Jesse here, and I want to talk about a fundamental rule in pickup of women.
This is not a rule you need to memorize, this is not a rule that you need to remember in the field. This is simply a rule, a fundamental rule, that explains the motivation behind some of the infield exercises that are coming up.
And the rule is this — whatever you feel the girls will feel.
If you feel pissed off, if you feel frustrated, the other people around you will also feel pissed off and frustrated. Maybe not as strongly as you, but they’ll feel it to.
For instance, if you storm into a party with a woman bickering and fighting, you’re going to make everyone else feel tense and stressed and angry as well.
Have you ever overheard people on the other room watching television, laughing hysterically? And you’ve got yourself running over with a big smile on your face to see what everyone else was laughing out? You usually end up laughing, even before you know what the joke is on the TV yet, just because everyone else is laughing.
That’s the rule — whatever you feel, the girls will feel.
Or how about when the person next to you is yawning. And within a minute, you find yourself yawning as well.
That’s the rule — whatever you feel, the girls will feel.
Or let’s say here at the grocery store and he gives the register clerk at huge smile, and you say to her “hey it’s a nice day isn’t it!” You’re going to make the register clerk smile and feel happy and great inside to, at least for a moment.
That’s the rule — whatever you feel the girls will feel.
That’s just how we human beings are. We tend to follow the person with the most vibrant emotional state, unconsciously and automatically, against our will.
Whatever you feel, the girls will feel. Your state is contagious like a virus.
If you’re feeling pissed off, the girls will feel uncomfortable around you. If you’re feeling bright and cheery with a huge smile, the girls will feel a nice buzz around you, feel-good themselves, and want to stick around. If you’re bawling on the floor, crying your eyes out, you’re going to bring other people to tears, even if they don’t know what you’re crying about.
How Typical Guys Game Girl – The Wrong Way To Do It
Let’s say that you’re at a party and you’re the typical guy, and you want to impress all the fine ladies.
Most men in social situations are seeking approval from the women. They are seeking approval from the other guys. They dare not act unless they feel they have permission to act.
And this need to be liked, this need to have total approval, makes guys feel anxious, makes them feel uneasy, gives them approach anxiety — because they’re afraid of going up to a girl and not getting her approval.
So the typical guy scans the room, looking to his left, looking to his right. He turns his head this way and that way, looking around the room to spot a girl that looks approachable or is smiling at him — really what he wants is a girl to wave him over. You know, absolutely explicit permission to talk to her.
So is uneasy, he’s uncomfortable, he feels out of place, he feels the opposite of fun. He’s inside his head, he’s thinking, indecisive, paralyzed like a deer frozen in the headlights of a Hummer. His mind racing, “who can I talk to that would approve and accept me.
Here’s the problem. The rule of pickup — whatever you feel, the girls will feel.
When you finally worked up the courage to act in spite of all of your anxiety, in spite of your negative state, with your heartbeat racing, with your palms sweating, you go up and say hello to the girl. But your voice only squeaks out a hello like a mouse. It’s quiet and soft and apologetic and has a seeking for rapport tonality, meaning your page rises at the ends of all your sentences, like you’re asking questions, like you’re apologizing for even saying hello.
And to the girl it sounds like “hi my name is Jesse. Is it okay if I hang out with you guys? Please, please like me?”
And all of your feelings — that neediness to be liked, that anxiety, perhaps hyper excitement, the apologeticness — all of those feelings come through to the girl and her group.
How do you think the girls will perceive you then?
The girls will sense naturally that you are approval seeking and value taking. The girls will know intuitively that you won’t offer them any good emotions. No, you’re there to get good emotions from them, and girls won’t want to be a part of that.
So the girls, from your needy, nervous, shaking energy, feel nervous and shaky themselves. And and at first will talk politely for a minute, but if things don’t improve right away, they’re going to try to shoo you away because your an emotional burden on them.
The rule of pickup — whatever you feel inside, the girls will feel. Your state is contagious. And if you have a bad cold -you can’t blame the girls for having bitch shields -the girls simply don’t want to catch it.
Think of it this way. Wherever you go, you’re affecting other people states. And your state is either dragging the people you meet down, or it’s lifting them up to the sky.
And if your emotional state is needy and nervous, cute girls in particular will feel like you’re dragging them down.
And a party if the typical girls state from 1 to 10, he say a seven, let’s say neutral, and yours is only a 5/10, you’re not contributing to bring the girls up in state. You’re not contributing to the fun or to the party. Then, you’re looking for the girls to bring the party to you, when in fact you need to be bringing the party, or at least somewhat decent feelings, to the girls.
So if I open girls within needy, trying for rapport voice, wanting approval, wanting the girls to like me, and at the same time pre expecting negative reactions from the girls, that’s exactly what I will get — uninspired, negative reactions right back in.
The James Bond Mistake
So what a lot of guys do to compensate, is that they think to themselves “well, I’m going to be like James Bond. Girls think James Bond is sexy and guys want to be James Bond. James Bond isn’t a nervous wreck, he’s not a typical guy, he’s not needy and seeking approval. Well, James Bond he’s cool, he’s stoic, he’s manly, it doesn’t show his emotions. If James Bond is ever nervous, he doesn’t show it. So, I’m going to be that aloof guy like James Bond, I’m going to be that mysterious guy at the bar who doesn’t express himself and is mysteriously attractive.”
So to combat his social anxiety, to suppress his negative feelings, he tries to control them and dull them by being to the outside world, flat and stoic like James Bond. Super cool and super chill.
So our James Bond wannabe stands their party with a drink in his hand, thinking to himself “yeah I’m the man, on James Bond.” And the girls is hello to him, and he just stands there all cool and chill without a smile, without much a reaction, and says hi.
And this James Bond front is used by hot girls to come all the time. If the working mode of a lot of women in social situations. Women at the party also value seeking and looking for approval from others. A lot of pretty girls at parties are comfortable. And they take on this James Bond persona, the female version of it. You know the girl who is stoic, not smiling, looks unfriendly, looking around the room, cool and chill. The bitch Shield. But that bitch Shield is really just to hide her needy nervous state inside.
So we get back to the rule of pickup — whatever you feel, the girls will feel. And if you’re acting like James Bond, emotionally closed off, unexpressive, super cool light ice, not talkative, you’re going to get the same standoffish position right back from women. Just like a woman with a bitch Shield scares off men and doesn’t get approached much.
Being like a stoic James Bond does not add happiness, excitement, positively, or good feelings to the party which is what girls are looking for a guy to do. You’re just a drag, just like the hot girl with the big bitch Shield. When you’re the guy with the James Bond “Man shield”.
And when your hands are closed like fists, women will close their hands and cross their arms right back. They don’t want to be dirtied in the mud of your standoffish state. State is contagious and they don’t want to catch your cold.
Getting Girls With State Transference
Now let’s say that you’re feeling positive and happy and fun inside, now let’s say you have trust and 100% belief that you are the 10, that whatever you have to say is cool and important, you’ve got a smile on your face and you’re expressing your state to others.
The rule of pickup — whatever you feel the girls will feel.
You go up to a girl, and he say to her, “hey my name is Jesse, I have to tell you, you are absolutely the cutest thing that I have ever laid my eyes — and that’s why you are dangerous.”
Say that, or say “Hey, you know what? I just love pickles. I just love to eat pickles. I don’t know what it is about pickles. You know what — I can tell something about you. And you secretly love whatever food — chocolate.
You say that with a huge smile on your face, with positivity, with a projecting voice, being fun and playful, not trying to impress the girl, not worrying about the girl’s reaction, giving off a fun vibe, and the girl will feel it. She will follow you into that fun, positive state with you — even if she has that James Bond bitch shield thing going on. You will instantly change her state
And now suddenly the girl is feeling better than before, within the snap a few seconds, now suddenly you are bringing positive, good emotions to the girl, and she’ll let you stay. Because that’s attractive. At this viscerally attractive. Not by her choice, she will just respond that way. She’ll have a taste of your good feelings, and she’ll want more, even though this isn’t something that she consciously processing in her mind. It’s just an automatic reaction.
Look, most women in life, most people in life, they chase good feelings by purchasing a new car, purchasing a new parish shoes, getting a praise and acceptance from their teacher or boss, or buying stuff. But the feeling of woman gets from buying a new pair of shoes quickly fades, within a day or two, and she’s back to chasing after good feelings again.
Feeling great inside is elusive for most people. Something that they constantly chase for, something that are always grasping for, and once they get it in their hands from buying a status symbol or getting approval from an authority figure, once it’s in their hand’s for a moment, it slips away through their fingers like a ghost.
And it’s a rare for a woman to find someone that can generate those good feelings internally, by himself, at his will, and express that wonderful positivity up front and unapologetically to a beautiful woman — not to get her approval, not to kiss her ass — but just because he’s a fun, positive guy.
The rule of pickup — whatever you feel the girls will feel.
And when you do that, the girls will want a piece of your magic. Women will want a window into your secret. And women will hang around whoever can give them, whoever can make them feel, those positive emotions, by virtue of simply being a positive guy himself.
What they’re constantly chasing for and grasping for in the material world of consumerism, which is ultimately false and elusive, she can feel from you and get her fix. And women will fucking swarm you like high of bees.
A man who can express a smile and positivity, not from a place of seeking the girl’s approval to impress her, but because that’s what he feels inside — asked massively attractive. And you’ll begin to find women treating you in the same way that people normally treat model quality girls when you’ve got that.
The Echo Analogy
I was once with my friend in an old auditorium and the room had an echo. We made all kinds of funny noises – fart noises, dog barking, sexual moans of glory, sang songs – and in the echo got everything right back to us ten times.
This is how the club is, the club or party is like a large echo chamber- whatever you give to others you will get right back, tenfold.
If I’m doing nothing, standing there by myself, I will get nothing back.
If I’m opening girls very needy, with a needy voice, wanting something, and pre-expecting negative reactions from them, that’s exactly what I will get- uninspired reactions from them.
If I go in very low energy and timid, that’s exactly what I will get back- very low energy responses or none at all (blowouts).
Be a man of pure sexual joy, intent, light however, and you will get exactly that echoed back from the party, the girls that you meet, tenfold.
Shower the party, the club, with flowers, not literal flowers, but the flowers of your smile, the flowers of your childlike happiness, the flowers of your positivity, the flowers of your spontaneity, the flowers of your fearlessness and wildness. If you shower your supernova glory onto others, the glory will come right back and shower onto you.
Allow your waves of joy and positivity and raw enthusiasm and raw sexual desire just overpower any negativity coming from others. Let it echo and infect everyone it touches, like the hands of a healing prophet, bring the healing power of your touch and your hands and your joy to everyone and heal them of their drudgery.
Some women will challenge you, some will tell you to go away, some will kick, some will scream, but all will succumb to a higher masculine force of relentlessness, of persistence, of sticking through their initial wall, not allowing it to affect you, not acknowledging it, and instead showering them with a brilliant supernova of healing positivity and sexual energy.
That is the ultimate aphrodisiac; that when a man so powerful, with so much pure positivity and sexual energy and light approaches her, when his flame will not flinch or flicker for anything or anyone, she cannot help but open herself up to his power and to his glory.
To make your echo glorious, that is the way forward, that is the journey you must take.