Now, you need to begin thinking in terms of social value. Take for instance, the question of opening women “directly” or “indirectly”.
Opening directly is where you make your sexual interest known to the girl upfront, right away. For example, in a direct approach you might walk up to a woman and look right into her eyes and tell her how sexy she is.
Opening indirectly is where you talk or interact with the girl, but keep your sexual interest disguised, at least initially. In an indirect approach, you might ask a woman her opinion on something to open her.
With an understanding of social value, you should be able to deduce the advantages and disadvantages of both methods.
Let’s say you’re an average or below-average looking guy and you walk alone into a club. Across the room, you see this gorgeous woman who could sleep with any guy she wanted. In fact, all the other guys look at her hoping she’ll make eye contact with them. She’s a Perfect 10.
What if you made a DIRECT approach on this Perfect 10?
What if, as an average looking guy, and with no social proof from other girls, you walked up to her. You tell her what a nice energy she has. Or you take her hands and without saying a word start massaging them. Or you tell her a clichéd pick-up line like, “So, is it hot in here or is it just you?” in a playful way.
Even if your delivery is smooth, you have to remember something very important:
When you walk into a club, your social status is a 6.
HER social status is a 10.
A 10 will not sleep with a 6.
Sorry, I hate to say that, but it’s true.
When you directly approach a Perfect 10 and immediately begin displaying interest in her, you have to keep in mind that she knows nothing about you. You might as well be any other random guy in the club, who all want to sleep with her – and there’s not enough of her to go around. She has unlimited choice. Why would she want to sleep with you over anyone else?
In such a case, you might get a smile and a thank you for a compliment, but the direct approach alone does little to increase your social value to her.
Of course a direct approach CAN work… under different circumstances.
Let’s say that you’re incredibly good looking and well-dressed – better looking and well-dressed than 99% of the other guys in the club. You’re good looking enough that other women look at you to admire your chiseled features and rock-hard body.
When you directly approach a woman, right away she can visually SEE how great-looking you are. She’s NOTICED that other women look at you, giving you implicit social proof from the other women. Add to that you come in with very strong body language like strong eye contact, a solid smile, relaxed shoulders, and a sexy swagger.
In this case, you’re social status is more like a 9 than a 6.
Direct approaches on super-beautiful women may work for you then, because even before you’ve opened your mouth she’s already decided you have as much value as she does. The two of you have equal value.
In such a circumstance, you could tell the beautiful woman ANYTHING using ANY kind of approach and you’ll still be successful.
When else will direct approaches work?
Let’s say you’re an average-looking guy and you’re social value is an average 6 when you walk into the club. You’re normal in other words. You spot a girl who is not outright ugly, but not a head turner either – maybe a 6 or a 7 out of 10.
You walk up to her and do a direct approach. She’s surprised that any guy would be so direct with her or pay her that kind of attention.
In this case, a direct approach can work because you’re approaching a girl with the same social status as you. A 6 or a 7 will sleep with a 6 in other words.
You might even land an 8 once in a while with direct approaches if you’re nonverbal skills are good and if you play the numbers.
But what if you’re one of the millions of guys with average looks but wants to get with really HOT women, the 9s and the Perfect 10s?
Direct approaches generally won’t work on 9s and 10s.
9s and 10s have too much social value to respond to an average guy who has otherwise demonstrated little or no value to them.
When you a compliment or do a direct opener on a 10, she knows she already has won you. They may smile and say thank you to a compliment, but otherwise they’ll attempt to ignore you or blow you out of the conversation. Game over.
Even if the Perfect 10 is intrigued with your direct style, it only takes the social pressure of a disapproving look from one of her girl friends to make her reject you.
For 9s and 10s you can’t openly reveal your sexual interest in them until you’ve increased your own value in their and their friend’s eyes – until you’ve become a 9 or a 10 yourself.
That’s why indirect openers, like casually asking their opinion about something, work. By initiating the conversation in a casual way by asking the woman’s opinion, her defenses won’t go up. You separate yourself from all the other guys who only talk to her for sex and start with how they want her. You’ve bought yourself some time to start demonstrating value in front of her without having to deal with being ignored, back turned, or being blown out of the conversation by her or her friends.
You should look at the opinion opener as a “curiosity hook” simply to get the Perfect 10 and her friends engaged in conversation with you. You’ll find yourself holding the group’s attention – at least for a moment.
That moment is really all you need. As long as you continue building your social value with her and her group of friends through interesting and funny stories, playful routines, cocky jib-jab, conversational hooks, touch, strong nonverbal cues, and so on, you’ll generally continue to hold the group.
It also takes the pressure off of your fragile ego because you’re not laying your body and soul out there in front of girls for them to reject or accept. After all, all you’re doing is getting their opinion!