Is The Swing Lifestyle Right For You? Your One-Stop Guide!

So is the swinger lifestyle right for you? Here’s my opinion…

Since you popped out of your mother’s womb you’ve been told the fairytale of “one true love” being all that you should ever morally need to meet all of your emotional and sexual needs.

From the light rock on the radio of guys crying for a woman’s love and acceptance, to Hollywood movies that always have the sexually dominant man giving up his lifestyle to be a supplicating Wuss for a Madonna “good girl” at the end, we’re constantly bombarded with this notion of finding “The One and Only”.

You tend to believe it, especially when it comes from the people you trust to teach you how the world works like your parents or family.

This isn’t a conscious choice, it’s just what people tend to accept and assume to be the nature of reality because they’ve never been presented with any other alternatives.

There’s one small problem with monogamy however – human beings are NOT monogamous creatures!

There’s no scientific evidence for it.

Little more than a few centuries ago, people were lucky to live beyond the age of 40. Chances are either you or your woman would die from disease, famine, or war at an early age. If you had ten years together with a woman, you were lucky.

Now we’re living longer and longer and yet expected to be monogamous for decades longer than nature even intended us to be alive.

There’s plenty of scientific evidence too that both men and woman are, by the nature of their natural sex drive, driven to enjoy sex with other people.

50% of all women in general admit to cheating.

And that’s just the number of women who will admit it.

Human beings aren’t unique though. Our closest animal relatives, Bonobo chimps engage in what seems to be a nonstop sexual orgy. They have sexual intercourse to greet each other, in exchange for food and favors, and to resolve conflicts. When the chimps come to a new feeding ground, the whole tribe will begin to engage in group sex.

Of the estimated 4,000 documented species of mammals, only about 5% are documented as being truly monogamous. The other 95% of mammal species have open sexual relationships or cheat on their mates when given the chance.

You’re probably familiar with what ends up happening in most monogamous relationships, as opposed to the cultural fairytale you see on television.

Most men go through life worried what others will think of them, and grudgingly sit in their sexual box to please others judging fingers.

The man idealistically commits to monogamy with one woman, and ends up cheating behind her back.

He’s forced to act deceitful, sneak around, and feel guilty about what he’s doing.

If he’s “lucky”, he gets away with cheating and it doesn’t bother his conscience. If he’s not so lucky, terrible embarrassment ensues at getting caught and the relationship or marriage is torn apart – often with children paying the price.

I’m not knocking romantic love. Romantic love is a real and powerful emotion. It feels great.

What you DO need to question however is the cultural hypnosis that romantic love is incompatible with acting on our natural and normal sexual attractions and primal sexual lust.

Why Sex With Other Couples Can Work…

Guys will still jump through a stupid number of hoops to get a girl in bed, and masquerade the whole time that the girl is really special, or somehow unique, when all they want to do is fuck her.

But men and women at swinger parties and in the lifestyle don’t lie about their intentions. They’re upfront that this is about having friends and having sex. They’re completely honest. And they see through the hype about sex.

For example, what if you met a hot girl at a bar and not only did she go home and sleep with you, she called up two of her bi-sexual girlfriends to come over and fuck you as well.

Not such a bad night, right? You’d probably be calling up all your friends the next day to tell them what happened. Maybe it would even rank as one of the best nights of your life.

What if she told you that she liked you so much that she wanted to keep seeing you and bringing her two girlfriends over for more M-F-F-F foursomes – BUT she also had another male lover on the side.

Would you turn down the offer for more M-F-F-F foursomes?

Actually, some guys would. Some guys have knee-jerk negative reactions about ANY girl they have sex even flirting with another guy.

And if you’re one of those guys, you may as well skip this chapter on Bliss Parties. That’s cool, but they’re not for you.

But if you DO like the idea of meeting highly sexual women, women that are pre-selected and prescreened for really enjoying sex, stick with me here – you’re about to learn a little secret.

If you met a woman at a bar and enjoyed having sex with her and her bisexual girlfriends, why wouldn’t you do the same with your woman?

Somewhere along the way you’ve put her in your mind as a Madonna or a Buddy, an asexually pure, “good girl” when she should be your naughty Mistress.

That’s fine, but is she and you possibly blindly following a cultural script set forth by your parents or television?

Deep down, is it possible that your woman could desire a more sexually adventurous lifestyle, and are you secure enough as a man to give it to her?

For men and women, and all those who enjoy sex in general, the hardest part of even the most wonderful relationship is staying monogamous.

To please others, to avoid being branded guilty or bad, to please a loving partner, we all appear to stay monogamous.

But we all know that when the opportunity presents itself, both men and women stray all too easily even if they are enjoying a loving relationship.

The thrill of sexual adventure is so powerful that we can follow it impulsively even when it threatens our happiness in other important areas of life.

We are actually all biologically programmed to be like this – the optimum procreative strategy for both men and women is feeling romantic love and deep connection plus acting on sexual abundance and sexual lust.

Swinger Parties can be the answer to have the best of both worlds without feeling guilt or shame or sneaking around.

Swinger Parties allow a couple to have sexual variety in the context of a loving relationship and they blow away the need or temptation for sexual deceit.

Imagine what it would be like to have an abundance of choice and variety.

Your woman may be delicious, but why have to limit to yourself? Nice muscles, big boobs, or you want a red head? No problem, you choose, there are red heads, brunettes, blondes and whatever positions you want. You just need to go in and get it.

Do you fantasize about having two girls at once?

Do you want to see your woman with another woman?

Do you want to see your woman with another man, while you take on another woman?

Are you curious about playing with multiple partners?

Are you looking for friends with privileges?

Or perhaps you’re seeking none of that, and merely want to have many, many highly attractive and highly sexual women as FRIENDS.

The women at swinger parties and in the lifestyle tend to be highly educated, friendly, vivacious, financially successful, smart, open minded, and sexually curious and open. You are talking about high quality ladies.

Like many subcultures, a strong community atmosphere exists. So for many couples, the SOCIAL element of Swinger Parties and the lifestyle is the reason they go.

Swinger Parties or Bliss Parties – What’s The Difference?

There are many different types of swinger events in the swing lifestyle as well – here’s a quick breakdown.

Swing Lifestyle: Selective Parties

Selective parties typically have age limits and you need to send your photos in to get a membership and to buy entrance tickets. The parties are selecting for a younger, more beautiful crowd and the vast majority of the guests are in their 20s and 30s and physically fit and attractive.

The Bliss Club in Miami and Orlando and Scandalous parties in West Palm Beach Florida are such selective parties.

In many of these parties there’s no sex allowed on premises, and many of the guests are not even “swingers” per se – they’re just there to dress up in super sexy outfits, have good time, and meet friends.

Other parties like the Alter Ego parties in Ft Lauderdale Florida have no age requirements, but require that you wear fetish gear or a cool costume.

Some refer to selective parties as “exclusive” or “elitist” as they keep the old, the drab, and the overweight out.

Indeed, the physical attractiveness of the women you’ll find in these parties will typically blow away the quality of women you’ll find in a “normal” nightclub or bar in South Beach or Los Angeles. Meaning most of the women there are smoking hot.

Swing Clubs

Contrary to popular imagination, you don’t step through the door of a lifestyle club and into the lap of an orgy.

In a larger club the main room will have a bar and dance floor where people will be dancing like at any normal nightclub. On a good night, the energy on the dance floor will be electric, like any hot nightclub. Clothes will be on, although sometimes a woman will expose her breasts for the onlookers.

Typically a full dinner buffet is served which is included in the price of admission. Many couples go just to sit and pig out and watch the dance floor and meet friends.

It’s always an option to go in the “back rooms” where you can make love to your woman in front of other people or grab your own private room and fuck here there. The sex at many of these clubs is actually quite tame – you won’t see orgies or even couples swapping with each other.

Going in the back rooms for sex is completely optional. You can easily spend all night dancing and eating.

Lifestyle clubs are open to everyone over the age of 21, so you’ll find people of all ages. However, most clubs tend to cater to the young and beautiful crowd where the money is, while other clubs cater to the older generation.

You’ll want to visit Swingers Club List for clubs in your area. If you end up at a club that you’re not too crazy about, ask the guests there which one is best for someone new; they’ll be glad to tell you where to go instead.

Private Parties

The real naughtiness and group sex tends to happen behind closed doors at private parties in private houses.

Many of these parties are quite informal with a bunch of like-minded friends getting together for some drinking and sexual play. At a good private party, it feels like Christmas where the whole family of friends has gotten together to open presents.

Typically you would meet new friends at a Bliss party or a lifestyle club and be invited to a private party through your connections.

Lifestyle Resorts

Lifestyle resorts are swinger friendly hotels, mostly located in Mexico and Jamaica, often with picturesque beach-side locations, nude sunbathing, buffets, evening entertainment, saunas and steam rooms, and nude Jacuzzis and swimming.

Going to an exotic resort is like going on college Spring Break again, where all the old environment anchors are gone and the people are extremely warm and friendly. You can find out more about the resorts at

Conventions and “Takeovers”

A takeover is when an organization or lifestyle group takes over and entire hotel or resort for a special event. Takeovers are normally done to avoid interaction with non-lifestyle segments of the population, and to avoid unwanted negative attention.

The largest convention takeovers, like Swing Fest, can have thousands of attendees at once.

Meeting Women Online

A large amount of lifestyle activity is organized via the Internet on various sites with personals and listings.

SDC is the largest and most respected of the online sites with over 250,000 active and fully subscribed accounts. At SDC you can search their database of hundreds of thousands of other couples by age, location, keywords, and other criteria. You can also rack up “validations” and friends, sort of like on a social networking site such as MySpace.

SDC cleans its member database out monthly. If an account is inactive for more than a month it’s deleted, which eliminates wasted members’ time contacting dead accounts.

You’ll find two kinds of sites – free and paid subscription.

Free sites are good, but beware of fakes. Because they’re free, anyone can easily sign up, create a bogus profile, and waste your time. Pay sites have more real ads and fewer timewasters. does cost money to fully join and contact other members, but you can signup and browse the profiles for free.

4 thoughts on “Is The Swing Lifestyle Right For You? Your One-Stop Guide!”

  1. Damn. I thought there would have been more people interested. :p
    Thanks for the advice. I will check out the club Ecounters in Phoenix. Which was listed on one of your links.
    However, I can’t seem to get anything out of the Swingfest link. Something wrong or do I keep checking periodically for posting?? :p

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