But first, memorized conversation is coming from a place of not trusting in yourself, not trusting that what you have to say is worthy, and that’s it try-hard to get the girls laughing and giggling and make them like you. It can make you feel fake and empty, it puts you inside your head and deflates all the fun, AND the girls can subtly TELL that you’re being try-hard, reaction seeking, needy and incongruent with yourself.
And even when canned stuff DOES work, the girls are liking you for a canned line, not for what YOU would have to say or for YOU, and you don’t want that.
Yes, canned stuff provides a security blanket, a crutch for confidence, but that’s not where you want to be if you want to generate HARD attraction with women, being the Reckless Rake that just sweeps women off their feet for who he is as a man.
I mean, why not just walk into a social situation, with nothing in your head, and get the girls liking your without memorizing and reciting scripts?
And that way you’re authentic. When you talk to a girl authentically and being real, you’ll actually ENJOY it and you’ll ENJOY talking to girls instead of feeling that it’s a chore.
You’re not trying to be someone you’re not, you’re not putting on a show, you’re not being gamey, you’re not putting on a fake personality, so you’ll just feel more normal and healthier about it.
You can’t get caught. You see that girl you’ve spoken to before and you’re not racing through your head trying to remember what lines you’ve already run on her.
And you’ll begin anticipating great responses to YOU, and not your lines. Because the best way to build core confidence through experience is to get great responses to YOU, not to your material. Where instead of anticipating a great response for the canned story written by some keyboard jockey, you anticipate a great response for YOU.
So how do you hold conversations with women, that can go on and on and on, generating endless material without the conversation dying or tapering out, and still generate HARD attraction with girls? How do you become a natural like that?
Well, to start, let’s remember what you DON’T want to do, before we get into what you DO want to do in conversation.
And what you don’t want to do is go inside your head. You don’t want to try to access memories and scripts inside your head while talking to a girl. That will kill the fun energy, make you stiff, and she’ll be able to tell. So don’t go inside your head, keep your eyes on the girl, and stay in the present moment.
So when you walk up to a girl, you don’t do any thinking of anything. Nothing at all. And you don’t know what’s going to come out of your mouth next.
I know, a little scary, but there’s good reasons for this that we’ll get to in a moment.
Again, no routines, no tactics, no semblance of game. No trying to thing out what to say next. No trying to get good reactions, no seeking reactions, no seeking approval from the girl, no trying to make the girl like you through gamey tactics.
Create awkward situations
You just go up to the girl with nothing in your head and you speak.
Does this create awkward conversation situations?
Yep. At first, it definitely does. Most of the time you end up saying “Hey…” with a smile, and you’re just floating there drawing a blank!
In fact, you can count on your first approaches doing this to be boring to the girls, to BORE them to tears, and the interactions don’t last that long.
But you have to be willing to bore the girls, and NOT to go inside your head. Here’s why.
Because you have to learn NOT to be seeking the girl’s approval when you talk to them. This is NOT about making the girls like you or make them weakly giggle and laugh. You have to REWIRE your brain so that you don’t care about that approval seeking, reaction seeking impulse of wanting them to always like you.
And you’ll find at first that you may get nervous and possibly even nauseous at the awkwardness of you having absolutely nothing to say. It can be a challenge getting that feeling.
What you have to do though, is go through approaching, saying hello, and going into conversation freefall enough to desensitize yourself to it, so that you can let go of needing for it to go well all the time. So that you don’t care about it being terribly awkward. Because when you stop caring about it being awkward, that’s when the girls will stop caring and things will start to click for you like a REAL guy who can really talk to girls with NO expectations.
So you just go up to them, say hello, introduce yourself, think whatever comes to your mind, if anything, and let it be the most boring awkward conversation the girls have had all week. Just let it happen. And let yourself get blown out.
Yes, it’s hard… at first
Yeah it can feel hard. Because you must be able to deal with the fact of being terribly inconsistent for a while until your mind adjusts to the “new you”.
Just stick it through, because it’s better to go natural in the long run. Yeah, it’s tough. I mean, I could give you a cheap pickup line, a cheap mantra to just repeat, where a low level of success is guaranteed. I know people want set formulas so that they can cling to them. I don’t give you any. In fact, if you have any I want to take them away! I want to destroy your certainty. Because that’s how you develop.
Because becoming a Reckless Rake is not so cheap. Being Reckless requires a transformation. It’s not as easy as a cheap pickup line. You have to change your whole life pattern. And being Reckless means acting without any certainty, acting despite certainty, and TRYING to create that social disaster, not avoiding it. You’re TRYING to create a social disaster and see how far you can fuck it up before having to clean up the mess.
And rewiring yourself in that way, a lot of it has to do with facing social pressure and acclimatizing yourself to it.
So basically, if you have a choice between a), going into your head for something to say, and b), standing there with your dick in your hand in awkward silence looking at the girl blankly, ALWAYS choose B.
And there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, trust me on this. Just don’t expect, or need, or care about getting through the awkward period any time soon. It could take 5 approaches, or it could take 5 weeks, or it could take months.
But if you go out 3 or 4 times a week consistently, you can get through it pretty quickly.
My Pickup Advice – Free Associate
You can certainly speak conversation in free association and the “I like” association covered in the past lessons. Speaking in free and “I like” association allows you to start talking with nothing in your head going into the set, but still allows you to generate conversation that’s relevant you. That’s perfectly acceptable. As long as you drop being “gamey” with being authentic and in the moment.
And remember with whatever you say, it’s okay and effective to dumb down, to lower your standards of what you say, because you’re not trying to impress them. And girls pick up on that, and that’s attractive.
And yes, you CAN be funny or interesting, but it’s not necessary. If it happens, it happens, so what if you’re funny or interesting. You can say something funny in the moment if it comes to you, but you can’t go into your head looking for it. That’s the big No-no.
And of course, we all say the same jokes, we all tell the same stories over and over. But you aren’t going in there with a PLAN to slam them out, one after another. Instead, IF they come out of the blue, in the moment, then you CAN say them, but NOT to impress the girl. It’s only said to amuse yourself and because that was what was on your tongue at that moment. No other reason.
So you don’t need to get paranoid that just because you’ve said something before, it means you can never say it again. The point is, to be the guy who needs nothing from the girls, and so has nothing in his head, and just says whatever. So it’s okay to repeat stuff.
Touch, Voice, Positive, Self Accept, Self Trust
And remember that immediate, aggressive touching will push things along forward far more quickly than anything clever you could say in conversation. You can say the most meaningless, random, dis-jointed B.S. that makes NO sense whatsoever, and you’ll get her all turned on if you’re touching her. Your words do NOT have to be interesting. What counts is that you’re touching her as you speak and firing off the Oxytocin response in the woman.
And hard attraction is generated through that touch, but also in your positivity through your smile, and standing tall like a champ.
Through speaking loudly with neutral and breaking rapport, which makes it sound as if you’re speaking with certainty.
In trusting in your own actions, as if everything you have to say is worthy and important, and you can’t get away saying anything no matter how lame it is.
That you self-accept yourself and aren’t caught up in endless self-improvement, that you’re fine to go out tonight because women want a man who is SELF ACCEPTING of all his foibles and flaws. That’s what confidence is, total self acceptance, NOT self improvement.
Taking Reckless Action and have fun and learning to enjoy expressing your masculine intent to women.
And you WILL generate HARD attraction with just these concepts alone and letting go of everything else.
Because remember that communicating state and vocal dominance is far more potent in terms of attracting women than the words you use in conversation. Most girls won’t even remember the conversation, they just remember that you’re a fun guy with a dominant voice, that’s it.
So my pickup advice… your mission is to start approaching and initiate conversations with nothing inside your head AT ALL, with just free association speaking, aggressive touch escalation, voice, smile, positivity, self acceptance and trusting in your own actions!