Eye contact is one of your most powerful tools. Your eyes can do far more talking than your words. They can make a woman feel uneasy and excited and women use it as a huge measure of your self-confidence.
There are two main situations where you’re using eye contact; the first is making eye contact with someone from afar like from across a room or when walking down the street with a stranger passing by. The second is up close, conversational eye contact.
Eye Contact from Afar
When you see a woman from across the room, it’s fine to make eye contact from afar. However, keep in mind that just about every guy without the confidence to actually approach her and say hello will do exactly this, look at the woman from far away because they know there’s little risk on their part. So it’s less of a powerful sexual cue to make eye contact with a woman from a long distance.
Instead, it’s more powerful to make eye contact when you’re closer to a woman. That takes more relaxed confidence, and creates more sexual excitement and sexual rapport.
For example, instead of trying to make eye contact from across the room, it’s more powerful to walk toward her, make eye contact closer up, smile, and then say something to her. And, if you do make eye contact from a distance, or if it’s the first time making eye contact with a woman, don’t be the first to look away or break the connection. Make her be the one to look away first. This demonstrates to her your self-confidence and establishes your dominance in a very sexy, dangerous, and attractive way.
Now making eye contact from afar is different from staring or stalking. You know you’re staring when she’s actively avoiding you and not reciprocating eye contact back. So don’t stare. Remember, by definition, eye contact is mutual.
Intimate Eye Contact
The other situation for eye contact is up close, conversational eye contact. During the conversation stage of an interaction, when you’re speaking to a woman, don’t dart your eyes or look away much, it makes you look uncomfortable and nervous. Linger longer on her eyes than you would normally, almost as if your eyes stick to hers like soft glue.
This kind of strong, long-lasting eye contact releases phenylethylamine (phenelethelmean), a chemical that accelerates attraction, particularly in women. Overall, you want to maintain direct eye contact with her at least 80% of the time, maintaining direct eye-contact with her much longer than you’d at first think to do so.
Some call this the copulatory gaze because people who love each other not only make much more eye contact while talking, but they’re also more hesitant to take their eyes off each other, even after they finish speaking.
To repeat, this is key. Continue eye contact with a woman during silences in the conversation. Strong long-lasting eye contact that stays overtime stimulates that limbic brain of hers on a primal level. She’ll feel electrified when your eyes linger on hers after you’ve stopped talking and through the silences.
And when you do look away, look away reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly, as though they’re stuck with soft glue.
Also, look into her eyes, not just at her face. It’s a mistake to look only at the face. That’s what you do when you talk to someone you’re not attracted to. Looking at the face versus looking into the eyes is the difference between social, non-sexual eye contact and eye contact that’s a sexual cue. Looking at the face versus looking into the eyes is the difference between conversational eye contact and eye contact that triggers an automatic sexual response and a sense of mutual intimacy in a woman.
Also, don’t open your eyes really wide like a deer tranced out by bright headlights. Narrow them a little. This should be an automatic response if you’re looking directly into a woman’s eyes. If you’re relaxed and you feel some sexual tension, your eyes should narrow slightly all on their own.
And as a cautionary word of warning, you’ll find that a few women are somewhat shy about eye contact. While keeping aggressive eye contact to most women will be a sign of confidence and is very sexy, some women will feel almost as if you’re invading their personal space. Use your good judgment by reading a woman’s body signals to determine her comfort level. Remember, if she consistently looks away for long periods of time she may be uncomfortable, so back off a little.
Points to Remember
So keep in mind the four primary rules when experimenting with the nonverbal sexual cue of eye contact.
First. When making eye contact with a woman from afar or a distance for the first time, don’t be the one to look away. Make her look away first.
Second. During intimate conversation, look directly into a woman’s eyes, not just at her face
Third. Look longer into a woman’s eyes than you normally would, with strong, long-lasting eye contact.
And fourth. Continue to make eye contact through conversational pauses and silences.