what I want you to do, is walk out that door and close it.  Then I want you to reenter, and when you reenter you will now be a prostitute, an escort who has sex with men for money.”

“However, you don’t just do it for the money, you’re really horny for sex because you’re a slut.  And when you reenter I’m going to take these napkins and pay you.  And then I’m going to fuck you like the slut you are and you’ll be extremely excited by me.”

Give her an alter-ego name.  Tell her, “And when you come through that door you will have a new escort name.  The name will be hot and sexy.  What’s your new escort name?”

She’ll give you a fantasy name like “Valentina”.

Allow her to choose her own alter-ego name.  As long as the woman feels she has choice in her alter-ego name, she won’t put up resistance.  She won’t resist because after all, it’s a name she gave to herself.

Tell her,

“When you close the door you will leave your identity behind and when you come back in you will be Valentina.”

By having a new name, she’s no longer Susan or Jennifer or Jessica… she’s now a Mindy, a Candy, or Cindy.

Names are not superficial phenomena.  Naming is the social birth of a human being.  In fact, our sense of identity changes with the names that we’re called.  When someone calls out “Hey you”, our reaction is different than when someone uses our first name.

Names inform our identity.  They carry anchors that deeply define who we are.  They are our imprint, our personal stamp.  So when a woman takes a new name for herself, that’s an extremely powerful environmental cue and identity change.

Next, have her leave the room and reenter.  By having her make an entrance, it’s like a rebirth.  By having her make an entrance, it allows her to leave her old self at the door.

Greet her like you would an escort.  Ask her what her alter-ego name is.

Tell her you’ll give her $20 and pay her with some napkins or whatever you have lying around.

Now proceed to fuck her like a paid escort.  Fondle her roughly.  Pull down her panties but keep the rest of her lingerie and high heels on.  Then bend her over and fuck her doggy-style standing up.

As you fuck her and dominate her, talk sexy to her.  Ask about her profession.  Talking to a woman in her role reinforces her new identity.

Tell her,

“Yeah, Valentina, you’re such a whore.  How many guys have you fucked today?  You like being fucked by a lots of guys don’t you… it’s exciting for you isn’t it.  You’re such a slut and you like having lots of guys dicks don’t you.  So what do you do it for, the money or just the sex?”

Be sure to refer to your wife or girlfriend by alter-ego new name.  Then kiss her like she’s a dirty whore, nasty style, and ravish her.  If you want her to get into the role, you too have to get into the role.

And next time, whenever you want her to become a prostitute or extreme slut again, simply call her be her alter-ego name and she’ll fall back into the new role even more easily and quickly than before!

161 thoughts on “How To Dominate Your Wife Or Girlfriend For Freaky, Hot Sex – The Complete Guide!”

  1. Everybody likes it rough, just wish that more people would own it. I personally don’t need a guy to ravage me so that I don’t feel guilty. I”m ready willing and able to take what he has to give, and return it. He will meet his match.

  2. haha right. we do this too, but she will insist on me paying her first. It will make her feel like a whore and like she can;t go back. And i will excuse myself from any guilty feelings toward this whore

  3. First of all, most of the articles on here are fantastic and have revealed many facets of my sexual mind that I never knew were there. The dominant role has never come into play until recently when I started seeing a new partner. She was actually the one that piqued my interest after telling me that she is a bit of a submissive and masochist. So, long story short, I started watching videos, reading stories, and researching what it is to be a dom. After a few days i thought I had a pretty good understanding, a strong comfort for just about anything and felt I could really satisfy her. Then I talked some more with her, my starting ideas turned out to be childs play for her. I want to dominate her but if she is bored with it, I dont see it working so well. My question to the community is, how can a new guy like me keep pace with an experienced sub so she may enjoy it and want more?

  4. I love a coach like u and those women who comments abt rough sex bcoz i really loves to be with them whole night to pleasure them and see women satisfide in this rough level of sexual desire needs bt it seems incomplete with deepthrout to those women in comments..complete it with deepthrout or facefuck bcoz as for me it is a complete movie of beauty and the beast with that sexy deepthrout bcoz im training my life partner now to feel free just as a porno actress..

  5. I finally grew tired of the slow romantic “love making” with my wife. We would occasionally get kinky but resort back to typical married with a small child sex. Enough was enough, I grabbed her gently, kissed her firmly and squeezed her ass hard. She bit my lip playfully, then harder. That is when I forced her up against the wall, she moaned and bit my lip again, this time I gently, yet firmly slapped her cheek. I took over in the bedroom right then and there.
    She is always ready for rough sex now. She gets her ass and tits slapped, her arms forced behind her and her hair is my leash. Her ass is in the air and ready, I use my body to open hers. She cums harder and more times in the shorter sessions than she ever did during long loving nights of the past. When we are done I hold her and caress her and she talks and giggles and kisses me for a good hour. On a side note, our time not in the bedroom is better as well. She is more relaxed and much more fun to be with, almost more willing to do anything I want, ie: go places, eat out, etc. almost as if the bedroom has set a new willing tone.

    Gentlemen, be considerate, but be a “man” and you may be surprised. Women, you want it? Make him know it. Sometimes, society has just made us men soo sensitive and feminized that we need to be reminded of what we are.

  6. My wife is more like a nun. I don’t know if any of these good ideas would work on her!! She never refuses, but it’s more like a duty?? i’ve asked for different positions, but she only wants the missionary position, doesn’t want to change..

  7. I think your advice could really upset some sexually submissive women. Slamming a woman against a wall (spinal damage) fucking like bull. I laughed so hard i near choked on my own tongue. Don’t get me wrong some women love it, but i would think you were a real dick, a total amateur. My advice to any man is ask and make suggestions if she is shy. If she’s not into BDSM and you are, leave the girl alone.

  8. I choke my girlfriend a lot. I do most of all of this already. I love grabbing her by her neck and throwing her down on the bed or floor and having my way with her

  9. This is my husband to a ‘t’, he gets that this is what we live for, he calls anything but this ‘vanilla’, plain and predictable. I want to know he can take me whenever, whenever. Great article!

  10. Great article Jesse and completely agree 100%. It’s funny cause I do this with my girlfriend. She’ll go on and on about how hot the times where I manhandle her and treat her like a little slut, instead of the times where I take my time, give her great oral, give her other orgasms, etc. No…it’s the time where I bend her over, pull her hair, fuck her for 5 minutes, force her on her knees and make her drink my cum…that drives her sexually crazy afterwards.

  11. My fantasy is really dirty. Initially I thought I shouldn’t be posting it here but after reading people’s comment I decided to share it with you guys.
    Here is it.
    I am in a party with 12 other girls. They are all hot and sexy, wearing revealing cloths and showing as much skin as possible. I am awkward and I wearing jeans and a plain shirt. My man walks in and he is the only man in the party. All other girls are trying to seduce him by sexy provocative gesture. But he comes to me and orderes me to change my cloth and wear a sexy lacy lingerie. I obey him. Then he pull me in him arm and command me undress him. Then he orderes me to bend over. I obey his order. Then he comes to me and ask ‘ you are a real slut. Why didn’t you wearing this slutty lingerie before my arrival? Now you need to be spanked for that.’ Then he pushes the lower part of my lingerie, expose my ass and spank me several times. All other girls in the room get so aroused by this that they start masturbating and using their dildos and vibrators. Then he rips off that tiny lingerie and expose me completely and commands me to masturbate in front of him. I do so.When I am super wet by masturbating he asks me bend over and go all doggy and fucks me real hard. I am a hardcore fan of bareback so I picture that he comes all over vagina when I stand it spills down my thighs.

    1. Hi
      nice fantasy

      reading towars the end of your post actually reminds me of myslf … a young dude 22years ive been a year now with my partner shes 43 …yes you read right I said 43 im not immature or any sort close to that I really do know how to keep a onversation with her or anyone regardless of age ( have been with other women around the same age as her ) the sex is good we have been at it from day one and I read and watch alot videos on better and different sex styles . We enjoy rough sex and in her 40s I think shes more horny than me

  12. Jesse
    I have to say thank you for this! I have finally met a man that is this way with me. All my life I have men that were lazy lovers. I gave so much. I don’t think everyone will agree because of emotional issues in their lives. That’s fine what matters is this post you wrote is helping many. I don’t want to be without passion any longer. I was raised Catholic and sex was supposed to be for procreation. I love, love love feeling the passion and control in the bedroom and being my mans whore in the bedroom and a lady in public makes us feel like we have an incredible secret and turns us on throughout the day. Sexy as hell!!

  13. I think most women, myself included, will say that a man’s man is what’s sexy. A guy that knows what he wants and knows how to take over in the bedroom. However — it works best when the relationship is solid and fun outside of the bedroom. The woman can’t feel worthless (like the one poster on this page) outside the bedroom because then, this kind of sex, is very demeaning. For me, I’m a very dominant person in our household. I’m home with the kids all day, I homeschool them. I do the bills, I clean, I cook, I plan our outings, etc. I’m in charge of our household and I want my husband to be more in charge in our bedroom because quite simply, I need that balance. I don’t get off on the idea of being the whore, though. I had an ex-boyfriend that used to try that and that I just didn’t like much, so every woman is different and as long as you know your wife/gf and treat her well outside the room, she will definitely want an aggressive man in the bed and you’ll know what she’s getting off on by simply reading her body.

  14. This is just way too generalizing… I mean, I am into the whole BDSM thing, but doing this without talking properly together sounds like rape to me. But as long as the girl says its fine, then it is. I am a sub, but call me a whore and I will seriously make you eat your teeth.

  15. This has nothing to do with rape. He means don’t hesitate because you’re afraid of her rejecting you. If you take her in your arms, slam her against a wall, kiss her with passion, pull her hair and run your tongue along her jugular, and she still says no? Stop. You can tell when a woman says no and means yes, and when a woman says no and means no.

  16. Hi Jesse and readers.

    It is 3:06 am and I can’t sleep as my wife of 10 years and friend of 20 years just informed me she has always wanted me to be dominant to her, but was always too shy to ask. For the first time ever she whispered in my ear at the dinner table that she wana me to fuck her tonight and I become incredibly flustered. I learned tonight agree our impulsive night of sex that This has been idling up in her forever and, now in her mid-30s, she is ready to be dominated by me. Needless to say, I was taken back a bit, a little confused, somewhat scared, and very misguided on what I thought she liked. I knew she always enjoyed things a little rough now and then during sex, based on her body language and heightened sexual ‘tone’, but now I am wonding if I have been simply to passive in the bedroom. Which is why I am up writing right now at 3:06 am….I can’t sleep and frankly I feel a little lost into what to do next. Since she wants me to be dominating, I know I can’t simply come out and ask her ‘is this ok’ or ‘do you like this’. I need to take charge.

    I think the safe word is important and we discussed this briefly before going to bed, but never decided on a word. I think I will establish this before I dominate her. I like the idea of her and I creating a new identity for dominating, but not so sure how she will respond. Overall, I must admit the idea of equating these Nonconsenual actions to rape when being dominating never passed through my mind, especially when she has asked me to dominate her. I know that she firmly believes that ‘no means no’, but I will need to follow her cues and tones when I dominate her moving forward.

    She has asked me to tie her up in the future and that she does not want to dominate me in any way. So I am going to have to take charge. This is a little unnerving given we have had sex pretty much the same way for 10 years. I certainly have no fears and I am up for anything, but I can tell this will be a lot of trial and error. She stated to me she remains shy around me sexually and that this is something she needs to work on, so I know this will be a new frontier for both of us. I want to keep everything about our marriage intact and I am 100 percent on board with doing this as long as it doesn’t derail what we have built over these last 10 years. There is a bit of concern I have that changing our attitudes and tones in the bedroom could open other doors of sexual promiscuity. Is it normal to have this fear and should I be concerns about this? Could being dominated by me result in her seeking our greater satisfaction and dominating by more men? The role playing scene you outlined made me think of this…..maybe I am not thinking clearly at 3 in the morning.

    Overall, I am looking forward to it and I would welcome any additional suggestions for a first time dominator. Wish me luck! A hoping this will elevate our marriage to the next level in our 30s and beyond….,

    Please recommend any more sites that I can visit and read up on this more. I want to be everything my wife wants in the bedroom (and now kitchen, elevator, bathroom, etc) so you feedback is essential for me to take this journey.

    Good night


    1. Steve,

      My husband and I are in a parallel situation to yours. For me, wanting him to be more dominant is about a higher level of trust, pleasure, and abandon. After 10 years of marriage, I can say that I have been pleased sexually, yet am craving more. What works for us right now, is me clearly communicating what makes me hot, showing him how it pleases me, and then positively reinforcing it later (e.g., I really loved when you… or a text during work the next day telling him so). Very quickly, he has woven these dominant actions into his mannerisms in the bedroom, and I notice that his confidence has risen and he is exploring more on his own. For him, I seem his ascertaining his needs more, which brings me great pleasure as well. You’ll be very surprised how responsive your wife will become once you introduce a few dominant behaviors. In the beginning, taking the time to communicate and assimilate into new roles is essential. Don’t second guess why she wants this, or what it will lead to. Live. Go with your instincts, as it’s really just getting back to basics:)

  17. Hi all, I’ve been a dominant man for a long time and I’ve turned every “normal” girl/woman I’ve been seeing into a submissive and I’m not kidding every one of them says I’ve changed their lives! Don’t get the wrong idea I love and respect women and treat them with the respect they deserve and show them love affection etc. but then my darker side comes out and I’ll tie them up spank whipp cane gag them talk dirty spit in their face ( def ask about the spitting before hand!) not for everyone but a big humiliation turn on for others. I advertise myself as a master looking for submissive women to train and I’ve not been short of takers and they love it time and time again coming back for more. These are women who are intelligent good jobs even dominant in their work place but love a man to take charge and punish them. Password for safety is a must and makes them feel safe and like another said you must stop at that point. I don’t get any pleasure in hurting women if they don’t enjoy it I don’t either. Role playing games help both of you discover your limits and such great fun. Sit down and talk about what you both like if your a couple and go for it. If your a man not sure if this will work trust me it does and if your in love with the woman who wants you to treat her rough get on with it it’s what she wants lol! Buy those handcuffs and the bondage kit it’s soooo worth it. I could never go back to a boring normal sex life nor could my slaves lol. Good luck all and play safe!

  18. So I’m curious to those women who don’t like to be dominated. Is it a feminism or age thing? I’m a strong, fit,43 yr old woman who plays these sex games with her husband several times a week. I can’t get enough. It’s the only time i can forget everything and let go. My husband is great at this, he doesn’t need to read this article. I just looked up this stuff so i could see if we were normal lol. Are women too much control freaks to enjoy this? Too young? Have men been too emasculated by our society to feel this type of sex is acceptable or are they just too much of a pussy? I was married for 16 yrs before and dated a lot after my divorce and only FINALLY found my husband who could fulfill my fantasies 5 yrs ago, and it just keeps on getting better

    1. Oddly enough, there are people who just aren’t into being dominated. Are you interested in dominating your husband? Is he interested in submitting to you? It doesn’t have to do with age or feminism, it’s a preference in the same way some people dislike certain foods. Neither one is right or wrong, it’s just how they are. Lots of hardcore kinksters consider kink a sexuality, and consider it to be something they don’t have any say in – they were born that way. I myself had submissive fantasies from a young age, and I know people (women as well as men) who had dominant or sadistic fantasies from a very young age as well.

  19. I wish I could find a guy like this.. Christian Grey type but not emotionally fckd up like him though.. Lol 😉 i haven’t experienced these but I hope I will..

    1. Try checking out the local BDSM social scene, going to classes, demos, munches, etc. I’m sure you’ll find someone.

  20. i wish i could find someone who would do that to me. I love shit like that it makes things fun, just saying, i am a bisexual woman who likes to be a dom to my girl and a sub to my man. but right now i dont have a girl and im looking who can help me out.!!!

  21. honestly im 17 (jail-bate and proud of it haha) but i found this article to be quite true. i love the rough stuff and my boyfriend does it so perfectly. i sent him this website so he can maybe get some more tips. though i will say i dont want this rough sex all the time but 99% of the time wouldnt be bad, right?;) you know what a lot of women secretly want. though most want the crazy wild rough sex because they can brag of their man’s masculinity and power in the bedroom. i know i cant keep our sex life a secret anymore;)
    thanks for posting this wonderful atricle and hopefully giving him some more ideas=)

  22. I am a woman…. And I would just like to say this article is my sexual fantasy!!! I’m always telling my boyfriend I want to be thrown around, have my hair pulled, be pinned down, role play, and overall just be dominated! I have a pretty dominate personality and in the bed room is when I feel voulnerable… Sex is my weakness, so to be dominated is one of my biggest turn ons. I want to see a mans masculinity, feel his strength, and know that he can take care of me and punish me at the same time. I just sent this link to my boyfriend and he plans on experimenting with it tomorrow 😉 great advice

  23. Hi all.. Me and my bf have been together since nov last yr and iv told him that I like to be dominated even sometimes out of the bedroom.. We’ve tryed some things and we’ve both enjoyed it… We’re just getting into the lifestyle and I know more about it them him because of what iv read… He’s started to do his research on bdsm but I just can’t help think I want it to be more intense… I think it might take more time for him to understand what I want ect.. We do chat about it all the time and are very open with each other.. But sometimes I think I’m hopeing for more then what he can give/ understands.. Hopefully time will chance things… And we will both get to the place we defo want to be.. Even if the bdsm lifestyle doesn’t work out then ill still love him with everything I have as I ain’t with him for the sex I’m with him for the person he is the sex is just a bonus… Thanks for reading xx

  24. I am about twelve months into an amazing relationship with a beautiful woman. Right from the start she expressed her desires of being dominated totally by a strong man. We have a very fulfilling sex life. Sometimes it can be very tender, sensual sex. Other times I will pull over in the car on a long drive and we do it in the back seat. We also engage in very rough submission type sex with plenty of physical punishment being handed out by myself to her. In all these moments, I am the dominant and the pleasure is received by the two of us. I have found that the most important aspect of all of this is to openly talk about each others sexual desires. It does take a certain mindset to look at the woman you love, call her a slut and slap her across the face. If thats not her, or your, thing then its hopless to even try it. We dont limit ourselves to a particular ‘brand’ of sex. Instead we let the moment decide and, by being open with one another, our sex life is fantastic.

      1. Pretty sure that wasn’t the main point of this post. I’m pretty sure the main point was that communication is number one.

  25. No offense to you love, but at the same time, you need to be SAFE about the way you go about this. I mean, I love getting fucked as hard as I can take it, and I love it rough, but you need to speak to your partner to know their limits. I cannot count how many times I’ve mentioned in passing to guys I’m about to sleep with how I like getting choked when I’m sucking his cock. And almost every single time they take it upon themselves to basically break my windpipe, because they don’t really understand what I meant, because we didn’t have the talk.
    We women are delicate creatures. We like it rough and hard, but he do break easy. So take 5 minutes beforehand or anytime, and simply talk.

    1. Thanks for the common sense. For some reason, people need to be reminded of this frequently on this site. Perhaps a warning or bulletin is in order.

  26. Hi Jesse, I literally just tried this with my wife. Initially I made a move to kiss her and she seemed totally uninterested, saying she was tired… This made me have doubts but I decided to persist, so I pushed her against the wall with my hand against her throat and kissed her again. We ended up in bed and I was very insistant following your instructions (apart from the hair pulling). Arms above the head – telling her what to do and telling her how hot she was. She actually thanked me afterwards for making her feel so attractive and said I should do it again. Thanks for the advice.

  27. It’s different for different women. My wife wants to be my possession and, as such, she wants me to take her whenever I want – quite literally. She is not allowed to refuse. I once had a girlfriend who used to ask me to ‘rape’ her yet others have been more romantic, coy and gentle. You cannot accuse me of not knowing that I should have been more caveman … they did not want it that way. My wife simply does not like romance or romantic gestures: she wants to be loved (she is) taken by force (she is) and, quite literally, fucked into the mattress or floor etc and as soon as I have cum then that’s it. However this has had other benefits: giving herself to me has taken away her responsibility and freed her mind …

  28. This is so one sided it sad. I agree with you women do want to be dominated but on the flip side they also want control. You make such a one sided argument and it’s so sad because it doesn’t show the real picture. It’s a give and take but I guess you have some daddy issues.

    1. I agree. Assuming every woman secretly wants to be dominated is such a horrible horrible assumption. There’s something called “communication,” you should use that to determine if your girl is interested first and foremost.

  29. I’m sorry, but that Valentina bullshit made me laugh hysterically, NOT get turned on.. To me that is unbelievably stupid. “Yeah, Valentina, you’re such a whore, oh yeah, slut bitch suck my dick ohhhh.” That makes me think that the man probably has the intelligence of a Neanderthal, and not just the sexual tendencies of one. Also, you seem to be pretty confident that a man doesn’t have to focus on pleasing his girl because she will get off on the “experience of being dominated alone” or something like that. I call bullshit on that. I suppose that kind of sex isn’t for me. I prefer equality to role-playing rape, sorry. But apparently I am the exception…? Which is beyond me.

      1. Yeah, sure, if you’re into that. But after you orgasm, think about it again and decide if that’s how you want to be treated 24/7. I think not. But I agree, it can be hot if that’s something that pushes your buttons, but equality in a relationship is still number one, even if the woman is submissive to the man she should be the one choosing to give her submission as a gift, he shouldn’t assume that he deserves it just cause he considers himself dominant.

  30. What a load of horseshit. You can be dominant without being an asshole, you can play rough without being abusive. This is a recipe for getting dumped by an emotionally healthy woman or for being saddled with a dysfunctional broken one. Grow the fuck up.

      1. No, he/she probably just read your ad for your new soul mate thing. If you cut out the first and last sentence you’d see that he/she makes good points. By presenting absolute male dominance as the end-all-be-all of female fantasy, and not taking no for an answer, you’re encouraging guys to stop caring about what girls think. And yet also saying girls should care a lot about what guys think. You’re putting male dominance on a pedestal without considering the whole consent aspect or even communication about mutual likes and dislikes sexually.

  31. Ok so I’m a guy and I’ve met this girl – Jesse and anyone, in particular ladies, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. I’m a 27 yr old male, I’m slim, but strong for my size. I love it when I can lift a girl up etc. up against the wall in the shower, you know…
    I’m not sure where to start or what I’m asking here….but basically I’ve started seeing a girl, we really like each other….and we’ve spoken a lot about sex, about what we’d love each other to do e.g. I was telling her today about what I was imagining her/us doing when I last masturbated and she was loving it. I am a self-conscious guy, I am sensitive…and I’ve never been more terrified of sleeping with someone in my life. I don’t know why – because firstly it’s important to say that I have always had a good to amazing sex life with girls who become very attached very quickly because I cross masculinity with pure passion and I am sensitive to her needs – like there’s a time and a place for dominating your woman, the caveman does not go down well every time as a handful have said in the comments.
    In the past I have had girls who like simple, unadventurous but passionate romantic sex, but I have also had some where over time we built a really freaky sexual partnership and I knew to my core that they were hooked on having sex with me, as was I them, and I don’t mean that arrogantly. Also I once had a girlfriend who I referred to as having the power to unlock some beast in me I didn’t know existed…we got crazy. I was so confident and life was amazing.

    But for some reason, with this new girl I am terrified and I have no idea why. She is very insecure, she’s also crapping herself, and only really tries it on when we’re hammered and by that point I’m no use with my little guy haha. I buzz off confidence, I feel like she does too. I just feel IMMENSE pressure to be this amazing lay and it’s really killing it for me. It’s stupid though because in the past when it’s been a while since I’ve had sex, I have got a bit jittery and then the next time I’ve had sex or got a new girlfriend the sex has been amazing and I always think ‘see, you had nothing to be worried about!’

    But this time, I don’t know….I feel like something’s wrong with me. Like that animal ran away or like I won’t match up. I want to dominate her, she wants me to dominate her, but I just don’t think I can do that during our first time (which could still be bloody amazing without that neanderthal stuff) and I am basically shit scared I have one shot to blow her mind.

    I came on here looking for advice…I know I can please a woman. We ‘kind of’ had sex the other night and it was great but it got cut short. It gave me confidence that when we do eventually do it, we’ll love it. But then I come on here and I’m thinking there’s no way I can do all that dominant stuff right off the bat.

    I don’t even know what I’m asking but I know inside me somewhere is an absolute FREAKY whore of a man who has sex with passion and authority but pleases his woman as the biggest priority – as you can tell, I am all about her being happy. I don’t know if I should just do what I do, or try and live out some of her more dominant stuff first. All thoughts welcome, apologies for length.

  32. I love to do all of this but my gf is very sensitive and not interested in sex at all.

    Is there any one looking for………….

  33. I loved the first part, the animal Neanderthal fuck fest. Luckily for me, that’s exactly what I’m getting. Table, wall, thumps and all!!! However, the biggest turn on, is that I allow him to do that And I love to play along with it, even cheer for him, bruises and all.
    The second part though, nah. It’s a different feel for a man to physically ravish me that having a man ordering me around. However, I am receptive to having things done to me, but getting me to do things requires tact and your advise just doesn’t have it.
    Lastly, there needs to be variation, reversal of power cause otherwise it gets boring, fast.

    1. Good observation on variation. The guy should always keep the woman guessing… so that there’s a slight element of surprise or fear of the unknown. Even swapping it out with tender sex, or different roleplay sex

  34. I can’t belive some people want to feel ‘raped’.
    except from that it sounds great 8)
    sorry for my bad english by the way 😳

    1. it’s a fantasy. It’s about putting up barriers for a man to knock down before having you. But the intent is letting him win. There needs to be a better word for it, cause “rape” just doesn’t do it.

      1. Consensual nonconsent. It’s when you have a safe word (“no” and “stop” aren’t safe words, you’d do better with a green-means-go, yellow-means-back-off red-means-stop system), you set boundaries for what isn’t allowed, and you give INFORMED consent. It helps if you check in on safety, as well.

  35. I loved this! I want a guy to take complete control of me. Push me up against a wall, throw me to the ground, slap me around, and choke me alil. I love submissing to a guys every whim. Having a guy tie me up and callme his slut/whore gets me so hot 🙂 and i can’t help but say id love to f_ck jesse :mrgreen:

  36. CoCo "my prostitue name"

    SO i must say, me and my man have a good sex life. i often find myself masturbating after sex when he falls asleep,( enough said). i guess u can say im bored because i do come multiple times when we have sex but its never enough. we are high school sweethearts and i am his only one. (we are 22 n 23) i have multiple partners before and during our relationship. I can completely agree with this article. this is what i want from my amn now hopefully he can actually apply this

  37. For my life walk…and as 46-yr old sexual woman, highly educated woman, I’d say this is very accurate info…I realized it accidentally by watching /noticing what was turning me on visually …yeS…I’d say listen to this guy’s advice & I can’t help but wanna f:(? him.

  38. I’ve just started doing this type of sex for about a year now and every single woman I have had sex with in the past year has enjoyed it. All of them. I didn’t start doing this because of an article either(although this is a good article). I was introduced to this new rough sex by a woman on a drunk night. And I swear they love it idk why. But they do, this article speaks the truth it really does I promise. Maybe not all women want to be slapped around and what not but they do want to be dominated and they do want an agressive man who takes control and sometimes that can involve a lot of passion.

    1. “Maybe not all women want to be slapped around and what not but they do want to be dominated and they do want an agressive man”
      That is false. All want someone who is respectful in daily life. Only some want to be dominated. Please consider the existence of dominant women and women with low libidos.

  39. Obviously not all women are going to want this so you need to have some idea of how your girl likes things. This type of relationship is based on trust so it’s not something that can be done without really knowing each other.

    To be honest, I wish my guy was more like that. I am having the hardest time getting him to be more like this. Any woman that has a guy like this I think is lucky. One of the main trick to being a good dominant is being able to read what she likes. By her surrendering the guy also has to realize that means that he needs to pay attention to visual cues, maybe even a safe word. Role play is fun.

  40. I loved this. As the other wives/girlfriend I e-mailed this to my hubby. Just asked if he was interested at all. I’ve wanted this kind of sexual relationship for a long time but didn’t know how to put it into words without sounding extremely perverse. Thanks so much. He wants to try this. To excited to get starter!

  41. what if you have a boyfreind and you love him dearly but you are not a submissive women and he forces himself on you until you give in. somewhere along the way he brainwashes you. how can you resist without leaving him

    1. Hi Anna; difficult situation, I was never in that situation so I can’t really say what would help… I would say talk with him about it. Maybe experiment just a little, explore what you like, to the point that still feels comfortable for you. But always respect your boundaries. And switch roles as well, if you feel like it. And if you’re definately not into SM, tell him and respect your boundaries.

      I myself am a role switcher; love to be submissive, but on other times dominant, or just vanilla. My boyfriend is dominant, but in a very loving, giving way. Extremely sexy, I must say. What I also found sexy is when he’s in a dominant mood, but I am not in a submissive mood, and we *struggle* a bit, role over the bed, I love that; to feel his muscles, his strength, and the dopamine that comes with excercising, and then submit to him, in a mild way, fun, tongue-in-cheek so to say. I just love his *Alpha male* role in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom, he’s a very loving man, we have a great relationship.

      One more comment about the article: I don’t understand couples that go the way of the escort/whore thing. It’s soooo degrading for both partners. I think it’s dangerous, for the relationship.

    2. He is an abusive ass and the best way to deal is for you to leave or take back control. Since you don’t want to leave, I say flip him over and fuck him in the ass. He might resist at first but eventually he’ll cave. I was in the exact situation as you are right now, many years ago, and believe me- game changer.

    3. I’d say that if you aren’t interested in that sort of lifestyle, then move on. If he’s as dominant as you say, then it is probably very important to him and will cause resentment (possibly on both sides) and a rift in your relationship.

  42. I wish!! my boy friend would treat me like this. he’s a great bed mate but he’s too nice too asking…. I want hike to take. to make me his women… I found this site on his phone history so hopefully he listens

  43. I love my man’s aggressive dominant nature. Totally turns me on. But, we also have a good balance; although were well matched sexually, we also respect and adore each other…and laugh a lot. He’s a romantic big man with a dominant nature and I’ve never said no to him sexually. Just being in the room with him gets me aroused. I am blessed. 🙂

  44. I just wanted to throw some curves in here. Sometimes, it is the woman who wants to be dominant and it is just as hot, if not hotter. Not ALL women want to be the submissive sex slut. Sometimes, the way women fantasize is the opposite – they want to be the dominatrix and have their guy service them sexually. They still want a total animal… just that the animal is theirs to OWN.

      1. Ugh, guys are such hypocrites. “I’m a totally dominant male. What? You want to make me do things? That’s sexy!”
        Unfortunately, the majority of people with this attitude are really thinking “oh that’s cute, her trying to dominate me, I’ll play along for now” and aren’t really respecting the woman as the dominant.

  45. Dear Jesse, you certainly know a lot about how the female mind works. I need your help!!! I am trying to get my husband of ten years to do this kind of stuff in the bedroom. He would back up every time I send a suggestive (sometimes dirty) tex message or show him articles from ur website to give him an idea of what I want ( which is described to the dot in some of your articles! Lol. I don’t know what else to try so I don’t end up turning him off. Help!

  46. I loved this!!
    I love being dominated and feeling submissive to my Bedroom Bull
    I love being tied up,,paddled and choked!! All while he is in my ear harshly telling me what he wants and how much of a whore I am.
    It’s also really fun bringing someone else in,,another women for him to dominate,,letting me watch and teas her,,so much fun!!

  47. What you are talking about here is “Service topping.”
    You’re doing unto your woman– because that’s what she wants. And getting her off gets you off too– not to mention you’re getting yourself off.
    It only works when it works. The best thing you can do for yourself and your girlfriend is encourage her to talk– not about her feelings but about the physical desires. Women are not taught by society to seperate emotions from activities, yanno? Men can help with that.

  48. this is so naughty i am so going to leave this page up for my husband to see when he gets home i just hope he takes the hint. Jesse you are brilliant just pure brilliant i love this artical very much. it inspires the mind and helps open the mind to unexplored sex between couples. i thank you for sharing this with the world.

  49. Female sexuality is far more complex than this. This is my fantasy SOMETIMES, in which case it will work 100%. However, sensuality is also high priority at other times, in which case the caveman approach would go down like a lead balloon. And I would probably end up with cystitis and/or thrush because that’s the unfortunate reality of fucking a vagina that really isn’t up for the cup. Hardly sexy. If men truly believe this approach is a guaranteed winner every time, and that they should therefore adopt this method from here on in, then they are displaying an acute lack of maturity when it comes to female sexuality. It is a complex, often raw, often sensual dance between two people being completely open with each other. My husband can read me, can read my needs. He knows when to be caveman, when to be sensual. This article over simplifies female desire. It is a shame.

      1. You should probably put in a disclaimer about that, because right now all of your articles are basically saying that all women want to submit to dominant men 100% of the time, especially when they won’t admit it. Focus on opening up trusting communication, not on assuming resistance is societal shame.

  50. I LOVED reading this. I’m a female in my late 20’s and I think he hit the spot on everything, no pun intended 😀

    For the chick who thinks it’s disgusting, you just haven’t “let go” yet, won’t know until you try it, lol.

    I’m sending this to my hubby right now and hopefully later we’ll try it out. Thanks!

  51. Hi Jesse! Though I don’t always agree with everything in your website, I will say that the tips in this article, as a woman, turn me on. I must clarify, though, that I’m into BDSM as a sub, and I have a few points to add – because my desires aren’t necessarily shared by every woman.

    Guys, when having rough sex it’s extremely important to make sure your girlfriend is okay with you slapping her around. I love it, but other women might not. You definitely don’t want to hurt her, and you need to make sure the experience is safe for both of you – then again, you also don’t want to bog down the sexual experience with a bunch of boring “is this okay?” “What if I do you like this, do you like that?”

    So I’d suggest setting up a safe word and talking to your girl beforehand, in a non-sexual setting. Make sure she’s into rough sex first, because if she isn’t and you surprise her with it, you could hurt her physically and emotionally. And the safe word allows her to stop rough play at any time if she feels uncomfortable – but that means you have to stop. Again, you don’t want to hurt her. I love rough sex, but if a guy doesn’t stop at a safe word it can be a very unpleasant experience for me, and you want to make it a good experience for your girl.

    I’m really not trying to undermine anything in your article, Jesse. I love being a naughty servant in the bedroom (but I like being treated as an equal/human being outside of the bedroom), and I just want to make sure people make their rough/BDSM experiences safe.

      1. Jesse, I feel like you should probably be doing research on this kind of thing before you write an article advocating for male dominance so strongly. I mean, it is seduction “science,” it would be nice if you had safety concerns in mind.

  52. I don’t like all of these suggestions but I can relate to some of them.

    Me and My girlfriend play with toys and use bondage gear and always both of us orgasm to the extreme when we play this way and I do control her when I’m the one being dominant and doing what I like to her prone bound body, she enjoys the deprevation of sight being blind folded too so she can’t see what I’m going to do next.

    But equally I enjoy my girlfriend controlling me and me being submissive and I get off on being at her mercy, so it works both ways in my opinion.

    My girlfriend is bi-curious too, so were looking for a woman (not a man) to join us in a 3some now, probably with toys and bondage gear too, any takers?

    1. Bitchin’ switchin’! If you’re on Fet feel free to hit me up, I’m Justjenni. Keep in mind, I am a fan of the Return to Sender forum, to anyone who decides to message me pretending to be a Twue Dom and not reading my profile.

  53. Hi, I’m from Portugal. Iam a guy 34 years old.
    I respect the author text (Jesse) ,And I hope the readers also respect my comment.. ok? 🙂
    sorry my incorrect english.

    Yes many times these tips really work, I had some girlfriends in the past, they admited, they fantacised about being “raped” and extreme sex also.
    I think we must realize the woman’s fantasies too, not only her realizing our fantasies.
    for example with one girlfriend, I tied her with ropes, and strings, and fucked her, and it’s important to be persuasive, sometimes not with acts but with WORDS.
    I allways convinced her to have anal sex or to record amateur movie, for example.
    it could be like a “negotiation”, if we realize their fantasies, she realizes our fantasies too.

    not all womans are psychologic identical, some girls like to be fuked hard, but other girls like sometimes the “romantic way”.

    I have some friends, “bad boys” who are mothards, or bodybuilding buys, they are like the “cave man#” personality, but they admit to me, sometimes theyr girlfriends don’t want sex.
    they may insist, and try to force her, the rough way, with the hands on her boobs and pussy, but the girls sometimes don’t want sex.
    for example if there was a discussion a few days before, .

    sometimes woman desire to have sex, but they continue saying «no I don’t want», ,and if we insist , maybe they want it, only to test if we insist the bad way.
    girls are allways making psychological tests to her boyfriends.

    this text is good, but its also important to be romantic, and respectfull, listen the girl and talking to her, going to the cinema with her, and loving her honestly.
    and in the sexual activity, being dominant, macho-man, offcourse.

  54. Lol @ Toni, poor girl needs a orgasm….

    This article is awesome and I’m leaving it open for my man to read and I as a woman could not have expressed my wants any better 🙂

  55. Soooo… I e-mailed this to my man… lol! Most guys don’t get chick signals very well, just straight up say you want it that way…. oooorrr be a pussy like me and e-mail it… try bullet points, guys don’t like long rambling e-mails! Then that leads to conversation (you still might have to be the one to bring it up) or even better just right to what we wanted in the first place. I LOVE how this article says don’t hesitate… SERIOUSLY, nothing less sexy than a 30 something year old man asking can I kiss you… Barf!

    1. I emailed this to my husband! Ha! Then I had to put my 4 year old back to bed.

      Now he’s asleep on the couch. Boo.

  56. Very mixed reviews here, obviously! personally I love it when my man spanks me and pins me down and calls me his little whore and tells me…I think that’s enough for you to hear about my sex life! 🙂 anyway, i’m a feminist but sometimes i like just having him ravish me. I know who he is, I love him to bits and i find it exciting!

    1. But as a feminist, I can assume you wouldn’t like just any guy assuming he can do this to you because it’s your “submissive role as a woman?” Isn’t it more your “submissive role as your lover?”

  57. what about the girlfriends who dying to fucked just like this.. How should I go about getting my boyfriend to be more dominant in bed?

    I have tried to suggest things, and occasionally he will, but he’s usually so If i ask him to ‘tell him what he wants me to do to him/for him’, I’m lucky to get more than a ‘I don’t know’ or ‘whatever you want’ as a response.

  58. Laudrup's Socks


    Seems to me like you’re an extremely inexperienced pervert.

    Kind Regards

    The Man from Delmontay

    1. There are several books out there about domination, Jesse. Like, for instance, SM 101 or Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns. Try reading those, especially the parts about consent, safety, and negotiation, and then revisit the awful advice you’re giving.

      1. This is a joke right? Did he mention S&M, bondage or anything similar in this post? You are projecting right now. There is nothing wrong with his advice and the extremely light amount of control being exchanged can easily be taken back if the person is clearly not interested in the game. Seriously? Safety concerns when asking your women to pretend to act like a whore… grow up.

  59. I see there isnt alot of women replying to your bullshit “advice”. MY boyfriend treats me like that, and ONLY like that…..and its a drag. I can’t even get OFF anymore, because he doesn’t give a shit about what i need to cum. He gets everything HE wants, and I’m supposed to “service” those needs. I could care less if he goes elsewhere, or finds some whore to pay to get it. I want a man who is sexy, confident, experienced, and sensual. Not some fucking NEANDERTHAL who is nothing but an egotistical taker. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners, not just you and your cock. Let me guess…’re between twenty and thirty, right? Figgers. You have NO idea what pleases a woman, you loser. I wouldn’t wipe my cum soaked towel on you.

    1. Sounds like you’re projecting your boyfriend onto me. Calling me a “loser” and so on, I imagine you’re really saying that to your boyfriend, but find it easier to take it out anonymously against people you don’t know over the Internet. Good job.

      If you hate your boyfriend so much, why don’t you just leave him. Then again, nevermind, I’m not interested in playing your therapist.

      1. Well, to be fair, you DID say in your advice that the man should not care about what the woman wants and don’t do it for her pleasure. “You’re not even doing it for her pleasure or to please her – no, you’re an animal out for blood”. I don’t know how many women you’ve known but most women, while I do admit many want to be dominated, usually want to feel that a man IS considering her feelings and doing it as much for her pleasure as his own. No woman likes a man who is a pig in bed.

      2. What she’s saying is that when it comes to sex, it takes two to tango. Rough sex may be a turn on to you, but it isn’t neccesarily to a woman.

        The post above and many of your other posts are MALE fantasies, focused on the man’s pleasure only. If you want to make youe GF addicted to having sex with you, you need to make it a mutually enjoyable experience.

        That is, you have to pay attention to what she likes and what turns her on. Some women love to be dominated, others aren’t into the Whole BDSM-thing.

        Playing Alpha male and ignoring you partners needs, or worse, her protests, may feel great to you, but it won’t make you an addictive lover. In fact you are kind of an asshole. You cannot base reality on what you read in novels or see in porn. Women are human beings, not walking blow up Dolls.

    2. I agree. There is no reason for you to take your hatred from your boyfriend out on other men. I came to this website to learn more that I could do for my wife and let me tell you, it is amazing. I could understand that being to over dominant in and out of the bedroom could be a problem. But deep down woman like men giving them commands. There is a reason he is your boyfriend and not your husband. Dump the looser and move onto a real man that can satisfy all your needs!

    3. Jesse ignore this poster. She’s obviously just in an unhappy relationship and wants to take it out on someone. I have never been happier since my boyfriend discovered your website. You really understand women and our basic needs/desires. Since my boyfriend took control and turned into a dominant bedroom bull I have never been so satisfied. Thanks for your website…you rock!

    4. So? You are with a guy who doesn’t care for your feelings? Sounds like a personal problem to me. I would love if my boyfriend did this. Actually sent him I link to this website. My man can be sexy and dominating. Also what cum soaked towel you just said he doesn’t make you cum?

    5. Yeah, what the hell? You have issues, go vent them somewhere else. Here we go, another person making me feel wrong for liking something a little rougher.

    6. As a man I say to you, “Well said” I can understand the dominant roleplaying, but it is just that…roleplaying, and underneath there is a caring man for his woman.

  60. I did the escort dom to my gf and she was so frazzled she couldnt move. I bound her eyes , mouth, hands and feet. Yes I treated her rough and spanked her for disobeying even a movement order. You can have alot of fun with it and give her more than she would ever expect, highly suggested!

    1. I think when a man takes charge it’s sexy. It makes me want him more, but then he doesn’t give me anything… He just lets it boil up inside me. …It’s great, in a weird sexual way…M boyfriend does this stuff, and honestly, i don’t know what people have against it. Bondage and dominance is sexy.

    2. Great job. I got heated just reading it, for that thank you. I have just begun my experiments with domination/submission sex. My partner does not play the role to well. He laughs and stops when I am hurt. It does hurt, but I like it. So guys, play your role well. Don’t laugh, and dirty talk is much appreciated.

      1. Naughty Shiva

        I love my man being very very dominate for me i love men that control me and take demands and i love being a great sub. 😉

    3. Cortnie (also female)

      I love love love this!! yes I can understand some women not being interested in their Boyfriend or husband dominating them. Some women like to be in control fully or treated completely like a dainty flower. I, on the other hand, love this advice. I showed my husband and I am really hoping he takes the advice…it really is a need. I need him to be dominate, I’m so dominate in every other aspect of our relationship, that it really turns me on when he takes over. I like being treated badly…he still cares about me and makes sure to get me off too, but I want him at the same time to not care about me and just, well, be mean to me, be rough…demand that as his wife I am his and therefore it is his right to take from me. It really turns me on to here him call me his. It makes me feel safe and lets me know I’ll always be his.

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