It can be a bit difficult to figure out what women really want in bed, because honestly, they sometimes don’t even know themselves.
The problem is even a bit worse because many women don’t want to appear to be “sluts” to their long term relationship boyfriends, or husbands. And so, getting to the truth may be a bit tricky or difficult because a lot of women worry about what their lovers will think or that he’ll look down upon her.
This is why it can be confusing to find out that the best sex that a woman ever had, if she was to admit to it, was a one night stand.
But on the other hand, the best sex she ever had may ALSO be when the sex was when they were in a long term relationship, and true love was at the center of the equation. Why? Because most women have the best sex with men who they really love.
Again, what definitely all women want in bed is to feel comfortable in their own skin and to be sexually free to unleash their true desires, without being judged. Quite the opposite, they want to be encouraged to unleash their kinky side. But let’s move on for now.
Not Even Women Know What They Want
But how can that be? How can it be that women have the best sex with one night stands AND with long term relationships?
Ah, the mysteries of women.
I honestly believe that the answer is that most women are bipolar. They have 2 personalities. There is the princess who wants to get saved by the knight in shining armor, and there is the total and complete slutty woman who loves to be tied up, dominated, and have wild sex – all wrapped up into one woman.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with them being bipolar, and it can be a lot of fun to tap into both of their personalities.
Having had sex with so many women, I believe that this is the real reason why women are so hard to figure out, and why they have a hard time figuring themselves out, too.
This article is going to cover what women really want, and then give you some tips on how to figure out how to treat her like a princess sometimes, and how to treat her like a wild woman the other times. Or, you could combine the two.
What Women Want #1: Amazing Foreplay and No Foreplay
The princess wants there to be passion and suspense, love and sensuality. The princess wants there to be a lot of good foreplay and sensuality so that she will have a chance to get her juices flowing. The princess wants romance and love, candlelight and romantic music. She want to be swept off her feet, carried upstairs to the bed, and then to have amazing sex.
How do you tell when she’s in that mood? She will talk sweetly and innocently. She will be a bit nostalgic and softer in her mood than normal.
The Wild Woman:
The wild woman doesn’t care as much about foreplay. She wants sex now. She’s not as concerned about getting warmed up because she’s always hot and bothered and wet already. She’s ready for you to bang her anytime, and anywhere.
When she is this woman, don’t worry about the foreplay. The foreplay in this case can be very short. Just grab her and take charge.
How to Tell if Your Woman is in Wild Woman Mode
How do you tell when you’re woman is in the “wild woman” mood? Her voice will be a bit deeper. She will talk a bit quicker. She will have an intensity in her eyes that she normally doesn’t have. She may bite her lower lip more, and she will definitely be more aggressive herself. Don’t let her aggression fool you, however – when she’s aggressive like this, there’s nothing that would turn her on more than for you to be more assertive than her and to tie her up and treat her like a bad girl… or like you don’t even know her.
What They Want #2: For You to Last a Long Time in Bed AND For You to Hurry Up
The princess in her wants you to make slow, passionate, sensual love to her for hours if you can. I think that 30-45 minutes is the optimal time. But some women are very happy with 20 minutes when they are with boyfriends or husbands who come way too soon.
One of the ways to make it last longer is if you were to change positions when you feel that you may come too quickly. The way to do this is to make sure that you pull out of her before your point of no return.
We all know the point of no return. That’s the point where you’re going to come no matter what. Don’t wait until you get to that point.
Changing positions will give you a chance to calm down and allow you to delay ejaculation. This is just the most basic thing you can do when it comes to lasting longer in bed.
The other option is to simply go slower. The princess in her will not mind at all if you go slow, so draw it out and make the love making last as long as you can.
The Wild Woman:
The wild woman in her wants it fast and furious, deep, hard and frantic. She wants you to come in under 5 minutes sometimes – not all the time. The wild woman in her wants it to be in public, or in an unexpected, unplanned place. So, an elevator would be good. Or a bathroom. Or a parking lot at night. Or in the woods.
Depending upon how wild she is, she may even want others to be voyeurs and watch the action.
Whatever you do, don’t judge her if she is in a long term relationship with you. More than likely, this is just a side of her, or a fantasy version of her that she likes to play out.
Role with it. Go with it. If it means tying her up and gagging her, and that is what totally turns her on, do it. Role play it. Over act it and be her master and let her be the slave.
Women love to submit, and one of the biggest reasons why they do this is SO THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the sex. In other words, when you take control, she doesn’t have to be responsible for the naughty, kinky things that are done, since she is not in control.
Most women love to be dominated, especially if it is done in a playful, fun way. Just make sure that she is in “wild woman” mode and not “princess” mode when you do it.
But even that advice is not right for all women. Some women may want their “princess” personality to suddenly be treated like a wild woman, or vice-versa.
It all depends upon the woman.
Be Careful When She’s in Princess Mode
Care should be taken here because honestly, if she is in princess mode and you treat her like she’s a wild woman, she could become disappointed and the sex won’t be good. Then, she will be thinking to herself that you aren’t romantic enough, or loving enough, or whatever enough. Don’t fall for that trap brother. I’ve been there, done that. Trust me.
What Women Want #3: Focus on Her
The princess in her wants you to give her amazing foreplay, amazing oral sex, and amazing penetrating sex. She wants lots of kissing during sex, and probably would prefer to ride you than getting it doggy style, etc.
Many woman complain behind guys backs that their guy is only in it for himself – that he only wants to get his rocks off, and that’s it.
That kind of behavior on the guys parts is unacceptable in the world of the princess, but is more acceptable in the world of the wild woman.
So, give her the attention that she wants. That will probably mean lots of passionate kissing, fondling, heavy petting, and going down on her. It could also mean that you give her an amazing massage beforehand in order to get her really warmed up.
If you two are in love, then this, of course, would be the time to express that kind of emotion to her. Women love to be loved and adored, and if you’re feeling it, then now is the time to show it to your princess.
The Wild Woman:
The wild woman wants your focus too, but in a different way.
The wild woman wants you to be aggressive and to have an attitude like you are the predator and she is the prey. She wants you to be so full of sexual passion that you have to bang her right here, and right now. She wants you to be so consumed with lust that you don’t even care where you are, whether that be in a parking lot, or under blankets at a rock concert.
The focus is still on her, but in a much different way than when she is feeling like a princess.
She’s wild and she wants it now. This will probably involve lots of passionate kissing and fondling for a short time, and then straight to the good stuff without giving her any oral.
The bottom line is that women are a lot more complex than guys when it comes to sex. They truly do not even know what they want sometimes.
But use their confusion to your advantage. When you know what you are dealing with, then you can have a much better sex life with her than if you don’t know.
Regardless, keep it light, keep it fun, and keep it safe.
Big Mike is an ex-adult film star and creator of the revolutionary Secrets to Lasting Longer program that saved thousands of relationships.