Your Complete Guide to HIV – What Are The REAL Risks From Sleeping With Girls?

HIV has been something of a godsend to socially conservative groups who see sex as sin.

They use the threat of the disease to scare people into equating sex with death.

Consequently, alot of misinformation gets out by groups with ulterior motives other than educating the public.

For example most recently, U.S. Senator Bill Frist mentioned on a television talk show that he “didn’t know” if HIV could be transmitted through tears or sweat, and that it “would be very hard… I mean, you can get virus in tears and sweat but in terms of the degree of infecting somebody, it would be very hard.”

But just because there are a lot of politicans and interest groups with religious motives to exaggerate the risks – there still ARE risks and you should be aware of them.

HIV is a virus that replicates and multiples in the white blood cells, cells responsible for fighting off diseases. Technically, you don’t get sick or die from the HIV virus itself.

What happens is that once the HIV virus replicates in enough numbers, your immune system is weakened and you can catch exotic, life threatening infections that no healthy person would ever normally catch.

You have “AIDS” once your immune system has been sufficiently compromised to catch life threatening illnesses such as cancer, pneumonia, and tuberculosis.

The good news is that the chance of catching HIV from unprotected vaginal sex with an HIV+ positive woman is relatively low.

Your Chances Of Catching HIV

It’s estimated that your chance of catching HIV through vaginal sex from an HIV+ positive woman is about 1 in 300 to about 1 in 1,000, depending on the research group you ask.

Some studies indicate that the chances may be even less; as little as 1 in 10,000 from infected women to men through vaginal sex.

Keep in mind, those are the odds when having sex with an HIV+ positive woman unprotected!

The chance of catching HIV from receiving oral sex is considered nearly non-existent. In fact, there are no known documented cases of a man catching HIV from receiving oral sex.

HIV is actually a delicate virus, and doesn’t survive in the harsh environment of the woman’s mouth and saliva. As long as you don’t have open cuts on your penis, and she’s not bleeding profusely from the gums, you’re safe.

What about giving a woman oral sex, cunnilingus? Again, it’s extremely difficult to catch HIV from an HIV+ positive woman by giving her cunnilingus unless your gums are bleeding or she’s menstruating into your mouth.

Still, vaginal fluid can contain small amounts of the virus. You can always reduce your chances from extremely low to absolute zero if you use a dental dam.

So what are your chances of nailing a girl who has HIV?

In the United States, about 1 in 300 Americans are infected with the HIV virus. But you have to look at the demographic group you’re dealing with. A random, middle-aged Caucasian gay man is statistically more likely to have HIV than an 18-year old straight, Caucasian girl.

And a lot of people who are infected know they are, and will tell you.

So let’s play with the russian roulette odds for a moment.

(P.S. If you’re scared about HIV, check out my Soul Mates Formula program (click here), so that you can quickly get the RIGHT girl for you and have as much hot, raw, and yet SAFE sex as you want)

Let’s say you randomly pick up a girl off the street and she sleeps with you. The two of you have one encounter of unprotected, vaginal sex.

Let’s say that no one has ever been tested. No one knows if they’re infected or not. And let’s go with the national statistics and say there’s a 1 in 300 chance she has HIV.

And let’s use the more conservative estimate for vaginal female to male transmission – again, about a 1 in 300 chance.

Your chance of catching HIV from the single encounter is about 1 in 300 times 1 in 300.

That comes to about a 1 in 90,000 chance of being infected. (However, your chances of catching HIV from an HIV+ positive woman increases if you give her anal sex).

All the research studies say that condoms are highly effective in reducing the risk of transmission. With a condom, your chance of catching HIV from vaginal sex falls effectively to zero.

The risk of transmission is much higher from a man to a woman than it is from a woman to a man. Sperm carries the HIV virus and is more likely to infect a woman through micro tears in her vaginal tract.

And sperm unloaded into a woman’s anal track during anal sex is the most dangerous of all; the anal tract is most likely to have small tears that allow the virus to enter the bloodstream. In fact, some studies estimate that the chance of an anal-receptive woman catching HIV from an HIV+ positive man may be as high as 10% per encounter.

Getting HIV is not automatically a death sentence. If you have access to modern (and expensive) anti-viral treatments, you can reasonably expect to easily live 20 to 30 or more years with the virus. And by that time, hopefully and most likely there will be more advanced and effective treatments extending life spans even further.

However, the anti-viral treatments are expensive and can make you feel tired, weak, and sick. And you’ll have to monitor your condition with repeat visits to the doctor. Even worse, you’ll lose the ability to ever have unprotected sex without seriously putting your sexual partners at risk of catching it too.

The real danger with HIV today is catching it and not knowing that you have it.

You can easily go on for five years feeling no symptoms. Then, all of a sudden, you get sick and weak for seemingly mysterious reasons. You get hit by a life threatening infectious disease. The doctors diagnose you with HIV, but over the years your immune system has been seriously compromised – it’s progressed to AIDS and you have a 30% chance of dying from the opportunistic infection that afflicts you. In the meantime, you’ve spread it to your girlfriend.

Even worse, HIV is no longer one strand. Viruses mutate and “super strands” have appeared. Today there are at least five known strands of HIV – A, B, C, D, and E.

In North America, the “benevolent” strand A is by far the most common. However, strand E has been spreading throughout Asia like wild fire recently.

Strand E is a much more hardy form of the virus than strand A and spreads from person to person much more easily. Whereas with “old fashioned” strand A, the chance of spreading from an HIV+ positive woman to a man during a single vaginal intercourse is no more than 1 in 300, with strand E your chance of catching the virus are more like 1 in 30 to 1 in 50!

Consider strand E a nasty “super mutant” version of the virus.

Currently, less than 1% of North Americans who are HIV+ positive have the E strand. That might change in the future however.

Managing Your Risk

The mistake a lot of guys make is that they think they’re safe because they’re with a “clean girl”.

Even if your “clean girl” has had only one male sex partner before you, that male sex partner could have slept with ten other girls… or who knows… ten other guys!

Also, women have every incentive to LIE about the number of sex partners they’ve been with before. Women in general don’t want you to think of them as a slut so will underreport the number of previous sex partners they’ve had. I met one 19-year old girl who claimed she had had only three sex partners previously; later she revised her number up to 17!

Remember, statistically, you are safer having had one-time protected sex with 100 street prostitutes of unknown status than repeated, unprotected sex with your “clean girl” of unknown status.

That being said, having had unprotected sex with girl doesn’t mean you have HIV.

In fact, given the odds, it’s highly unlikely that you are infected.

But we are talking about odds.

You might want to get tested just for the heck of it. It doesn’t hurt. Most likely your test will come out negative. If it doesn’t, and you want to live a long life, it’s best to know right away before the virus has a chance to damage your immune system. At least then you’ll have a very good chance of living a long life.

Remember, the worst case scenario is having it and not knowing it while it attacks your immune system.

If you do get tested, it takes 4 to 6 weeks after your possible exposure for the test to be generally accurate. After 12 weeks of the possible exposure, the test will be 97% to 99% accurate. You usually have to wait a few days after the test to get the results.

I got tested and it came out negative. Yes, it was nerve racking waiting for the results… but nothing makes you think about and appreciate your life more than that HIV test!!!

What I Recommend

Don’t put yourself into the nerve racking position of having to guess whether you might have been exposed to HIV… and having to wait an agonizing six weeks to get an accurate test… and sitting in the doctor’s room while he hands the results down on you.

Believe me, it SUCKS.

Even though the odds are low, the psychological stress is NOT worth it.

Use a condom. But most of all use a condom because, besides HIV, there’s a lot of other nuisance STDs that you can catch MUCH more easily than HIV – like genital warts and genital herpes.

What a wonderful period of human history we live in when you have to put a balloon on your penis!

But it beats waking up the next morning praying to god and scrubbing yourself.

If you have trouble putting on a condom in the heat of the moment, find a steady girlfriend and, ideally, have her tested. Put her on the pill and that way you can have all the unprotected sex you want. And if you do have sex outside of your primary relationship, at least you’ll more likely wear a condom because now you’re not only protecting yourself, but you’re responsible for protecting her, your amore.

Also, if your girlfriend knows that you’ll go ballistic if she cheats on you, that is certainly one strategy of keeping her from cheating in the first place. But the strategy can backfire on you. If she DOES cheat on you behind your back, she may fear the disastrous consequences of your hell fire if she tells you.

So she cheats behind your back and one day you wake up with a mysterious STD you caught from her lover.

You may want to consider having an emotionally OPEN relationship with your primary partner, where she feels she can TELL you if she ever feels attraction for another man to the point where she feels like she’s about to cheat. That way she can come to you and talk about it without fear of jeopardizing the relationship – BEFORE she does the deed and puts you at risk.

Remember, in life you can never completely eliminate your risk in anything.

Every time you step into a car you put yourself at risk for injury and death.

In fact, in the United States far more people die from car accidents every year (about 50,000) than die from HIV (about 16,000).

The point isn’t to go crazy worrying about the risks, but to manage and minimize them.

You have the ability, with the right tools, to have beautiful women in your life. Just play it safe!

Now here’s the typical kind of comment and letter I get:

Hi Jesse- Make a long story short. Was out with friends and ended up bringing random girl home from the bar this past weekend. The bar definitely was in an area known to be roamed by street workers. Any how, she was 28 yrs old, cute & i thought for sure she couldn’t be a hooker. Had unprotected sex and after the deed she told me she usually charges a fee but im cute so she made an exception. I freaked out on her and she said she was clean and gets tested every 6 months. Said she doesn’t do it much(yeah). I felt like crying and told her to leave immediately. I’ve never had an STD before and definitely concerned with HIV. I’ve never felt so vulnerable and helpless like this before. I don’t show any symptoms yet (only because its day 2). What should i do? I’m 29, healthy, no drugs. Any advice would be appreciated!

And here’s what my response would be,

Don’t panic! It’s *very, very difficult* to catch HIV from vaginal sex, unless the girl was menstruating and bleeding on your penis. Not impossible, but it’s estimated at 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 10,000 for vaginal sex per encounter. And that’s usually because the man had open sores on his penis AND the girl was infected and menstruating.

HIV does NOT transmit easily. It’s much more commonly transmitted from anal sex (receiving anal sex) and from needles put into veins.

Also, of the hundreds of guys who have written me about this (vaginal sex), NONE of them turned out to be infected after they got tested.

So you’re very safe.

Still, it’s like revving up your car to 100 mph on the highway. It’s a pretty stupid risk to take. Not particularly dangerous if it happens once, but dumb nonetheless.

Much more likely you can catch HPV or Gonorreah or Herpes from unprotected sex. These viruses spread VERY EASILY and herpes has no cure. So you want to wear condoms because of these ones.

Use this as a lesson to use condoms! Every guy has to go through this and screw up once to experience that fear. That fear will help you now to be safe in the future. Just like every little kid needs to burn their finger on the stove once to learn the FEAR not to do it again!

Jesse

403 comments

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  • Hi Jesse i am from india.. last night i was drunk and had unprotected vaginal sex with a street worker for about 2 minutes.. what is the risk of getting std s.. i am scared to death right now.. please help me

  • hiii jesse
    i have sex with prostitute in india… but condom broke in between. 7 days later i have diagnosed with choncroid with hiv duo antigen test negative. but now after 15days my choncroid is not cured and i have fever headache etc.. what are my chances please help

  • please help
    hi i had sex with a prostitute in india…. the condom broke in between. a week later i have diagnosed with choncroid. my hiv duo test after 10 days is negative. but i have also suffered from fever, headache and stress please help me what are my chances

  • Hi..i had protected sex on May 1st and I took p24 antigen and hiv duo test on August 20 it came as negative.
    Now the problem started last week,I got herpes zoster (shingels) on my thigh.please help me is this related to hiv or is it sign of hiv.i heard shingshingles is common symptom for hiv. Kindly help.

  • Hi , I had sex with a masseur. . Used two condoms for protection…. but while she was rubbing over me.. the vaginal fluid was over my stomach… I thing while cleaning after sex.. the fluid might have been towards my urethra.. what do you think on this situation

  • I had unprotected sex with an mid-aged Asian prostitute at a cheap message palor in Canada, Toronto. I came inside her a minute later after she took the condom off. I’m dreading that I could have hiv and the waiting to get tested is killing me. A full four weeks left for rapid hiv testing. Is that accurate? What are my chances? I’m so worried. This is the stupidest thing I ever did in my life. I feel so dumb and guilty.

    • Hi friend. We don´t know her status and you were in a brief exposure. Your risk is slow, the odds are in your favor but yea you had unprotected sex and that makes a low risk in your case so you have to get tested in 3 months, thats a conclusive test (99%). In think you will be ok, and remember use condom correctly and consistently.

  • Hi ,

    I am from India ..Had unprotected sex with prostitute 40 days Ago…I took HIV1 and 2 Antibody test and PCR DNA tests after 30 days from exposure …Both came as Negative and Not Detected …Please let me know can i treat this as conclusive …Please Help and i am tensed

    • Hi man. After 4 weks is not conclusive but is a very good signal. You should take a test 3 months after the possible exposure I have read that this one is conclusive. Remember use condom correctly and consistently.

  • Hi Jesse,

    I would like to test for HIV, Please let me know the best test to evaluate after 30 days from chance of encounter and accuracy of Test result after 30 days.

  • I had un protected intercourse with a female who is known to have a lot of wild crazy sex with a lot of men it lasted no more than 5 min month and a half later I came down with a real bad cold no other symptoms just a nasty cold for about 3 and a half weeks now my girlfriend has devolved plantar warts on her feet please I need advice are these signs of hiv my girlfriend has had tons of stress due to school and other things Im hoping the stress is what developed her foot warts should we be concerned I’m scared to get tested

  • I had un protected intercourse with a female who is known to have a lot of wild crazy sex with a lot of men it lasted no more than 5 min month and a half later I came down with a real bad cold no other symptoms just a nasty cold for about 3 and a half weeks now my girlfriend has devolved plantar warts on her feet please I need advice are these signs of hiv my girlfriend has had tons of stress due to school and other things Im hoping the stress is what developed her foot warts should we be concerned I’m scared to get tested

    • Those aren’t symptoms. You can get tested, but it’s unlikely you caught anything from vaginal sex

  • Hi Jesse…

    is there any documented case about straight men gets HIV in a single sex act?…please help me, i got unprotected sex from a prostitute, this year April 1, 2016…i can’t focus on my daily activities, i’m paranoid, please help me…by the way name is Tony and i’m from the Philippines…

    • Tony, I think you’re ok. A few months ago, I did a lot of research on this. What I found was that prostitutes are more aware of these things than ever, and have taken many precautions to not contract STDs. Basically, there are tons of global movements dedicated to protecting prostitutes and customers: educating them, getting themselves tested regularly, always having condoms, etc. Prostitutes are safer than ever. And even then, the # of prostitutes with aids (and you can check this) in 1st world countries is extremely rare.

  • Hi Jesse..

    Thanks in advance.

    I had a sex with unknown lady which is similar and continuation to the previous query
    protected vaginal sex singe encounter and kissed her in lip ,tongue
    and breast. What are my chances of getting HIV assuming she is HIV positive with high viral load…I am scared.

  • Hi Jesse..
    Thanks for Helping many people in this forum.

    I met an prostitute in India 2 days Back and we had protected sex…first she sucked my cock for 3 mins on condom and later she ride me for 2 mins and then i was on top for 5 mins…The session last for around 15 mins…It was a protected sex( I used 2 condoms)..I am really worried after that and did not slept properly from last 2 days ..What are my chances of getting HIV assuming she is HIV positive with high viral load…I am scared.

    I washed my pennis immediately after sex and also i did not kiss her nor touched her vagina with fingers or mouth ..

    Appreciate your quick response..

      • Thank you very much Jesse…One last question …what are the chances of getting hiv from woman to man in unprotected sex…

        Again I would like to thank you for your service to the people globally. .really appreciated .wishing you good luck and good health …

  • Hello Jesse, You wrote: “It’s very, very difficult* to catch HIV from vaginal sex, unless the girl was menstruating and bleeding on your penis. Not impossible, but it’s estimated at 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 10,000 for vaginal sex per encounter. And that’s usually because the man had open sores on his penis AND the girl was infected and menstruating.” I had protected sex with an HIV woman and the condom broke which i became aware after about 5 minutes. She was bleeding and there was blood on my penis. My local CDC says the risk is low but when i read on the Internet it says it is high. Can you advice? Thanks.

    • Your risk is relatively low. However, since you believe that she is HIV positive and her blood was on your penis, you should get tested. Nonetheless, 99% chance you’re okay. Still that was risky to do, you need to stop doing that kind of behavior, and get tested just in case.

  • Hi Jesse,

    I would be grateful for any advice. Last week I had unprotected sex with a woman I met for the first time. I had been drinking and in the heat of the moment I failed to take precautions. The intercourse lasted no longer than 3 minutes, in truth I would be surprised if it lasted longer than one minute, I ejaculated inside her (not worried about pregnancy as she assured me she is on the pill), later (minutes after we had finished) she got her period.

    In the past outside of relationships I’ve always been careful so I’ve never worried about HIV or passing it on to someone. It would be entirely hypocritical of me to be judgemental, but as she never asked me to take precautions I presume that she has not asked other partners to do the same. With that in mind I’m very worried that she could have picked up something that I may have caught. Short of her behaviour with me I’ve no reason to think that she may have anything. This week I’ve been so overwhelmed with worry that I felt I had to ask her if she had anything and her recent sexual history. She said that the last two people before me she had unsafe sex with were her partner of 5 years (who she split up with in December) and before that the father of her son. She said that while she has slept with other men since, she has always used protection until me as while she took a lot of risks before having her child he was too important to her to do so again.

    I have had friends who have had similar mistakes in the past and picked up things like Herpes and Chlamydia, when I googled for them I found HIV. I have read here and elsewhere that it is unlikely for the penetrative partner in vaginal sex to pick up the virus but it’s a chance I’ll never take again if I’m lucky enough to avoid HIV this time. It may sound silly but at the moment I’m really unconcerned about having picked up other STDs from her – HIV seems to put them all into perspective. In terms of symptoms I’ve been so anxious that I’m interpreting everything in a really scary way. I have had a bruise from the gym, a red mark from where I was lying and a spot which I have attributed to HIV only for them to disappear within minutes or hours. Tonight my throat has been mildly uncomfortable – particularly when I think about it, and I’m worried it could be a sign of the virus but I am hoping it is stress or even a common cold.

    I’m in Scotland in the UK and the women I had sex with was not African/Eastern European or a sex worker (not trying to offend anyone, those are just higher risk categories from what I have read). Nor do I believe her to be an intra venus drug user. A sexual health nurse I spoke to on the phone said it was very unlikely that the woman would have HIV and even more unlikely that I’d pick it up…A volunteer on the phones of the Terence Higgins trust had already said a similar thing to me but I just thought it would be worthwhile asking here.

    I wondered if more learned people than myself could answer a few questions. Firstly – does the length of contact matter? I understand that HIV can be passed the first time you come into contact with someone or may not be passed after 100 times, but I wasn’t sure if the length of time was a factor. Also, if she was menstruating while we had intercourse would that increase the likelihood of me picking up something? Finally I wondered how long I should wait before I get a test. I’ve heard of 11 day tests but when I spoke to the nurse/THT they suggested it was more common to wait a month.

    Thank you very much for taking the time to post your original post and for reading this, I’m very grateful for any advice and answers you can offer.

    • Additionally, I’m not sure if this is relevant but she also told me she has suffered from Endometriosis since she was 16 (she is now 31) and recently has had a full insertive pelvic exam and smear tests relating to this. I know only the HIV test actually checks for the virus but I presume other STDs are visible during the exam and come up in some of the tests. Could these tests give doctors an inclination if she was suffering from HIV? I mean if for instance her white blood cell count was low etc could that be cause for further query on the doctors part.

    • You are worrying over nothing. Get tested if you’re so worried, so that you can at least return to sanity. Your chance is 1 in 10,000 if that.

  • The problem with all these guys and ne is we slept with an escort and feel guilty for either paying for sex with escorts. Or cheating on thete girlfriends/wives and as children people are taught hiv is so easy to catch and always wear Condoms because they cant teach us true hiv facts or all you dummies woild be going in raw over and over lol so the system worked and it failed in a way but as for the escorts there’s a huge difference between a girl who is escort and a girl who is a street worker. Escorts go by online adds or phone calls and go by appointment street walkers is pretty self explanatory and usually fairly cheap. Secondly if the escort using a condom for oak chances are she does that for everyone and therefore doesn’t want to infec herself anymore than you. Thirdly as long as she doesn’t have track marks you should not worry. Trust me in three days i go for my final hiv test at 12 weeks and finnaly can end the stress cause i did cheat on my girlfriend of five years in a moment of weakness wi th an an escort. So its bee 11 1/2 weeks of researching hiv and aids and getting two different colds/flu and testing negative twice at three weeks and 9 weeks. Just always wear a condom and when sleep in with escorts be awa eet e and totally sober and remember and pay attention to every detail and dont be shy to ask her about her status beforehand and her status and her ways of pkaying safe. Because if you dont youll torture yourself for months about stds looking for loopholes and youll fall into a Dow ward spiral of hiv scare and anxiety. I said i wouldn’t but it happend to me due to the colds. I learned my lesson and fully expect negative results but thw truth is the stress has probably caused me three years of my life in the la st three months but anyway thats my option feel free to reply and ill help you out god bless everyone on here and i wish everyone negative results and long healthy lives

  • I am freaking out. I’m in Poland and the condom broke anal sex. This was a brothel. I was hammered don’t know.y I even asked for anal. I came after 5 mins. The woman was from the Ukraine so I read it a 10% chance she has it. Not trying to be gross but it wasn’t hard to.get in her so, I’m not even sure it was anal. But I asked for it….stupid me. I’m not circumcised and there was not blood. I hear I have a 1.in 161.Chance of get hiv. I understand std risks are higher. I did a duo test day 4 negative for my past exposures and i am planning hiv rna test on day 14. Hear it 99% percent accurate. I am.Just asking if there is anybody who has been there. Iam talking single exposure insertive anal with a high risk individual.
    Booze is a terrible thing.
    Regards and God bless us all

  • Hi Jesse
    I had sex with a prostitute and the condom broke I was probably two minutes inside her without the condom anymore. She told me she had no disease or HIV. But I’m still really worried please help

  • I had sex with women i dont knw her hiv status i wear a condom during intercousre at last about 2-3 mintues my condom brake i am worried but she tell me that she has no hiv but am still worried and after 7 days i had headache from last 5 days is it sign of getting Hiv or can I Take PEP

  • Hello Jesse, I had unprotected sex with a woman about 8 months ago. She told me that she had been tested and she was fine. We broke up and I had sex with another woman who did not have HIV. A few days ago the woman from 8 months ago calls me and tells me that she is HIV positive. I immediately start to panic. The second woman I slept with had an episode where she was raped and she had two STD tests done. I called her and she said that both of her tests came back negative. I went and got a HIV test done and I am waiting on the results which will take a couple days. I’m in a panic now. If the second woman I was with is negative, what are the odds of me being negative also?

    • A response would be greatly appreciated. I am in a panic at this point and the wait for the results is killing me. My current fiance says that I am fine but I just want to be sure. I’ll obviously never do this again, since i’m getting married, but I don’t want this to ruin the rest of my life.

      • UPDATE: Called the clinic yesterday and I got my results back. Negative. I was blessed, the girl I was with probably contracted HIV after she was with me but it scared the shit out of me. Word of advice. This is not a game, this is real shit, don’t play with fire. I learned my lesson. Even if she says she’s clean and shows you a recent Negative test, don’t take any chances, use a condom gents; same goes for the ladies.

    • My Name is Robert Kertesz from USA, and am really grateful and thankful for what Dr ADESUWA has done for me and my family. I Was having HIV/ AIDS for good three years with no solution, the diseases almost took my life and cause I was unable to work and I was also loosing lots of money for medication, but one faithful day when I went online, I met lots of testimonies about this great man so I decided to give it a try and to God be the glory he did it. he cured me of my diseases and am so happy and so pleased to Write about him today. if you need his help of you also want to get cured just the way I got mine, just email.
      dradesuwaspelltemple@ gmail. com.

    • Trust me ur safe…. 1 unprotected sex doesnt mak much difference… ur 99.50% sure negative..

      Good luck best wishes..rony frm india

  • Hi

    CM i get hiv upon receiving blowjob. I am worried because i do not know the hiv status of the girl who performed blowjob. Do i need to have hiv test for this pls reply. Thsnk you

  • Hi Jesse!
    Please help me with info, i was so stupid.

    I’m fm, had oral sex, less then 2 minutes with stranger, his HIV status is unknown.
    Also he doesnt ejaculated in my mouth.

    Just after this i spatted all saliva with possible pre-cum from my mouth and i cleaned mouth with wet-wipe. Also i rinced mouth with water in next 20 minutes.

    For full info he was 50-60 years old, if it helps.

    Whats risk to get HIV?

  • Hi

    I am a seaman and working in ship. I received blowjob in bissau in west africa. The girl was very decent and we drank as well.. only activity was me receiving blowjob and no intetcourse . So my questions are
    1. What are the chances for me to het hiv upon receiving blowjob
    2. Do i really need to test for this activity.

  • Hi jesse.. i had protected sex with an escort and there was no breakage of condom. However durijg cleanup i noticed spme menstrual blood on the lower parts of genitals.. im freaking out reg this. Am i safe?

  • About 5 weeks ago I party with some friends once the bar closed we decided to go to the strip club one of the girls there took me to the back and I paid for sex I was nervous she put a condom on for me and I couldn’t really stay hard so the sex part (vaginal) didn’t last that long maybe a min or 2 the rest of the time she just gave me oral but I kept the condom on the entire time I never finished should I be worried? I got a std and hiv test done a week later and another 4weeks after the encounter all negative. Three days ago I got a really bad strep throat and now I’m freaking out

  • Hi Jesse
    I had sex with a girl i just met online well,we started to use a condom but when i finish the first time and check the condom and it was the only remain one so i decided to do without condom and after some few minutes i ejaculated she then tell me that she was infected with AIDS. that was just my first time of meeting with her, please help me out with some peace of advise.

  • Hey I got a vip session with a stripper and got a handjob with a condom. She told me I don’t really need a condom for a handjob as they are usually safe. She then gave me like a one-minute blowjob with the condom still on. Things weren’t really working out and I started to get “soft.” She then took it off and gave me a handjob without the condom. now my memory is telling me that after the condom was off it was only a handjob. But I keep worrying if maybe she gave me some head as well. The head if I did get it only lasted at the most three minutes but im pretty sure it was just a handjob as she put lube on and I wouldn’t imagine any sane person giving head with lube on. I did not ejaculate due to nervousness as this was my first experience ever. She told me she gets regular testing and that she was clean. I asked her this several times. I do have a little ocd im not gonna lie. After this shameful experience I got tested and came out negative for everything. I was tested negative for hiv after two weeks. I will retest again in like 4 weeks. Is 3 months conclusive? I wasn’t too worried about this stuff if it was a “normal” girl but I am worried because she was a stripper. Thankfully I found this website and it put my mind at ease. I am more worried about the “getting head” part. There were no visible cuts on my penis however her breathe was stinking a little bit but she says it was from the inhaler she uses for her asthma. I do not recall any blood in her mouth, I doubt that strongly. Needless to say I will be looking for a monogamous relationship and will get your soulmate formula. This whole thing lasted at the most 7 mins.. So I am really worried about the head part which was probably 2-3 minutes and is 6 weeks conclusive or should I wait like 3-6 months. Thanks man.

  • Dear Jesse

    I just read the article above and fee so relief however I have the below question which is haunting me since one month

    I had sex with Bar girl in Thailand.It was a first time sex with a hooker.Jus one time- It lasted about 3 minutes or two. I had had three condoms on but I dint know it was bad to double bag or triple bag the condom. After I ejaculated I removed my penis and then the girl asked me if it was my semen on the bed or if it was her discharge on the bed because the bed was wet( Even she could not tell me if it was her,she just asked me)then while the condom was on I examined the condom and I dint see any visible condom break. I squeezed the semen down and It came to the tip of the Condom. I checked again next day morning the condom and there was semen still inside the tip of the condom. Now I am worried if there was some leak from the condom to wet the bed. Because I am thinking the girl cannot have her discharge in two minutes of intercourse. I also think to reassure me even if there is a leak from the first condom all three condoms should have a hole at the same place to exit the semen or her fluid to enter my penis. i am certain there was no leak at the tip of the condom .Also I dint see a noticeable break in the condom.Because e the tip was filled with the semen
    Is it possible for me not see the condom break and still a break exist in the condom? I am now really anxious whether in someway my condom would have leaked and I am exposed. Maye be from the top (from the base) of the condom is leaked and entered her fluid. Its been a month now everyday I wake up with the thought of I am infected. It literally affecting my work and everything.I asked the girl if she Has HIV she say no and she has tested three months back and she is even new in this field as she joined the bar three months back but she had customer in those three months.
    Could you tell me if any chance I would have infected? It was a terrible mistake to have sex with someone I do not know.

    Preston

    • Jesse Could you please reply for the above? Can a girl come that faster? or was it my semen? i am really worried and looking on this post every third minute for your reply
      Thank you

  • Hi, I had unprotected oral sex with sex worker 4 weeks ago..Blow job, fingering and sucked her breast (not sure milk came out or not)…I’m worried if HIV could get transmitted through oral sex. Also I had rashes on my body on third week and my physician prescribed Doxy 100mg tablet…For a week I had headache (not sure is it a symptom of HIV or because of tablet)..but I’;m really worried..please help

  • I had protected vaginal sex with a prostitute about 7 weeks ago and I’m now feeling a sore throat and swollen glands in my jaw. What are my risks for hiv?

  • Hey. I am a female. I had unprotected sex with a man who’s hiv status is unknown, 10 years ago. I suppose the reason it has begun to concern me now is because of things I have read saying hiv can take 10 years to show signs. When it happend I was a stupid 20 year old that made a bad decision. I’ve not had unprotected sex since then. The sex lasted less than 10 minutes, and he did not ejaculate inside me. Other than me being a dumb ass momentarily, do you have any further insight?

  • Hi Jesse,

    Thanks for your labor is super helpful.. I would like to seek your opinion. I’m a happy married male with 1 kid that made the biggest mistake in his life. I went for a trip to Jakarta. I went to a disco with some friends and we met a group of young girls ( average 26-30 years) they were with oner indonesian friends and white guys.. they were with bottles and so.. they seems to be friends. Making long story short i ended with one in my house having sex 2 times with condom, no oral sex, no anal sex. The problem is that in the second score at the end she asked me to take the condom out because she was not feeling anything, and the i made the biggest mistake of my life…, i said yes… i asked her if she was clean and she told me she was taken every 6 months screening and she was clean. I took mine in july complete blood, orine test and was negative, ( since July any activity out of my marriage). The penetration was about 5-10 minutes and i ejaculated outside even she told me she was taking precautions but I was not sure 100%. I called the following day and she told me that she hasn’t anything and she usually doesn’t do this things. She didn’t ask me money and in sometime she was paying the drinks so she was not defenetly a professional of sex. In bed she was quite passive even the didn’t do a BJ or hand job. This makes me think she has not so many experience. But all of this are “ifs” the thing is i’m having the worst times of my life.. I don’t sleep, i don’t even talk to my wife and kid because I feel guilty and a real son of a bitch. In some times i think i would jump over the window but then i calm down. I started taking antibiotics, aciclovir, fungicide and ibuprofen to avoid getting any STD and i don’t feel anything after the 5th day. WHat do you think? based on your experience i’m going to be infected? is the first time i do this in my marriage and i complete fuck up… I’m a very sporty person and i’m circunscise as i red it’s less risky. Please need your inputs before doing any stupidity. On the other side were I leave there is a doctor that has the 4th generation duo test that can predict after 28 days 100% i cannot wait so much can i do it at the 21 day? please help

  • Nice knowledgable share . Thanks Much !! GodBless.

    Long story short

    I had sex with an Indian prostitute and that was the first time i was doing that nad was not able to do that properly even .

    Some how did that and tried alot of positions there . at the end she masturbated me hard and making condomn week and when i was about to cum i asked her to cum on top and this way i came and suddenly she realized the condomn was broken so i was on her with out protrectio for 15-20 sec

    Can u plz access my risk ?

    • Is this site active and charger replying on here ? can some one plz reply.
      M dying of fear and its 4 days after exposure , having muscle pain like anything
      this was my first time to do so and i guess last time .

      1. Chances of hiv by protected vaginal , but condom burst when i came
      2. i sucked her breast mildly and felt some fluid ?

      any std/Hiv ? plz access

    • your risk is zero. First, most likely she doesn’t have HIV. Second it’s very, very, VERY difficult to catch it from penetrative sex that lasts a couple of seconds. Didn’t you read the article?

  • I had unprotected sex (vaginal) with stripper last night and now i am freaked out. I was drunk. I am not able to sleep whole night. Also don’t feel like eating anything. It feel like i did something horrible. Every time i close my eyes cont stop thinking of any STD’s. I did asked her if she is clean, and she said no need to worry. But still i am. Help me out please.

  • I had unprotected vaginal intercourse with about 3 men, one I know came in me, the others I don’t think so. I do not think they have anything, and they are not drug users and have not had sex with other men. I got tested and waiting for results, I am terrified to find out. What are my chances that I may have HIV? I haven’t had an signs I do and it’s been like a year since this had happened. I live in the U.S. I know now this was very stupid of me, and will never do it again, but what are my chances please help.

  • Hi Jesse,

    I’m 21 years old white, wealthy female living in Aus. I’ve had sex with approx. 18 different people most times unprotected but none of them have come inside me. I went travelling and had sex with people and developed flu like symptoms and what I thought to be white spots in my mouth, symptoms of HIV. I got a blood test which tests for everything HIV etc.. and the doctor has asked me to come in to discuss the results.. :/ what are my chances of having HIV??

  • M before 2 months sex with a girl with condom …but oral sex i do it without condom …both the same oral sex …i m tested my hiv test now days m a hiv negative …..what is thecorrect period make hiv positive and blood test positive after doing sex or oral sex…

  • Hey Jessee, great post. Awesome in fact. It relaxed my anxiety a little. Here we go: two weeks ago I had sex with escort. she gave me oral and then we had vaginal both with condom. She provided the condom and put it on before doing oral. Its not an independent escort, actually when you call a guy answers and when you get to the location, a guy answers the door as well. very nice house, very clean inside. Don’t know if that matters, anyways, what kind of freaked me out is that after I finished which was very quick ( we did missionary first and then doggy, about 3 minutes total) I came inside her pulled out and saw the condom on my penis, although since the lights were a little dim I did not inspect the condom, she then got a napkin and took the condom out from me, then she cleaned herself. Now, I know I should have inspected the condom but I didn’t feel any failure even when I pulled out and looked at it on my penis. Afterwards I took a shower right away. Now whats killing me with anxiety is that why did she cleaned herself, to my knowledge the condom never failed but now my mind is generating all these scenarios. Could she be infected and therefore didn’t care or bothered in case the condom failed? Or its just normal that escorts get wet with their clients even though it was fairly quick? By the way she gave me a back massage before all this and when I turned over she was bouncing her tits on my penis and made moaning sounds. Please help me. I know I have no open cuts on my penis and I regret not checking the condom after she took it out. I just couldn’t wait for a 3 month hiv test, so I took a pcr rna test and am waiting for results, I know its not the right test for diagnosis but hopefully will help ease my mind. Please help.

  • Scratch that last post. Took test today. Negative. So that’s that. Now I think I’ll go sit somewhere and die of a hear-attack. Scariest damned day of my life…and I lived in Miami during the Cocaine Cowboy days. Peeps: don’t stress….just test.

  • Hey Jesse! Interesting thread. I would like to bounce a long-term story off of you. In late 2001, I had sex with two call girls (American, Caucasian) within 3 months of each other. I was 30 years old at the time. The first call girl gave me unprotected oral, but we had protected vaginal…7-10 minutes tops. Second call girl gave me protected oral AND protected vaginal. Came inside both occasions. To the best of my knowledge, both times the condoms remained completely in tact. No anal was involved with with either. I never got tested, but my past is creeping up on me. Should I be worrying, even if hypothetically the condom broke on one occasion? It’s been 13 years and no real symptoms. I catch a cold once a year at best.What do you think?

  • Hi Jesse,
    Maybe 8 years ago, I had sex with one girls, I don’t know her HIV status,when I check in the middle, the condom was broken at the ring side so I take off and finish the sex. During this 8 years I didn’t have any symptoms. Now I want to test but I’m worry for infection, so please let me know the previous risk.

    Thanks

  • I Had sex with three girls…with first girl I didn’t use protection ,with second girl condom breakd and with third girl I did weard condom at all…those girls aren’t hiv+….bt still I m having fought that I m hiv+ so….still I hav to get marriage with other girl Wht to do nw

  • Hi jesse need help here plz ,what are the chances of catching the virus ,i had unprotected sex with a 17 year old girl hiv positive once ,assuming she was born with the virus ,i’m 21 years old and i hv done circumcision ,this happened in 8 weeks after my circumcision

  • Hey Jese I really appreciate what you’ve done, good work. Anyways I want to enquiry something.

    Have anyone here reported of being poz after a single sex exposure? If there is, are they heterosexual males? Please answer me.

    Thanks Jese, cheers.

  • nice post jesse!
    iseriously need an advice. had a protected sex with a transgender(sex worker) from singapore. i was drunk but was sure that i was with condom. received oral for around 5-6mins and than penetrated for about 2-3min. i am not sure wheter my condom broked or not but the session was well lubed. i am in deep stress for the past few days of getting hiv. coudnt focus on my classes! i need more advice and my chances based on your experiences and when can i do the test? thanks !

  • Hi Jese,

    On Oct 1st (5 days ago), I hooked up with a girl over in the internet. She performed oral sex on me before proceeding to ride me for less than 5 minutes, I’m not sure if that was counted as brief moment. And then she performed oral sex on me again till I came on her mouth. The whole intercourse was unprotected. I’m 19 & she’s 20, I’m from Singapore she is too. What’s my risk level from this single encounter? Fyi it was my 1st time having sex & recently after that incident my anxiety level is beyond the level my emotions could handle. Every now and then I would look up in the internet & search up for the probability/odds/percentage I might be infected and such, honestly it’s killing my thoughts. I’ve been crying lately too. Been feeling extreme fatigued & having lost of appetite. Please help me Jesse & clear my thoughts. I don’t know much about her I kept asking her if she’s disease free which she claimed yes to a point she told me it’s annoying for me to question her that question everytime. I’m not saying I don’t believe her but I’m not taking any risk. Please help me Jesse I’ve been having suicidal thoughts too, as a last resort :'(

    • And to add, I’m circumcised & I’ve never done drugs that consist of needles. I’m very remorseful for my stupid actions :'( plus I didn’t notice any cuts or wounds on my penis after the intercourse nor there was any blood in her vagina. Please reply A.S.A.P 🙁

    • Assuming she has HIV, your chance is about 1 in 1,000 of catching it, maybe even less because it was pretty short. However, HIV is *not* very common in singapore. So your chance is about 1 in a million.

      Just take this as a lesson of how to conduct your life from now on. Wear condoms. Life isn’t about avoiding all risks; we take dumb risks as we grow up and learn from them. Use those lessons to minimize risk going out– that’s the best anybody can do.

      • Thank you so much Jese for the convincing reply. Somehow I felt much more better than I was. I’m getting a test on the 1 month using the 4th gen(is it reliable on the 1st month?). And next time I’m gonna’ take percautious & use protection. Thanks once again Jese, really appreciate it.

        And yes last question, does symptoms appear after 6 days pf exposure? Or is it just my anxiety I’ve been having nightmares constantly waking up middle of the night, I felt as if I’ve fever but I don’t, lost im appetite 🙁

  • Hi guys i need help here ,i had unprotected sex with a girl of 17yrz old which i had she was born with the virus,i’m 21 yrz we had like 3 fast rounds and i’m circumcised this happend 8 weeks after the circumcision process

  • Hi Jesse, I had protected sex with a sex worker in Bali, Indonesia about a month ago. I used a condom and not sure if it broke as I was very drunk. Iv been to the docs and got tested for clamydia gonorrhoea and some other sti that I can’t remember. I tested positive to the other sti. What is my chance of contracting hiv?

  • Hi Jeese,
    I am 30 year male from India. On 19/09/2014, I encountered with a prostitute. I was drunk and condom slipped. I ejaculated into her. intercouse lasts for 3-4 minutes. I dont have any cut in my penis. also the girl was not bleeding. I am very worried now. please let me know the chance of getting hiv.

  • Roy

    I went to a massage parlor (happy ending type), the lady that provided the service was using a tampon (obviously having her period); at a point in time she touched her vagina and masturbated me for less than a minute; at not point did my penis touch her vagina but, I am very concerned since this involved: Her with a tampon (period), her touching her fluid for lubrication and then masturbating me until I ejaculated. What kind of risk that I expose myself to?

    Must add that my penis to the best of my knowledge is in perfect health, no cuts or points where there virus could enter again, to the best of my knowledge and I can see.

  • I went to a massage parlor (happy ending type), the lady that provided the service was using a tampon (obviously having her period); at a point in time she touched her vagina and masturbated me for less than a minute; at not point did my penis touch her vagina but, I am very concerned since this involved: Her with a tampon (period), her touching her fluid for lubrication and then masturbating me until I ejaculated. What kind of risk that I expose myself to?

  • hai am an Indian male of 24 yrs
    recently i had sex(vaginal sex) with a prostitute
    nearly after 10 minutes when i took out my penis i found out that my condom broke from top,
    since that day i am feeling frustrated and afraid,i asked her whether she is clean or not,she said yes
    but i dont believe her
    plss help me

  • Hi Jesse
    I had unprotected vaginal sex with
    A girl for truly 3 strokes I’m telling the truth
    38 days later she texted a said she just tested
    Positive, I tested with rapid antibody
    Test at 39, 42, and 53 days all neg
    What are my chances of getting this
    For my dumb dumb mistake?

  • Hi I recently went on a date with a guy I had been talking to for awhile. We were fooling around and some signals got crossed and he entered me without a condom. He was not in me for long as I quickly told him to stop. He swears he’s clean. I have only had one other sexual partner and each time with that person I was protected. I went to planned parenthood and had a std screen done just in case. I have to wait a little bit for the hiv/aids test though and I’m scared. What do you think me odds are?

  • sunny
    Hi I had sex with prostitute and my condom breaks when I saw that I think the exposure was about one or two minutes maximum I don’t know what to do can I get hiv plzzzz help me.

  • Hi I had sex with prostitute and my condom breaks when I saw that I think the exposure was about one or two minutes maximum I don’t know what to do can I get hiv plzzzz help me.

  • Hello everyone, hope to hear some feedback. So I have been with a fair amount of escorts. I’m 19, male, heterosexual, NON drug user, and never tried anal. I developed an extreme paranoia from HIV about 2 weeks ago when I told myself I’m going celibate. I always used protection, ALWAYS, yet developed this fear for some reason. I have no symptoms and never have other than diarrhea which started on Sunday and I think it was because of all the stress. I got tested on Monday and now await the results. My doctor said I’m low risk because I don’t do anal and I always used protection, but I’m still suffering psychologically. Can someone help me please? I’m on the verge of tears.

  • Hi Jesse,
    I had sex with this brothel girl, i aint sure she’s clean but im told she does medical checkup monthly.
    When she was on top with me, the beginning was fine- my penis was fully erect, however, I don’t know whether I penetrated her WITHOUT condom on cause it SLIPPED inside(the condom was inside her vagina but she managed to take it out) when I withdraw my penis out?? And I’m not sure whether my urethra was always inside the condom when she was on top of me, some vaginal fluid possibly pass HIV virus via my urethra???
    Please answer my question, do I get HIV/STD from it?

  • Hey jezze u r doing a wonderful job..I had encountered a sexual encounter with a prostitute before 4 days..i have appplied condom,after penetration when removed my condom i saw blood drops on foreskin of tip of my penis..i was very frightened at that moment..i am confused whether the blood drops would be mine bcoz of some cut in foreskin or it might be of that prostitute..its 4th day from exposure..i m having fever and very bad sore throat..m very freaked out of the fear of contracting hiv..kindly advice me how much chances are there for me to get hiv or any other stds.if my condom would be broken along with blood drops on foreskin of tip of my penis..thank u

  • Hi Jesse,

    Three years ago I had protected vaginal sex with a cambodian prostitute (unknown HIV status) and two years ago protected vaginal sex with a vietnamese prostitute (unknown HIV status). At that time i really never thought of HIV because i used a condom both times and both times the condom didnt break. I just recently got married and had unprotected sex with my wife. Two weeks after the wedding, she started to have a fever and sore throat. Then she started throwing up in the morning a few days later. STDs/HIV popped into my head because i was looking up why she would get sick 2 weeks after we had sex. I’ve been very anxious and worried that I gave something to her without knowing. Please help!

  • Hi James,

    Thanks for finding the time to reply to us, it’s good to see.

    i’m 19, I went to Bali in August, and had sex with a hooker that wouldnt leave me alone, it was my first time, and i didnt use a condom. i asked her if she was infected and she said no, but i know that Bali has supposadly a huge HIV factor right now.

    I’m too scared to go to the doctor, but i am going to soon.

    I didnt ejaculate inside her, there was no blood on my penis, and i didnt have any open sours.

  • dear sir, i had sex with sex worker in Nepal but condom is break after that i ask her she said she is fine but i dont believe her. what is the risk of HIV in one encounter? plz help me i m so nervous

  • Dear sir …am 19 and I have had many sexual partners but I can count on my fingers how many guys I’ve had unprotected sex with ….anyway my question is thati have my bf and I know it was stupid but I cheated on him and I feel awful….but with the otherguy..the condom burst but he didn’t ejaculate inside of me…am I at risks of catching HIV??…I’m scared and I know it was a stupid move to make but it happened and now am concerned about the risks of passig anything on to my bf

  • Hi Jesse. Exactly 3 weeks ago I had one-time unprotected “traditional” sex with a female friend of mine. I was drunk and it shouldn’t have happened but she didn’t try to stop me, far from it actually. My concern is that she’s a bit of a skank and I know she’s been with at least a few guys within the last year.
    I’ve been having anxiety attacks for the last couple of weeks about this and scouring the internet looking for opinions, many of which are conflicting. Some details that should seemingly work in my favor are that we’re both white, non drug using, western canadian (coastal), and we live in a relatively small city with few visible minorities. One thing that apparently works against me is that I’m not circumcised, although I’ve read conflicting opinions about that as well.
    I plan to schedule a test tomorrow but I’m scared about that too. What do you think? Thank you.

  • This article of yours have assuage my fears. I have had sex with a prostitute woman more than a year ago. At first i had penetrated her vagina without condom until i was ready to ejeculate. When i felt like ejeculating i have wear a condom.

    I was afraid since then and finally i had the courage to take the hiv test just this morning at a local clinic. For now i’m very scared at the result.

    Jesse, i just need to know what are may chances of infection?

    Thank you very much.

  • I am a male and i had a protected sex with a prostitute . there was a condom breakage. and within 3-4 seconds i remove my penis as quick as possible . and my penis touched came in contact with her vaginal fluid in this period of 3 to 4 seconds What are my risks and should I get HIV tested?

  • Hi Jesse well I’m worried I had sex with a female that I don’t know her status. I wore a condom but it broke when we notice it broke we stopped an I put in a new one after the first condom broke I wAs so distracted by it that I didn’t finish at all. Please advise me so scared.

  • Hi Jesse, can you help me out with another problem. I went to my Gp for a check up after the condom breaked. it was 3 days back and tested with a rapid finger test and it was negative 2 months after exposure. and today I tested myself with a rapid hiv test and the was no buffer water inside the kit so I used a still water as drops for reading the rapid test and after 5 minutes i saw a fainted line on it. I than followed it up with another hiv rapid test not similar to the one I used before it came out negative? I tested 2 times it was negative. am I hiv positive? my neck is sore and painful my Gp told me it was due to stress.

  • Hi Jesse, I would like to thank you once again for helping us. I had an exposure 2 months ago, when the condom breaked. I tested negative, my worry now is my neck, it is painful with no swollen lymph nodes. I went to the Dr who told me it was stress. Do you think my result will change to positive. I have been using Pep medication. Thanks again in South Africa we salute you for your outstanding work. It

  • Hi i am 35yr old male year 2010 i had unprotected sex with 2 of my friends with unknown std status, i contracted gonorrhea then.. It was a wake up call for me after the incident and after being treated i have been a wise man now having a monogamous relationship with my wife.. But still after 3 years i still feel anxious everytime i will feel sick i have not suffered any major illness since the encounterd etc.. But i want to know my chances of getting hiv? Should i still need to get tested?

  • Hello! I (woman) had sex with a guy more or less 27 years old that goes a lot out in nightclubs and has a very active sexual life. After he ejaculated and was withdrawn from my vagina we realised the condom was broken. I took the day-after-pill, but I am worried what are the chances I got HIV or other STD. Thought about going to a hospital for prophylactic treatment ( i am still within 72 hours) but maybe this is too much? What do you think? Offourse I asked him if he has something but he said no, but can i trust that?
    It was only one intercourse, about 15 minutes.
    Please help me with your expertise, I am very stressed, but i think that if my chances are very low, maybe PMP pills for one month have worse side effects.

  • Jesse please help! I went to have sex with a friend the other day. He was inside me for no more than 30 seconds, no condom. I stopped him, and we didn’t continue, we both realized it was a heat of the moment thing that we shouldn’t continue. I have no reason to think he’s HIV + and I am being paranoid. What would the chances be if he WAS HIV+ and he was only inside for no more than 30 seconds. Am I overreacting? Thanks!

  • Hey !
    I did sex with a prostitute . I am 29 yr old male guy . Firstly she gave me oral and then I put on condom and after some minutes she bleeds.
    I remove the condom. There was no blood on penis and I ejaculate outside. I was feared and after 2 days I got sone fever and some tenderness in my right thigh. Now its been 9 days, having no fever but pain in inner thigh.
    What should I do?
    Any suggestions..??

  • I became advised this blog via this uncle. I am not saying constructive no matter whether this specific submit is actually authored by means of the pup since no one learn like described about my personal issues. You happen to be wonderful! Thanks a lot!

  • Great information and as you mention the wait to be tested is nerve recking. The woman I 65 and had sex with another male two months before me. So hopefully she is clean we had unprotected sex twice. Hope she does not having anything or that I received HIV or any std’s from those encounters. Your article is great but as you mention until one is tested the odds don’t mean a whole lot if you are that one in 300 or whatever odds.

  • hello. I am 23 female and had 4boyfriends in past I had sex with them bt’ no one unloaded their sperm in me except one guy as per my knowledge none of them had hiv. am I in danger? will I b affected by hiv?

  • hello I had sex with 4males in past who are hiv negative (90%) sure now I’ll be getting married soon m scared weather I have a threat of having hiv plz guide me

  • hello Jesse, i made a mistake of going to a strip club about 3 1/2 weeks ago and i had unprotected oral sex from stripper. She wanted to have unprotected vaginal sex but i didnt want to do it because i didnt have a condom. Anyway, today i feel a sore throat and running nose. Ive been stressing out about this since it happened. I have a girlfriend and im afraid i might give her something. I have an appointment later on today for a pcr hiv test antigen. What do you think ? should i be worried?

  • So I know this guy he slept with a women from an online dating sight. She had sex with him unprotected then later on told him she stop taking her meds and was hiv positive. Even though the only had sec one time and for a couple of minutes. Could he now be effected?

  • Hello Jesse,
    I had few unprotected encounter with few roadside prostitutes when i was drunk.I was scared to death of being infected.I got the courage from YOUR advise and got tested today and results was NEGATIVE…
    ——————————————————————————————–
    Free your mind-its fuckin fear all through the day-get tested it will be negative.Tell us what you feel when done
    —————————————————————————
    Just do what Jesse says below

    Don’t put yourself into the nerve racking position of having to guess whether you might have been exposed to HIV… and having to wait an agonizing six weeks to get an accurate test… and sitting in the doctor’s room while he hands the results down on you.

    Believe me, it SUCKS.

    Even though the odds are low, the psychological stress is NOT worth it.

  • Something else Jesse,in other websites,I’ve read about people who share my worry,but the doctors there just say’Oh,sorry,but your chances of contacting the disease is quite high,condom breakage is the same as unprotected sex,wait for three months then go for test’.
    Now Jesse,this really scares me,you say its very hard to get it especially after just one encounter,but they are saying otherwise.what’s going on,am confused.

  • Hi Jesse,I just want to ask why people keep saying that as soon as a man’s penis touches the fluid of an infected female he is likely to get hiv,I like the way you handle people here,you calm them with your words,whenever I start fricking out I just read your article,the thought of having this disease that has no cure is what kills me the most.its funny how I appreciate life now.I really need answers MR JESSE,I posted my situation about a week ago.Am from Nigeria.I was a virgin,and I decided to have sex,this sex that people keep talking about,I just wanted to know what the fuss was all about.I had sex with the first prostitute,I don’t remember my condom breaking,besides,I wanted to use my condom but she refused and said she had her own,she put it on me and applied some cream,I didn’t even finish,she said she was tired so I got up,took off my condom,and threw it away,I had an injury on my finger,I don’t know if the condom touched it or not,but on the second woman,my condom broke,we both noticed it,I took a few strokes then came out,I think I ejaculated in her but she said I didn’t.she’s the professional so I believed her,I didn’t wash myself,I didn’t know I was suppose to,that very day I went for test and it came out negative,I was asked to come back in three months,but how can I wait for three months,it sounded forever,I couldn’t sleep so I asked her for a test,she did it in my presense,I went back the next day to take it and it was negative.I was happy but after some days the fear of window period came,am scared JESSE,I know my posting is long but I just had to say what happended.can I still get hiv after all this?thank you.waiting for your reply Sir

  • Hey jesse, i love your page. I know you hear this a lot but I had some unprotected sex for like 20 seconds with a girl I didn’t know her hiv status (she was from toronto). Anyways 3 days later I started to have flu then each time I read about hiv symptoms I start to get them. I’m really scared that I did catch hiv. Please a reply would help me feel better until I go get tested. Thank you

  • Am sorry jesse,I know I have bothered you a lot,but can you please explain more on my situation,my mind is messed up.I will be going for another test next week.30days mark.please I need more explanation.do not be offended.
    Thank u.

  • Hi worried young guy, your chances of having HIV are minimum, you are scaring a lot of something almost impossible. Relax, take a break, better for you.

  • Its me again,please don’t be offended,am worried.I don’t understand why I stand a greater risk of contacting this thing during her window period,I have played the details over and over again in my mind,am now getting confused about it.I am scared.every morning is a burden to me,I can’t do the things I noemally do,can’t even look in the mirror,can’t look at my old pictures before the incident.am a wreck.please help

  • Plus am scared of her window period,I know I should feel better after seeing her negative result,but am scared.my family have noticed my odd mode,please reply.am going mad

  • Hello,please I need your advise,I young and scared,I slept with two prostitutes in a day,my first time,since I don’t have a girlfriend,my condom didn’t break with the first woman,I didn’t even come,it did however break in the second,I think I ejaculated in her but she said I didn’t.I could not sleep,I begged her for an hiv test,it came back negative.but am still scared,I tested after two weeks,it was negative.am still worried,3months is a long time.am scared.am not happy.I sucked the breast of the first lady,can I contact hiv from these experience.please help before I loose my mind.am from nigeria,we don’t have good counselors here,they tend to make you even more scared.thanks

  • Your article is very interesting you seem to give peace of mind to lots of people I am trying to keep my own sanity since I made the mistake this week I meet this girl who was completely lying about everything she seem to be homeless and desperate yet up to this moment seems to me that I barely got my brain back I don’t know what happen and i regret not taking better decisions and leaving so many things to chance.
    She looked dirty from the beginning and She didn’t have any condoms with her so I know is one of those flavor of the night type “she don’t care” some how I convince my self to hoomp her, lasted not more than 10 strokes but I came on the very first one yet I let her mount me and keep going our body fluids mixed despite I used a condom I know this because I am being tested for an std, I ask them where could I get the pep treatment and 2 different counselors told me it wasn’t worth the 1009 dollars but now that the window issed 1000 dollars seem meaning less compared to the ease of mi

    I fit all the requirements to become positive 30 year old inform UN circumstansized Hispanic male having sex with a high risk white woman and got exposed to her body fluids, I am thinking that if I come up positive I probably deserve it for letting so many things to chance it was a bad gamble and if I do I probably will have to kill my self
    How come since vaginal sex is so low risk for man it accounts for %70 of male infection.
    Also I read that if the virus comes with other disease it is more likely that it will stick on you

  • Hi, Jesse. Very informative article! Also, I recently went to a strip and had oral sex with a stripper (unknown HIV Status) in a country in western europe. She was in her 20s and a swiss blonde. There was no anal or vaginal. She gave me a blowjob and I had a condom on while she did that.But then, I made the most stupid mistake of my life by giving her unprotected cunnilingus for a few minutes. How do you see my risk?

  • Thanks Jesse for the valuable information and spent time to answer our queries.

    I am Murali from Bangalore and my age is 32. I had a unprotected sex with 50 year old age women. first time i ejaculated out side vagina. second time she sit top of mine and done sex. almost spent around 3 – 4 mins…sex. I am fully worried about chances of getting AIDS,and not able to concentrate on my work in office. I felt vomiting sensation on very next day (it is there around 1.5 day). I am getting anxiety and keep on checking all the sites in internet about symptoms.
    by the way she is my relative and she has a one son and one daughter.I called her and she told that she dont have any discease and no bleeding now. kindly please help me. how much chance of getting aids???

    Thanks
    Murali

    • I called my relative back to bangalore and tested HIV I & II screening tests and result came as Non Reactive. Tested HbsAg and test result came as negative. But I am worrying that is there any chance getting aids from vaginal fluids. i had a unprotected sex around 3-4 mins,.please help me. I dont have any other sex contacts before.

      • Today I taken HIV spot test(after 55 days) , and result came as Negative. finally I got a relief after 55 hectic days. actually I am a more worried person and thoughts always in negative side. I am confident at this time about the result because of content available in this site. Thanks a lot jesse for your support.
        how accurate the result? and can I be free from this problem now onwards…please suggest…

  • Hi
    first of all have to say love your post. Had unprotected
    sex with a malaysian girl and during sex there ws
    blood. I asked her if she was clean and she said yes
    if she is positive what are my chances of being
    negative. It has been six weeks and i have not
    had any ars symptoms apart from stress.

  • Hello.
    I must say that I am really impressed not only because you provide information, but because you make people actually get tested, and that’s the best thing to do. Usually people won’t get tested because they are paranoid, but you help them do so, and if they happened to be infected, you practically gave them years of life. Congratulations!

    Other thing, and please try to explain a little more into detail, cause I didn’t find it very clearly in your article. I’ve been having anal sex with several guys (dumb, I know) but they had never cum inside me, they always pull out. My last encounter was in Vietnam, he penetrated me for 3 minutes and then pulled out. This has happened several times. They all claim to be STD free. Should I worry?

    Once gain, thank you very much!

  • I am female and have been having unprotected intercourse with the same man for about 6 months. He never ejaculates inside of me. Recently, we had unprotected anal sex (there was blood on the sheets afterwards-not sure if it was from him or me) No ejaculation, but most likely pre-ejaculatory fluid.
    Now, what worries me is that I recently found out that he has been having sex with transgender prostitutes. Am I at risk?
    I have been feeling quite run down, occasional low grade fever, and high wbc count for a few weeks.

  • I had sex with my bf of unknown std status atleast 40 tyms in the last 2 months….everytym we did UNPROTECTED ORAL on each other…..and on 3 occasions out of 40 he penetrated me for no more than 20 seconds each time without ejaculating inside me….he always came on my body and used a cloth afterwards to clean the semen and afterwards i used bathroom to wash my hands and body…the mistake i made was of washing my body with water and then washed my face and cleaned my vagina…..my questions are….
    1…Could unprotected oral sex 40 times(without ejaculation)lead to an infection
    2…Can 3 times unprotected sex(no more than 20 seconds and without ejaculation)can contract hiv
    3…washing semen completely with water and then cleaning the vagina with the same hand can contract the disease?

    • forgot to mention…..he told me after a long time that he was bisexual…and he had unprotected sex 5 to 6 times

      • and what about washing the semen with hands under water(completely without soap)and using that hand washing the eyes and vagina afterwards…..could that be a risk?

  • Hey Jesse,

    Just wanted to thank you for helping me (and i’m sure many others) dealing with my fear of HIV.
    I’ve been with many many women and mostly with protection, but there have been 20-30 cases of silly encounters and the fear came back once i was told i had to be tested for life insurance for my mortgage. I cannot explain the sheer terror of entering the hospital alone and asking for a test. Endless sleepless nights, loss of appetite and sexual urges with all the ‘what if’ questions going over and over in my head.

    I’m sure many people are feeling the same, and all I can say that it’s a F****ING RELIEF to be finally told and confirmed that you’re negative.

    Your article (among others) have helped me ride over that wave of fear.

    Thank you.

  • Hello, Jessie
    I am not a very sexual person, and I tend use masterbation as a relief.
    Well, two days ago, I ended up going to an Asian escort. Don’t know anything about her, he seemed a bit old, maybe in her late 30’s-early 40’s. I wasn’t expecting this, as she told me she was 20 (yea right !)
    Well, I got there, and got undressed, and lay on her bed. She put a condom on me, and started giving me oral, after about a minute, out of no where, came on top of me and put my penis in her vagina. It felt good for one to three minutes, I ejaculated inside her with the condom on, she continued for about 30 seconds after I ejaculated before realizing that I had ejaculated. She gets up, the condom is soaked inside the condom with my semen. She takes a tissue and removes my condom and throws in the garbage and goes washed her hand. She comes back, starts massing my legs (just to pass the time), after a minute, I say it’s ok, go inside the washroom, wash my hands, ( not my penis, don’t know where that soap had been), come home about 2 hours later and take a shower.
    Now with that incident done and over with, what is my chances of HIV?
    She was Asian in North America, very low english speaking ability, and as an escort, don’t know anything about her, and being an escort how many several people she has probably been with and with what kind of people. Also being Asian, she could have brought the higher end worst “E” virus here from her Asian country.
    As said before, I am not a very sexual person, and this was my first vaginal encounter, which I am greatly regretting. I am an healthly (obese) person, who made, one stupid mistake.
    Can you please give me, more insight Jessie ?
    I feel very stupid, and very ashamed of myself, I practically let my horniness let me to make a stupid choice in my life. Just hope I don’t have to pay for this mistake with my life.
    Thanks

  • Hi i recently had 3 some with my buddy and a girl. this is my first timebut mybuddy have visit prostitute alot of time. assume the girl have done alot before too, what are the chances i get hiv? We only did blow job n i did cum in her mouth after my buddy did so

  • I was at a strip club. Really really really drunk. Went up for a normal private dance. Out of nowhere she pulls my penis out and attempts to have sex. Luckily I was so drunk that I was not fully erect. She may have been able to get it in a little.

    But she was clearly frustrated, so she tried to use her hand to get me hard…at that point I ejaculated all over myself.

    Memory is so hazy so I’m not sure how long I was in her unprotected.

    What do you think the odds are I got HIV?

  • Hi there! I did a stupid mistake while being on holiday in an African country they say have about 8% risk (maybe slightly more in urban areas) half a year ago. I went to a good doctor to test both me and the girl, both came out negative, but I guess (I’m not the only one I can see from this site) I got very nervous still. As I understand she must have been infected the weeks before if it would not show up on the test. There is also a chance she then would have the flu, rashes etc at that time, but obviously she didn’t . How nervous should I be? I know the chances for other std’s are higher, but I haven’t dared going to test myself yet, as I am afraid I might have another, milder std, and I then would get a panic attack if they were to contact me to go back to the clinic to talk to them. I have not had any flu, rashes, but being afraid I have discovered all kinds of small signs on my body. How many of the infected people gets flu and rashes? And how accurate is a rapid test?

  • Also- three of those women that i had one time encounters with i believe to have had unprotected sex with at least 10 men themselves.

  • Hey Jessie.
    This article is fantastic.
    I was hoping you could shed some light on my “odds” of having hiv. I am a 31 year old male, I was in a relationship of 7 years that recently ended. Neither of us had ever been tested. I’ve also had unprotected sex with 9 other women in my lifetime, none of whom I truly know if they were hiv positive or not (although I knew all of these women, they weren’t prostitues or anything. Im just thinking back and womdering if i contracted anything over the years. im a healthy guy other than some unexplainable fatigue I’m battling.
    Anyways this is my track record:
    2000 sex with one girl 3 times
    2002 one girl 2 times
    2003 one girl 5 times
    2005 one girl 1 time
    2004 one girl 1 time
    2004 one girl 8 times
    2005-2012 one girl over 500 times
    2007 one girl 1 time
    2008 one girl 2 times
    2011 one girl 4 times
    2013 one girl 2 times

    Yes during my long term relationship I had unprotected sex without her knowledge and I hate myself for it. Do you think I’m “high risk”??

  • Dear Jesse,
    I had three rounds of protected sex with a girl i have slept with before.when we got to the bathroom for a shower she asked to have it from the back and this time we did it without protection. it lasted about two minutes and i ejaculated. I got very worried after that even though i trust her and she told me that the only time she had unprotected sex was on her first encounter and she tested negative sometime after that. i am in southern africa.what are my chances of getting it from her. i had tested negative a moth ago.what the ratios like of a man getting it from a woman in such a scenario.

  • Dear Jesse,

    A couple months ago I was drunk and I picked up a female prostitute in Missouri. We proceeded to having sex, she basically gave me a blowjob and I asked if I could vaginally penetrate her, she said it was alright but we didn’t have condoms and I was too drunk and I proceeded to inserting my penis in her vagina and had sex with her for a maximum of about 5 minutes. I asked her if she’s HIV positive, that was of course a very dumb question but she said she isn’t and she had a baby like 4 months earlier ( she probably meant that she was on ARVs to protect her baby from being born HIV positive).

    I was unable to even believe that I did it, since it was my first time to ever have an encounter with a woman whom I do not know without using a condom, but ever since, given the fact that she’s a high-risk sex worker, I’ve been reeking with fear so much.

    A month or so later, I started looking for some symptoms in my body to understand if I have contacted HIV, like the early signs, and I found two of them, I have swollen submandibular lymph glands and I’ve also been diagnosed with a viral Pneumonia. I read somewhere that Lymphatic glands in our body tend to be swollen when we contact HIV ( even though there are other reasons as well) and that Pneumonia is another indicator. I know this might be a typical Baader-Meinhof type phenomenon, but still…For Chrissake, I don’t know.

    My question is, well, this also pertains to everyone, I want to know the incidence rates of a possible transmission, do you think that there’s a chance that I’ve contacted HIV, from having sex with a woman whose HIV status is indeterminate for a duration of few minutes (not exceeding 5). I think your reply might be helpful to me and to the next unfortunate soul who commits the mistake I’ve done and is frantically looking for an answer.

    I will get tested right away after it passes the window period, but the anxiety attack isn’t helping.

    Thank you.

    • even if she DID have hiv (not very likely) then you’re chance of catching it from vaginal sex is around 1 in 1,000… even less since you penetrated it her so shortly. The odds are very, very low that you caught it, and most likely she was clean to begin with. Those symptoms can also be brought about by extreme stress, which you certainly have.

  • I am a grl of 21 nd I had a protected sex for d first tym last two yrs wif my noifrend,buh my boyfrend had an ex who he told m dt tru out dere relationship he uses condom.since den we’ve bin havin protected sex, is dere any chance of m contracting hiv?no anal sex jst vaginal nd sometimes I lick his penis buh no precum cos am always cutious of dat,hv bin so scared cos I dnt want to contract hIV.plsdo I hv any chance of dat?

  • Hi Jesse,
    Today I completed my 30 days post exposure (suspected HIV exposure) and got myself tested for HIV and the result is negative…I am very happy to see this result…and I would sincerely thank you and your blogs for supporting lot many people who get into this trauma of whether they are HIV infected or not… your guidance and advice really helped me during last 20day to come out of mental sickness and gain positive thought that everything will be okay…thanks again and please continue your moral supports as usual.

  • some years ago i was badly bitten by a HIV+ man during a robbery i didn’t catch it but developed a absolute paranoia of HIV so bad that
    even after safe sex i have become suicidal with panic i just want to let you know that your rationalisation of the risks and readers comments have stopped me from suicide,seriously!So thank you

  • Hi Jesse, really great article but I’m still very paranoid!

    I live in Wales and have slept with just under 30 women, I’ve also been with approx 4 workers at a brothel. I’m almost certain I used a condom with each worker but I have an alcohol problem so can’t be 100% sure.

    The other women I slept with was mainly without protection.

    I went for a hiv test 2 weeks ago and still haven’t had the results! The doctor has tole me they’ve been sent to a different lab but she also said they didn’t take enough blood. I suffer from depression and severe paranoia so I think she’s just telling me that to make me feel better.

    Any chance I can get your opinion?

    Many thanks

  • I had sex with a girl with a girl who I later found out used to use heroin through a needle. My roommate is her beat friend and assured me when she was using (which was for a month or 2) she only used clean needles she got from work. I am 95% sure it was protected because when i woke up I found 2 condoms next to me bed. I confronted the girl who swore she was clean and I have nothing to worry about. I now have an itchy rash that my PCP says is contact dermatitis which worriesme . I also went to the clinic and after 6 weeks tested negative. Do I have HIV?

    • Also, from the time we entered the room from then time we left was about 20 mins total. It included oral and me fingering her so the sexnim guessing was about 5-10 mins max. Also, the blotches are all over my body and look much more like poison ivy or something then an actual rash.

  • Hi, unprotected sex for 5 mins with girl I net in club in marrakech then realised so I finished with condom… In the morning found blood on bed sheet and outside of boxers… Would I have caught hiv?

    • most likely she does NOT have HIV. But if she DID (a big IF), it is more likely to be transmitted if she was bleeding. Your chances are pretty small, you might want to get tested though, and use common sense in the future… !!

  • I had one time, less than 10 minutes of unprotected vaginal intercourse w/ a girl I’d been hooking up with, I did NOT cum inside her. We used condoms the previous times. This was about 6 weeks ago. I currently have a stiff next which has lasted for a few days, sinus pressure and some slight nausea/dizziness. I took the Rapid OralQuick Test last week and was negative, and took it again yesterday and it was negative. She swears she doesn’t have HIV, but of course I’m worried about the random stiff neck and sinus pressure. Any thoughts?

  • I had unprotected oral sex with a nurse on the 9th of march, then we had protected vaginal sex for two times, my questions as follows: I had a wound at the top of my finger 3days before and i fingered her for a while, is there any possibility that I caught HIV from her vaginal fluids..the second one, the first time when we had protected vaginal sex i noticed that the condom slipped off after i ejaculated and it was beneath her ,i was not fully erected at that moment and I don’t know if it slipped off while i was taking it out of her pussy or not ,am not sure if there was any fluids on my pennies .what is the possibility that i am infected..Now I have pain at the head of my pennies, it’s been here for almost two weeks..Some pain and burning sensation at the top of my pennies.. I talked with her and she insisted that she was negative and that here last sexual intercourse was on the 14 of January, with a guy that she has been dating him for almost 5months then they broke up ,she knows his status that he is HIV and hepatitis negative she was sure of it.. I even made her do the HIV test on the 19 of March Which is almost 9weeks after her last sexual intercourse with her boy friend whom she has been dating for five months. And the test also came back negative. I also did the test on the 26 of March ,after 18days of exposure and it came back negative, .so ,should I be worried of getting HIV or not…. please help me ,I am so worried..

  • Husband just told me he had 10 second no penetration protected sex with a street hooker in Makati City Manila 10 months ago. I am furious, I am going in for STD and HIV testing next week and am so so nervous!

  • hi jesse. I read this article around octomber last year after unprotected vaginal sex FOR TWO WEEKS with a girl i met on facebook. She told me she was clean(HIV-) and she could not trap me if she was infected. On day 3 of mad sex, i came home with determine HIV1 strips to test ourselves. She refused to take the test claiming that she is due for the test in two months and there was no need to test then. I was foolishly convinced, but there was this lingering thought, what if she is a poz! I thought of pep at this point but never made a decision. On day ten i had a bad sorethroat with no other symptoms which cleared by itself in about 4 days. I remembered ars symptoms and thought gosh! Im trapped. I went for pep day 15. I knew it may not help much, but i took them for 1month- combivir and ritonavir. After pep at the end of week 5, i got the flu night sweats oral thrush muscle pains, blood blisters in the mouth. The oral thrush and also herpes simplex on the lip came on different occations. Out of all these, i had fever for a few hours in two different days within that week of flu infection. Night sweeat continued and i was sooo sure i was infected. Today it is 6months since my last xposure. I am like wooo hooo after a NEGATIVE DETERMINE TEST! My worry is, is that test conclusive? Bearing in mind of unprotecte sex with a HIV positive 23year old gal? Could i just be paranoid and all that illness were as a result of anxiety?

  • Hi jesse, I had protected sex with a bar girl in pattaya thailand,after 2 weeks I had symptoms like fever and throat infection..am worried a bit if I have hiv.

  • Hi Jesse,
    Very good information’s … 😯 in my case I had an unprotected vaginal sex with an escort masseuse in Manila. The intercourse lasted for 4-5 min and then I ejaculated inside her. This was my first time doing without condom…I got very much terrified and met my doctor next day when I was back in Singapore. He immediately asked me to start PEP. It’s almost a week now and I am regularly taking PEP (Combivir & Kaletra)…don’t know what I am doing is correct or wrong…but only one thought in my mind…why did do this…and what is going to be result after one month… The lady was very much confident on her health condition and she mentioned that she is basically a trained and certified masseuse and she got into this business (escort) only since last three months…I know there is no meaning for all these because she is an escort and even one HIV infected man is enough to get here HIV which she may not be aware off…so no way I can blame her…it is was only my wrong deed I should have denied the act without protection… the question I have… 1. By seeing the blogs I am sure the chances of getting infection is 1:300 to 1:1000 but is this data same even if the girl is HIV positive? Now since I have started take PEP, what are the chances of having HIV negative? Should I consider stopping PEP based on your statistics and experience? What is your suggestion till I get tested (3 more weeks to go)…

    • “By seeing the blogs I am sure the chances of getting infection is 1:300 to 1:1000 but is this data same even if the girl is HIV positive?”

      If, and ONLY if the girl IS for sure infected with HIV, your chance is 1:300 to 1:1,000 through vaginal intercourse.

  • Jesse, great website and a very informative article too. Question for you, I have been visiting escorts for the past 6 months here in Manchester, England, I’ve probably had protected sex with about 12. I’m always very careful, even checking condoms after use and using protection for oral too. However, on 2 or 3 occasions, I have pulled out with the condom on, masturbated myself with the condom still on, and then pulled it off, masturbated a little longer then ejaculated on her back. So, my thinking: Vaginal fluids to condom, to fingers, then to unprotected penis. Any risk? Thanks 🙂

  • Jesse, Great article and appreciate the responses. I had protected sex with a asian girl in a Massage Parlor in Houston. After a massage, she put on a condom with her mouth, gave me a blow job for 2 minutes, then we had sex (her on top and doggy) for 3-4 minutes. I did cum inside the condom, but pulled out and she took off the condom. It has been three weeks and I have a sore throat and sinus congestion for 4-5 days. I know the risk was low, but I am freaking out. Should I test?

    • Jesse, I went ahead and tested at 23/24 days with Oraquick gum swab test. I was freaking out, but saw that you told others a 3 week test is good. I still know I id everything right and used a condom, but the guilt and stress likely made me sick. The test came back negative! This makes me feel a ton better. Is the oraquick test reliable? Am I good to go?

  • Hey jesse,

    Recently , I slept with a prostitute in Germany.she was from hungary… I used a condom, she put a lubrication on it, then she gave me oral, after that I had vaginal sex <5 min…I cummed outside her vagina and the condom was intact… This was my first time and last time…with the sex laws being strict in Germany… Wat are my chances of being infected with STD`s or HIV your reply would be greatly appreciated….

  • I don’t understand how it’s so easy for you to be optomistic in every one of these situations. Me, like the rest of the people on here am worried about an encounter I had in Djibouti, Africa. I have been consumed with reading everything about HIV/AIDS, Anti-Viral Treatments, etc. My question to you is why the optomism if most HIV transmissions occur heterosexually? Please don’t give the generic answer that “they have anal also.” The CDC website is pretty much everything HIV/AIDS that is FACT…. I do, however like your article and positive replies to the men such as myself that are WORRIED to death. It is truly an eye opening experience, a life lesson like no other no matter what the outcome of my test will be. I’m testing at the 6 week point and every week after that. Made me realize how much I love my parents, family, friends, co-workers, and more importantly, God. I know that the test after 12 weeks however the outcome will be the first day of the rest of my life. For the people out there worrying yourself sick and I mean literally sick, I’m with you and I hope you learn from your encounter. Good luck and God bless

    • Some HIV transmission happens hetrosexually… from Man to woman, and NOT from women to man. It’s usually because the woman’s husband or boyfriend is a closeted gay man, has sex with other men, gets infected from anal, and then spreads it to his wife or girlfriend.

  • Hey Jesse,
    Great article thank you! Like everyone else on this thread I’m freaking out. I had unprotected sex with an older Korean woman in a massage parlor in nyc. She gave me oral and some sex with a condom then took it off bc. I went soft. I then had sex with her sans condom for 2-3 minutes until I came outside her. This was nearly two weeks ago. Aside from a sore throat and the constant state of panic I’m in everything seems okay. Here’s the kicker – immediately (like next day) I got a slight uncomfortable, sort of burning feeling in the tip of my penis. I’m fully aware that it may be some sort of STI, which I’m prepared to deal with, but if I did catch an STI from her that night does that up my chances for HIV infection? Also, she sprayed some sort of disinfectant solution on both of our genitals before, I know this because it smelled like disinfectant and tingled a bit.
    All that said, I was wasted out of my mind and it is something I’ll absolutely never do again. Thanks for your help!

    • About 0% chance you got HIV, even though you went raw… 3 minutes is not very long, and HIV doesn’t pass easily to the man from vaginal. And most likely she didn’t have it either. The burning sensation at the tip of your penis is common, and doesn’t mean it’s a symptom of an STD. However, HPV transfers easily so always use a condom. If you want, buy a home test kit at a drug store for HIV, just so that you stop stressing, but 99.99% chance you’re okay.

  • Hi Jesse,

    I was away on holiday to Thailand where after getting very drunk I engaged in unprotected vaginal sex with a bar girl. We had sex three time and carried out oral sex on each other. Not once did I ejaculate inside her but I am extremely worried that I may have contracted a STD and worse still HIV.

    It has been 10 days since the encounter and have developed a white layer on my tongue however there is no discharge or pain whilst relieving myself.

    I am going crazy from the worry and would like some expert advice on the chances of contracting STDs/ HIV. What do you think I should do?

    This is the first time I have done anything like this before and feel really stupid as this is not something I make a habit in doing. It was a silly mistake and hope I don’t pay with my life.

    What do you think the chances are?

    • There are guys that vaginally go raw in Thailand as much as they can, and don’t contract HIV. It’s very tough for the man to get it from a woman through vaginal intercourse. However, it is more likely you could have caught HPV (which transmits easily and almost all hookers have it), though it’s not serious… being drunk off your ass while banging hookers isn’t smart, you know that, so take it as a life lesson. Conclusion: 99.9% chance you don’t have HIV, but you may want to do a home test just to assuage all the stress.

  • I had sex with an escort/call girl a week ago. I’m 25 and circumcised and live in Alberta Canada. She claimed she was only 20 and did look around that age range. She started off by giving bj with a condom on and then had intercourse. The condom ended up rolling off around halfway and i ended up finishing without a condom on but I did not ejaculate inside her.. I was intoxicated and made a poor choice. It was the 2nd time in my life I didn’t I actually had intercourse without a condom. I don’t remember know how long I was having intercourse but I would say no longer then 30mins at least. She even asked me do you have any std and i said no. I asked her and she said she was tested a week ago and shes clean but I dont know what she was tested for. I have a history of anxiety so after a few days I started to worry and have probably looked up about HIV/AIDS on the internet then I have ever did in my life combined. I even contacted her a few times through text and worrying that I might of caught something and shes kinda annoyed and said trust me im clean and go get check anyways if you want to. I’m so worried and afraid to even go get checked and the thought of even having hiv is just horrifying. I read articles like this and feel good again but then I keep thinking about it too much and start to worry that I have it.

    • Even if she did have HIV, the virus doesn’t pass very easily at all to the man by vaginal intercourse. Some prostitutes are very safe if they’re careful to use protection. But you should get a home test on that 1 in 1,000 chance.

      • Hi, I am a male of 31 years of age from one of the North Eastern States of India where hiv prevalent rate is high. I had an unprotected  sex with a prostitute on 28/12/2014 at around 9:30 p.m.and I had cleaned my penis with a spirit at around 10:30 p.m. The next day i.e. on29/12/2014 at 10:30 a.m. I had one tablet of Zidovudin 300 and Lamivudine 150 and since 30/12/2014 till date I am having  tentenofovir 300+ Lamivudin 300+ Efavarenz 600 at 10:00 a.m. and I intend to continue the later till its 28th day as PEP. My rapid hiv test is negative. What are my chances of getting infection even after strict adherence to the later tablet till its completion?Please let me know if the chances of infection are there or not if my penis was not fully erect as I was drunk and the lady in question was in doggy position and i did it from behind and did it for 3 minutes maximum and I am still on PEP and intent to continue till its complete course. Please reply asap.

  • Just yesterday i had an unprotected sex with an hiv positive lady who has been hiv positive for very long, it was the 1st sex i ever had all my life & it lasted for only 3 minutes i ejaculated inside her & the uretha of my pennis is very wild & also i was circumcised four times by four different nurses because of a mistake the 1st one made so i have no foreskin on my pennis at all my penis is just like the walls of a vagina, i didnt even feel anything when i was having sex with her because my penis was too short to reach the extend of her clitoris i ejacolated inside her & the sex only lasted for 3 minutes so please tell me please what are my chances of contacting the disease

    • Not likely, it doesn’t spread easily from vaginal sex and you were not inside her very long– don’t think about chances, just get tested instead as you that she was HIV positive, so there is a slight, slight chance. Very unlikely chance, but you’re better off to be tested.

  • i had sex with a girl two days back . we both did oral sex unprotected and did vaginal sex protected. after two day i had fever and in my throat developed white patches on my tonsil . whether its a symptom of HIV or any other STD.

  • 1st of all, I think it’s really awesome that you’re taking the time to help people. Thanks.

    Ok, please help me out here:

    I’m in senegal on holiday with friends. I met a chicken and slept with her and I found she’s a pro (I didn’t pay for anything though, so was confused about this when I found out!). I used a condom and it didn’t break.. But, I was drunk and had it on back to front and so turned it inside out and put it on properly, after having already penetrated her… The worst thing is, there was blood on the bed sheets in the morning! I washed straight after six… But I’m really scared that the blood and secure fluid could have entered my Penis after I turned the condom inside out! What do you think?? Please give me some advice! Thanks a liion

    • Sorry predictive text! I meant ‘met a chick’ not a chicken! Haha. And washed ‘after sex’

      Seriously though… I’m really worried!

    • You should buy a home test kit. Since she was a hooker and there was blood and condom failure, you’d be at higher risk… maybe 1%… it was pretty stupid being drunk and having sex with a girl. Most likely you’re alright, but you’ll never feel peace unless you get tested.

  • Thanks for your reply, do I have to go for any test? As I ejucaleted in her mouth And took shower after few hours, that’s the first ever time I had sex like this. Hopefully never again

  • Hi: I had sex with a prostitute for few sec I was entering my or us in her vagina when condom broke, I pulled out immediately few seconds after starting sex(no ejucalation inside at all) I went to toilet washed my penis with soap and then she gave me a mouth job on my penis in ejucaleted in get mouth after few minutes, I got scared luckily I had her phone number I called her and took her to doctor who took her blood and poured on a kit and gave written report as negative for std and hiv in 10 mins. I don’t know what test he did; as there any chance of catching any std or hiv from her, is there any chance that she may be in window period

  • Hi Jesse
    I had sex with a girl i know reasonably well,we started to use a condom but it kept coming off so we stopped using it.We ended our session with lubricated anal sex where i finished in her. She say’s she has been checked in last couple of weeks but i’m still really freaking out. Can you tell what my chances are of catching HIV from her if she did have it

    • Just get a test kit at a pharmacy, but remember HIV doesn’t transit easily, you have about a 0% chance of having it, and most likely she didn’t have it in the first place

  • Hi,
    I had unprotected sex with an aunt of mine on 31st Jn 2013.
    Since then I have been having an irritable bowel and after 5 weeks a throat infection. No fever.. No lymph nodes noticable.. i weigh 90 kgs now where i used to weigh around 92kg earlier..
    got tested for HIV awaitig results.. Shit scared.. Can u guide me..

  • I had protected sex with a friend the end of December 2012. There was no oral sex involved. The next day I got a fever blister on my lip. Kinda strange but i knew i was getting sick anyway. Now I’ve been waking up with dry throat & the left side of my groin hurts (I’m a female). I am so scared. What’s the chance i have gotten HIV? I am terrified.

  • Hi thanks for your article, I just took the test and I’m waiting for the results ( about 3 days) and the intrigue is killing me, but these kind of posts are reassuring.

    thank you 🙂

  • Hi.

    I was reading almost every possible article about the chances for getting HIV in a single course (between a positive woman and negative man). I just can’t get WHY are the chances SO low ???? What is the reason that it would take an average of at least 300 courses for one infection to be able to transmit ? most people do have some microscopic cut in their penis/vagina. Doesn’t it suffice for contact between the vagina fluids and the penis hole/cuts/fluid to occur ? any logical explanation for this ?

    Thanks !

  • hi jesse,

    2 weeks back i had only vaginal sex with a sex worker in a brothel in India. She wear me a condom which was supplied by her (http://www.rediff.com/money/report/free-nirodh-condoms-sold-as-foreign-brands/20091130.htm) before penetrating her. The whole session lasted 5-10 mins and the condom was intact. I ejaculated inside her. I doubt the quality of the condom used as it comes very cheap. Now since few days my skin on hands and lower legs has become very dry and i feel irritation in feets and hands. i am bit worried by this and want to know what r my chances of getting hiv or any other stds.

  • Hi jess,, I’m from India. Presently in Africa .. It’s a fantastic piece of knowledge u hv given to us and the furthers queries have given more clarity to the subject. However ,, I will request to solve my query as well. I had gone to a night club in Uganda whr I met a female and we ended at my room and did unprotected whole night, almost 4/5 times . Morning there were blood clots indicating start of her periods. She told she is not a worker n is clean. I’m clean for sure as I’m tested recently. What r my chances of being infected as this is first encounter of such sort in my life.. Lot if blood in morning is more threatening. Plz guide.

    • If you had blood on your penis during vaginal sex, the chance for transmission would be greater. Also, the HIV rate in Uganda is a bit higher than other places– you should buy a home test kit at a drugstore. Most likely you’re fine, but it was a little risky. Be smarter next time!!

    • Hi Fren,

      I was in almost a similar situation to yours! Also in Kampala, Uganda, I was very drunk and had two sessions with a sex worker. I realized the following morning that both condoms were empty, i.e. I must have ejaculated insider her. She claimed ignorance, so I didn’t suspect anything. In the days that followed I became increasingly worried about the incident, but it was too late for PEP. I came to the conclusion that she intensionally broke open the condoms (why else was she not worried?). I have not tested yet as I am not yet mentally ready yet, but intent to test before end July.

      Did you test, and what was your result?

      Thank you,

  • Hi. I’m female and I had unprotected sex a year and half ago. This was with a male in the uk. The first time he did not ejaculate and the a week later we had sex again and he did. I noticed afterwards i had a small amount of bleeding. His sti background is unknown.but I have recently tested positive for chlamydia. What is my chances if he was HIV positive? Would slight bleeding increase the risk?

    • Slight bleeding could increase the risk. The risk is greater for a girl than a man as well; on the bright side, he’s highly unlikely to have had HIV, but you should buy one of those home test kits from a drugstore. And be smart about it next time, use it as a lesson to make better decisions.

  • I just had sex with a Thai prositute in Singapore, she performed oral sex and vaginal sex on me, I wonder what’s the chance of me getting hiv, I’m very worried now! 🙁

  • i got a tattoo recently and im paranoid that i got hiv… my friend said he watched the guy put in a brand new needle but i dont remeber… is it likely to get hiv from resued tattoo needles?

    • No. The virus can’t survive long on a needle. Drug users can get it because they pass used needles immediately around to one another. But in your case, the virus wouldn’t survive and 99% chance they used a cleaned needle.

  • Hey Jesse,

    First of all, I like your atricle. Let me get straight to the point.

    I am from Guyana, South America. About 2 weeks ago i had protected vaginal sex with a girl i met for the first time (we were friends online for couple days). Prior to the vaginal sex, i had performed unprotected oral sex wit her for about 30 seconds or less (when i realised what i was doing i paused.) She then performed oral sex on me twice for about 3mins. She has a decent background, good job, looks very healthy, has a kid, about to get married in a few months time. I cant help being worried that i may have contracted HIV or so from the 30 seconds of oral sex i performed with her. I worried so much that i seem to be gettin chills all the time. I practice a very healthy lifestyle. I go to the gym 4days per week to work out, eat healthy, drink alcohol once a day per week. i did some reasearching and i came up with something called “mono”. i dont know if my mind is playing tricks on me but i am very paranoid of contracting HIV. Please help!!!!

  • Hey Jesse. Great article. I had sex with a girl who claimed to be a “good girl” But then after we had sex (vaginal only) she said she was “kind of a slut” and that she’d had sex with a guy only 4 days earlier. She said that she had her pap smear done earlier that month and came up clean on everything. But, I’m still worried because when I came I took the condom off and came on her back. I had a test done at 3 weeks that came back negative and I’m going to have another test done which will be around the 8 week mark. I’m just wondering if I’m at risk for taking off the condom and coming on her back? My friend told me that the spermicide inside the condom kills it and that hiv can’t survive long after air exposure.

  • Hi Jesse,
    I live in San Jose, CA. 10 days ago i went to a bar and hooked up with this girl, after a few hours she was in bed with me. I am 25 and she was 30. She told me she had two kids when she was 17 and 18 respectively. I didnt had condom with me that night, while driving our way home, i wanted to stop at a gas station to buy some condoms but the girl said, she was on her periods and sex would not be possible for her so dont bother about the condoms. So my stupid self stopped me from buying them. First she gave me a complete blowjob, for the second time, she went to the toilet and cleaned herself (she was on her periods) and then suddenly before i could realize, she inserted my penis in her vagina. it lasted for 2-3 mins, i did not come inside her.
    Ever since i have had a soar throat and cough (probably from her as she was coughing a lot).
    I inquired about her HIV status with her, she said she gets tested every 6 months and that she was clean, but i dont believe her. She smokes a lot and she said she was doing dope ever since she was 12 years old. no other drugs.
    I am a worried about getting infected with the HIV, please reply to this post so that i can know my odds of living.

  • I tried homosexual activity once with a belgian guy…i am from india…i entered him protected….and after that he entered me using a condom…which i think broke and a little sperm was inside me and rest he ejaculated outside my body(as i saw him takin out his penis and ejaculating outside)he penetrated me for 2 to 3 minutes.I was worried and asked him that if he ejaculated inside me or not..which he denied but after sometym i saw a just a little whitish discharge with my faeces(which i first thought was a torn anal membrane)..he brought a condom with him and he told me that he mostly has safer sex unless he knows his partner well…and he did maqle to male sex 50 times approx.i am still worried and moreover i am hypochondriac…pls tell me the chances of me acquiring hiv?

  • i used french tickler condom-[as per info ,it wont prevent std diseases]…with one prostitute in europe.so any chance of getting infected from her, if she s infected..so worrried..

  • O and I forgot to add I done it without one with her a often in the last few weeks and also worry since they say it can take years sometime to get positive results thanks bro

  • Hey I have been banging my old chick again and getting comfortable again I banged her without a rubber which I have done in the past with no prob. Still dumb but I’m getting over cold and ear infection being taking meds. N being over worried I have been lookin up diff things that could be word and came across that HIV cause white coated tongue with I have but I figured it’s from dry mouth and hygiene from the meds and also it said the sore throat thing. Also I have been getting the almost kind of numb/burning sensations in body on and off but the meds say that could be an side effect.. Please help bro it’s scaring the shit out me… But I’m a goggle freak man so a lot of this shit sound like symptoms 😐

  • Hi Jesse

    First of all very big thank you for your blog. I got very good relief after seeing your many posts.I am a 31 year old male from India. I had a vaginal sex with prostitute unfortunately while i was doing sex my condom was broken. I found immediately and taken my penis out and inserted a new condom and completed the sex.. My penis in her about 30 sec to 1 min(unprotected, not ejaculated inside her). i dont know her HIV status. I was on top and she was on bottom while i was doing vaginal sex.

    Today is 48th day after exposure(almost 7 weeks) i went to a Hospital and had tested for HIV1 and HIV2 and result came non reactive and also i had a test of VDRL and that result is also non reactive. Thanks to God both are negative. I know that only after 3 months test result is only confirmed but out of anxiety i am asking you. Am i out of danger. Please advice

  • Hi Jesse
    I am from India i had a vaginal sex with prostitute unfortunately while i was doing sex my condom was broken. I ejaculated in her. Immediately washed my penis with soap 3 to 4 times. My penis in her about 3 to 4 min. She physically looks healthy I asked her but she told she does not have any STDs and HIV but of course we never know. I do not have any cuts on my penis. I was on top and she was on bottom while i was doing vaginal sex.
    I have been freaking out since then. What are the chances of infecting HIV from her? is there any percentage changes infecting HIV if i was on top while doing sex ? Please advise me
    I am waiting for you reply plzzzzz

  • I Jess,
    I am male and had unprotected anal sex (stupid decision) with a female escort or prostitute. I was only thrusting inside her anus for <5 mins and did not cum inside her. What are may chances of getting HIV from this female? I do not know her HIV status. Please advise as I am very scared.

  • hey,jess.how u doin?
    well,i got tested again last week (40 days after exposure/penetrative with hiv+ girl) and it came out negative…what’s ur opinion? btw,happy new year to u! and thanks for replying

  • Thank you. Im never having unprotected sex ever again. Until I marry. For those ppl who read these post … never believe a person when they say they dont have anything.

    • Helo karina,itz going to be okay,i am in the same boat as you are in,i had sex with h.i.v+ girl,it was after we were done i got to know,juz pray to God…and i assure you its going to be owk,i’ll be going for my test next week,and for the fact that he dint cum in u,reduces the risk,its going to be okay

  • Sex was on Jan 19 2013 and I got tested on Jan26 2013.. I was told I need to test again bc it may be a false negative.. I will test again in 2 weeks ..that would mean it would be 3 weeks after the exposure. could that be a more accurate test.. I need to know:( im going crazy over here.

  • Hi Jesse! Im 22 yr old girl . Ok I had sex with a guy who says he is HIV positive… he has known since 2001. He didn’t tell me he had HIV until after we had sex.. he said he was afraid I would leave him. I only had sex with him one time.. what are my chances of getting HIV. he also mentioned he was undetected HIV.. and took his meds. He did not cum inside me..Im really scared. i got tested yesterday but im really scared. Please reply 🙁

  • How prevalent is HIV among white non drug using girls aged 17-20? I had sex with one this age a few times. She was an old girlfriend and would be shocked if she had it. Last question, with no Co factors how would a penis be infected through vaginal sex? Makes no sense to me

  • Hi Jesse
    I am from India i had a vaginal sex with prostitute unfortunately while i was doing sex my condom was broken. I ejaculated in her. Immediately washed my penis with soap 3 to 4 times. My penis in her about 3 to 4 min. She physically looks healthy I asked her but she told she does not have any STDs and HIV but of course we never know. I do not have any cuts on my penis. I was on top and she was on bottom while i was doing vaginal sex.
    I have been freaking out since then. What are the chances of infecting HIV from her? is there any percentage changes infecting HIV if i was on top while doing sex ? Please advise me

  • hey tanx jesse,in a way that keeps my my mind at rest……………is testing in a month after exposure accurate because i would be testing in a week”s time

  • Hey i had unprotected vaginal and anal sex with a Brazilian girl i met for about an hour and a half if i remember correctly, she said she had no STDs and was keen to use a condom but let it slide, my neck started hurting like 3 days later as well with a small lump, not sure if it was there before what do you reckon the chances are of getting HIV or maybe some other STD? freaking out a bit!

    • Mark, what are you doing banging girls without a condom? STDs transfer very easily. Fortunately for you, HIV does NOT transfer easily at all. Unless you have open wounds on your penis, you are fine. Still, you should get tested just in case that 1 in 1,000 chance that something happened. In the future, MINIMIZE your risk and USE YOUR COMMON SENSE.

  • hi jesse i had my first time sex for about 20 seconds with a girl who told me she was clean but later on i found she lied….i went for chek up and i was diagnosed with staphylococus aerus infection on the urinary tract..symptoms i have are..sweating a lot,fatigue,a white stuff on my tongue with about five pimple like stuff on it ,no swollen lymph node but am feeling them swell….what do you think are my chances of being infected with h.i.v…..am really scared..its three weeks now

  • hi I had one time unprotected vaginal sex in johannesburg with black girl, I am not sure due to friction my genital became reddish at that time we are friend .she assured me that she don’t have hiv. But from that day I have too much stress…googling much..what are chances of hiv?

  • Hi,
    Great article. Laid my fears a little.
    I’ve recently had a about 5 sessions of 3 some with my regular buddy (I’m gay) and we have been doing it with different guys in all occasions. We ALWAYS use a condom before anal sex (my buddy and I are both top). However, there is kissing and unprotected receiving of oral sex. I always make sure I do not brush my teeth before any sessions (to reduce instance of gum bleeding) and I visually inspect my penis for any cuts (none at all) before receiving oral sex. What are my chances of getting HIV in this case?

    Thanks!

  • Dear Jesse, i am new in your blog and i must say its quite inspiring and motivating for those of us that have reason to be here (scouring your blog). I am a male 34 yrs, and circumcised.I have had an encounter with commercial sex workers in South Africa and a couple of times, i have had condom breakages at which i would have already cum inside of the woman. I have always taken a pee immediately after discovering this breakage,wiped my toolquick and rushed home within 5 minutes and thoroughly washed my tool. I have never got any stds from this unfortunate instances. I also try to listen and be in tune with my body just incase i feel sickly or get any strange symptoms, of which i havent had any luckily.
    so my question is, being circumcised as we all know does reduce ones chances of contracting hiv atleast, but how much of a percentage risk do i stand seeing that i was the insertive partner in a vaginal encounter? also and most importantly! – what constitutes a cut or abrasion that would be a risk for infection in a penis.? i am extremely worried and i keep thinking the worst, i observe my penis all the time looking for any strange signs but nothing!..

  • Thanks for the informative article Jesse. I came across it as I am a little worried at the moment as I slept with a Zimbabwean girl in Harare this morning, unprotected. It was a silly drunken mistake which is now giving me a lot of stress. I am 26 and generally healthy and was tested a few months back and tested negative as I do get routine checks at least once a year in the UK which is the country I reside in. I’m in Zimbabwe for a holiday and met this girl in a bar who is my cousins friend and went back to hers where we had unprotected sex during the morning. She physically looks healthy but of course you never know, I know there is a high risk of HIV in Zimbabwe which is why I am concerned. It was a one time thing but then I heard rumors that she was quite promiscuous. I saw her again in the afternoon as she wanted to chat just to say hi but failed to ask about her status (which is something I should have probably asked before engaging in intercourse and of course should have used protection). I’m going back to the UK this week so will have to get tested when I get there, I am not sure how long I should wait. I am trying my best not to freak out and will probably call her tomorrow to ask for her status (if she knows). Should I try and get PEPs which may be hard to come by in this country? Should I watch for any symptoms like fever or thrush in the coming weeks?

  • Hey jesse I know you have been answering everyone’s worries hopefully you can find time for me…..so I went to atlanticcity got too drunk ended up fooling around with a street girl…first we used condoms but I was getting soft guess from the booze….she pulled the condom off and slipped it in raw….it happened so fast all it took me was a couple of pumps before I came (pulled out) I couldn’t have been raw for more than three minutes…..she was Asian an claimed she was from Holland….should I be freaking out like I am now ..does the fact I was raw for such a short time help my chances? I know it boils down to how the cookie crumbles but yoyr article has helped me so much so far any input would be great thank you so much

    • Banging a street girl while you’re drunk is pretty dumb in general, even if HIV wasn’t a risk. But no, your chances are very minimal, maybe 1 in 1,000 or 1 in 10,000, assuming she DOES have hiv which she very likely doesn’t. But use common sense man– minimize your risk

  • Hey thanks a ton, got my 12 week result today and it was negative relived sort of. When I was leaving they asked me to come back for another test after completing 6 months, is the 12 week test conclusive or the 6 months is required

  • Hey Jesse ..
    I had protected sex with a female friend on 12 22 12
    I wore a condom but my question is what is the possibility of
    Catching hiv from her if she was on top an I was on bottom she climaxed about 4 time then I came an pull out washed my genitals immediately after … I have had sex with her before unprotect I tested at 7 weeks an was negative. She told me she was negative but I have a hard time being convinced by her. Anyway I readed your intire article
    An was really surprised by the odds.. But my question is if she is infected can I contracted if she came on me while wearing a condom considering I had also just shaved down there as far as I’m concerned I didn’t have any cuts down there.

  • I had sex january last year with a girl 2 times , since i have had swollen lymph noeds gastro problmes and nervous about it then about march my friend told me she had HIV if true what are the chances of catching it ?

  • Hi, I had protected vaginal sex (about 10 mins or less) with a sex worker in Bali. Certain the condom didn’t break. She was early 20s, didn’t appear to have any herpes lesions either (which I’m also stressing about). I’m concerned about this type E strain. Does it mean I’m far more likely to have caught Hiv because of this strain? Thanks, pls help ease my mind 🙂

  • hi Jesse. im a 29 year old Male recent Divorcee, ive always been petrified of Dating for risk of getting HIV. now that i am single again i have been on dates and alwys use protection if i make love. my wife had genital herpes and i did contract it from her. now having this i always take great care in using condoms because my outbreaks appear on my penile shaft below the base of the head. i had an outbreak while i was dating someone and waited to have sex until they were in the healing scabbing stage to not put her at high risk. upon insertion of my date the condom failed completely and i was exposed to her vaginal fluid but i couldnt have been much considering she wasnt very wet and i IMMEDIATELY pulled out. i had her take an Oraquick Advance oral swab HIV1 AND HIV2 test with me and she came up negative. she says she gets tested every 6 months, she said she has only had sex with about 12 men her entire life but i also found out she MAY be an IV drug user. a few doctors on med help.org told me this is very low risk for contracting hiv and not to worry about HIV because it was such a brief exposure and she had a neg result using oraquick oral swab. can you give me any reassurance. i havent been able to function since this event.

  • Hi, three months back I was in pattaya for three days where I slept with three different sex workers, I had protected sex all the time but only once I had unprotected oral sex, two weeks after returning back I had a sudden bout of severe chills with fever followed by loose motions just for a day and then I was fine haven’t had any symptons otherwise but really worried if that was some sort of symptom I am really anxious as where ever I look I find some sort of a sign which suggest I may have HIV really anxious I went for a test but the result will take 8 days what do I do could I be infected or it was just a fluke stomach bug

  • I am female and had a sexual encounter with a 22 year old male of unknown status for HIV/STD. This is the first time I’ve done anything like this with a complete stranger. We kissed first and then he asked me to give him oral. I was hesitant, but I continued to lick the base of his penis trying to avoid licking the head or anywhere near the opening of his penis. I didn’t lick him for too long, maybe two or three times. I then put a condom on him and we proceeded to have sex. For the majority of it he had difficulty getting an erection and spent a lot of the time failing to penetrate me. He also fingered me but by this time I was already dry and lost the mood. Because of his inability to get hard, we stopped. There was no ejaculation. Then the next day he told me he had been experiencing painful urination for about a month after having unprotected sex with a female before me. I am extremely worried about the possibilities of me contracting anything from him by licking his penis. How high is my risk getting HIV/STDs from this event? I truly regret it because it is causing me so much stress and it isn’t good for my pre-existing condition of multiple sclerosis. Thank you so much in advance.

  • had sex with an 18 yr old thailand around 0ct 6th sex worker and didnt realise the condom had broke till after the fact.Am freaking out but will be gettin tested in the next week just to know for sure.

  • had sex with a black hooker in uk some years ago. Was protected, but she took the condom on with her mouth. After just two three minutes of sex i came inside her. All the semen was in the head of the condom. Then i can feil sure there was not any breakage and this was safe sex right? If she made small holes with her teeth, the condom would completely break right?

  • i don’t know if it matters but my ex is 35..he was with his previous ex for 5 years and has two kids but im not sure but i think they broke up close to when i met him. but i still don’t know his sexual history..

  • also, now that I’m stressing about this I’ve had another herpes outbreak, and that’s making me worry even more, because i read that HIV can cause more outbreaks..!!! ahh

  • I m a 21 year old girl,
    I had sex with my ex about 20 times or so in a span of 2 months, he told me he got tested 2 months prior to that for everything and all came back good(so he says) We have also done anal (which i was not for doing!!), but he has never came inside me. It’s been a month since Ive seen him, and this is the first time I have ever had unprotected sex with anybody!!… what are the chances he had HIV and didn’t know? He also gave me herpes when he “didn’t” know.. but i still had sex with him after i knew it was herpes! How dumb! I don’t know if I’m just over reacting but I’m paranoid about everything. I have not been in contact with him for a month. Do you think I have waited long enough to get test or should I wait longer? and if I get tested now and it comes back negative will i pretty much be in the clear?

    • It’s much easier to catch Herpes than HIV, and Herpes is far more common than HIV. So just because you caught Herpes from him does not mean that HIV would enter the picture whatsoever. If he didn’t come inside you, even if he was infected (and most likely he isn’t), then it’s highly, highly unlikely you would have caught HIV. You really shouldn’t have anything to worry about, but to get rid of the stress you should get tested- get tested so that you don’t cause stress, the stress will cause a big physical toll on your health. 6 weeks and the test will be very accurate.

  • Hi, I had sex with a girl who I suspect is a prostitute. It was protected, though when I withdrew, the condom had slipped off. Not sure how long it had been ‘off’ for. She said she was on her period, though there was no sign of blood. I am terrified and want to know the risk level/odds. Also have a lump on my scrotum which I wonder is a genital wart (do they come up within a day of fresh exposure?)

  • Dear what is difference between two vaginas and sex for 1 minute and sex for eternity? can that impact your HIV chances? also is it worth it pushing a Pussy making it important with HIV risk now that most kids stop watching movies and go for real things. In my opinion chances of HIV are from being near a Prostitute in her company as you can’t be sure of environmental factors. Can you get her Pregnant or get HIV that quick is dependent on yourself and your fate,nuff said.

    • i used french tickler condom-[as per info ,it wont prevent std diseases]…with one prostitute in europe.so any chance of getting infected from her, if she s infected..so worrried..

    • Raj, about 1 in 300 to 1 in 1,000… IF she was infected, and you don’t know that. But you did wear a condom, even one that doesn’t prevent STDs can still diminish the chances even more.

  • this article and what other individuals have posted really relieved me a lot from what i have been going thru for the past few days.. i couldnt even enjoy my xmas…i was extremely stressed out nd not eating well, i went from 188 to 168 in just 4 months though..however i just wunted to say that for tha past few months i have been freaking out nd being worried about catching something..eventually this hasnt intervined within my studies as a college student.. yet, in april i had protected vaginal and anal sex with a female who i just found out on xmas eve tha she was hiv positive for a while nd she has a 3 year old.. i am going to get tested january 3rd..can u tell me the odds, i even told my mom and a female friend who works with a doctor about this and they said everything will be find and i know this was a lesson for me, so i wont sleep with any random women nd to start gettin serious about life..this is just something i wanted to ask because i will be going to texas for independent baseball tryout in march and they are asking for physicals. much appreciated for the response

    • Let’s say you did NOT use a condom– then your chance would be 1 in 300 to 1 in 1,000. But you DID wear a condom- so your chance is 0% with a condom.

      Every guy goes through this as a wakeup call to take like more seriously and appreciate their life 😛

  • Hey,man..first of all,I’m quite surprise with how fast u response to others because u know,the thoughts really kills,thanks a lot…so 2 weeks ago,I had protected sex with a hiv positive girl in jakarta,indonesia,and we were also exchanging oral sex,and I came inside here (with a condom)..and now,I had this strange fever,it fells like my body is burning but the thermometer showed my body’s temperature at 36,5 Celcius,and my stress is killing me..what I wanna ask is am I at risk of being infected by HIV? I took a test 2 days ago and it was negative..thank for ur response!

    • The fever is from stress. That’s very common of guys worrying to death about hiv. You wore a condom. 0% chance you were infected, even though you state the girl had hiv. Get tested to put your mind at rest, because stress is very bad for your health. You will feel like a new man when the doctor says “you’re fine”

    • When do u think is the right time to get a test? I really need to put my mind on ease,I already took sleeping pills this several days,jess..really need ur help..

    • what kind of test,jess? the anti hiv test? or the ELISA? thanks for the answer..the girl is confirmed to be HIV + she just sent me her test result today

  • Jesse I had sex with a commercial sex worker in the uk at mid october at the end of november 12 I tested negative with a blood drawn from the vien test. How accurate can this be at 4-6 weeks. Also what is the risk if penetration was protected? I am racking my brains out with this.

    I keep feeling for swollen glands and I believe the stress can cause you to feel symtoms that isn’t there!

    Please help

    • even at 4 weeks it’s very accurate nowadays. she is probably clean. did you use a condom? even if you didn’t, AND she had hiv, there’s only 1 in 1,000 chance you would have caught it. I assumed you wore a condom and most sex workers in UK don’t have hiv. You were already tested negative. So you’re fine 8)

  • Thanx so much Jesse for the prompt response. I will try to see both a Neurologist for the pain throughout my joints and also a Urologist for the pain in the testicules. Your response has helped me quite a lot. But is it really a common thing to have such pains so that i should not stress before i go and see the doctors.

    I will be man enough my brother and would do very well with a lot more of responses and informative posts from you.

  • Hey Jesse

    I am a 31 year old man and i had protected sex with a commercial sex worker in March 0f 2011. the encounter only lasted 3 minutes and i ejaculated in the condom. I drove off to home and i washed my hands and my dick after an hour or so. after 4 days i got sick and i was diagnosed of malaria which was successfully treated in the normal time. i did not have an STD. however in october of 2012 i started to have mild to severe pain in my elbows, fingers, thighs, toes joints and occasionally in my pelvis. i also have had severe pain in my testicules since october 2012. i am very stressed and i am freaking out and i fear to get tested. i am having sleepless nights and i have lost appertite and sexual drive with my wife. she has begun complaining. I am exercising like playing social soccer but i am scared a lot of pple are telling me that i am losing weight.

    Help me ASAP Jesse.

    Will be checking regularly for your response.

    • Those are not symptoms of any std. 0% chance you have an std since a condom was used and you have no symptoms of an std. Losing weight can come from stress. If you have severe pain throughout your body, you may have an issue with your nervous system sending pain signals when it shouldn’t be– you should see a doctor. It is probably not serious, but the doctor will get you back on track so that you’re not stressing out. You need to fix the source of your stress, almost more than you need to fix the source of your pain. Whatever the doctor says, the worst has already happened; you already have whatever he is going to tell you (which likely will be nothing serious). Putting off the doctor will not change that or make it not so. Putting off the doctor is immature and unfair to your wife. It is time to grow up, man up, and do what men do- protect your family. Take the steps you know you need to take and stop running away from phantoms.

  • Hey Jesse,

    I’m a male in my early 20s and I’ve just returned from an overseas trip in South East Asia where I essentially had unprotected vaginal sex (condom breakage) with a fellow backpacker (Irish lass). I’ve had a test after 2 weeks -ve for everything (Chlamydia, HIV etc.). Currently freaking out due to flu like symptoms which I’ve had for a couple of weeks. Couple of questions, Should I be concerned about contracting HIV? What is my plan of attack from here testing wise and how confident can I be in the results?

    Cheers

    • It’s unlikely she has HIV based on her demographic. People tend to get flu when they travel, because they’re mixing with a lot of new germs. I think a lot of the fear is in your mind– you may want to get another test in a few weeks to put your mind at ease but otherwise you’re looking good.

    • Cheers for the advice, definitely is a mental battle.

      On the plus side, I’ve discovered your blog. Looks mint.

  • Hi jesse,

    Please tell me what are the chances of female to male hiv infection following a condom break during sex with a call girl.

  • lol, good article Jesse, nonetheless you are not a doctor. 🙂 I can only say we must all use protection for as long as the hiv status of the next person is not known with certainty…

  • I had unprotected vaginal sex w bf after he cheated on me. we are both under 20 but im freaking out that I have it we live in ontario

  • Hi Jesse: Thank you for your informative website!
    I am really concerned that I might get HIV infected.
    I am a Chinese and had an unprotected sex with a white female stripper in a gentlemen’s club a week or so ago. I could tell she probably was high and does drugs/alcohol on a regular basis. Don’t know if she has HIV or not. I did her twice in that night and came inside of her twice. I knew I had a small balanitis or red swollen on my foreskin.
    I am really scared now since her vaginal fluid might get into my bloodstream through the balanitis. What is the chance of me getting the HIV from her if she is HIV positive, which I don’t know.
    Please help answer me.
    By the way Jesse:
    I bought an OraQuick in-home HIV test kit today. Even thought the risk event was only about a week ago in the US, I was tested negative. That makes me feel a bit better though I will need to test again in 3 months to ensure the accuracy of the result. What do you think the result would probably be when I test it again in 3 months? Thanks a lot.

  • Hi Jesse,
    I am Ravi from india, Its was more info about HIV, I Thank you lot for getting this complete info about HIV, I had one time unprotected sex with an prostitute & i was much worried about hiv from the day i had sex with this prostitute.
    request you to reply, on my exposure to HIV the unprotected sex i had.
    Will be waiting for your reply.

    Ravi

    • it’s very very hard to get HIV from unprotected vaginal sex. Even if she did have HIV (and she very well didn’t), your chances are less than 1 in 1,000. You should still get tested though, and don’t do stupid shit again

  • I exchange oral with a women on a business trip, the whole thing lasted for 10 min. I got tested for gonorria and clamidia and both tests came back negative. For what ever reason I can’t get out of my head that I have hiv. I have had a few symptoms but I think they might be related to stress and guilt. What is your opinion ?

  • I had protected sex with a prostitute in geneva. What are the chances of getting HIV ? the condom dint break and it was only at max 3 min..

  • Hi, this has been REALLY bugging me for a few weeks now. I had unprotected vaginal sex with a girl maybe 4-5 times lasting anywhere from 10 to thirty minutes or more and ate her out for about an hour. I ejaculated in her maybe 3-4 times. Also she came on my penis and it dripped into my anus. She has also gone down on me a few times. How likely am i to have contracted hiv? Ps this was all within about two weeks time. I also have hpv but no open cuts I dont think.

  • Hi Chris,

    Thanks for the article. It is great.

    I had sex with a girl in singapore, i met her in club and we had sex same night. I had protected sex with her but unfortunately condom broke. I only realized that after the session, I further noticed that she had some menstrual blood as well. She was very much scared from this for some disease and so was I. She told me that she is clean as she gave birth 5 months back and got herself tested. I was tested as negative 2 months back. Can you please help me and tell what could be chances of me getting HIV. After how long I can get myself tested? I am very much scared, do you think getting a test in 8 weeks would be a good idea? Please advice.

    • I believe the HIV rate in Singapore is extremely low. Your chances are less than 1 in 1,000 overall. You could certainly get tested in 8 weeks… but don’t be all worried about it, relax.

  • Thanks for your fast reply, the given statistic really put my mind at ease a little. Throughout your career, how many confirmed HIV infection through broken condoms on a single encounter have you come across? I mean there is still a chance though very odd. Thanks again.

  • What are the chances of me contracting HIV from a prostitute in Phillipines from a single sex encounter if let say she is HIV positive. I had condom on but it broke during the intercourse and i dont know how long it was broken for. we only realised after the session. I have been freaking out since then. Appreciate the statistic and what i should do at the meantime while waiting for the window period? Please help , i am terrified.

    • if she was infected, your chance would be between 1 in 300 to 1 in 3,000. If she was bleeding from menstruation, it would be higher. Most likely though, she wasn’t infected in the first place.

  • What are my chances of contracting hiv from having unprotected oral and protected vaginal sex with a person high risk of having hiv? I am a male age 23 she was in her upper twenties. I did not ejaculate from the oral which lasted maybe 2-3 minutes and the protected vaginal sex was for about 2 minutes. Thank you for this page it has really helped ease some anxiety i had and i would greatly appreciate a direct response.

  • What do you think are the chances of me (female) getting hiv, if I had a one episode of vaginal sex (only) with my ex boyfriend, 7 months after we broke up? We started using a condom but took it off and he did not ejaculate. Will still do a test but want to know what you think are the chances.

  • YOU DON`T WANT TO GET AIDS OR ANY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE.Great article and warning message.Better be safe than sorry.If you get aids you are a walking corpse and knocking on death`s door.I hope they find the cure for aids,cancer,diabetes and every disease.This article has scared me into becoming a one woman man and avoiding sexual immorality and promiscuity as it says in THE BIBLE.

    • “walking corpse” – well, you are too, we’re all going to die pretty soon. If you get hiv, with modern drugs you’ll live about as long as anyone else. Another way to avoid disease is to wear condoms. It’s not about eliminating all risk (if you wanted to do that, you should never leave your house), but *managing* risk.

  • thanks for the informative piece jesse, this is a subject thats always at the back of my mind when i think about gaming chicks..

  • All good point, minus at least one thing missing:
    yes, the random chances with a random girl are 1 on 300 (plus the one of infection, let’s say 1 in 10000, but let’s leave that aside).
    Now, is you just met her, and you are in bed together, and
    a) she insists on not using a condom (she is on the pill, she is safe, whatever)
    or
    b) she won’t object to you not putting one,
    I’d say the chances that she has HIV are quite higher.
    Because, come on
    a) I am not that special that she should only want that with me
    and
    b) she has probably been around, and done the same with others.

    This means that, usually, on a easy date, if she wants me not to put a condom, I’ll consider using 2, or just bailing out…

  • Great article. Guys we have to be careful out there. The so called nice girls are the ones that will surprise you every time. As far as open relationships, they put you at risk because when she finds a new lover, the condom will eventually come off of him and you are now at risk. Think about it, if you slept with a girl a few times and decide not to use a condom on the spot does she ever complain? most women do not complain about that.

  • Am grateful for this post
    I decided to have a steady girlfriend but i have never told her.She is very insecure-still thinks i will “sleep outside”.Don’t you think suggesting an open relationship will make you look like a “player”(you want to f#u*?!cK everywhere) or a wuss i.e you fear she is going to leave you?please advice.

  • This website comes in my top 10 favorite websites which I visit on daily basis. I know it’s tough for you 😎 but when you take breaks of 18 18 days it becomes tough for us to keep on waiting for the next post. (I know it sounds rude)

  • One of the greatest posts. I daily visit your site; probably, from past 2 years. But this post made me to comment on it.

    You have such a great knowledge and your posts always help me. Although, this one is little different but it’s extremely informative for entire life.

  • Great post, its probably the first one I’ve read in its entirety in quite some time… Have you got the figures on male to male transmission rates?

    • No. But from what I understand, it’s very risky to take spunk up your backside because of small tears that are created in your anal tract. If the guy has HIV, you’ve got like a 10% chance of contracting it or something if he comes inside your backside. that’s one reason HIV has spread so quickly among gays.

    • thanks jess great stuff here!! sure your writing gonna enlight more youngster about sex ideology !! well done we hope some more news on it carry on
      God Bless you

    • Dude that was a great article. I have been living the last month and a half wondering if I had HIV. That kinda puts my mind to rest. Very well done sir.

    • I tried homosexual activity once with a belgian guy…i am from india…i entered him protected….and after that he entered me using a condom…which i think broke and a little sperm was inside me and rest he ejaculated outside my body(as i saw him takin out his penis and ejaculating outside)he penetrated me for 2 to 3 minutes.I was worried and asked him that if he ejaculated inside me or not..which he denied but after sometym i saw a just a little whitish discharge with my faeces(which i first thought was a torn anal membrane)..he brought a condom with him and he told me that he mostly has safer sex unless he knows his partner well…and he did maqle to male sex 50 times approx.i am still worried and moreover i am hypochondriac…pls tell me the chances of me acquiring hiv?

    • Hello Ive been to Thailand recently and had a sex with a hooker and after minutes the condom broke soon after I washed my penis with Listerine as there was nothing else to wash with and again starting sex using another condom I don’t know if she is infected…what is thechance of getting infected?? I’m religion scared….

    • Hello Ive been to Thailand recently and had a sex with a hooker and after minutes the condom broke soon after I washed my penis with Listerine as there was nothing else to wash with and again starting sex using another condom I don

    • hi jesse,
      your article has calmed my nerves. but im still so freaked out. especially with this e strain information. please help me. im in Phuket, it was 10 days ago i had drunk unprotected sex with a 28yr old thai girl. i dont know what i was thinking. i think she used to be a bar girl, she had cigarrete burns on her legs. we had vaginal sex three times i cummed in her twice and the sex was at times rough and deep, at one stage i noticed her cum/discharge on my penis. i had condoms in my room i dont kn ow what the fuckkkkk i was thinkning. i asked after if she had diseases she of course said no, she claimed she had an australian boyfriend for 6 years, maybe that helps my situation i dont know. so lets assume she has strain e hiv …what are my chances? stats? etc…

      im getting tested as soon as i get home but that will be in a few days so only 2 weeks after the incident?? i feel no symptoms. please help..

      • Nice knowledgable share . Thanks Much !! GodBless.

        Long story short

        I had sex with an Indian prostitute and that was the first time i was doing that nad was not able to do that properly even .

        Some how did that and tried alot of positions there . at the end she masturbated me hard and making condomn week and when i was about to cum i asked her to cum on top and this way i came and suddenly she realized the condomn was broken so i was on her with out protrectio for 15-20 sec

        Can u plz access my risk ?

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