You obviously want to be a positive guy around girls if you want to attract them.
But there’s a different kind of positivity and negativity that I want to talk about – and that’s how you think from moment to moment.
One of the things to remember is that, you become addicted to what states you most commonly access.
So if you spend a lot of time feeling and being positive and happy, it’s really easy for your brain to go back to that place of positivity and happiness.
If you spend a lot of time worrying, it’s very easy to trigger worry in that person.
If you spend a lot of time being depressed, it’s very easy for that person to go into a depressed mood.
You get, in effect, addicted to whatever state you spend the most time in, even if the states are negative ones.
And what I’ve noticed is with some guys that I’ve met, is that they have somewhat negative thought patterns or thought loops.
They’re addicted to thinking negatively.
Other guys are addicted to thinking positively.
And the types of things that a guy talks about most tends to be a reflection of the state they’re addicted to.
So if you’re a positive guy, you tend to gravitate in your thoughts and conversation toward positive outlooks or the positive sides of things.
So if you tell a positive guy a negative story, like, “Uh… this girl dissed me when I went up to her, I suck man.”
The positive guy will like, “Uh that sucks man, but don’t worry about it, there’s tons more girls about there… why just the other day this positive thing happened, and this positive thing, positive, positive, positive… blah, blah, blah…”
A positive-addicted guy is always ignoring the negative and veering his thoughts and conversation to the positive.
In other words, it’s like his brain is locked into positive thinking and positive feelings.
Conversely, a guy addicted to negative thinking and negative states, will always latch on to the negative side of life, wanting to pick apart all the negative aspects and deeply explore them and dwell on them… while blowing off the positive side.
So if you ask the negative guy about his experiences, he’ll usually just remember the most negative aspects of them.
Like, if you take him out to a bar and he talks to 3 girls, he’ll only recall the one girl that blew him off.
Or if you take him to a hot club, he only recalls the long drive it took to get there or how much it cost to get inside.
Or, he can approach a girl, have an awesome conversation with her, and he still believes that she didn’t like him.
In other words, it’s like his brain is locked into negative thinking and negative feelings.
It’s kind of like when a girl addicted to negativity acts and thinks, when she loses 20 pounds and everyone tells her she looks terrific and amazing, and she’s still absolutely convinced that she looks ugly, or she gets a boob job and she’s still self-conscious and self-hating about her breasts, even though everyone else tells her otherwise.
The guy stuck in negativity, who practices it everyday, his brain is literally blocking from having success.
So, you’ve got to ask yourself, what states are you addicted to?
Do you spend most of your time being anxious and worrying?
Do you spend most of your time feeling happy and excited or giddy?
Do you spend most of your time depressed?
Is most of your time spent in positive thought loops and states, or negative ones? Are you addicted to positivity or negativity?
And I’m asking that question because, if you’re addicted to the negative, you’re getting in your own way.
Even if I handed to you all the answers on a silver platter, you’d still go absolutely nowhere with them because you’re steadfast deadlocked in seeing the darker side of every aspect and every situation. Like a runner who is self-convinced that he’s already defeated and it’s already over. You can’t win the race that way.
And it’s really, from what I’ve experienced, ONLY the positive-oriented guys that have success in pickup and succeed with this. Because positive guys, their brain focuses on the positive of what he learns and does, and because of that he grows, he pushes himself, he stays motivated.
While guys who focus always of the negative, I’ve noticed they give up REALLY FAST. They have a few experiences, focus on the negative, and give up. And they do that in most aspects of their lives, not just with them.
In other words, if you’re spending most of your time addicted to feeling depressed, or angry, or anxious, or hateful of women, or whatever it is, the odds are REALLY stacked against you in succeeding at this.
So if that’s you, what you want to do is start mimicking the patterns of positive successful guys. Where you focus on the successes and you ignore the failures. You focus on what went right and you ignore what went wrong. You focus on good feelings, and you simply let the bad feelings pass and you don’t dwell in them.
That’s the key to staying motivating and enjoying this process.