Being just “nice” to a girl may draw her to you since it feels soothing and comforting to her, but it doesn’t make her feel SEXUAL feelings for you.
Without tension, without her feeling a little anxiety and suspense, there can be no feeling of release of true pleasure and joy.
And your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to selectively withdraw, to delay a woman’s satisfaction and make her come after you.
You want the woman to engage her own will in all its force, to become an active participant in the seduction.
And the only way to accomplish this is to take a step back and make them want to possess you, so that they will willingly advance into your arms.
Step 1- Create a moment of joy
Consider step one “the bait”. Here you need to bait the woman with
a promise or reward, whether be the hope of physical pleasure, the social proof of being associated with you, or simply mild attraction to you.
Most guys get no farther than this- they entertain her peer group, read her palm, touch her, tell her some interesting stories, and give her good feelings. But creating good feelings is not enough. You need to take it away.
Step 2- Create a moment of anguish
Once, you have her affection, comfort, or slight attraction, your next task is to create a moment of anguish. The feeling can be intense or subtle, by physically pushing the girl away, turning your back on her, or falsely disqualifying yourself. You are literally creating physical or emotional space between yourself and the girl.
Of course, you’re not blatantly brushing the girl off or acting too cold, you’re just creating a moment of slight doubt.
Creating distance is like pumping raw jet fuel into the attraction machine. Because it’s in the ABSENCE where intense attraction happens.
It’s when you are alone at night in your bed thinking about the girl that you drive yourself crazy for her.
And it’s when you create space between yourself and the girl that she is driven crazy for YOU.
All intense love and attraction is born out of moments of turmoil and distress.
Falling in love is a mix of fear and excitement. Fear and excitement makes you vibrate with sensation, heightens your awareness, and is intensely erotic. The combination is a thrill.
Before she can experience joy, and bliss, she has to experience its opposite, loss. It is only in this momentary space where you give her the feelings of erotic love, turbulent thoughts, longing, hope, and impatient expectancy.
After all, an easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one. We are only really excited by what is denied us, by what we cannot possess.
And don’t worry- women will be less upset by your “push away” than you might imagine. In the world today, women feel starved for experience. They crave emotion, even if it’s negative. The “pain” you cause women by creating space is bracing and makes them feel more alive.
Your withdrawal will trigger her anxiety and the only way for her to relieve this anxiety is to pursue and possess you. Step back now and you make her fall into your arms.
Step 3- Release the tension
You create tension however not to hold it forever, but so that you can release it.
By closing the physical and emotional space again, you create mixed signals that ignite the sexual tension and keep the woman emotional and on edge. By closing the moment of tension or anguish, by rewarding her by connecting again, you allow for her to experience a great release of the tension with joy. It’s this back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration that drives woman to have intense sexual attraction to you.
Create enough highs and lows and you will wear away the last vestiges of a woman’s willpower, and she will pursue you with desperate energy.
And again, don’t be so “nice” all the time. You are most often nice not out of your own inner goodness but out of fear of displeasing the woman, out of your own insecurity. Go beyond that fear and you suddenly have options, like the freedom to create pain and then magically dissolve it.
The technique of inflicting distress and anguish works best on beautiful women who have it easy. They are used to getting what they want right away by needy men, and being pushed away will come as a real shock to them. Beautiful women in particular will chase with particularly intense ferocity when pushed away. Sub-consciously, they secretly desire a man who will give them something to long for.