Never Give Up! Why Pain, Discomfort, And Grit Makes You Become The Man Girls Go For

A lot of guys have this habit that when they become uncomfortable, they feel that’s justification enough to just stop whatever they’re doing.

For instance, they go to a bar or club for the first time in years, and they’re very uncomfortable and feel out of place – and they decide that, “bars and goes just aren’t for me right now in my life”, and they stop going all together.

Or they decide to start a business, and the first moment they get bored or it feels hard, they just let the ball drop.

Or they want to write their own book, and they meet some resistance from writer’s block, it feels uncomfortable, and they just don’t get back to it.

Having some passing negative feelings is NOT a good reason to give up on something.

Do you think that’s an attractive trait to women?

Imagine it were caveman days 10,000 years ago, and you’re a young guy trying to prove yourself to be sex-worthy to the other women in the tribe.

It’s cold in Ice Age Europe, and you’ve got to go out and HUNT some wild game.

You step outside and it’s fucking COLD.


This is going to be a fucking CHALLENGE.

So you turn tail. You go back into your cave at the first hint of discomfort.

You are quick to give up to protect your “feelings” of comfort.

Instead, the rest of the guys go out and brave the elements to bring back food to the women.

You might be comfortable this way, but you’re not going to get LAID this way.

What makes a MAN is that he PERSISTS in the face of physical and emotional discomfort.

He’s on a MISSION and NOTHING will stop him, not even his own fears and foibles.

He might not succeed, but he never fucking stops and nothing holds him back.

Bars and clubs feel uncomfortable??? If that’s your excuse for not following through on your life, you’ll never accomplish anything of worth. Because everything of worth will feel uncomfortable at times accomplishing it – boring, uncomfortable, fear, uncertainty, and the rest.

But following through in the face of a hurricane of SHIT is called being a MAN.

Because women want a guy who will stop at NOTHING to get what he wants. Woman want a man who doesn’t give up. That’s the kind of man that can provide for her children and spread her genes, even when the going gets tough.

Part of the problem is that men are conditioned today by modern conveniences for easy pleasures.

I used to program video games back in the day, so I know the deal.

Easy payoff with zero risk – turn on Call of Duty and you get the thrill of warfare victory and sense of accomplishment with ZERO of the risk and ZERO of the discomfort -except maybe a sleep leg.

You can press a button on the remote and instantly get good feelings and laughs watching Comedy Central or be entertained by television dramas. Or fuzz out watching silly videos on the Internet. Again, zero effort.

We’re coddled by modern technology to have easy payoffs and easy feelings.

So when we meet anything that’s a real, fucking, hard-ass CHALLENGE – like starting our own business, writing our dream novel, or blowing up bars and clubs or approaching women – we GIVE UP at the slightest discomfort or resistance.

That’s why 90% of the Maxim Readers out there are just looking for a “magic bullet” pickup line.

They want an easy “trick” that they can learn in 5 minutes that will magically make a woman spread her legs.

It’s the same reason so many people buy abdominal blasters and diet detox shakes instead of just eating a sensible diet rich in vegetables and hitting up the gym three times a week. They’re conditioned to seek easy feel-good feelings and magic bullets.

But to grow into a MAN, you have to let go of this idea that a feeling of discomfort is enough reason to stop something big and worthwhile.

Because it’s not. Anything worth fighting for WILL make you feel a massive level of discomfort at first.

But you’ve got to blast through that wall, dedicate yourself to the long-haul, have dogged persistence, be consistent, and never give up – particularly never give up over “your feelings”.

Bad feelings will come and go. You’ll have highs, and you’ll have lows. But your mantra is consistency, persistence, and dedication in the face of all adversity and resistance.

And by following the Reckless exercises and lessons, you’ll emerge on the better side of the game – relaxed ease, fun, and sex with cute girls – more quickly than you might expect.

Are you going out and meeting women despite internal resistance that you might feel?

Are you exercising and hitting the gym to stay fit healthy?

Yes, it’s fucking tough. Yes, it’s a bitch. Yes, it feels uncomfortable at first.

But that’s life man. And that’s what brings success and reaps the REAL rewards in life – persistence in the face of those feelings and adversity.

So step up, follow through, be persistent, and NEVER fucking give up.

Why Discomfort Is GOOD For You

Listen, it’s a process.

Most guys have a fit of inspiration at first, then they realize how long this is going to take and it’s more difficult than they first thought, they realize there’s more discomfort involved and real change involved, and because it’s not a magic pill solution or process than can be solved in a week, and that they’ve got a lot of habits and mindsets that need to be given up, they say fuck it and they give up on the journey.

That’s the thing about this process though, that you’ve got to change your discipline, you have to change your focus, you have to change your habits, you have to change your schedule, you have to go through a level of pain and discomfort, you have to learn how to change. And once you change, you’ve got change again. And once you change again, you’ve got to change again.

Meaning, there’s very little comfort in becoming a cool guy.

Because the process of meeting women is going to expose ALL of your weaknesses, it will expose all the flaws in your character. It will expose that you’re being a weak pussy, it will expose what’s fucking lame about you. Meeting girls is like being exposed out there naked for the world to see all of your foibles.

And that transformation to becoming a rock solid cool guy isn’t easy, it isn’t pleasant all the time, it’s not about being liked by everyone. There’s a certain degree of awkwardness and discomfort involved and a degree of pain.

That’s not a bad thing.

You learn best through discomfort and pain.

Like on the first day of the job, if you show up 30 minutes late, and your brand new boss chews you out and fires you on the spot, you’re never going to be late again. Because the pain of going through that will stay in your head forever and it makes you grow up. Lesson learned.

Or if a girls blow you out consistently, it’s a fucking tough experience, BUT that pain forces you to look in the mirror really hard and search for what you’re doing wrong or what in your behavior is simply unattractive.

Meaning, you can’t change or transform or improve, if everyone if just nice to you all the time. You change when you have fucking negative experiences that kick you in the ass.

Like touching a hot stove as a child, and burning you finger and screaming in pain, as a positive side effect. You don’t touch hot stoves again.

Or weakly going up to a girl with shitty tonality, neediness, and no eye contact and getting harshly blown out, that’s when you go home and look in the mirror and decide that you’ve got to fucking man-up.

Every shitty experience is when you learn. And the guys who are best with girls have the most shitty experiences under their belt and they welcome new shit to hit the fan. They embrace it.

And if you stop, out of a desire for comfort, being comfortable in front of the television, or Internet, or just doing some other hobby… which let’s face it, is probably for more comfortable feeling than socializing with girls… you can coast along for years doing that.

But eventually choosing comfort over the challenge will come to bite you in the ass, and it will bite you back hard.

Eventually, you’ll find yourself old, out-of-shape, alone, with no good habits or skills built up for meeting girls. And you’ll find yourself facing the same discomforts and challenges you need to meet girls, except now you’re just more disadvantaged and it looks like an even bigger hill to climb. And you’re going to feel fucking pain that’s even more severe than the pain you originally tried to avoid.

So falling off the wagon is not a path I recommend for your own sake.

And really, there’s no reason to be jealous of other guys that were born with good looks, or were born into a wealthy family and had all their money handed to them, or even guys that just seem to get “meeting girls” more quickly make fast advances.

Because these guys that don’t experience the pain and discomfort of that journey of coming into manhood and becoming a real fucking man through experience and sweat and pain, what happens is that they’re almost always soft, lazy guys.

If you have looks and money handed to you from day one, you’re just coasting. You’ve got some access to women or hookers through money, say like Tiger Woods style, and you have to concept of what discomfort or challenge is because you’ve never had to strive or push for what you want.

So you don’t appreciate the money, you don’t appreciate the sex with the hot girl, you feel hollow inside, you feel purposeless, you get easily frustrated when you don’t get what you want, you’re easily thrown off your game if you get instant attention. You’re like a little nervous boy inside who never had to grow up and you can’t really handle what the real world throws at you.

So when you’re not born with looks or money or whatever, and you’ve got to deal with all the shit of growing up yourself and manning up yourself, and learning to grow that cool confidence and sexy attractive habits all by yourself, you actually become a really cool dude that can handle anything thrown at him, UNLIKE these soft-bellied softies that have everything handed to them and they don’t grow up.

Kind of like the stereotypical blonde California girl born with good looks and a rich Dad, and she grows up to be a dumb airhead blonde with a bland personality that guys only want for fast sex and nothing else because she’s been spoiled and hasn’t had to work for anything. And she ends up far less of a actualized, cool human being because she never had to face pain or discomfort and she coasted along on the easy path.

So don’t choose the easy path, go on your own journey full of pain and discomfort.

15 thoughts on “Never Give Up! Why Pain, Discomfort, And Grit Makes You Become The Man Girls Go For”

  1. I get exactly what your talking about it happened to me I’ve been sitting on my ass for almost 3 years now and just a couple weeks ago when I discovered this site I’ve been working out going to the beach talking to girls i still have an issue with closing with women it makes me feel scared to even ask a hot girl for her number I have that problem were i think everyone should be my friend I get what your saying though I gotta push harder and just tell the girl how i really feel and that I want to see her again,
    Any input would be appreciated thanks again Jessie

  2. Ive heard persistence is the key…but you really ,really have to know what your doing. Anything can seem needy at the same time?

  3. 11/10 article, hit the nail right on the head, the only way to to grow stronger is to push through discomfort and expand your horizon, that zone of discomfort will eventually become your new, wider comfort zone.

  4. Great post! I used to look at rich people that have had everything given to them and pity them.

    I feel so empowered when I have to work hard for everything. Whenever the going gets tough, I actually get even more motivated.

    Here is one of my favorite quotes from, “The Prophet.”

    The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
    Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
    And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

    The more pain and discomfort a man goes through, the more he can enjoy the fruits of life.

    Excellent post once again!

  5. Fantastic Post!

    So Motivating !!

    and so TRUE !!

    Thank you

    Funny things is: Western World came to rule the earth and to so called “affluent society” by HARD WORK, but in the moment we came to the easy living, we just forgot about the importance of Hard Work, and we became sloppy lazy pussies.

    It is so true that every system has its own destruction germs hided in them.

  6. This is good stuff Jesse. When I hang out with my older crowd of friends I always feel a little discomfort, so I run off and do my own thing in the bar or club. When it comes to chicks who are a couple years older than you what can you do to solve their puzzle? I’m only 21 and look younger than that. I always run into problems when talking to girls 3+ years older than I am. They tell me how cute I am, but my age always seems to be the factor that hurts me. I never give up, but it’s aggravating

    1. So you look like you’re in your teens. Women feel negative social pressure against having sex with a teen boy, just as older men feel negative social pressure against having sex with a teen girl. You can do a few things to look older – grow a beard, workout, dress with more style.

    2. Thanks for the advice. I looked older in high school because I was a little chubby, but looked so much younger when I lost the weight. But I definitely am due for a style update

  7. Wow! Thanks Jesse.

    This is by far the most fire in the belly motivation I got from reading your post. I got your message loud and clear Jess. Pain and Discomfort is always worth the gain.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *