I want to talk about your car. Your ride. Your automobile. Or lack of one.
Now, a lot of guys think that they need a hot car to impress a girl. Or at least a clean car.
And it’s true because the luxury car market is a multi-billion dollars business geared often to guys to impress girls, or bought by guys to impress their girlfriend or wife.
Since you’re more enlightened than the average guy, you probably don’t think you need a hot car either to get girls. BUT on the other hand, you also probably think that it wouldn’t hurt you, right? If you had a hot car, all else being equal, that would be better right?
But actually, desiring a hot girl to impress girls will only screw up your game. AND actually owning a great car to impress girls will screw up your game.
It comes down to a difference between having Core Confidence and between looking for External Validation.
Core Confidence is where you believe you’re the coolest guy on the planet, despite your material circumstances, despite your flaws, and despite your car. You are the coolest guy on the planet, period.
And if you’re driving a shitty, old car, you make the car cool, because YOU are cool.
External validation on the other hand, is you feel naked and unworthy of a quality girl, and you compensate by referencing your confidence from something external, like owning an expensive car.
Core confidence: You are the coolest guy on the planet, and by extension your car is cool too, even if it’s a piece of junk and dirty. Because YOU are so damn cool, that makes your car cool too, because everything you touch is cool. That’s core confidence, almost like a delusional self narcissism.
External validation: You feel unworthy and uncool, but if and when you have a fancy hot car, that value will transfer to you, and you’ll become a little cooler when the girl sees you with your fancy car. That’s relying on external validation.
And obviously, you want to have Core Confidence, not giving a FUCK what you drive.
Because worrying about your car, or deriving confidence from your car to impress a girl, is a subtle form of kissing ass, a subtle form of approval seeking, a subtle form of supplication.
And a guy with Core Confidence and 20 year old Ford Escort is more attractive than a guy with a fancy guy relying on it for external validation. And here’s why.
Number one. A kind of guy who doesn’t have core confidence and is worried about shit like the car he drives, is typically is too scared to approach girls in the first place, or physically escalate, or lead the girl to a date. So usually the girl will never see his fancy car anyway let alone find herself in his bedroom.
Number two. The guy relying on his car to impress the girl is subtly kissing ass, he’s supplicating, he’s looking for the girl’s approval, he’s looking for external validation from the girl. He’s looking to the car to fill a void inside himself, to be liked by the girl. In other words, HE doesn’t feel worthy of the girl and he’s using the car to compensate.
Number three. Having an expensive car screams wealthy provider to the girl. It does NOT indicate to her sexual bad boy. So even if you can get the girl out of the bookstore or bar into your car, she’ll see you as dating material, where she’ll want to date you for months on end before having sex because she sees you as provider. Whereas girls have sex with bad boys for good, wild sex, and they have sex more quickly with broke bad boys.
And that’s why a lot of wealthier guys, when they take the girl on a date in their Benz and show the girl their big house, the girl doesn’t want to have sex with him, because she’s eyeing him up for his provider resources instead. The material things makes her LIKE you as a potential longterm investment, but it doesn’t make her HORNY. There’s a big difference there, and you don’t want that.
Number four. If you’re deriving confidence from your car, you don’t feel worthy. So if you’re not with your car, like anyplace you’re actually going to meet women, you’re going to feel half empty because your crutch, your car, isn’t with you. And your state drops. Then, you get into your expensive car, you feel good again, and your state spikes… but there’s no girls there. So your confidence and state goes up and down, up and down, depending on where you are, and it’s not consistent, and it’s like a rollercoaster. You don’t want that either.
Number five. Circumstances change. Even if you buy that expensive car one day, you can’t guarantee that you’ll always have the money in the future to make the payments. You could lose a job. You could experience a drop in income. And you don’t want your confidence and sense of entitlement dependent on an expensive toy that one day you may not have in the future.
Number six. Cool, down-to-earth girls will like your expensive car because it indicates you’re a provider, which is a problem, BUT it’s also going to attract the gold-diggers. The gold-digger types, the kind of girls you DON’T want to attract, will gravitate to you because you’re relying on MONEY to attract women. And it can bring out the gold-digger side in normal girls as well. Bad, bad, bad.
So, if you are desiring an expensive car, that desiring will cripple you. And if you already have an expensive car, that car is crippling your game.
Really, I suggest some unorthodox advice here. If you’ve got an expensive car, SELL IT OFF.
You’re going to save yourself a LOT of money that you can use going out, or traveling, or taking a workshop, or whatever it is that will go much farther in bang-for-your-buck with girls than a car will take you.
And it will free up your mind to focus on core-confidence and start to not give a SHIT about impressing the girl with material objects.