Want to meet more girls? Forget about trying to get social proof.
Forget about using social group as a strategy.
Because the idea of social proof is not good for your game. Social proof, the idea of social proof as a concept, can only serve to fuck you up and mess with your head in the field.
Let me explain. Real quick let’s do a review of what social proof is.
Basically, social proof can be when you talk to girls a and B. to impress girls C. Girls C watches as you may girls A and B laugh and have fun, and girl C becomes attracted to you.
Or social proof can be when all of the bouncers and bartenders in the club know you, they say hello to you, and a girl sees that and infers that you must be a cool guy. That’s social proof as well.
Or social proof can be embedded in a story that you tell to a girl. For example you tell a girl, “yeah I was dating this exotic dancer last year but she was just too crazy for me, she had these big fake boobs and whenever we’d go somewhere she’d have guys hitting on her and trying to get her number, and you know I’m kind of a jealous guy, so I had to end it with her because I want a more down-to-earth girl.”
So that’s embedding social proof within a story, that you know other attractive hot women, which is implied in the stories that you tell.
Basically social proof is when a woman can infer for that you are already socially accepted by other people, and that you have a value giving personality.
So social proof can manifest itself in many forms.
Number one, you open and talk to a bunch of women, get them laughing and smiling, and then you open and talk to an even more attractive girl, so that you open the more attractive girl already socially proofed.
Number two you go to up social party with the girls on your arm to begin with, so that the moment you walk into the room, you are already socially proofed, and your first sexual open more easily.
Or number three, you tell a story, like about hot girls that you’ve already dated. Or you use your phone to show women in the party photos of you with other girls.
Social proof. It sounds like a fantastic theory right?
But listen, here is why you have to forget about social.
Social Proof Theory And Analysis Paralysis
If you go to a bar or club and you consciously start thinking that you need a social proof to get these girls, or you start thinking how much easier it would be to pick up if you first get some social proof, that will only put you massively inside your head and psyche you out.
For example, you see the hot girl that you liked, girl C, and you think yourself, “I am too low value, and this girl is so high value, that’s I need to talk to other lower value girls first, girls A and B first, to social proof myself, before I can talk to girl C.”
But look if you have this kind of thought process, this kind of mentality, you’re being super analytical. Most likely, your feeling approach anxiety. And most likely, you’re going to have trouble approaching any women, even girls A and B, if you’re that inside your head, thinking in sneaky terms and being so thought based tactical.
Look, even if you did approach girls A and B first and hit it off with them, girl C is most likely having her own fun and won’t even notice you anyway. She might not be looking your way, or she may go to the bathroom, or she may get distracted by her friends.
And even if girls C does notice you hitting it off with girls A and B, just because she notices you as being preselected, as being socially proofed, that doesn’t mean that she’ll automatically start giving you indicators of interest like eye contact, or give you a big smile.
In most cases, you have no way of knowing if you’re tactical social proof sneakiness is working.
But let’s say girl C does give you indicators of interest like direct eye contact or big smile. Well, because you had approach anxiety and initially, because he didn’t feel like you were worthy of her in the first place, just because she gives you a smile doesn’t mean that your approach anxiety will go away.
After all, you didn’t feel that you were enough to be worthy of her as just you. You felt that she only likes you if you had some great social proof.
Even when you get the social proof, the reality is, you still won’t feel worthy of her. You see, social proof doesn’t solve the core problem. Your inner lack, your inner sense of self worthiness. having social proof for a few minutes doesn’t fix your inner sense of deservedness that you deserve and are worth is hot girl.
What I’m saying is, even being socially proofed, you’ll still had approach anxiety and probably chicken out approaching her anyway, even with social.
In fact, if you’re thinking about social proof as your strategy or as a tactic, you’ll probably a suffering from anxiety and analysis paralysis and you won’t be able to approach girls A and B in the first place. Most likely, by thinking about social proof, you’ll just have analysis paralysis from the very beginning, you won’t feel worthy of being there, and it will be just over.
How Social Proof Theory Becomes An Excuse
Even more likely, and I seen this a lot, is that this intellectual concepts of social proof as a tactic, only becomes an excuse for not approaching.
You see a hot girl, and you think yourself, “I can’t approach her yet, because I don’t have enough social proof yet!”
And then, even when he talk to some other nearby girls and you become somewhat socially proofed, you see your dream girl again, and you think yourself, “did she notice that I was talking to these other two girls? Maybe she didn’t notice, maybe I don’t have enough social proof yet.”
So happens is you still don’t approach the girl! What happens is, you never end up approaching the girl. Because you’re always second-guessing yourself, if the social proof has worked yet. Because in your heart you don’t feel worthy of this woman.
So while getting social proof as a tactic, sounds good in theory, as a tactic inside your head, to be consciously used, social proof is bogus. It will backfire on you, in most cases, for most guys.
Social Proof Theory Is Not The Deciding Factor
Even take an idealized scenario where social proof comes in to play at a tactic.
You’ve worked the entire room. The girl that you’re after, has seen you being socially accepted by everyone else and has seen you eliciting great reactions and giving value to everyone you meet. Your socially proofed and you know it and you know the girl you’re after is massively attractive to you.
But even if your socially proofed, if you have an inner week and shifting reality, for example as soon as your dream girl gives you some resistance, you just want to bail out of the set, or you don’t persist, or your feelings and emotions are like a leaf blowing in the wind, you’re still desperate for her approval, you’ll come across as needy and unattractive.
Even though your social proof gets your foot into the door, if not ultimately what makes you attractive over the long haul of the interaction, it’s not what makes you attractive throughout the rest of the social interaction, route the next 20 minutes.
Social proof, it can give you a golden glow, but if you still don’t feel inner worthiness to have hot women, the woman will feel that and lose attraction for.
What I’m saying is, social proof can generate some initial attraction, but it is not a deciding factor in whether you actually get laid. Not at all.
I mean, I know guys, natural guys, don’t know any tactics about game, but they get laid quite frequently. And they clearly don’t have social proof.
I myself, I don’t even think about having social proof. I’ll go into a club and hit up hottest girls I can grab to warm up. No social proof.
It’s the very fact that I went up to the hottest girls, as a man with a Dick with no apologies, and standing my ground, that they can become worthy of me and my attention, that makes me attractive to them. No social proof required.
It’s the fact that I don’t use social proof as a tactic or is a conscious thought process, the very fact that social proof doesn’t exist for me as an excuse not to approach the hottest girls, that ironically is what allows me to get massive social proof in the 1st Pl.
Because I’m the first guy talking to the hottest girls in the whole club, and whether it goes great or whether it goes nowhere, now I’m the most social proofed mother fucker in the whole room.
Social proof is something that might just naturally happen throughout the night, if you’re not thinking about it, if it’s not a tactic. That’s the best way to get social proof, is to approach beautiful women, despite your lack of social proof. And not to use lack of social proof as an excuse not to approach the hottest women.
In other words, social proof is not useful as a concept inside your head for strategizing in the field. That will only backfire on you. You have to forget about this idea of social proof completely and just let what happens at.
If you become socially proofed, that’s fine, but it doesn’t affect what you’re going to do, it doesn’t affect what actions are going to take, it doesn’t affect who you’re going to open. You want to approach women with indicators of interest or not, or being socially proofed or not.
Social Proof Theory In Day game
And besides, for day game, for meeting women in malls or on the street, there is no such thing as social proof because all of your interactions are purely one-on-one. So you have to learn to approach women anyway without the crotch of being socially proofed if you want to do day game successfully.
Social Proof Theory In Stories
And even throwing social proof into your stories, like that you once dated a hot exotic dancer… if that really happened, and it’s part of you and you enjoy telling the story, great. But otherwise, if you’re just making shit up, you’re basically acting. And acting cannot last you’re going to eventually feel fake and feel phony about it over time. Like the girls are just liking you for a routine and not for the real you.
And putting social proof consciously into stories as a tactic, it’s the same reason that typical guys feel like they need to talk about their “great job” or their car, or how much money they make to impress women. Because typical guys, they don’t feel like they themselves are enough, they don’t feel an inner sense of worthiness.
Putting social proof into stories, like you dated in exotic dancer, is trying to get a good reaction from a girl, trying to impress her, when in reality, you want to get the girl reacting to you, even if you’re an accountant and you love talking about numbers. Even if the real you is almost anti-social proof. But you want to get hot women liking you for the real you, even if it’s about cooking, or numbers, or playing basketball, or whatever, not because of some phony story about an exotic dancer. You don’t need to make up stories about strippers to get a girl like you.
The Social Proof Paradox
Now I’m not saying that being social proofed his bad, or that talking with girls who aren’t your favorite girls is bad. Far from that. You should love talking to other girls around your target. I’m talking to the other guys around your target. That’s just called being social. That’s just called being dominant. That’s just called leading the group. That’s his call being socially normal.
Just be social. Forget about social proof. And the social proof will come. But if you use social proof as a conscious tactic, as a thought process that must be consciously held on to, that you try to be consciously aware of as a tactic, you stifle the natural blossoming of becoming socially proofed, because you’re putting it into the realm of thought and analysis, which will only result in anxiety, in paralysis, sneakiness, anti-socialness, and become an excuse not to approach, and sabotaging.
And this is an example of how the reckless disaster method differs completely from all the other pickup programs out there.
Because I’ll be giving you the exercises to become a sex where the guy, so that you can open an act without looking for permission, without looking first to be socially proofed, and therefore generate hard attraction in women, and becoming socially proofed naturally for the kind of man you are.
Not using social proof is as a tactic, not looking to social proof to give you permission to do anything, not looking to social proof to act. But to put social proof in its proper place. Not something to be inside your head, or something to be thinking about. The less consciousness about social proof that you have, the better.
8 thoughts on “How Social Proof Theory Can RUIN Your Game And Chances With Women”
good thoughts, at the end of the day you just need to be you if you want to have the most success
good thoughts, at the end of the day you just need to be you
I think the main point of your article is Very Important. However, I have to disagree to forgo the social proof altogether. You can’t toss out something that Can be very effective in some situations just because Some People don’t have the confidence to make good use of it and it can back fire or semi-back-fire.
Essentially, I would say, don’t Rely on social proof. Weave it in there when the time is right on some occasions, but yes, increase your social proof — not as THE strategy, but as anything else that can help improve your value.
I think there should be caution in relying on it — I totally agree with you there. But to ditch it? It comes in many different flavors, with many different opportunities. Just don’t use it as your walking cane…. and when you’re a rookie to this all, don’t worry about it until you get some other things down pat (awkward situations, learning to accept rejection, the right approach, etc.)
Jesse – Thanks for sharing ideas outside the normal pua box
Cool man, thanks for piping in
so you have remove this article:The Ultimate Pickup Technique: Social Proof.
I agree with forgetting the social proof theory because i belief pick up/being atractive in practice doesn’t require analitical thinking and also thinking about the social proof makes you conformist/rapport seeker/fake/not being yourself
Yes, I’ve got another article explaining what social proof is. It’s good to understand what’s going on, without dwelling on it or using it as a tactic. Glad you liked the post 😛
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