Nothing can replace actually going out in the field and practicing. That said, a LOT of learning CAN be done from, well, anywhere. If you can create a realistic world within your head, you can practice all sorts of scenarios, hone your skills, and learn what will work and what won’t. Think of it as your own private holodeck.
If you EVER berate yourself when things aren’t going the way you want them to, you’re holding yourself back. You’re framing the situation in a way GUARANTEED to fall short.
You’re thinking only of the end goal, not the journey.
You’re thinking of failure, not learning.
And you’ll NEVER learn without mistakes, and you’ll NEVER continue if you see those mistakes as failures.
What everyone needs when picking up ANY new skill is practice. This practice is a little harder to stick to, because when you err it’s in front of at least one other person, instead of alone in your room with your guitar or whatever.
But you’ve GOT to fight through that. You’ve GOT to practice like your sex life depended on it – which of course, it does.
The brain is one of most amazing things we’ve ever discovered in the universe – it’s complex, brilliant, and fascinating.
But the brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination.
In other words, if you look at a picture of a triangle or you imagine the same triangle eyes closed, your brain lights up in the exact same way. If you make a free throw or you just imagine making a free throw, same thing.
No matter WHAT the task, action, or object, the reality of it and the VISUALIZATION of it are IDENTICAL within your head.
Now that doesn’t mean you can just sit your ass on the couch and IMAGINE picking up girls, because you need more than just your brain to get success.
You need your body to remember the right posture, and gestures, and that comes from real world practice.
You also have all sorts of anxiety triggers which work in VERY different ways when dealing with a real world situation, so you need actual practice to get to know and control THOSE, and build your confidence.
Nevertheless, visualization is a HUGELY powerful tool, used by just about anyone who has ever achieved success in a field.
Ray Kroc, founder of MickyD’s? Used it. Ted Williams? Credited most of his hits to visualization. Beethoven? The man was deaf when he wrote his 5th Symphony, for god’s sake, how do you think he did it?
The visual rehearsal exercise will allow you to program your future and reprogram the past mistakes you’ve made with women so that you can pick up women on automatic pilot like a pro.
- Relax, take a deep breath, and close your eyes.
- Think of a mistake you’ve made with a woman in the past that you would like to avoid in the future.
- Imagine one of those times where you made this mistake with a woman before.
- Imagine going back in time 10 seconds before you made the mistake. Freeze this image!
- As an observer, give yourself the advice you need for the event to happen the way you really wanted it to.
- Now, as if the event were a movie that you’re watching, play the new event forward in your mind. Notice how differently the event turns out this time.
- Now run the movie again, only this time, insert yourself into the movie.
- See, hear, and feel everything that’s taking place. Make it as real and vivid and juicy as you possibly can.
- Now imagine a time in the future when you will enjoy this positive result. Insert yourself in it and imagine how this future event turns out in exactly the same way like how you programmed it in the past.
- Count to yourself from 1 to 5, saying, “Now I will count from 1 to 5. And when I do, I will awaken, feeling much better than I have ever felt before…1… 2… 3… 4… 5.” Slowly open your eyes.
It’s not enough to picture the girl’s face and hear her words and yours. The more detailed the picture, the truer the experience.
Take the time to build up the environment in your mind. What’s on the wall? What music is playing? Where are you sitting or standing, and who’s nearby? The more detailed you can get, the better.
Once you’ve got a fairly sound environment, go ahead and play out the encounter. First person, third person, doesn’t matter. Observe what worked. Especially observe what didn’t.
After you’ve recreated everything, go back and CHANGE the movie here and there. Use a new opener. Change your follow up to make it more funny, more playful, whatever would be an improvement on the original.
The nice thing about this after-the-fact visualization is we humans are actually quite intelligent creatures – especially when it comes to social situations – and, given your previous contact and experience, you’ll usually be able to guess RIGHT about how any particular woman will react as you switch the stimuli around.
So you can use visualization to change one encounter, one practice, into MULTIPLE encounters – basically without limit. Flirt away, with ZERO repercussions and a chance to see how all sorts of material actually play out in the “field.”
Post-practice is the best way to improve, but pre-practice visualization is the best way to get into the right state THAT NIGHT.
VERY few things can up your confidence more dramatically than knowing EXACTLY what you’re going to do before you do it, and having a pretty good idea of what will happen as a result.
THIS is the sort of visualization most often practiced by sports figures, the way they get ready for a game.
If you’ve ever played baseball at anything above little league level, you know coaches will tell you to IMAGINE your home run, to SEE the pitch, play it out enough that you KNOW what it’ll be and you KNOW exactly what you’re going to do with it.
You want to do the same thing with the ladies. Create the environment you’ll be entering, and again, play out various tactics, comments, and scenarios before you head out the door. See how they all go.
And the more you practice before, during, and after encounters, the better you’ll get at ALL aspects of seduction.
Remember to keep it fun, and get out there. Practice in the real world most of all – but use the ones constructed inside your head as the dress rehearsal.