Giving a woman too many compliments will make you look needy or desperate, especially if she’s not treating you with respect. When you compliment a woman too much too early on, it just makes you look like a wimp.
I mean the more you use compliments, the less power they have. For example, if you curse and cuss every five minutes, those swears lack power. No one is going to take your cussing seriously if you cuss every five minutes as part of your normal conversation. However, if you’re the type of person who never curses, a sudden swear can be very powerful. For example, if someone like your grandmother never swears, and then she yells at you, “Don’t fucking do that!” you’d probably be shocked.
So you only want to compliment a woman when she’s really earned it. Or, when you first meet her, you can give her one single compliment as an opener.
Approaching a woman with one single compliment can be very powerful when you say it directly, smoothly, and with no apologies. A compliment, delivered correctly, can set the frame instantly that you’re a relaxed, sexual person who knows what he wants and goes after it.
However, after the first compliment stop. Do not keep complimenting the girl, otherwise you’ll only look needy. You only want to give them a huge but very short dose of how they affected you and then you want to switch conversation topics altogether and go into something else.
For example, if you compliment her on her great smile, DON’T continue to dwell on her great smile after that. Shift into a more playful, conversational approach or simply change the direction of the conversation.
One thing I like to do is take away the compliment completely and get them to work for more. For example, I might approach a woman and say, “I just couldn’t help but notice something about you… and I had to come over and tell you… that you have the most incredible energy about you.”
And then I take it away saying, “You know I could see us getting together in the future, but I’m realizing I don’t really know you. What else is there about you that I should know about? Are you easy to get along with?” And I’ll say this in a playful, fun tone of voice with a smile.
Notice how in this case first I pace, pause, build the anticipation and then BAM I give her a short but powerful dose of pumped up emotion, the compliment, and then immediately I take it away from her, telling her in a playful tone that yeah, she has a nice energy but I don’t really know her and she still has to prove herself to me.
This kind of build of anticipation, BAM hit her with a powerful compliment, and then take it away is very powerful on women. If you say it in a relaxed confident manner, it shows her that you’re confident enough to approach her, to go after what you want with no apologies, and at the same time she still has to work, she still has to prove herself to you to get your approval.
Compliment opener exercise
Now for your first exercise, go out someplace to a mall or a downtown where you can do some people watching and sit down on a bench somewhere with a pen and paper. As women pass by, notice something specific about each one, like her smile, her energy, her posture, or her clothes that you might compliment her on and write that down. Do this for every woman that passes by, it doesn’t matter if she’s your perfect dream girl, it doesn’t matter if she’s not the kind of girl you would feel inspired to open.
The point of this exercise is to get your mind use to rapidly responding to what it sees and picking out something specific about each individual that you can appreciate.
So go out and write down 100 compliments based on the first 100 women that pass you by. You may not be able to do 100 in one sitting, so do the exercise over a few days if you have to until you have 100 compliments. And if the woman was inspiring, if the women was the kind of person you’d really want to open and say hello to, write down how she affected you along with the compliment.