Do you know who Milton Erickson is?
Neither did I, for a looooong time. Truth be told, though, he’s a kind of important guy when it comes to seducing women “undercover”. You see, he’s the father of modern clinical hypnosis.
You know what he did? His patients weren’t even aware they were being hypnotized, yet they all had these major breakthroughs usually around a week after Erickson did his thing.
Here’s how it worked.
Milton believed you need two things for hypnosis to take affect:
First, you need to create Safety and Comfort. Second, you need trust.
And Erickson achieved that in a simple way.
He’d say something like “I know that you’re concerned with your problem… and you’ve been working at it for some time now. And even though you are sitting in that chair, breathing in and out, you may start to notice how the more relaxed you allow yourself to become, the smaller your problem seems to be.”
Whoa. Let’s take another look at that, in slo-mo.
Erickson creates a feeling of safety and comfort by expressing concern about his client – which suggests he’s not going to try and hurt him.
Then, he creates a feeling of trust by making true statements.
I know that sounds crazy, and that the true statements aren’t anything special, but the important thing is that he named them and brought them from the client’s unconscious knowledge of himself and his surroundings into the conscious level. And each time he did that, the client in his mind said “Yes!”
What were the true statements?
1. The client is concerned with the problem.
2. The client has been working on the problem.
3. The client is sitting in a chair.
4. The client is breathing in and out.
Simple stuff, right? But each time Erickson did this, he brought the client to say “Yes!”… and over the course of his introduction, his client gets used to saying “Yes!” He sees the pattern of Erickson’s correctness, and thus slowly begins to TRUST Erickson’s statements.
He wants to keep saying “Yes!”
So when Erickson moves on and says “..notice how the more relaxed you allow yourself to become, the smaller your problem seems to be.” And the client says “Yes!” And now he’s ready to be led by Erickson through various suggestions and agree with them.
Great, you’re thinking, just what you wanted, a psych lesson. But the truth is, this is VERY important stuff when dealing with women.
Why? I’m not saying you should break out a pocket watch and start reciting “You’re getting very sleepy…” but the truth is hypnosis isn’t nearly as mystical and difficult as the public makes it out to be.
In fact, most people are at least a little hypnotized most of the time.
Hypnosis is merely the leading of a person to a suggestion, while disengaging the logical mind.
You could even say it is a quieting of the rational mind, and a nudging of the emotional one.
And it’s very rhythmic, because humans like rhythms and patterns and will generally tend to go along with a rhythm until something disrupts it.
So when you’re getting into music, that’s a kind of hypnosis.
Watching TV, same thing (especially commercials).
Even most conversation has a cadence and a hypnotizing aspect to it.
So now, when I tell you that you should use these sorts of techniques when picking up women, you shouldn’t think you need to take a course nor twist her mind.
You should just learn to GUIDE it.
So how do you create the safety and comfort? Well, to begin with, if you’re approaching a girl for the first time, DO NOT do anything usual.
No pick-up lines. No playing super-smooth. No checking her out and raising your eyebrow to your friend.
All these things stink of a cheap pick-up, and the woman will run as far away as she can. Not good.
However, if you come up to her feeling comfortable YOURSELF, that aura will rub off on her.
Second, focus on DETAILS. They don’t need to be complex, but as long as you’re introducing a truth into her consciousness – and saying something unusual – you’re pinning yourself as sensitive to the world around him (not the wimp kind of sensitive – the kind women actually like) AND different, more observational than other guys.
And as you make observations that lead her to say “Yes!” in her head, she’ll grow to TRUST you.
I’m not telling you to misrepresent yourself. The best way to be trusted is to be trustworthy – if you’re not, the woman will figure it out quick enough.
But trust usually takes time to establish, and when you’re first meeting a girl, you don’t have the time. You need an IMMEDIATE positive impression.
So do what the Doctor does. Lead her with comments that make her say “Yes!” and she’s MUCH more likely to start trusting you – and to want to KEEP saying “Yes!”
An example of this stealth method:
“I know you don’t know me (yes), but I saw you sitting here waiting for you friend (yes) and enjoying your drink (yes), and I noticed you have a really nice aura about you. Do you work with helping people or something like that?”
Now, you’ve given her three true statements, and a fourth that is complimentary and that she’s eager to say yes to. Whatever she does, she’ll probably be quite receptive to your question, and bam, you’re into a conversation.
Keep her inner voice saying yes, and it will turn into trust. And link you with truth and, by extension, SINCERITY.
Very safe, comfortable, and secure.
Now, add in a little of that magical playfulness, and she won’t get bored (like most sincere guys make her, most of the time), and she’ll have a very warm feeling about you and WANT to keep talking.
Combine this with previous concepts we’ve talked about, and you can just about GUARANTEE you’ll have positive experiences with all the women you approach – even if they’re happily in love, they’ll still be receptive and warm. And it’s all stealth – you’re not being obvious about it.
Just avoid being boring from there on out, and you’re ready to start kicking things up notches.
This is fairly advanced and subtle, but combine it with all the basics you already know, and your responses will become PHENOMENAL.
I call this stealth seduction. Enjoy it.