Qualification is simply the process of actively getting a girl to earn your approval or earn your affection.
You’re getting the girl to react to you, and to supplicate to you basically, and it’s a subtle form of the girl chasing after YOU.
And by getting the girl to qualify to you, you accomplish two very important things.
Number one, you’re getting the girl to actively game you, you’re setting yourself up as the prize, you’re getting the girl to INVEST in you.
And then she’ll backwards rationalize why she’s chasing you thinking to herself, “Oh, I’m telling this guy how great I am, I must want him to like me because I must obviously like him too.”
And number two, you’re giving the girl reasons that you like her for more than just wanting sex. Like if you can get her to qualify to you that she’s a good cook, then she’ll think that you like her for more reasons than just that you want to get laid with her. Which is good.
The problem: Qualifying puts you inside your head
But there’s a problem with getting the girl to qualify herself to you.
And that’s that as a tactic, it tends to put you inside your own head.
You’ve got this thought process inside your head and you think to yourself, “Okay, now I think that I’ve got enough value that I can make her qualify herself to me, so now I’ll start qualifying and hopefully she’ll try win me over.”
But really, that’s like the last headspace you want to be in when you’re out. You don’t want to get overly stuck inside your head calculating your moves.
You don’t want the girl to sense that you’re thinking about what tactic you need to pull out next.
And besides, it’s coming from a frame that the girl is higher value than you, and you’ve got to whip out a tactic to prove that you’re worthy of her.
It’s a way to pump up your value to the girl so that you’re worthy of her, in other words it is a subtle form of supplicating to the girl if you pull out consciously as a tactic on her.
You want to just ASSUME value
Where really, you just want to ASSUME full value, ASSUME that she has to work for you.
And your thought process is more extroverted and feeling sexual intent like, “Yeah, I’m the man. It’s on. This girl smells so nice. It’s on. I’m awesome, I’m the man. It’s on.”
And when you’re in THIS kind of headspace, not calculating your tactics, she FEEL what kind of high value you guy you are through state transference, and you’ll tend to qualify her anyway throughout the interaction because you’re assuming that you’re high value and you’re assuming that this girl has to prove herself worthy to you.
So if you’re talking to a girl, and you’re assuming high value, you can simply drop “game” and simply get to know her as a person, and enjoy the night.
And because the girl can sense that you’re assuming 100% full value, and can sense that you’re a confident guy without making all these conscious moves and having an agenda, her natural instinct will be to share herself with you, and to qualify to you automatically.
One way to go about qualifying a girl, to make her chase you, to make her invest in the conversation, is almost to use planned, canned lines or little mini-routines.
Like you’re talking to the girl and suddenly you throw out to her, “Hey, so what else have you got going for you besides just your looks?” And she’ll start qualifying herself to you, investing in getting your approval, if she likes you.
So old-style game qualification looks something like this, where you tell the girl, “Can you cook? Tell me, are you a good cook? Because I love a woman that cooks.”
And the girl tells you that she can cook, and then as a reward, you say, “Ah that’s awesome, I love you.” And you give her a hug.
But there’s another way to qualify a girl that’s more authentic, more genuine, more real… and in many ways more powerful.
Really, what you want to do ideally, is to just assume value, assume that the girl is massively attracted to you, and allow the girl to communicate you without judging her. And she’ll naturally open up to you about things that SHE really cares about, because in reality she probably doesn’t care about her cooking.
So instead you share a piece of yourself, agenda-free, and she’ll share with you a piece about herself.
Like you tell the girl, “Yeah I’m writing a fiction book, because I love the Harry Potter movies and it’s really inspired me to become a writer because I love creating my own fantasy worlds and characters and the creative aspects of it.”
So you’re just giving of yourself, unfiltered.
And then the girl will tell you something like, “Oh yeah, I love being creative too because I love reading books and right now I’m reading Pillars of the Earth.”
So right there, just be seeking rapport with you, she’s agreeing with you, and qualifying herself to you.
And she’ll share with you something about herself that’s far more meaningful to her than that she likes to cook, cooking most likely being trivial to her.
And as a result, you become far more REAL to the girl, rather than a guy pulling out a tactic to qualify the girl. Instead you become the guy that’s sharing with her himself, that’s to REAL to her, and that discovers and appreciates things about her that she WANTS you to appreciate.
And at the same time, you’re assuming value, you’re assuming attraction.. .so you become like the perfect kind of guy that she wants to meet.
So that’s how you can view qualification, it’s not something that you need to keep inside your head as a tactic.
How To Qualify Women More Naturally
First, make a list of what you’d like to find in a woman besides her looks. Write down a list of everything you’d ideally want a girl to have that you would date.
For example your list could be,
- She likes to hit the gym.
- She doesn’t smoke.
- She is a positive person.
- She likes to read.
- She speaks another language.
- She doesn’t watch television too much.
- She has a fun personality.
So when you know what you’d like to see in a woman, when you’re in conversation with a woman, you can qualify her on any of the characteristics you deem important.
Don’t Try To Make Her “Like You” – Instead, Challenge Her
So if you’re talking with a girl, and she’s being negative and complaining in, like saying to you that life sucks, or men suck, you can tell her, “Hey you’re boring. We’re here in a dance club. Let’s have some fun!”
A regular guy would try to get all understanding and console her and make her feel better. You know, pretend he cares to get her approval and make her like him.
But instead of just listening to her blab on, you qualify her. By challenging her, you’re showing her that you have standards, that you don’t put up with any crap, and that you’ll will qualify her mercilessly.
Or if she tells you that she needs a cigarette, you can tell her, “What you smoke?! That’s gross!” Instead of just accepting it, you hold her to your high standards, and then she’ll start qualifying herself to you.
Just because a girl has bad habits or doesn’t meet all your standards doesn’t mean you won’t jump into bed with her. BUT you are ALWAYS conveying your standards to the girl.
Also, Reward Her
Conversely, if the girl has traits that you DO like that are revealed, you want to let her know.
Like if she starts talking about watching Star Trek, and you think that’s really cool of her, you respond with, “Hey that’s cool!” because it’s something that you really do value in the girl and you want to let her know that she’s exceeding your standards.
Naturally Weave Qualifying In
So instead of using some canned, generic qualification lines, it’s really better weave qualification throughout the interaction by either calling girls on their bullshit and bad habits, OR by letting them know when you’re particularly impressed by them.
That requires not being so needy for the girl’s approval that you just agree with everything she does and says to “make her like you”, but instead lead, contradict the girl, and make your genuine feelings known to her. She’ll respect you far more for leading her and taking charge and demanding the best from her, rather than just the subtle form of kissing ass where she agrees with everything you say!
Qualifying Women Physically
A more intense way of qualifying as well includes getting physical, which is what push-pull is.
Like you can push her away when she does something you don’t like, and then pull her back into you to give her a second chance.
Like she tells you she’s going to get a smoke, so you push her away, and tell her “Ewww!” and tease her about it, and then pull her in and tell that you’re going to give her a second chance. But basically you’re telling her that you don’t put up with crap and bad behavior and you’ve got high standards, and that will make her jump to meet them if she likes you.
Again, you don’t need to be forced, just write up a list of what you’re looking for, and what behavior is unacceptable, and call girls out on it, make them live up to your standards.
And don’t agree with everything they do just to make them like you. Hold them up to your standards, and that’s how you generate hard attraction.