Relationships between most people today are characterized by cautious coldness and impersonality.
If you walk up to a stranger on the street, they’ll often meet your advance with suspicion. After all, they believe, why else would you try to make a connection to a total stranger unless you wanted to sell something or wanted something from them?
At work, people generally don’t smile unless the boss is looking over their shoulder, wishing they could be somewhere else doing something else.
Many times the only smile of a friendly person you’ll see is that of the salesman, specifically trained to smile at you to make the next sale.
But the warmth or coldness of the people around us affects our own mood- we tend to follow the emotion of the crowd. Have you ever been near to people crying, and you felt like crying yourself, even though you didn’t know what they were crying about? Or perhaps you heard some people laughing and you felt a smiling break across your face, even if you didn’t hear the joke. Emotion is contagious.
And if everyone around you is going about their business seemingly cold and emotionless, you’ll begin to mimic the crowd. If you expect that walking up to a stranger will result in getting brushed off, you’ll likely do the same to a stranger who approaches you.
So a big part in feeling warmth and happiness in our lives is to live in an environment where warm, happy, and friendly people are around us.
Studies have shown that when people have a lot of positive life events and warm interactions with friendly people, they themselves become more extraverted, which in turn makes them even happier.
And studies show that when people are in a positive mood they have a less cautious social style, and meet even more people.
All the research suggests that we DON’T want a place where most people are hostile, shrewd, and self-centered. We DON’T want a place where most people are cold, impersonal, and only keep to themselves.
So ideally, we want to live in place where people are generous, socially outgoing, receptive to others, and generally in a good mood.
Of course, that’s not always possible. It’s hard to find a city, community, or social niche where what I’m describing is the reality.
The next best thing of course, is to have warm, happy, vivacious women in your life. Having upbeat women in your life will bring you far more happiness than money or a fancy car.
And that’s why it’s so important to choose WISELY. Women who are chronically depressed or just not happy with themselves will bring you down.
What Deep Inner Game is all about is being the kind of man INSIDE who has CHOICE among women, so you’re not just stuck with the first girl who falls into your lap.
Instead, you’ll be the kind of man who has enough choice of beautiful women that you can FILTER the good ones from the rotten apples.
This is such an important factor to happiness that I can’t emphasize it enough.