Just because you screw-up a conversation with a girl, doesn’t make you a permanent screw up.
No, you just learn from your mistakes! And you bounce back.
Conversely, just because you single handedly bang half the women on the local bikini volleyball team, that does NOT make you a “master pick-up artist” either!
Just because you make-out with a girl in a nightclub doesn’t make you a “make-out God”.
And just because you lay a girl on Tuesday and another on Saturday, doesn’t mean “you’ve finally made it.”
Take credit for what you’ve done in the past, but do not over-identify with past success.
Otherwise, you’ll develop the “big PIMP image”.
And as soon as you get shot down by a girl, your big PIMP image will deflate like a flimsy balloon.
Your state will crash and you’ll roll into a ball of warm-putty, wondering what went wrong with your game.
You’ll be thinking, “I’ve had success before… so what gives?? Am I this big pimp I thought I was, or am I total chump who just sucks ass? What the hell?!”
Why Your Big Ego Doesn’t Help You
As a pickup trainer, I try to stay very HUMBLE.
I try to “man down” and leave my ego at the door.
I walk into new social situations thinking, “Yeah, I’m a dork. Yeah, I’m out of state. Yeah, I forget everything I’m ‘supposed’ to do. But you know what? I’m going to have FUN at least…”
And then I’ll just grab the first girl I see, sometimes stumbling through an awkward first conversation.
(P.S. Having a conversation with a random girl is the BEST way to “hit state” and get some momentum).
I’m not trying to prove myself to anyone. And I’m not trying to live up to any past glory.
That’s because this game will EAT YOU if you have a big ego about it.
Falling Into A Trap of Past Success
You see, when you over-identify with past success, you become too concerned about “winning” and “performing”, and “outdoing your past successes”.
Now you’re going in with expectations. “Man, I got a kiss last night… I need to get a kiss this night as well!”
Or, “A really cute girl was into me last weekend… this weekend I need to get an even CUTER girl!”
What happens with expectations is, you become overly approval-seeking.
You approach with a, “Hey ladies… please like me, please give me validation, please laugh at my jokes, and please give me positive attention so that I feel better about myself” frame!
You become a taker, a needy vampire, chasing after validation of your big PUA image.
Yes, that’s Nic Cage
You don’t push interactions forward because you become fatally afraid of not living up to past achievements.
You become timid and conservative and feel approach anxiety. And you stop taking risks to preserve your hot-shot image of yourself.
Change Your Focus…
So don’t try to impress others with your “skillz”.
Don’t go chasing after past success or validating your ego.
And don’t over-identify with your past successes.
That’s a sure-fire formula for a huge “state crash” later down the road when things don’t go your way.
Write down what you accomplish in your journal, and then forget about it.
And tonight, go in with no expectations. Enjoy socializing for FUN and meeting unexpected people. Focus on giving value, and being the positive guy who brings the party.
And success will rear it’s head in the least expected places…
That’s why I created the Nonverbal Sexual Mind Control program, so that you CAN be that guy that brings the party and positivity, WITHOUT the need for complex verbal acrobatics.
Other systems focus on “learning the correct thing to say next” which simply gives you approach anxiety and analysis paralysis. And that’s why other programs ultimately DON’T WORK.
But with NVSC, you don’t need to be a good “conversationalist” or even “good looking”, as the system exploits a glitch in the female psyche that responds powerfully to certain nonverbal leadership cues. So it’s a full “auto-pilot” system that requires almost NO conscious thought on your part for it to attract the hotties.
Click on THIS link here to download the program.
And remember, next time you go out… check your ego at the door and don’t over-identify with past failures… OR your past successes!
21 thoughts on “Does Having A Big Pimp EGO Make Getting Laid Easier? The Surprising Answer”
ya there is a delicate balance between confidence and cockyness, if you go to far towards cocky you are going to turn off 95% of women
JUST TAKE IT AS IF YOU’VE NEVER FAILED OR SUCCEEDED, ALL YOU ARE DOING IS JUST LEAVING LIFE AND HAVING FUN AND MORE FUN IS FUCKEN NEEEEEDED.
this is awesome! woot woot 😛
no matter where you are be confident, meeting women , developing relationships with women is not difficult. Men should read books on salesmanship because this what you are doing, selling yourself. This is why pimps are successful, they are great salesmen!
being humble makes lazy & makes you only showcase of all skills
im still laughing at those Star Trek jokes. 😆
everyone is you, so why create a fake persona to merely deceive another aspect of your self? go with the flow of life, it never fails.
Thats deeeep! I agree, with that awareness ( in the moment) you send out magnetism that attracts, powerfull stuff for succesfull living never mind just pulling chicks. ( Thats Yoga )
Like other great posts, this one applies to more than just dating. Stay humble, have fun, give fun, take chances. There is no past, there is no future. Just here and now.
You’ve been reading ‘The Power Of Now’, haven’t you ? 🙂
Great post Jesse. Thanks.
No prob, thanks for commenting
Damn. Thanks for this post man. I really needed to hear this.
I think this explains a lot, like why I’ve been slumping and overall just not approaching as much as my old self ever since I scored two back-to-back one night stands back in August.
I definitely notice after a run of successes, I tend ease up on the work required to put in, get too full of myself, expect it to get magically easier now… And of course, fall into a slump.
Thanks again man. Hopefully, I’ll wake up and go back to putting I’m the kind of work I was putting in a year ago…
Success can make you lazy when you start identifying yourself as “being a success already”. Stay humble 😉
Can you send a live picture of sexual scene.
Perfect advice , since I tend to undestate some small successes , I may have had , I am more likely to identify with my failures , your advice is absolutely true though .
Hey I liked the part about humble thinking. I think that’s a good way to go cause like you said no expectations to live up to. But Ive read about positive thinking and I wanna know if humble thinking or thinking something like ‘I never do anything right or whatever could manifest into a negative belief over time?
Idk just curious cause I think humble thinking could take a lot of stress off of me but I don’t wanna develop any negative beliefs.
Being humble when your first go out is not talking down to yourself, it’s just about not expecting and imagining huge successes or having big expectations… which can cause general anxiety. You start really humble, grab some very plain-looking girl, and if the conversation lasted for more than 20 seconds, you’ve WON. And you build up from there, building momentum, building state, building talkativeness.
So on the first girls you talk to, it should be very low expectations. Did I open the girls with a ‘hello’ and did the conversation last for 20 seconds? If yes, you’re a champ.
That’s pretty much how I start my night, and for day game too. And it’s the best way to minimize approach anxiety.
Completely different from ‘negative thinking’. As the night goes on, I’ll start thinking more and more narcissistic… like ‘I’m the man’ and ‘I rule’ the more social momentum I get.
Have your expectations or ego ever gotten in your way before? Let me know, leave a comment