A Friendly Handshake That Makes Women Feel Instant Attraction

Unlike say, language, touch is a direct form of contact that causes immediate sexual arousal. In fact, in most cases, true sexual arousal begins with the first touch. Touching a woman, even in a casual manner as in a handshake or a brief touch on the arm, sends a clear message to the lust center in her brain and increases her sexual responsiveness to you in a way beyond her conscious control.

While your words are subject to being rejected by a woman’s critical mind, physical contact if done properly isn’t. A woman’s body is covered with tens of thousands of sensory receptors that are triggered off like a thousand hot torches all going off at once at even the slightest touch. Her skin’s sensory receptors are hardwired directly to her brain’s pleasure center. So responding to your touch is not a choice of hers. You can easily talk to a woman for an hour and not have as intense of an effect you would if you put your hand on her shoulder or touched the back of her neck for instance.

Casual touching also makes her feel that you have a sexual confidence, that you’re a good lover. It demonstrates to her, on an unconscious level, that you’re not afraid to touch women because women like to be touched by you.

Now, as I’ve said, even just a single touch can move a woman in a powerful way. I knew this one very attractive young lady who dated a rather, I have to say, unattractive man. Downright ugly really. When I asked her what it was about him that won her over she said they had met in a resort in a hot tub and happened to get into a conversation. And when he touched her on the shoulder it just sent an electric rush through her skin. That the way he touched her just casually and playfully showed to her he had a lot of confidence and she almost felt a need to be touched again and again.

Now you might imagine that’s unusual but the power of touch is much more powerful on women than it is on men. Even for women who normally don’t fantasize much about sex, a few well-placed touches can make her heat up. That’s because a very specific chemical process takes place in a woman’s body when you touch her, even in just casually friendly way.

What happens is that when you touch her, her body releases a powerful sex hormone called Oxytocin. Oxytocin causes her to feel a bonding with you and to feel good around you. But Oxytocin also causes her testosterone levels, the hormone responsible for her sex drive, to increase as well.

Even a small touch on the arm in many cases is enough to release Oxytocin hormones and testosterone into her body and make her become sexually receptive.

Now remember my lady friend from the hot tub said she almost had a need to be touched again and again after the first touch. Well there’s a very good reason for this. The heightened Oxytocin level gives a woman the desire to be touched even more, producing yet even more oxytocin – a reinforcing cycle of sex hormone escalation.

Now this is not so much the case for men. Women respond MUCH more powerfully to touch than men do. That’s because Oxytocin requires estrogen to work. Without estrogen, it has no effect. And unlike men, women have lots and lots of estrogen. Ever notice how, when a woman you never noticed before, touched you on the hand or shoulder, you started suddenly to think about her differently – perhaps in a sexual way. Well, in women the effect is ten times stronger! So don’t underestimate how one or two well-placed touches can make her start thinking about you as something more than just a friend or a stranger and get her thinking about you sexually.

The Spanish Teacher

This was the case with my Spanish teacher and I. This young lady was teaching me Spanish once a week in her home. Whenever she would open the door to let me in, I’d skip any kind of handshake altogether and actually playfully give her a hug.

She would write the lessons on this marker board on her wall. The thing was that her English wasn’t perfect, so whenever she would make a mistake, I’d stand up and correct it and that would always get us laughing. But often when she laughed, I would touch her wrist or arm slightly with my hand. And pretty soon, after a few lessons, she began to touch me when we would laugh together.

The Double-Clasp Handshake

A good way to initiate touch is through a handshake. My favorite is what’s called the double clasp handhold. Use the excuse of exchanging names to grab her hand, shake with your right hand and cup with your left hand so that it’s like your hands sandwich around hers. And then say to her, “My name’s Joe,” as you look into her eyes, with a big smile. Hold her hand in yours for 5 seconds longer than you would normally. Then, later, when you have to go, take her hand again and with the same strong eye contact and a warm, resonant voice tonality clasp her hand with both of yours for 5 seconds longer than normal.

Do this every time you meet a woman. With some experience you’ll soon find that the women who respond really well to the double-clasp handhold, sometimes you don’t actually have to let go. You can just hold them there and eventually change it to a more relaxed position. If your eye contact, voice tonality, and smile are strong and she’s smiling and giving you heavy eye contact back, not only do you not have to let go if she likes it and responds, but you can lightly start rubbing her hand or stroking her fingers.

28 comments

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  • Without going into too much details, I have tried to be best friends without much success, by handshaking with different women. Either they were uncomfortable with it, because they already had a boyfriend, or wihin themselves, they would tell me that they were very uncomfortable with it. Especially with one woman, it became an unhealthy obsession with me, because I was doing it with her 3 or 4 times a day, for 15 minutes or longer, plus kissing her on the cheek, and rubbing her back. So, forgive me for saying this, but I feel that your advice with the double-clasp handshake, is rather flawed.

  • I hope this works. My massage therapist is a very professional woman (it’s a well established place and certainly NOT a rub and tug) and I was looking for a way to signal her my interest. There’s definitely chemistry between us. Before I met her I had been to a dozen or so other therapists and I never could relax completely, and talk to them at the same time. Now, I feel most comfortable while talking to her. So, not to get too far off track, we shake hands each time we have a session. Before and after. So I started thinking, “if only there was a way I could let her know I’m down for something more”. She gets very close to me, to the point I can feel her breathing on me and when she’s close to my face I can smell the pheramones permiating from her body. We are both turned on and it’s obvious. However, as I said before she’s very professional and i so am I. Making the first move without fucking it up is tricky. I found this article, so I think I’ll give it a go… Let’s see if it works the next time I go. Keep you all posted!

  • This article should be titled, “Women cannot do business as well as men.” If I do business with someone, I expect a handshake. It is not sexual. The handshake is a very important signal! It is used to communicates agreement and understanding between two people. You can tell a lot about a person from their handshake. Today, I went to the bank. At the end of the transaction, I shook the bank employee’s hand. She gave a flimsy, dainty handshake. In my mind, I am worried that my money will be handled by a flimsy and dainty bank.

  • I was in a conversation with a guy who shook my hand & said I was lovely as he was leaving & I cannot stop thinking about him, so there is something in it.

  • I was wondering about this today I was first at a shop waiting for it to open at first it was closed and a cleaner was near the main door. She spoke through the glass so I waited 10 minutes for it to open and sat on a wall. It was likely the cleaner mentioned about a man keen to shop or passed a casual remark about about me. When the sales assistant let me in she initially changed the settings on the door but forgot to unlock it so the door didn’t open correctly this could be the result of her multitasking or evaluating me. I stood back from the door and she unlocked it. She said hello and I said hello back which seemed normal if your the first customer, she walked up the isle ahead of me and said have you got my pen and looked back at me, she may of been alerting the cleaner that I was in the shop but her communication and her body language gave a mix message like she was asking me. I thought she maybe a little weird as she seemed to be stressed about a pen.
    I did my shopping and she was filling a shelf. When I went to the counter to pay another customer was waiting so I joined the que when I started paying she mentioned that I was waiting along time to get in, I said that it’s my job. What job that she said, I said as a part of the care work I do it says to buy the clients shopping from this particular shop. I think she liked hearing it and when she gave me the change she used a bottom and top handed clasp of my hand enough so I could feel some firmness as if she was sensing the warmth of my hands and it was for a second. My brain stopped to think about this as most sale assistance have apathy or avoid physical contact. I think I will see her again in the near future but always import to give her some body language back like positive eye contact or smile. I think I will do the male thing and have a fantasy about the various outcomes, it about feeding intention, the other thing about women is they have cycles where they want closeness and others to be left alone. Also tip prepare the hands to be touched at little moisturizer and clean groomed nails will help not unless she’s turned on by the complete opposite. I have a orange and ginger moisturizer it would leave a scent on her which may make her think about you after your gone for a while as women sense of smell is more sensitive then men’s it could also cause a conversation so prepare an answer that makes sense and not creepy.

  • Forgive me if this was in the text,but how do I shake a girls hand,and make her see me in a sexual way if she is a friend

    • Recently I had a very nice man sit next to me on the plane.we talked for an hour before I asked his name. I can honestly say, from the moment he shook my hand he has not left my mind. That was 10 days ago. There was no way I was leaving that plane wo his info. We msg one another once a day. I told him how his handshake left an everlasting feeling w me.

  • I know when a man rubs his index finger on the inside of a woman’s palm,its a flirty suggestive way of letting her know he is interested. I just received another handshake from a male coworker and he intentional did it to me and two other female coworkers. the best way I can describe it is the dr. spock hand signal but the two people slide the V part of the hand signal into one another. Does it have meaning or was he just being goofy??

  • This does work. A guy at work hit me with this one. He reaced out his right hand. I took it. Then, he put his left hand over his right hand and shook my hand. It was as if he was pulling me in close to him as he shook my hand. I felt a rush of warmth, comfort, and security. I’ve had a crush on him ever sense then.

  • I want to thank you for this website and this article. I now know what to do, and I thank you, Jesse Charger. Keep on banging, my friend.

  • These comments show that there are still men who regard women as playthings and sexual objects. They debase men too. As a man I can say that I have never seen such derogatory rubbish in my life.

  • This article is spot on and more importantly, if people
    try it out in public it works like crazy.

    In fact, I never conciously thought about it the way
    Jesse put it because I just kept doing what works…

    not knowing why women felt this way after a simple
    handshake, rub on the arm, light touch on the shoulder
    after a good laugh almost instantly turned them on…

    I just kept doing it because it just kept working. Now,
    reading this it makes sense and now I’m *concious*
    of it I can improve on it.

    There were many times where, with very little convo
    a simple handshake (admittedly, as Jesse put it, an
    excuse to touch on purpose) would make them touch
    me more in return.

    Also, touching instantly creates a feeling of *bonding*.
    It’s like an anchor. It reminds women of sexual feelings
    even if your intent was non-sexual in nature.

    Man…lol…reading this article puts into words what I
    have been doing all along not knowing the reason why
    it worked…but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

    Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

  • This makes a lot of sense. I was fascinated by the part about oxytocin so I’m glad you included. It always helps to have science and research to back up technique-oriented stuff like this.

    I also didn’t know that women were way more sensitive to touch then men. That’s some useful information… 😉

    • Can the handshakes work on women you already know? For example, could you ask them to give you feedback on a handshake and then do it if they agree? Or does it have to be women you’re meeting?

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