I want to give you a little formula for attracting women. And it’s this.
Momentum lead to entitlement. Entitlement leads to indifference. And indifference leads to attraction with women.
So if you want to be attractive, you’ve got to attract women, you start with momentum, which builds entitlement, which leads to indifference, with is what attracts girls.
So let me explain that cascade of cause and effect.
Stage #1. Momentum
First with momentum. When you start out your night, you’re going to feel kind of cold, shaky, nervous, stale, out of your groove.
So you want to start out the night relatively easy with no pressure on yourself. Your only “mission” is to open girls and say hello, and be purely social. You’ve got nothing to prove, you have nothing you’re trying to get from the girls, you’re not trying to impress them in ANY way. It’s just, “Hi, my name is Jesse,” smile, and say whatever comes to your mind at that moment.
And getting blown out is perfectly fine, you’re just being social. No pressure and no pressure to avoid getting blown out.
What you’re doing here is building momentum.
Stage #2. Entitlement
Now after about an hour of just being social and building momentum, what’s going to happen is that you start to build a sense of entitlement.
That’s the second step in the cascade, entitlement.
Once you’ve opened like 10, 20 girls just to be social and saying hello, you start to build momentum, it’s like you get this bit of a rush, where you feel entitled to open more girls.
Like whereas before momentum was against you, it was really hard just to say hello to that first girl, now it feels like an unseen force is pushing you FORWARD to open more girls, like you get on this kick.
And you just feel this naked, raw feeling of entitlement to open girls.
When you feel entitled to the girl, you stop caring how it’s going to go, because you’ve already talked to so many girls you get a feeling of abundance. You know you could get with this girl, or if not her, the next girl, and if not her, the next girl. Because you’re seeing it with your own eyes, you’re actually doing it for real, and it’s an established fact in your brain, just as you know the sun will rise the next morning.
Stage #3. Indifference
And then following, entitlement comes indifference.
Indifference is when you see the hottest girl in the club or bar, and you go up and talk to her, just as if she was like any other girl.
You can now talk to her like it’s nothing, because you’ve already been chatting everyone else up, you’ve already talked to 10 or 20 other girls, and as a result of that you’re far more indifferent to the outcome.
Stage #4. Attraction
And the girl, will the feel attracted to the indifference. Because you’re going up to her relaxed and with momentum and entitlement behind your back, and you’re not like any other guy she’ll meet because of that raw, entitled energy you’ve got.
How To Build Momentum
Now in your first approach you ever do, you’re going to be nervous talking to the girls, no matter what. You’re going to be nervous and it’s going to feel like lightning is coursing through your veins.
And most likely you’ll eject after a minute or two, leave the set, feeling pretty awesome about yourself.
And most likely, you’ll have spent weeks and weeks walking around trying to work up the nerve to do that first approach or spent weeks and weeks in preparation thinking you need a perfect gameplan, so that you’ll never be rejected.
And you put a lot of expectations on that first approach.
But that cannot last. You eventually want to be meeting women every day. And you can’t make every approach perfect or prepare for every approach, that would be massively counterproductive, just put you inside your head, and make you go insane.
That’s why you’ve got to think in terms of the first approach as a warm-up approach that doesn’t count. You just dive in.
A warmup approach is just to get you started.
You’re not caring about the outcome.
You don’t care what she looks like, who she’s with, or what you’re going to say.
Complete flying blind.
And the only criteria for success is to do that first warmup approach.
It doesn’t matter if it goes well, or if it goes badly, you don’t care about the outcome positive or negative. Only the approach matters!
And once that first approach is out of the way, man does it make things SOOO much easier.
It gets your mouth moving. It gets your juices flowing. It gets the blood pumping. It floods your brain with serotonin and the body with testosterone. And it pulls you out of your head, you build some social momentum, and the approach anxiety melts away as you state changes from doing the approach.
It’s that warm-up that makes all the difference.
You can even start off with a dumb opener question that breaks all the rules of opening, like “Do you come here often.”
Something really lame and cheesy. Just something. Really lower your standards.
You’re just warming up, just building momentum.
Even, “Hey my name is Jesse. And you are?” Is a great opener just to get the social juices flowing.
You can use situational openers, like “Hey what’s up with the red dress. You’re the only one in here wearing the red dress. I like it. What’s your name?” And the conversation is started.
Or, “You look bored.” Or “You look lonely.” Those will work too.
And as you build up, you can start to feel the fury of your sexual intent and move onto more direct openers, like “Hey, you’re cute!”
And remember all of these work better if you’re using breaking-for-rapport tonality. Again that’s really the key to making any opener work.
Instead, “Uh, uh…. You look bored??” like you’re asking her a question and looking for her approval or her permission to talk to her…
ANY approach will come off as very alpha if you say it with break-rapport tonality. “Hey girl, you look bored!” Like that.
And as long as you use breaking for rapport tonality, pretty much any line will open the girl.
Again, on the warmup, don’t worry about breaking for rapport, it’s a warmup, technique and results don’t natter. With a little momentum, THEN you’ll find your stride and naturally fall into breaking rapport.
But on that first opener, your focus is purely freedom from outcome. You don’t care about the results, positive or negative. You don’t care about what happens. You’re not thinking, you’re not inside your head, you don’t have any methods or techniques, or tactics. Pure going on blindness.
And then, introduce breaking for rapport tonality.
And that will make your day of talking to girls much easier and simpler and get you better results.
Attraction Isn’t Hard
We don’t have, in our lives, any role models of guys who really get crap loads of hot girls. Most likely, none of your friends, or work colleagues, or anyone in your family is a real lady’s man that pulls girls home every weekend.
So the most easy conclusion we have is that attracting women has to be really hard, and complicated, and complex. Getting girls has to be this skill you have to spend years mastering all the tactics to impress the girl.
But really getting good with girls is actually far more counter-intuitive.
You’re not so much adding new skills, as you have to let go of a bunch of old programming, letting go of years of social conditioning and bad thought processes and misleading mindsets.
Like the first kinds of questions that you ask yourself are questions like,
“How can I make girls like me?”
“What is the right thing to say to them to impress them?”
“What should I wear to get approval from girls?”
“What kind of nonverbals do I use to be liked?”
“What’s the specific best action for this specific situation to get acceptance?”
“What indicators of interest am I looking for to have permission that it’s okay to talk to the girl?”
The problem is, all of these kinds of questions or mindsets, are obsessed and worried with getting acceptance, being liked, positive outcomes, getting permission – all the act OPPOSITE of indifference.
A bad boy, a cool guy cares NOTHING about any of these things. No, he’s indifferent.
And to get really hot girls, that’s the thing.
You can’t care.
You can’t give a damn about making her like you.
You can’t give a shit about having “the right things to say”.
It’s paradoxically, when you’re indifferent to being in front of beautiful woman and the actions you take on her, that you feel fully entitled to do what you want and take what you want and say what you want and touch what you want – complete, bonafide indifference – that you get the BEST results.
And momentum gets you there. Momentum by opening lots of girls, moving your way to entitlement, and stepping into indifference, which is what makes you extremely attractive.