There is one dating scene growing like no other, and you really can’t afford to ignore it.
I’m talking about online.
Sure, there was a time when it was reserved for sci-fi conventioneers, the ludicrously shy and the hideously deformed. That time is gone.
Truth is, EVERYONE is getting into it. You can find models and actresses in the online personals, or a kinky dominatrix. Normal girls, skinny girls, nerdy girls, intellectual heavyweights – really, there isn’t a type of person that ISN’T doing it anymore.
Most of that is the expansion of the internet from a forum for Star Trek debates to a tool used by everyone. A good bit is also that online personals are have so much less pressure involved, and a better screening process than “She’s hot.” Of course not everyone’s entirely honest – but at least if you’re into swinging, you’re not going to find yourself chatting up a girl who talks about sunsets and soul mates.
There is a catch though – WAY more guys are online than women. Probably because guys are hornier than women in the resting state, but also because most guys lack the balls to succeed often in face-to-face encounters, and so they turn to finger-to-eye encounters.
Don’t worry too much about these guys. Confidence CAN travel over cables, and women still want it in their men.
So that evens the odds a little bit. But you’ve still got to emerge from the background noise and make an impression.
Number one, you need a photo. Obviously, the better your photo, the better you’ll look. And if you have a good shot of you with a hot lady, use it – this can only help. (Remember the Seinfeld when George gets the picture of the model and tells everyone it’s his ex – and suddenly he’s having all kinds of success with beautiful women? Well… it’s funny ‘cause it’s true.)
Number two, you CANNOT have an ordinary profile. There’s plenty of guys who say something like “I’m an Adonis and give all my women 83 orgasms before breakfast. Maybe you’ll be the next lucky one.” Or say something like “I’m sweet and nice – I helped 83 old women cross the street yesterday.” (By the way, on the Seinfeld kick, what’s the deal with helping old ladies cross the street? Have you ever helped an old lady cross the street? Have you ever seen anyone do it? Is it just me, or do you think you’d either get a pocketbook upside the head or a scream and an eyeful of mace if you tried this?)
The key here isn’t to talk about all the interesting things about you – dorks rock climb in the Himalayas too – but to say things in an interesting WAY. Be playful, funny, and a little mysterious. Don’t list your qualities and hobbies like everyone else. Why pigeonhole yourself?
Instead, talk real-life situational things in a funny way. Write up your idea of a perfect date in a way that makes the girl laugh – even question if you could possibly be serious – but also say “Hmm, that would be pretty cool and exciting.”
It’s just like following one of the keys of good writing – don’t TALK ABOUT how you’ll make her feel, SHOW HER you doing it.
Example: Bad: “I’ll make you hot baby uh-huh yeah I’ve got a monster bulge lick me like a super-sized cone.”
Example: Good: “I’ll remove your bra with my teeth and use it to slingshot hot fudge on your back, which I’ll proceed to knead into you until you’re my own little sundae.”
Ok, that’d be over-the-top for a profile, but that’s the kind of attitude you want (and by the way, once you’ve warmed a girl up over chat, you can be sexual and silly just like that – a potent playful combination.)
Third, bulk. It’d be great if you could sit down and write a personalized email for every woman out there, but on the ‘net there are just too many ladies and plenty of them are so barraged with mail they’ll never even read yours. Craft yourself a nice playful UNUSUAL response, but make it generic enough that you can send it to lots of women. Then do so.
Fourth, get ‘em while they’re hot. Literally, thousands or tens of thousands of women are joining personals every week, and the newbies are most likely to read what you’re saying. After a month, most good catches have either found themselves someone and aren’t paying attention to their profile and responses and/or they’ve gotten so much mail that it’s a nearly hopeless task to separate yourself from the other 57 guys who sent her a message that hour. So do the majority of your shopping in the new members sections of the sites.
Fifth, Sunday. Yep, you heard me. I great majority of the traffic on these sites is on Sunday, which makes perfect sense when you think about it. After all, everyone is free Sunday, and it’s usually a lazy recovery day – what better time to spend a little time online?
Combine that with the disappointment of another wasted night at the bar scene with drunk bozos slobbering on you, and a girl is in the mood to try a different tact. Send a message on Sunday, and you’ll be on the top of the inbox – so she won’t be tired of responding to intriguing guys by the time she gets to your witty email.
Sixth, go forward quickly. If she sends a message to you – either in response to one you sent, or from checking out your profile – that’s a big sign of interest. Get her on chat immediately (and if you haven’t already, download one of the many clients that lets you chat on numerous networks at once – make it easy on her, have a hotmail, yahoo, aol etc account and have them all in one place on your computer. Don’t say “See you ‘round’ but instead give her a time: ‘I’ll be chatting at 6 tomorrow, see you then.’
Seventh, use all your well-honed skills on chat. (And if your skills aren’t honed yet, there’s no better place to practice. She can’t see you sweat or hear you stutter, and you have plenty of time to craft a worthy response.)
Eighth, move to a meeting as fast as you can. Chat five times without meeting, sorry buddy, you’re in the LJBCF (Let’s-Just-Be-Chat-Friends) category. Exceptions can be made when distances are involved, but as a general rule, get coffee quick as you can.
Oh, and one more thing: make sure you see a pic before you go for the meeting. Yes, they might not use a real one – but anyone planning to meet is unlikely to try and dupe you, as they KNOW it’ll blow up in their face quickly enough. And you won’t waste your time with someone you’re not attracted to – most women will actually find that sort of honesty refreshing.
Then, once you’ve met, just do what you know you should already. It’s that simple. The key, of course, like in all other things I’ve taught, is not to be thinking about banging this chick – but just how to move on to the next step. Get there, and you’re golden.