Here’s how to deliver a direct compliment to a girl and have her love your for it… even if she’s “out of your league”.
Most guys however try to show their interest “indirectly” by hiding it.
So is it most effective to approach a girl “directly” or “indirectly”?
An indirect opener is where you HIDE your sexual intent from the girl. For instance, you use an opinion opener, which goes like,
“Hey girl, I have just a second but I need your opinion on something… do you think these sunglasses look cool on me?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0qMmNi8Mw4
And then, eventually, LATER, you come around to showing your interest in the girl, only AFTER she’s given you some indicators of interest so that you know that she likes you.
Basically, you’re waiting for the girl to be Lovestruck for you, show intent and IOIs for YOU, before you show any sexual intent to her. That’s what an asexual opener or an opinion opener effectively does.
And guys like that because it’s the “safest” most low risk form of opener. There’s no chance of rejection, because you’re just asking a non-investing question that takes no effort or social risk on the girl’s part to answer.
And you can certainly go that route and still get laid. But there’s a problem with not showing your sexual intent up front.
The Downsides Of Opinion Openers
With an opinion opener, you’re not giving the girl much emotional juice to work off of. It’s just flat. She answers the question.
She’s not going to feel much from you.
If you’re not sexual and horny or in love for the girl, she’s not going to feel anything much for you either. She’s only going to feel what you’re feeling, and if you’re flat and hiding your sexual intent, she’ll have no reason to feel sexual intent back.
And hiding your intent is not FUN. You feel kind of lame and wishy-washy, and unmanly.
Hiding your intent to try to get permission first, to see if the girl likes you or not, just feels lame – and it is lame. If you’re attracted to the girl, be a man and let her know and show your intent first and LEAD. The woman will appreciate that so much more than when you hide it and try to spring your sexual intent on her later.
So get that in Lovestruck or horny feeling for the girl, like she is THE girl in your universe and go up to her. And open directly.
How To Deliver A Direct Compliment Opener In A Way Girls Like
A direct opener is just a compliment opener where you state your desire and sexual intentions directly to the woman.
For example, you say, “Hey, my name is Jesse. And you are an angel.”
Or you just say in a club, “Damn you’re hot.”
Or in a bookstore you can say, “You looked so cute that I had to come and talk to you.”
Slow down your words, break rapport or neutral rapport, and smile.
It’s neutral rapport, relaxed and normal paced, positive and with a smile. And look right into her eyes, laser focused into her eyes.
And if you’re in a club or bar, you can even go more with breaking rapport and opening hard. “Hey! You, yeah you! You are fucking cute, who are you???” So it sounds more accusatory, which will put her into a seeking rapport mode in response.
Go punchy, direct, aggressive, masculine charged, and showing your intent from the get-go.
And if you go in with nothing in your head but to compliment, it will feel spontaneous to YOU and to HER and that’s important – it will feel totally in the moment.
Why Direct Compliment Openers Work Well On Girls
All that beaming energy and core sexual intent inside will be translated through you and she will open right up.
And after the direct compliment, you just cut it out with the compliments and immediately start talking about something else. You just plow on with other stuff. So that she can’t hold onto the compliment or object.
Now, here is why being direct right-off-the-bat and showing your intentions from the first moment can be so effective.
Right away the girl feels the underlying sexual tension. The sexual tension is there and you separate yourself out from the other guys.
You’re making her FEEL something HOT right off the bat, even if she’s not immediately attracted to you yet.
It’s out of the way, the cat’s out of the bag, you’ve done the hard work of breaking it to the girl that you want to fuck her from the first moment so that you don’t have to do it later.
A straight up compliment tells the girl, “Hey I’m not afraid to express my desires as a man, I’m not backing down, and I go for what I want when I see it.”
It sets a sexual frame, conveys that you’re confident, and that you have a sense of entitlement to get what you want.
And now she’s met a man who’s not afraid to express the truth, who is being real with her, who’s not looking for her permission to express himself, a man who makes no apologies for having a Dick.
She’ll feel that sexual tingle because women are inherently, biologically attracted to men to take the lead and act recklessly.
And when you fall in love with her a little bit to be attracted to her, or see her as the mother of your children, or feel that she’s that special one –that is one of the reasons a woman can get attracted so FAST, because she rarely gets that vibe from a guy.
So being direct is the most attractive opener for a girl, whether a bar, club, or bookstore or coffee shop.
Direct Compliment Openers Make YOU Feel Happy Too
And when you express your intent, the serotonin “happy hormone” level in your brain increases. Expressing your sexual intent to a woman makes you feel good and it pumps your state.
But when you go in with just say an opinion opener, and you stop expressing your intent to women, you happy hormone serotonin crashes back to a normal level and you don’t get that rush.
So expressing your intent just makes you feel happy and fucking cool.
And the girl will just get that rush too. You’ll elicit the sexual state in her.
Destroy Your Competition
And you’ll have NO competition because 99% of the guys, even the guys doing pickup with other systems or reading the Internet, are too afraid to project that sexual intent and open with a direct statement of interest or compliment. Instead they just bury and hide their desires, and the girl doesn’t feel anything.
So your competition is WEAK and it’s SO easy to beat these other guys.
Direct openers work even BETTER on beautiful girls, because although beautiful women get hit on, it’s NOT done in this kind of direct, no apologies, totally Lovestruck manner. So they appreciate it even MORE.
You’d think being direct and expressing your intent with a compliment up front would be MORE awkward. But in fact, being direct is LESS awkward. Approaching strong feels on the surface more awkward because it’s more “in the girl’s face” – but it’s actually LESS awkward because it sparks attraction right off the bat and you don’t need to break the news later.
Conversely, using an opinion opener and hiding your intent, on the surface seems easier, less awkward, less risky – but in reality, it causes all sorts of weirdness as the minutes go by, because the girl isn’t into you, she’s not feeling anything from you, and the interaction stales out unless you spring your true desires on the girl which then can seem weird.
You’ve got to let the girl know at some point that you’re a sexual guy and that you like her at some point, she’s got to know that. So, let her know straight away and you just make it so make it so much easier for yourself!
So that’s just a basic primer on how to show masculine sexual intent.
Your mission then, is to start approaching women feeling that intent, that love for her, that sexual urge for her, even if she’s not your type, even if she’s just a 7 or 6 out of 10, and then opening with a direct compliment, and then plowing on with whatever else!
crap advice
So, on here you clearly advocate being direct vs indirect when meeting girls. But on your “indirect vs direct openers” article you talk about how direct will hardly ever work if “you’re a 6 and the girl is a 10″…which numbers are completely subjective depending on what you’re attracted to… and you need to be more indirect….so which one are you actually advocating?
For me I hate beating around the bush and wasting time. I consider myself a 6 and I’ve had more luck being direct with girls I think are 9’s and 10’s than doing some stupid opinion opener that I don’t care about…just to find out 30 minutes later they aren’t interested or have a boyfriend.
What he is saying is correct. Jessie knows his shit what he does works. A 6 trying to open a 10 wont work unless she shows you signs of interest. Direct works on girls who are feeling you. Indirect works for those who feeling you as well as not sure yet about you. Or even the ones you have to build attraction with. If the girl thinks your hot direct will work. Try going to a 9 or 10 in the day and go direct. Unless your 9 or 10 yourself you will get rejected. Jessie teaches all round game not just night club game. And he is one of the best.
Excellent article, I loved it
thanks man
Yes true, I have practiced very daygame in my town, and approaches that seem to work best is to be direct, be from the beginning clear with your intentions. Without asking for information or opinion, instead, I leave for a sincere compliment and say openly that I found an interesting and attractive girl and I went to meet her.
This is true. I am a daygamer in London, and I go up to women in the street to try to seduce them.
I’m not very good at it (2 lays in 1000 approaches) but I find I do better when instead of saying “you look really nice” I say “you look really sexy”.
Jesse charger for president!!!
is it best to go with building emotional rapport right after this? or just telling stories? and great article by the way
Hey Jesse I emailed you earlier but you said you could only respond on here so here is the question again:
There is a popular girl whom I asked out earlier in the school year, she said “yes” but called it off a few days later. I found out recently that she went for an upper classmen guy with a car instead. On Valentine’s day I tried to ask her again because I had heard that she had broken up with her boyfriend but she cut me off mid-sentence and rushed off.I had only complemented her. Now I am unsure of whether she has a boyfriend or not. What can I say to fix the awkwardness? Get her to maybe regret cancelling the date? Anything would be helpful. Thanks in advance, you are the only person I can ask and get a good answer!
Here’s the thing- just getting a “Yes” from a girl, doesn’t mean that she will actually meet up with you. And just because you get a girl’s phone number, doesn’t mean that she will answer the phone.
Even if she sincerely wanted to go out with you in that moment, it doesn’t mean that she’ll be in the same headspace weeks later.
Probably because you asked her out, but then didn’t make any follow up moves, she lost interest and attraction for you.
There’s not much you can “say” to fix the awkwardness. Sexual attraction is created through touch mostly, not words. Instead, you’d want to get into her social circle and then be around her and thumb wrestle her, tickle her, hug her when you see her, that sort of thing- that’s what will create the attraction.
I know you’re looking for some magic words that will instantly fix everything, but you won’t find it– unfortunately.
I’m gonna try this. It definitely goes against most other “advice sites”. Thanks.
Hi Jesse,
Basically, i like this new girl at school and i really don’t know what to do because im kinda ‘new to the game’ and she is russian. She is in none of my lessons, but i really think she is the one. Please help, what should I do?
Zzzz
ask me on the forum man !
omg, you are on the money! I have a guy i had never met before walk right up to me with a really over the top compliment – he was early forties, short and bald. i am 25 and blonde. It really worked – it made he start to like him. only bad thing about it is that you will come off as a bit of a player…..
hey man cool stuff.hey i been in the game for sometime by right now am facing a big problem on approaching during the day.before going out i tell myself that am going but when the time come kinda feel stuck.i have done affirmations but i jus need another way to help motivated.and how do keep yourself motivated esp in face rejection.
awesome article derek, keem ém coming
thanks ric
Jesse: Totally works. I’ve told friends and they don’t believe it. Too bad for them. Everyone likes clear communication and asking for what you need sexually works.
Ken: Get your nose fixed by a doctor and hit the gym.
All: Rent the movie “Glengarry Glen Ross”. When Alec Baldwin discusses the ABC’s then think about what Jesse says when he mentions ‘plow on with other stuff’. (also on youtube).
My $.02
Steve
Steve, thanks for the 2 cents input- you added value, dude. I just watched that Alec Baldwin speech on youtube- brilliant entertainment. Have fun guys and get in there! 😀
hi jesse i am new here. In general could you give me a few tips to feel attractive as i have a very very noticable impared nose. I cant/pull get any girls at all and its very frustrating watching all my friends doing it. Could you please send on basic tips so i can feel better about how i look,build confecence and how to get somewhere with girls please. Thanks
ken the site is full of free tips!
Good morning Mr Charger,
I do rather appreciate the name Jesse Charger. Good fun.
Being of a dry sceptical frame of mind, I read your post with interest and had a few questions. I do like the idea you emphasise of approaching members of the opposite sex with that direct positive energy (which I confess I need more of), but over here in the UK people tend to be more reserved and there’s a not insignificant risk of being perceived as too puppy-dog friendly and not coolly mysterious and intriguing. Think James Bond!
I liked very much what was skilfully unsaid in the last line of your post. I wondered what you may have had in mind with ‘plowing on with whatever else’…perhaps this could be developed in a future JC offering (:
Cordially,
Mr David
Leave your comment below, thanks !! 😛
I was thinking of ways I can accomplish this while reading the article:) Great advice as always, Love the help bro..
set up the scene: I see girl, kinda thinking to myself a suttle back up manover into her or group (lightly, as not to spill a possible drink) turing around with a excited feeling and then . To the girl I want to know:
“Hey, do you think this tie looks seems to formal?” as if I need a real answer because I want to impress someone eles (Wait for answer) “Thanks, by the way you look amazing”
As I walk away and look forward to the second stage later.. Hows this?