An escalation ladder is basically where you begin with small touches, and increasing get more physical until you kiss the girl.
After you initiate touching the girl, there are THREE types of physical moves you’ll want to make to create an escalation ladder.
Those three types of moves are, normal escalation, pushing, and moving.
And to really create HARD attraction in your escalation ladder, all three types of physical moves – escalation, pushing, and moving – will need be there in the social interaction. So let me explain.
Type #1. Physical Escalation
We’ll start with the first type of physical move, escalation.
As you talk to the girl in that bar and club, to create hard attraction you must escalate the physical touching.
Where you are always physically escalating up the ladder, shamelessly. A slow, steady, constant, physical escalation, where you the push the boundaries.
This can be hugging the girl, giving her a high five, taking her by the hand and giving her a spin like a ballerina, massaging her fingers, playful thumb wrestling, putting your arm around her shoulder, playfully poking her, dancing with her where she’s standing, picking her up off the floor and spinning her once around. All examples of physical escalating up the ladder.
Type #2. Pushing Her Away
The second type of touch is just the opposite of escalation, it’s pushing away.
And you want to push the girl away, so that she has the opportunity to also game YOU. Because even she’s lightly attracted to you, unless she’s chasing YOU, she’s not going to bed with you.
If you’re just touching her and touching her and touching her and you never relent, it will start to feel awkward.
Like if you took a girl by the hand as you met her, and you never let go. You just kept massaging her hand, kept massaging, kept massaging, it would start to feel weird after a while.
It would be far more effective to start massaging her hand and then playfully push her away, and then grab her and pull her back in to you.
Or let’s say there was this cute girl that you really liked. And she came up to you and she put her hand on your butt and squeezed it as she told you that she thought you were cute. You that would be nice, wouldn’t it? But then, she just kept squeezing your butt. And she kept squeezing your butt more. And you told her it was feeling a bit weird now… but she KEPT squeezing your butt anyway. As much as you liked the girl, you’d want to push her away at some point.
Like it would be far more effective if she squeezed your butt and then pushed YOU away, and then escalated perhaps by taking your hand or doing something different.
So while you want to be escalating on the escalation ladder, shamelessly, steadily, with touch, touch, touch, and more touch, you also want to CREATE SPACE to give the girl the opportunity to game YOU.
So it’s not “I love you, I love you, I love you,” it’s more like “I love you, maybe not, I love you, maybe not, I love you, maybe not”. That just keeps her on her toes and guessing and trying to win you over.
So even if you’re doing 90% or 80% of the physical chasing, you have to give her those opportunities to chase you back.
I’m going to give you a sample pattern that I use to pull a girl in and then push her away.
You say to the girl, “Oh my god… your EYES are so cute… and your lips… wait, wait, what are you doing to me… you’re like this temptation I have to resist…”
And then you nudge her back with a slight push. And then you grab her hands and pull her back in, and say, “Wait… on the other hand you’re EYES are so cute…”
“Stop it! Stop it! I shouldn’t be doing this, what are you doing to me!” And you push her back, like a mock rejection.
Just something simple like that, to create some space and give the girl the opportunity to chase you.
Type #3. Moving Her
The third and final type of physical move is MOVING her.
Yes, you need to actually physically move the girl around the bar or club or party. It doesn’t matter where. It could be moving her from the dance floor over to the bar, or moving her just 3 feet over. It doesn’t matter where.
It’s just taking her by the hand and physically moving her a few feet away or across the room.
And you can lead the girl around ALL night, or as long as you keep up the social interaction with her.
Most guys aren’t aware of this, but moving a girl is HUGE for creating hard attraction. It’s because by moving her position, you’re dominating the interaction, leading her, and she is submitting to your direction.
Because moving her around a lot will send the girl’s state through the ROOF and make her want to chase you down.
And you need to move her at least once anyway, because you’ve got to eventually get her separated, isolated away from her friends. Because she’s not going to want to make out with you or get intimate with you in front of them.
So you want to isolate the girl from her friends when energy the in the set is good and you want to isolate sooner rather than later.
It’s simple, you can just casually say to the girl, “Hey come outside with me” or “Hey, walk me to the bathroom” or “Hey, I have something to show you”.
Or you can charm her friends to get them on your side. You just tell the girl, “Listen, tell your friends you’re walking with me to XYZ and we’ll be right back.” Or tell her friends, “I really like your friend here, I don’t know why, but I feel like we’re really on the same page with a lot of things.”
And after you say that, just take your girl’s hand and you begin walking. You don’t even have to look back, you just go. Move her, lead her. That’s masculine dominance.
So that’s isolating, getting her separated from her friends… but remember, you want to be physically moving the girl around more than that, you want to be moving her a LOT. NOT just to isolate her. It’s a continual process. Even if you’re just moving her over by 3 feet. You want to be moving her because it creates huge, HARD attraction.
The Kiss Move
Now to finish off your physical escalation ladder. Most guys will kiss the girl, make-out with the girl tongue to tongue, but I don’t recommend this. Not at all.
Actually, don’t make out with your girl in a club or party if you’ve just met her.
Because the next day the girl will feel regretful about it, she’ll fear she’s been a bar slut who made out with a total stranger. And when you try to contact her for a second date, she will push you away or avoid you completely.
INSTEAD, you want to smell and then kiss and bite the girl’s neck.
Think the neck, not the lips.
The human neck is loaded with bundles of nerves, just like the hands and face, so it’s a very sensual, intimate place for a woman to be touched. Normally the only person kissing a woman’s neck, will be a lover. So as soon as you touch her neck, you are in the lover category.
And light neck kissing builds the sexual tension to screaming white hot molten lava, without making her feel strange or slutty like a tongue-to-tongue make-out would.
She can leave the party that night and start thinking about how nice it would be to get that first kiss from you. It gets her equally hot and intimate, and yet leaves more to her imagination for next time. So it’s far more likely that she’ll be thinking about you over the night, wanting to chase you down for the first kiss, and far more likely that she’ll make herself available to meet you on that day 2 date.
So this is how you execute your finishing move. You lean in and you smell her hair first. You say, “Hmmm, you smell soooo nice.” Then you move down from her hair to her neck and smell here there.
Then you begin lightly, delicately, barely touching her skin with your lips, with teasingly light kissing and lightly biting her neck.
THEN you push her away. The PUSH. Remember, you need to give her SPACE so that she has the chance to chase you as well. You say, “Oh my god girl, what are you doing to me girl… you are such an evil temptation. Oh my god stop it — you are dangerous for me.”
That sequence, will drive a woman absolutely fucking CRAZY with HARD attraction and get her chasing you across the Earth into the bed, if that’s what it takes.
Summary Of Your Escalation Ladder
So let’s summarize here real quick. There are 3 types of physical moves, and you want all 3 ideally to create solid, hard attraction.
Number 1, physically escalating.
Number 2, pushing her away
And number 3, moving her.
And you finish it off by smelling her hair, smelling her neck, and then lightly kissing and biting with a push away to allow her to chase.
Voila. That’s how you execute.
Now the hard part isn’t in the moves, it’s in your head. Wanting to be the nice guy that is liked by everyone, that is liked by the girl at all costs will be your biggest barrier. So I want you to remember 3 old rules here.
Escalation Rule #1: Be Reckless!
Remember that being Reckless means trying to create havoc and chaos. Being Reckless means trying to create a social disaster and cleaning up the mess LATER. Being Reckless means acting without permission even if it means that the girl won’t like you.
And Reckless game is VERY physical. VERY physical. At least in bar, club, social party situation you want to get fucking PHYSICAL if you’re after hard attraction.
So you need to make bold moves, no what if scenarios. Because if you don’t make them, yeah you’ll get some LIGHT attraction, but LIGHT attraction is generally NOT enough to make the girl follow you into bed. Light attraction to sex is a BIG jump. No, you need that HARD attraction where you’re molesting the girl and biting the girl’s neck and also allowing her SPACE to chase after YOU.
And it’s the bad boy Rake who is going to win the girl. Because if you don’t fucking care, she won’t fucking care.
And I don’t care what physical moves you make to get there, you don’t need to memorize an exact sequence or something. Because it’s not the moves you make, it’s just important that you make moves. Because ALL physical touch triggers that Oxytocin response in the woman either way.
And you can’t wait for the girls permission. You’ve got to just make that first move and escalate even if it seems like she’s not that interested. Don’t wait for the frame, YOU must create the frame and own and dominate it!
Escalation Ladder Rule #2: Be Unreactive
When escalating your touch up the escalation ladder, have a complete disregard for her reactions.
That means within 2 minutes, you’re hugging this girl or picking up this girl and spinning her around… relentless physical contact even if she pretends she isn’t into it.
Just make an excuse for everything you do. If she says anything, you just misinterpret it as a compliment. Like you say to brush it off, “Well, that’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me!” Or you can misinterpret her by saying, “Jeez, you’re too cute, what am I going to do with you.” And you give her a hug. And you just continue, not reacting to her. Persistence.
Being unreactive, an example. You open and approach the girl saying “Hey you!”. And you hug her, you pick her up from floor, you dance with her, you spin her around. And none of your failed attempts to kiss her cheek and bite her neck seem to stop you from trying again and again and again.
That’s acting Recklessly, that’s acting without permission, that’s acting NOT to be liked, but to create a social disaster that can blow up. But that’s what girls like.
Escalation Ladder Rule #3: Trust In Your Actions
Trust is being in a headspace where you don’t second guess yourself and you’re not calculating your moves. You touch without hesitation, you take actions and speak with certainty and conviction.
So just chill and trust that every move you make is right. You don’t need elaborate plans or tactics or sequences to manipulate the girl. Just touch and take action. And it doesn’t matter the moves you make as long as you make moves.
And everything you do, you can do decisively because you know it’s the right thing to do, because all moves attract the girl, you cannot get blown out from over-escalating. Just like when you trust that “whatever you say has value”, everything you do has value and is cool and is the right thing.
9 thoughts on “Touch Escalation Ladders: The Definitive Guide”
Reading this lesson has taught me a lot ive been a failure with women all my life.and had to settle.I hope for opportunities to use these tactics. I work in a place where I meet lots of women but im short and find it hard to create attraction with women.The other night I met a oriental women,we were checking out a loaf of bread together standing arm to arm,but being the nice guy that I am,failed to connect with the attractive women who I would have loved to have some connection with her,but lost out on a opportunity
I’m a sexy, well-educated grown female who has been studying the science of flirting since high school. And I must say, this is great advice and spot on TRUTH. Knowing myself and my gender, I know some, especially young women (meaning in their 20s, just in general) may disagree, either out of honesty because they’re not there yet with their own sexual acceptance, ignorance of knowing themselves or being honest with themselves and how they would react or have reacted, and/or defensiveness because they do know themselves and are in denial because they recognize themselves here and take it as a personal affront or upset because they feel they were “fooled”, manipulated into doing whatever the guy following the methods above wanted them to do, and women have a lot of pride in their struggle to be independent and respected. I probably would have flipped the f out if I saw this in my 20s. But I’m slightly older, wiser, and enjoying my role in this now well-known dance of seduction, and I appreciate and enjoy when it is executed well. Thank you for disseminating this information in a straightforward, yet respectful way, only addressing the factual biological and social impulses and characteristics of both genders equally without judgement, belittling or arrogance. Well done.
im interested in purchasing your program program but not the monthly updates.is it a series of cds that are shipped or can i simply download it
you can download the program. also, you don’t need the monthly series, when you see the big bright yellow box, make sure that the white checkbox is UNCHECKED
Hey Jess,Vin Dicarlo has a concept called “The DEL”,Vin Dicarlo’s Escalation Ladder.
I was wondering if your concept on physical escalation was patterned after his.
Never heard of that… I wouldn’t be surprised though if there were many similarities
my woman was very pleased when i did this on her
sweet man 😀
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