Every woman will test a man for a certain trait. And that trait is dominance, the ability to be a leader, the strength to stand up for yourself and be a Bull, not a Wuss.
Particularly when you’re setting the rules of the bedroom, a woman will test you fiercely.
She’ll test if your words are more than just empty stands, but that you mean them with action and discipline.
She’ll test if she can get away with her bad behavior if she pleas and pouts.
She’ll test if you’re a strong man who won’t just kiss her ass and always look for her permission.
What Tests Actually Are
A test is her challenge to you because she wants to feel your strength, your manhood, and your dominance. And generally the more beautiful and feminine a woman she is, the more numerous and intensive her tests will be.
For instance, if a woman chronically arrives late to meet with you or doesn’t arrive at all, and you let her treat you that way with a lack of respect, she’ll quickly realize that she can do whatever she wants with you and get away with it.
Or if a woman is asking all the time for outlandish favors and gifts, she’s testing to find out if you’re ready to do anything for her at her beck and command.
If a woman gives you orders in a direct or impolite way, she finds out if you’re the kind of man who will let her treat you badly and to the extent that she can direct you.
If she speaks in a meandering way for hours about something that could be dealt with in a few minutes, she’s testing to find out if you’re man enough to interrupt her and tell her what to do.
If she uses dramatic emotions in her speech, mood changes, and sudden emotional swings, it’s to train you to get used to every whim of hers.
The basic meaning of all of these tests is, if you don’t stand up for yourself, or if you don’t take control and lead the situation, you are not a dominant man.
Tests are all about your male dominance.
This testing is not a conscious process of hers. She’s not being malicious.
It’s just her unconscious way to determine if she’s with a real, sexual, dominant man, or a Wuss.
She wouldn’t even bother testing you unless she saw at least some value in you. After all, if the woman wasn’t serious about having a sexual relationship with you she wouldn’t even bother testing you in the first place.
So you have to see tests for what they are – opportunities.
Every woman you’re ever in a relationship with is going to test you, at least on occasion.
A test is a golden opportunity to set the tone and frame of the relationship and establish your masculinity and dominance in the eyes of a woman.
After all, she’s hoping that you’ll pass.
She’s hoping that you don’t put up with her antics and establish yourself as the kind of dominant man that she wants.
She’s hoping that you’re not like all the other average guys out there who immediately bend to being her whipping boy.
So you want to look forward to a woman’s tests.
How NOT to Handle a Test
If you don’t react quickly to the lack of respect and handle the test correctly, you’ll blunt a woman’s sexual desire toward you.
If she blames you for something that you didn’t do and you try to defend yourself, you’re already buying into her frame – the frame that she can pick on you for something trivial out of her imagination.
If she tests you and you try to smooth things over by giving her a backrub, or talking about “feelings”, you’re rewarding her bad behavior.
If she’s moody and impolite, don’t make her hot chocolate to calm her down. Rewarding a woman in the face of a test makes her lose respect for you as a man.
Neither do you want to become upset or angry in the face of a test.
Part of the purpose of a test is to determine if you give too much importance to what she says and let her antics control your inner state.
If you call her out on her behavior and you’re upset and angry, you come across as weak, out of control, and placing too much importance on it. If a woman doesn’t return your call, getting upset that she didn’t call you back only makes you look needy.
Even if you calmly point out her behavior, she may feel attacked and want to fight back even if on some level she knows that her behavior is bad. Some women may even start to feel self-righteous about their bad behavior in the face of an accusation.
How To Pass Her Tests
The answer to passing tests is that no test deserves a serious answer.
After all, as soon as you give a serious answer or response, whether it’s getting upset or saying “don’t be mad” or trying to make her feel better, you’ve surrendered your frame and you’re buying into hers.
As soon as you let your inner state get out of whack, you’ve already lost the match and failed the test.
Instead of getting serious, keep yourself relaxed and playful, as if you were playing a game.
If a woman tells you in an impolite manner to get her something to drink, you could tell her, “Hey… sure, I’ll get you a drink…” and then pick her up and lift her off the ground, spin her around, tickle her, and play wrestle her.
Instead of getting her the drink, physically dominate her. Being physically dominant lightens the mood and established whose boss. And then you can tell her to ask you again, and if she asks nicely this time with kisses you’ll get her a drink.
In this way you don’t accept her frame and assume the physical leadership in the situation.
You can also reframe and dominate the woman physically sexually.
If she makes a wild accusation based on virtually no evidence like telling you, “What is this number on your cell phone that you called? Is this another woman? Are you cheating on me?” don’t take the test seriously.
Tell her instead, “Yeah, I’m cheating on you with two girls in fact. Both girls with tight bodies like yours.” Then squeeze her butt and put your hand down her pants and start fingering her and talking dirty.
The key to passing tests is always the same – ignore the frame of the test and show her that it doesn’t worry or bother you. Playfully reframe the test and physically dominate your woman. This instantly lets her know who is the dominant man.
So don’t cave in or fall for her tests. If you do, your woman will lose respect for you and sexual attraction is killed. But once she realizes that her games and bull won’t affect you, that you’re a physically and sexually dominate male, that you assume a role of leadership, and that your happiness and inner state isn’t dependent on her mood swings, she’ll finally think to herself that she has a real man.
With time you’ll come to enjoy tests as you come to see them as opportunities to build respect in your woman’s eyes.
With time, your woman will test you less and less as she comes to understand at a deep level your sexual dominance in the relationship.
Not All Of Your Woman’s Drama Is a Test – Here’s How To Tell The Difference
Not everything a woman does is a test.
Not everything a woman does is a test!
Sometimes a woman is simply communicating a genuine and legitimate emotional need of hers that you’re not meeting.
For instance, she may ask you to buy her dinner as a way to tell you, “I need more affection,” or “Let’s do something romantic once in a while.”
Other times, she may try to improve you into the kind of man she really desires.
For example, she may tell you that she doesn’t like your flip flops, not because she’s testing you, but because she can’t feel attracted to a man who dresses down.
This is merely an expression of her love and caring and wanting to feel attracted to you.
Or if you spend all of your time traveling and you’re never home in the evenings, she may flirt online with other men to meet an emotional need for affection or perhaps excitement.
Or if you have an angry outburst with a woman and she walks out of the room on you, it’s not a test– she’s simply reacting to your out of control behavior. She’s simply protecting her feelings.
So if you read into everything a woman does as a test, you’ll be ignoring important information that a woman is giving you to improve the relationship.
How Does One Tell the Difference?
So how can you tell the difference between a test and the expression of an unfulfilled need?
The purpose of a test is to test your dominance and masculine strength and whether you’re the leader or whether she can control you.
If you try to justify yourself, appease her, or get upset or angry, you’ve shown yourself to be weak and you’ve lost the test.
Genuine communication of her needs on the other hand has no power motive. She’s simply missing something important in the relationship and she’s letting you know.
If you can’t tell the difference between the two, it’s simple.
If you playfully reframe and physically dominate her, in a test she’ll typically crumble immediately and the test will be over. She was simply testing your male dominance and once you pass, it’s over.
But if she continues to bring it up again and continues to be serious, this suggests she’s expressing a core need that’s important to her in the relationship that’s not being met.
Let’s say for example that you’re watching sports on television and she abruptly tells you to change the channel.
If this is a test, simply displaying your male dominance would end it.
However, if her vision of having a sex worthy man is not someone who passively sits in front of the television watching sports all day, simply playfully reframing and physically dominating her in the moment will not stop her from communicating to you to change the channel. In that case, continuing your behavior and violating her core needs could end up damaging the relationship.
So you don’t want to fall into the trap of seeing everything a woman does a test. Many times it’s the expression on an unfulfilled need and you have to be sensitive to the difference.
7 thoughts on “Is Your Woman A Handful? Here’s How To Pass Her Relationship Tests”
Thank you for the quick reply. I appreciate it.
Let’s say I had a female friend, that was friends with my ex gf of 5+ years, or this female friend hit on me in my GFs opinion. If my GF says, when you talk to her, you hurt me, because she hit on you or she is friends with your ex and it makes me feel as such. My Gf is very insecure.
How would the bad boy respond to this?
How can I flip this on her or make her request be unreasonable:
– You need to trust me. Each time you say that, it means you dont trust me.
– I need to be who I am socially as a person, It is what makes me, me.
Lastly, any books/videos on dominance in bedroom or dominance in general. Ive read through your posts, which are the best out there, and I have tried to internalize it. I feel like I work best when step by step instructions are given with examples, because I forget the general frame stuff or stuff I read by the time its time to apply it. Im either a visual learner or need very detailed specific step by step instructions on this.
ABC, hit me up on the lounge with your questions
If she has been cheated on and is insecure, how do you handle frames like, “what is this number?”, “why do you talk to her late at night?”, etc. A joking sarcastic response by me about other girls made her upset and cry and she said not to joke about that. It could either be I didnt hold my frame long enough to override hers, or she is actually upset. She has also started to dislike all female friends. This girl looks at you this way, this girl was rude to me, this girl is friends with you ex. By you talking to them, you are hurting me. How do I respect the balance by not being friends with someone that hurt her, and also still being friends with other girls that may/may not be bad people?
She also has issues with me spending lots of time with my boys and watching sports with them (2 days a week). I spend 3 days a week with her. What are the best ways to get them over this?
I’ve told her things like, this makes me happy. I need my time alone. I love that you let me be who I am. I love that I can be independent and be with you. My independence is important to me and I love how you consider it. Thoughts on this subject and other ways to achieve this?
It’s going to be really tough when your girl is insecure… she’s always going to be suspecting and fearing the worst. She’ll try to guilt trip you and make you feel bad. You’ve made a deal with the devil.
One way to handle it is to just fully play into that bad boy role… dominantly telling her you’ll do what you want to do. Because if you try to be the nice guy in this, she’ll feel she can control you and beat you down with guilt.
But if you want to be the nice guy and not have drama and B.S. to deal with, you’ll have to find a new girl. Be the nice guy: that means find a stable, low drama girl. If your girl is emotionally difficult, you have to be the bad boy and not try to appease her.
Dating a girl who catches hell from her live-in boyfriend. Im not interested in anybodys opinion of that arrangement, but I do have an interesting dilemna. Part of reason she has two men is children and child support………anyway my question is: How do I handle her moods that are dropped in my lap that are a result of her feuds with the other guy? This gal is a bitch anyway and this makes it very difficult. Wondering why I even bother? Sometimes I get dehydrated man,but thats another issue. How should I come at her and remain a “man” when she acts this way?
Sounds like you’re putting yourself in a poor situation you shouldn’t be involved in. You’re adopting all of her financial and emotional problems in exchange for sex. Is it really worth it? Probably not. Life is short, make the best of the time you’ve got.
There is a real danger you might actually end up with this chick especially if you don’t kiss her ass. Hit it one last time and run – but I’m warning you, this one will come after you. Bitches like this don’t let go of one vine till they have another one. Been there done that.