The next nonverbal sexual cue you want to learn is what I call the “soft playful walking smile.”
Smiling is one of the most important nonverbal sexual cues you can project. So important that I encourage you to always be in the habit of smiling. Not just when you’re about to talk to someone, but when you’re walking down the street or walking through the aisles at the grocery store. That’s the kind of friendly, confident energy you want to project in public always. Always.
On the other hand, you can’t just go around with a big wide open grin all the time like you’re stoned or something.
Instead, you want to project what I call a “soft playful walking smile.” A soft playful walking smile is just that… it’s almost like your smiling to yourself and it just comes softly through on your face. Almost like a James Bond kind of smirk. Really, only the corners of your mouth need to be slightly upturned, if that.
What this soft playful walking smile does is act as a sort of launching pad for delivering a big, wide open smile when a woman passes by… so you’re always ready to deliver that most important sexual cue.
Now, some people get a little uncomfortable being in public with a slight smile. This is just another form of self-consciousness you have to let go of. Because really, if you look all serious in public you look more like an angry mass murderer or like you want to beat someone up and you should be more self conscious about looking like that.
So I’m going to give you a number of exercises for developing a soft playful walking smile that you should practice for a number of weeks.
Mall Exercise
This first exercise is really pretty simple. Go to your local mall or large shopping center or grocery store. Walk around everywhere. Don’t rush, don’t hurry, but take your time, and walk deliberately. But instead of being all serious like you normally would be, keep a soft playful walking smile on your face. You don’t need a big toothy grin, just a SOFT playful walking smile that shows up slightly on your face. And keep it up for a full 30 minutes. Time yourself if you have to.
And when you’re done write down your experience in your journal. Write down if you noticed any unusual reactions from other people you passed by. But more importantly, write down how your state changed by the end of the exercise.
Day Exercise
Once you’ve had some practice in these 30 minute sessions being out in public with a soft playful walking smile, you’re ready for something more of a challenge, for what I call the “soft playful walking smile day challenge.” In this exercise, I want you to keep a soft playful walking smile ALL day, and I mean all day you’re out in public and at work or driving your car. If you’ve got friends or family I want you to use it in front of them too.
Now all day is a long time. At times you may forget to do it, but I want you to catch yourself when you forget and start the soft, playful smile up again. You need this kind of marathon practice to really get good at it and turn it into more of an automatic behavior that you’ll keep with you for the rest of your life.
So I don’t care how you plan to remind yourself throughout the day, tie a red string around your finger if you have to, but keep the soft playful walking smile going for the entire day. At first it MAY will seem a little unnatural and tiring but that’s why I want you to do this exercise for at least one entire day every week until it becomes easier.
And of course, be sure to write down your results in your journal. Write down if anyone makes a comment that you seem more in a good mood or if others seem to be in more of a good mood around you. Write down how the soft playful walking smile affected your state throughout the day and how natural it’s feeling for you to do it.
So the all important rules for the nonverbal sexual cue of the soft, playful, walking smile are,
First. Keep a soft, playful walking smile when out in public.
And second. Use a soft playful walking smile to springboard into a big open smile when the time comes to do so.
Hey man I have really noticed a difference. I started doing this before I read your article and realized women are definately most attracted to this aspect. I used to be in a hbit of walking around with a staright face and did not notice women checking me out. Ever since I started the slight smile I noticed a lot more eye contact and flirty looks. This definately works guys and you will feel much more comfortable because people are intimidated by this Smile.
Th thing that always puzzled me about smiling,is that I used to always get confused about if to have a big-cheesy smile(showing all teeth),or a slight smile as you suggested.This post confirmed that most gurus(including yourself)actually meant a slight-sly type grin/smile.
Yes, closed to open is something to alternate
I need to keep repeating – this isn’t a dress rehearsal – every time I find myself saying to myself this is what I SHOULD be doing. 😉
I’m totally envious of that trip. You will never regret taking that time for you.
Hell Jesse – a lot of YOUNG guys aren’t young and never will be. They are living the life assigned to them instead of the one they wanted. Later in life I started living that assigned life and my natural smile disappeared – I’m claiming it back. Thank you for the website – reading it makes me keep my eye on the ball!
This was a popular post, related to your comment http://www.seductionscience.com/2008/living-the-life-of-surfer-dude/
Thanks for sharing Tim.
They WERE attracted to my positive energy. Ten years of marriage, two children and a my wife’s fatal illness – I lost that. It was so easy to say fuck it to the things in my life that weighed on my mind fifteen years ago. To quote my father – Tim there are a billion and a half more of them, you won’t remember this one ten years from now. (The world’s population was 3 billion then.)
It has been hard to retrain my subconscious. Lot of older guys here are going through the same shit. They are old in their thoughts.
The message I get from your website is so much more than pickup. It’s about living life. So many men are not living their life. Hell I had a youth – something a ton of divorced men never had and I know what I was missing and it wasn’t getting a tattoo and a harley. I’m fifty and I’m living my life again. My yoga teacher girlfriend likes to be spanked and fucked like a dirty tramp and women hit on me all the time. I got enough money and my kids a relatively happy. I’m going to enjoy myself.
Dude sounds like you’ve got your life really together and have an awesome girlfriend. Glad you’re getting so much out of the site.
You know with the economic downturn, political situation, and the world on the brink of economic collapse – I forget too smile. Even more basic than that I forget to eliminate my negative thoughts. Nobody wants to be around a bunch of gloom especially a girl you barely know. At one time in my life a negative thought was painful and I immediately discarded it. I was much happier, more content, and pussy was falling out of trees. Girls – hot girls were showing up at the door of my $150 a month apartment to throw the pussy on me. It was so simple – I didn’t give a fuck and was happy with life. I want that again. Unfortunately it its not something you force to happen – you have to let it happen.
And they’re attracted to your positive energy Tim, get swept up in it… which begins with smiling regularly. 🙂