The power of smiling is usually greatly underestimated in creating sexual rapport with women. I’ve met many guys attempting to improve their conversation abilities or their looks when they don’t even command their own facial expressions.
The reason to smile is simple. A smile shows that you’re an open, friendly, relaxed person. It’s an attitude that says without words, “I’m in a good mood. I’m enjoying myself. Being around me makes others feel good too, because my good mood is so infectious.” Ever notice how much more friendly and inviting a woman is whose smiling? A woman with a smile on her face seems much more approachable than a woman with a frown. Her smile tells you that she’s a friendly person.
And smiling is infectious. People have a natural reaction to smile when they see yours, making THEM feel open, friendly, and relaxed on the inside.
And it doesn’t matter whether you have a perfect smile or not. Scientific studies show that people respond to the ACT of your smile rather than how perfect it is or white your teeth are. The ACT of smiling is what shows to others that you’re friendly, open, and confident. The ACT of smiling is what triggers the good feelings in other people.
Smiling with the Sales Clerk
I’m not sure where I first learned the importance of smiling. My first direct experience with the profound effect of it was at a department store some years ago. At the time, I rarely smiled – hardly at all in fact. I was picking out some black dress shoes after work and at the time I felt happy and upbeat.
Well, the attractive sales clerk asked me what kind of shoes I wanted. I was in a good mood and gave her big smiles for really no reason at all. My infectious smiling mood rubbed off on her though. As I made my purchase, she asked me for my number.
Strange I thought, because that never happened to me before. Women never volunteered their number to me. In future weeks I wasn’t exactly sure what I did, and I couldn’t repeat it either.
The Story of Fred
The importance of smiling really clicked for me when I met Fred. Fred arched over everyone standing at 6 feet 4 inches tall, and looked young for his age of 38 years. But what stood out most about Fred, in fact you just couldn’t miss it, was the way he always gave a big warm smile on his face from cheek to cheek that made you just feel good.
Women flocked to Fred like bees around a beehive. He could enter a club packed with 100 guys and 10 ladies and come out with a beautiful woman on his arm, laughing, pressing herself against his chest. At the time I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.
So how did Fred do it? Other men would spend the entire night planning how and when to make their move and what opening line to use. Meanwhile, Fred would come in and seem to effortlessly meet a woman, isolate her all to himself, and have her smiling and laughing in no time.
It took me a while to realize it, but one of the primary characteristics that Fred had that no one else did was an expert command and control of his smile.
As soon as he came up to greet you, he was smiling, but not just smiling in general… he would beam his smile at YOU and you couldn’t help but smile back and feel he was just a friendly almost playful fellow. Unlike most of my friends who were shy about smiling, Fred always sauntered into a room with a smile on his face, like “I’m here! I’m open and friendly and confident!” His smile projected a positive, radiant energy that I’ve seen in very few people.
In a nutshell, when he approached a woman he looked her right in the eye and gave her a big smile. If she smiled back – and most women did because they could not but help to respond – he was in. I watched him seduce a 22-year old Brazilian calendar model right in front of my eyes… smiling about 90% of the time he talked to her.
The Story of Eric
Conversely, I knew another guy, Eric, whom women considered a pretty handsome guy. Tan, classic facial features, lustrous hair – nature blessed him with good genes. Oh yeah, and he was rich – drove a corvette, wore tailored designer clothes, a nice watch. The view of this guy’s apartment on the 17th floor overlooked two swimming pools and a river way that multi-million dollar private yachts docked at.
You’d think this guy would have had all the women in the world’s attention given his money and his looks. But he had one thing that he didn’t have going for him, which he could have easily fixed. He never smiled. In fact, he was embarrassed about his smile. Which was really strange particularly because he had white strait teeth and had nothing to be embarrassed about.
Even when women looked his way, which they did often enough, he wouldn’t smile, ever. If a woman smiled at him he wouldn’t smile back. He’d just remain mouth shut, slack jawed with a stern expression on his face. He did want to meet more women but he communicated the wrong nonverbal signals. He inadvertently communicated, “stay away from me” because he never smiled. And it’s the smile that tells a woman that you’re an open, friendly person.
You see, Eric didn’t need good looks or lots of money to create attraction in women. Your smile IS your attractiveness, your smile is what universally creates attraction in women on a subconscious level, on a level that they have no control over, on a level that they just automatically respond to. Your smile is the centerpiece to your presentation, everything else are just accessories.
Stern or Smile?
Unfortunately, like my friend Eric, most of us go about our lives with a stern, serious look on our faces. I was in the same boat and it crippled my social opportunities for years until I realized what I was doing wrong. Apparently I have a somewhat stern look as some people have asked me if I was angry or unhappy when I was actually in a good mood. Smiling has not only made me more approachable but also has increased the positive responses I get from others by tenfold.
Now just like learning to smile is a habit you learn, not smiling is also a habit you’ve learned. It may be the case you’ve learned not to smile at people. And you have to reprogram yourself to start doing it.