Most guys come into learning dating and pickup with the goal of not sleeping with a bunch of girls, but just to get a girlfriend and get married.
And I understand that goal. It’s a natural impulse to just want to meet that one girlfriend and marry her.
Because after all, then you’re done with game. You get the girl, and then you don’t need to go out and do anymore socializing or approaching. You’re all done.
But look, in my opinion, in my experience, getting looking for a girl to marry is not a good idea. Finding a girl because you’re lonely and dedicating herself to her and also so you can drop going out, while romantic sounding, will eventually backfire on you.
If you are dying to have kids, you just want a big family with lots of kids, then go ahead and settle with girlfriend and get married if you want. BUT if you are not wanting or ready to have girlfriends – do not be looking for a girlfriend to marry and do not let a girl move in with you or make her exclusive.
First of all, ALL women will lose their value in relation to you over time.
The first stage will happen in the first month. You meet the girl, she’s dressed up, she has make-up on, she looks hot. And you’re horny and you’re lonely and you want a girlfriend. And this girl LIKES you.
So you jump into bed the with her, the sex is exciting, the romance is exciting, you feel happier and more complete and more fulfilled.
And the girl wants you to be her boyfriend, because you’re a cool guy.
And riding on your wave of emotions, you think “Hell why not. I like this girl. She’s fun. She’s cute. I like the sex. AND it’s comfortable – we watch movies together, and I don’t have to go out anymore on dates or get rejected, or talk loudly, or face social pressure. It’s so much easier to stay with this one girl. So I’ll just make her my girlfriend and marry her eventually.”
And the logic is sound. In that moment.
But here’s the problem.
If you are a cool guy, and you know how to pull girls, over time, over the years, your sexual value will only increase, and your girlfriend’s or your wife’s sexual value will tend to decrease.
Once she’s in a relationship and she feels that she has you locked up, two things begin working against her – she will start to get lazy and she gets older.
She’ll put on weight and just with age begin to lose her body as her metabolism down as she ages. As she ages and gets lazy she won’t dress as well.
And when you get comfortable and have a girl locked up – YOU will get lazy. You won’t put as much time or sex or romance into the relationship.
And as a guy who knows how to meet girls, your eye will wander and you will become gradually increasingly unhappy in your relationship or marriage.
It might take a few months. It might take a year. It might take 3 years. It might take 5 years, depending on the woman you’re with.
But eventually, you will start to feel trapped in a relationship that you don’t want to be in. Because you start to see younger girls that you want to fuck the shit out of, but you feel like your hands are tied.
But this is universal and no one escapes it. It’s not romantic, but that’s how we men are wired. We’re wired to want variety with young women.
And any woman that you get with, no matter how beautiful, no matter how great her body is, she will age, she will lose her body, you will get bored from lack of variety, and you will get lazy. And the relationship or marriage will deteriorate.
It will either fall apart, OR you will get have a kind of boredom mixed with wanting to fuck a variety of younger girls, but you feel trapped by family or comfortableness or laziness or whatever.
The Example Al Gore
I’m writing this as of June 2010. Let’s just look back at famous couple breakups.
Announced in the news a few days ago, Al Gore and his wife Tipper are separating after 40 years of marriage. And close friends of Al are reportedly shocked – shocked! – because they had this fairytale romance, wedding and relationship.
But look. Al Gore does lots of public speaking and is in his own right a celebrity among liberals. Liberal girls who are open and free about sex, and he’s speaking to young audiences. And he, I guarantee you, as young girls hitting on him constantly. And he’s away and doing lots of traveling and he’s an authority figure, and he’s commanding, and that’s attractive to young women.
He is surrounded by temptation.
On the other hand, through no fault of her own, his wife is getting older. She’s hitting grandmotherly age. She’s becoming drastically less sexually valuable or attractive, just as Al Gore is peaking into his prime.
And she doesn’t represent variety. Men are hard wired to want variety with young women. And no girlfriend or wife over a period of decades can represent that kind of variety that we men are hard wired in our brains to crave after.
So of course they would separate. Why is that a surprise? Al Gore is a man, like all men. He has the same sexual desires. And he’s driven and he’s powerful, and he has young girls hanging on him, following him. What’s the surprise that they’d separate?
Just yesterday, playboy model and television actress Garcelle Beauvais announced she was splitting from her husband of 9 years, Mike Nilon.
Turned out for the past five years, he was having an affair with another girl.
Now Garcelle is pretty smoking hot, do an image search for her. I mean she posed for playboy. And she’s rich. Certainly a catch.
But look, us men are attracted to variety. And youth. And the next thing.
I guarantee you stick with any girl long enough, and you are a cool guy with knowledge of the game and you have options and you have opportunities, your relationships will go to shit, eventually, if you think having a girlfriend or a wife will solve your problems.
After 14 years of marriage and two children, Saved by the Bell star Mark-Paul Gosselaar and his wife Lisa Ann Russell have separated. And Lisa Ann Russell, if you do an image search on her, she’s hot. But look, men are driven to youth and variety.
Halle Berry has just split from her Gabriel Aubrey after 5 years.
Hey, these are just splits in the last few weeks and I’m leaving a lot of them out.
In the celebrity world, what you’ve got are powerful guys and with the means and the ability to meet more girls all the time.
So you’re either a guy of the game who has choice, in which case I don’t recommend you get wrapped into a relationship exclusively with a girl or get married, unless you are doing it because you want kids with this woman right now. That would be the only exception.
Instead, forget girls and learn to love the game. Your motivation is to express your masculine sexual intent to all women, because that’s what will make you feel healthy and young and vital and good. And when you meet girls, have fun with them, go out with them like you would a girlfriend. BUT keep them at a little bit of a distance from being an exclusive girlfriend or getting hitched.
That’s why I’m such a strong advocate of having a circle of girlfriends.
Because your opportunities are going to be rising as you age, while she will fail to meet your desires for long term variety and youth.
The Megan Fox Marriage Example
Just take Megan Fox who everyone says now is the hot girl in Hollywood. She’s held up as the ideal girl or something like that.
Well, first of all, in the Transformers movie in an interview she said that they put on tons of make up on her, gave her a spray on fake tan, and they painted on her abs. In one scene she is lifting up the car hood, and they show her abs.
But Hollywood paints on abs for Baywatch, for the movie 300, and a lot of movies. And same in clubs and bars, the girls you meet are a lot of them just makeup and fakeup.
That hot girl when you get her naked in your bed, she will be exciting at first, but you’re going start noticing very quickly that her skin isn’t smooth. That she’s actually much shorter without her heels on. That her dress hid her flabby stomach. That without her push-up bra she’s actually very flat chested. And so on.
She smokes, or she has emotional issues, or she’s jealous, or she’s controlling, or she’s conservative bed.
When you google image search her, in casual shots, not glamour shots, you’ll see that she is actually skinny as stick with chicken legs, no boobs whatsoever, no hips, and short. I mean you could literally pick this girl up and snap her in half like a toothpick.
On set, she’s described as spoiled, demanding, and insulting.
What she’s got going for her, is that she is very young and fresh faced, so as men we want to fuck a girl like that.
But if she was your wife, she would drive you fucking nuts. And in a few years, she would start to put on weight and just get old.
And if you’re a powerful guy with knowledge of picking up women, pretty quickly temptation and new opportunities will pull on you in new directions.
Be Your Own Perfect 10!
Here’s my point of all this. Don’t make marriage your goal. Don’t put extra value on women out there that they don’t deserve. Don’t make women the 10s.
You have to think of yourself as the 10.
YOU are the 10.
That means working on your body, exercising, accomplishing what you want to accomplish with you life, and YOU being YOUR own 10. YOU are the 10 that pulls women, women being the 6s, 7s, and 8s, into YOUR life with YOU as the 10.
When you smile, when you stand like a champ, when you speak loudly, when you are trusting in your own actions, when you chill and relaxed enough to say hello to everyone in the room – THAT kind of guy is a rare guy and more valuable than any girl.
It’s not romantic, it sounds cold maybe – but it’s the truth.
So be that guy who values himself as a 10. And a little bit of self-delusional narcissism as being the most important person in the room is exactly what will attract those girls.
And keep your eyes wide open that locking in a girlfriend for marriage so that you can stop being social and just be comfortable lazy is not a long term solution to anything. Only exception is if you want children right now, then I would say go for it. But otherwise, don’t be so eager to lock yourself into something.
So should you get married? Not if you have game skills. Wait a bit.
18 thoughts on “Asking Yourself “Should I Get Married?” 10 Reasons Men Should Not …”
more and more guys are figuring this out every day, you can only read miserable old guys talk about how their wives will never have sex with them complain about it on message boards and blogs so many times before that light goes off in your head that says hey, dont be like this guy
Extremely superficial and seems like a justification for your personal lifetsyle. In fact it has now been proved that given women’s sexuality, if there were no social rules, women have more tendency to be polyandrous than men to be polygamous
Good post. But getting married and having kinds doesn’t mean you need to stop being a playboy. 😉
I see your point, but I also think there’s a lot to be said about finding that girl without that goal in mind. As long as you’re not looking for her to cast away all of your loneliness and insecurity, I think it’s fine to move forward with a girl whom you share interests with, can drop any barriers you have around, and a girl who will make a good counterpart in life (good mom/teammate/etc).
Jesse, when you are not that good looking or charming, its hard and gets lot of effort to get a beautiful women then only u need to lock up the women by committing to her. But instead of fucking around different women all the times with condom, isnt is it nice to fuck a one women for couple of years without condom and confidence??. I agree with all your points but only problem with that is ” you fuck with only condom. and when i m not sure of the girl’s health status, i dont get confident while having sex. So i prefer to have a girl friend. Curious to know your views…
A condom is the “price” you pay for variety, fun, stimulation. Really, once you use a condom for a month, it’s no big deal. Is brushing your teeth fun? No. But you gotta do it.
I’m not sure that having bareback sex is enough reason to get married. I suspect you have other reasons, possibly you’re not being swarmed with girls or not going out enough, and you’re thinking about condoms as justification not to take action. ? ❓
and the interesting thing about u guys nature is: u try to beat women with their own kind…new women….huh…seems lyk trying to avenge urself against the entire female species :p
seems like all men in pickup are actually insecure about women…. is it that beautiful women hav an intimidating effect on u guys? had it been upto u, u wud hav taken the power of speech n thought from us women, and wud hav reduced them to merely objects of fun….pronlem is!u r trying to do just that but obviously cant…thats why u all are flabbergasted n hav no idea how to handle women… *sheesh* 😀 whoa..tak it easy guys..all women are not psychotic gold diggers ready to trap u into a relationship… dont b so harsh on urself n the females…let love happen if u really like someone…after all thats wut life is about…u can b choosy about them…accepted that u are alpha males…but seriously, not deciding to get married bcoz she will eventually age n grow chubby? seriously? i sort of pity u guys…life isnt supposed to b perfect…..if a girl is skinny or fat by ur standards, she is still human n can b attractive…. hav u looked at urself in the mirror? i bet i wud hardly rate any of u as exceptionally good looking if i come across u…n yet so much drama about female appearance? huhh
I think people get married when they have failed so many times with dating. When a man has enough confidence and experience with seduction then why the fu-k would he lose his freedom, and could end up paying for a divorce and after. It happens to most of us, I just hope that some young man will take my advice and if in the end he wants kids, wait till you’re fifty with money.
Great post Jess.
I really don’t get whey some guys come into the community and learn picking,to then settle for the first solid girl he lays.It’s counter productive big time.
A lot of guys get into this because they’re desperate – and the first girl that strokes their ego, they’re all over her and drop out. You have to be coming from a solid inner place.
Oh wait. I think you forgot to mention the part where the wife keeps a bangin’ body and the husband gets lazy, gets a beer gut, and gets diagnosed with ED. Buttholes like you need to write articles like this because you can’t keep a good woman long enough because your past amounts to nothing but chasing skank tail (desparate, stupid chicks that NEED to wear makeup to look hot). You are not interesting. You are selfish. You are the type of person that makes this world infested with Jesey Shore wanna-bes and venerial disease.
Oh, and the last comment is funny. There are more males on antidepressants in this country than females. Check your facts. Maybe you are the type of guy who can’t get his shit together and fall for the wrong type of girls-psychotic bitches.
Please. Grow the fuck up.
Show us your photo.
There are plenty of lazy men with bad habits… and they typically end up with women with bad habits, if not alone. This article is more directed toward outlier males that specifically design their own lifestyles and are pro-active about it.
You completely left out the part where she goes crazy on an antidepressant, spend money like it’s free, starts screwing other people, becomes a complete bitch, hires a cunt lawyer (you pay for hers and yours), tries to take more than half of everything, and destroys your family in a self centered frenzy.
Good points Tim. In all fairness, not all women will do that. But you’re definitely playing with fire
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Didn’t know guys still thought so lowly of women! Sad 🙁
I’m going to be my own 10 and fuck yall!!