Something to remember: clean does not always mean clean-cut.
Smelling bad is always a bad thing, but looking less than crisp can work to your advantage.
In Japan, there are men who spend four hours making their hair look the perfect kind of disheveled. In Europe some guys go days without bathing – as a way to attract women, believe it or not.
I don’t suggest either of those extremes, but there is something to being outside the norm, the rebel appeal.
Think about it: why do bad boys get so many ladies?
Simple: they do what they want. They are independent, leaders (even if only of themselves), don’t give a shit what others say about them and THAT is what’s attractive.
Trust me: it isn’t the fact they’re abusive, but women will sometimes but up with all sorts of crazy awful repercussions IF the James Dean attraction is strong enough.
Perfect example, from one of Dean’s movies: he’s sitting with a girl who’s got a stump for a leg. Everyone dances around it, is uncomfortable with it, tries not to notice but their body language says they’re thinking about nothing else.
Dean sees it, and immediately asks about it. He’s direct and to the point, asks how it happened, if he can touch it.
The other people all are apologizing for their forward friend and his rudeness, but the girl with tears in her eyes says it’s alright. In fact, it’s better than alright – it’s honest and, for once, comfortable and exactly what she wishes everyone else will do.
THAT, my friends, is the attractiveness of the bad boy. He’s so REAL. He says what others think, he acts while others wish. He takes his destiny in his hands, instead of reacting to what fate throws at him – but, in the best of cases, continuing to listen to the world and acting in a way that fits his path.
Whoa, deep shit, but even though it’s often unspoken (and the fact a bad boy doesn’t need to verbalize and justify himself is attractive in and of itself), THIS is the shit that women go crazy for.
So, how do YOU capture some of that magic?
Well of course, acting playful, confident, and unafraid helps to achieve the same thing.
But since we’re talking about appearance, you KNOW you don’t want to look straight out of a J. Crew catalog.
Stubble. A few days without shaving makes a powerful visual impression.
Leather. I’d advise against red shiny vinyl pants (unless you KNOW you can pull it off – it’s like the thong for men), but a nice leather jacket is always sexy.
Devil-may-care. The attitude is so important here. Intense, yet entirely relaxed (especially about the little things, which are so unimportant the most they’ll elicit is an eyelid-twitch). When you talk to a girl, it’s because something about her legitimately INTERESTS you. Skip small talk. Converse on insights into her soul, and the soul of the world.
There should also be a hint of danger in you. Not that you go starting fights or beating people who displease you – rather the danger that comes from not caring about niceties, and not caring if that seems rude to some people, and not caring about the consequences of your perceived rudeness.
Your hair is unkempt. Your eyes glint. You NEVER lean in unless it’s to make a point. When you talk to someone, you stare into their eyes like you see through them, and NEVER look away first, never look away at all unless you feel that segment of conversation is over.
Plenty of directness. There’s no tricks to you, and subjects which others avoid you go straight into with the burning of curiosity about the world.
Now this kind of approach will intimidate most women. That’s fine – in fact, when you see her getting scared, TALK directly TO THAT POINT. OBSERVE a lot, and don’t be scared to say things like “I see I’m making your uncomfortable. You aren’t used to strangers being this direct, are you? And that puts you ill at ease, but at the same time, it interests you, doesn’t it?”
The question clause is a pretty useful thing here. You should either make direct statements, or attach a question clause like “…, doesn’t it?” so you give her an opening to comment on your remarks. Statements as facts are best, but if you’re worried about offending her by telling her who she is (strong people in general don’t like that), then the question clause gives both of you enough wriggle room to avoid confrontation.
In fact, unlike the traditional bad boy, avoid confrontation. Say you say something like “You’re a very shy girl.” And she responds “No, I’m not at all.” You can be playful and suggestive in your response, but if you want to play the bad boy image to the hilt, you pause, search her face intensely, then say something simple like “Ok.” and move quickly to the next subject – or leave a long pregnant pause, like you’ve got something to say but you’re not sure if she’s ready to hear it.
This is brilliant because it leaves her guessing. Did he say ok because he agrees with me? Or did he say ok because he doesn’t want to argue about it? What did he just see? Is it something I can see myself? Does he think I can’t HANDLE what he sees? This is a wonderful hook to get her thinking more about you, your insights – and the hidden parts of herself that you might be able to bring out.
And the other great thing about this is, in truth, we ALL have EVERY characteristic somewhere in our souls. If you hit on one that isn’t readily apparent or seems contradictory to her image of herself, you can slowly play with it and discover exactly WHERE she has that trait. Because she has it somewhere, and if you’re with a strong brave chill girl, she’s going to want to see what you see in her.
Again, be cautious with this bad boy profile – DON’T be a bastard with it (even if it might work, you’ll hate yourself eventually), and DON’T use it too much on the more timid or vapid.
But if you use it on the right women, suddenly you are strong AND sensitive, a leader AND a listener, someone with insights AND searching questions. You are the most intriguing man she’s ever met. And she’ll want to know why.
15 thoughts on “My Tips To Dress ‘Bad Boy’ Sexy”
I’m late to this little party, but I nevertheless want to say to Peter and anyone else in that age group that your late teens are not the best years of your life, or so I would hope. Even if they’re fantastic, shit gets so much better when you can make your own decisions. The best years should be the ones you MAKE the best, not the few before you’re even an independent man.
Ok, I really like what this post has to say about the attitude and actions. But I want to add a little about how to dress. I agree that you should wear whatever you want and not give a shit what people think. However for some guys this may be shorty shorts and a tube top. Thats NOT a bad boy image. I wear whats comfortable to me like my slightly overly-destroyed jeans, worn out boots, and a ball cap. (Not a sports team cap) When it comes to the shirt it can get tricky. I personally either wear a western style button up with the sleeves rolled tight and high and an under shirt or a t-shirt that fits snug but doesn’t advertise a company logo unless its Affliction. The most important part is to accessorize. Yep.. I said it. Leather bracelets and cuffs, layered necklaces (not gold chains), I’m talking leather people. Or military style dog tags. And last but not least.. earrings. Both ears. No diamond studs though, get black hoops. Small black hoops that hug your lobe. Now wear your ball cap low and use it to cover your eyes slightly for a level of mystery. The women love this look and along with the attitude mentioned above you’re on your way to picking up all the chicks. Trust me! 😈
Good tips man !
Hi Jesse, great post. I’m have a bad boy attitude but don’t initiate conversation with girls. I just avoid it maybe or dunno …I would like to interact with girls. i usually go to library and gym. Help, how can i use this attitude to meet more girls?
David hit me up on the forums ❗
Don’t rule out cold approaching girls in the library. I’ve done it and I’ve gotten numbers. Once I even took a girl to a nearby cafe straight from the library.
do you seriously think that? in my opinion this is going to be the best years in my life and i wanna be somebody that has game just like you, i mean i read alot of your posts and i think you are a genious, the negs, the positive atitude, everything but unfortunatly your posts aren’t for guys my age so i’d love to hear some advice from you.. waiting for your reply.
peter, there’s lots of advice for older gentlemen. take what you find resonates with you.
Hey Jesse, im 16 years old and i’m the typical nice guy with the lady’s, they say im hot but my nice guy talk ruins everything i wish you could give me some advices for a teen like me.
i know i have the looks, the swager, but confidence and raw small talk im a complete noob
Peter, you’re a bit young still !
😮 😥 😕
Got any more tips to dress like a bad boy? Leave them here.. 😎
Just wear whatever you like even if most people don’t like it ! Seriously man did you really read the article !
i am eleven and all the girls say im hot but i want to dress like a badboy
JESUS H CHRIST KIDS THESE DAYS