When you look at the typical guy out there who wants to become a pickup artist, he’s constantly striving for perfection.
He’s constantly striving for 100% game.
He’s always striving to be 100% all the time and being in the great state.
He’s always striving to 100% of the time knowing exactly what to say, to have a cool story, to lead the conversation.
The vast majority of us are still searching after some elusive “huzzah” moment where perfection is achieved.
Self-Improvement Is A Losing Game
Look, I’ve been there and this chase for self development is a world of diminishing returns.
Whether you’re looking for outer gain perfection of tactics or inner game perfection with state, the quest for perfection becomes a self-defeating, happiness canceling, miserable thought process.
The guys I know who are really good with women are riddled with problems.
One of my buddies, he dates three women, but he lives at home and is unemployed.
Another one of my buddies is dating this beautiful woman and yet he drinks too much alcohol and is a bit of a pothead.
I’ve got a friend who is funny but he’s always nervous, he’s skinny as fuck, but he knows a ton of girls who are willing to sleep with him.
Should we strive for these qualities to be a pothead or be skinny or be at home or be unemployed? No, these are generally not positive traits to have. But what all three of my friends have, and all three of them get girls, is that instead of chasing for some kind of perfection, what the three of them have is a high level of self acceptance of themselves.
Self-Acceptance Comes BEFORE Self-Improvement
We can’t forget that the core of self improvement is first self-acceptance. That’s what self-improvement is all about in the end.
Maybe you’re skinny as a toothpick or maybe you could get some better clothes, or maybe you could learn some new tactics or maybe you’re overweight… but to get women you have to have self-acceptance wherever you are in your life right now. And no matter what your faults are, if you accept them, you can still pull top-quality girls regardless.
You can be entirely un-present and out-of-state… and still pull girls.
You can be negative as hell… and you can still pull girls.
You can lead a boring life and have a boring lifestyle and you can still go out and still pull girls.
You can have no old spiritual path or game plan… and you can still pull girls.
You can even not to be that cool in general… and you can still pull girls.
Girls Want A Self-Accepting Guy
Girls want a guy who accepts himself despite his faults.
Girls want a guy that accepts all of his own faults – all of them – every single one. That he’s too skinny or too fat or if he’s bald or he’s an inexperienced conversationalist or whatever.
Women want a man who will still act in the moment despite his flaws. THAT is what makes a man sexy.
And if you don’t trust yourself, if you have self doubt, if you are anxious, if you don’t think that you’re worthy, if you don’t think that you can pull this off, well that matters far more than any other fault that you think that you might have.
Because when you see this game as chasing after perfection or constant self-improvement, hyperaware of your own imperfections, it’s exactly that kind of chasing after a new you that is going to fuck you up, constantly shadowing yourself in self-doubt, anxiety, and a sense of lack of entitlement.
What’s REALLY Holding You Back?
Is it really your flaws in the game that is causing the problem?
Or is that you feel that you must have all of your flaws fixed first to become your perfect self that’s causing a lack of any confidences that is the real problem?
What I’m saying is to have self acceptance of where you are right now. Drop this idea of chasing perfection which manifests itself in sitting in front of the computer all day trying to collect as much information that you possibly can. That manifests itself in constant preparation to fix yourself.
Because my method allows you to still pull the hottest girls just the way you are, fat or skinny, if you’re bad conversationalist or whatever.
Chasing Perfection Isn’t Healthy
I’m telling you this because I’ve chased perfection before and it’s not healthy. It’s when self-development becomes the disease.
Look, life isn’t perfect and you can’t be perfect. You can only be the man that you are.
Which is enough to pull girls (and I’ll show you how to do it).
Just because we aren’t perfect right now, that doesn’t stop us from going up to the super hottie in the club and taking her home at the end of the night.
Just because you’re not in the ideal state or just because you don’t have a lot of money or just because you’re not smiling enough or just because you’re not doing this or that advanced tactic doesn’t mean that you’re not going to get the girl.
Just because you’re living with your parents or that we’re jealous people or that we feel insecure, or sometimes we feel externally validated… that does not mean that you won’t pull the girl out.
Self-development is a great thing and we should always strive to grow and develop.
But self-development only serves us well when it is first built on a foundation of self acceptance and a lack of striving for some super self-perfection before you’re allowed to take action.
Example Of How Chasing Perfection Destroys Your Soul
So here’s an example of the mindset that a guy goes through when he’s chasing perfection and always chasing the next level.
When you’re always trying to become flawless or close to flawless by preparation and preparation and information collecting… so that you can even do more jokes or you can get even greater connection with the girl… or you can even do more tricks… and then you go to a club and the girl does not respond the way you want her to, you start to think yourself, “I failed today because I need even more confidence.”
You think yourself, “I failed today because I was stressed out and I can’t be stressed to get the girl.”
You think yourself, “I failed because they need more emotional balance.”
Or you think yourself, “I need to work out and get a bigger muscles.”
All of this crap keeps you in a constant fixing mode and it becomes exhaustive because you’re tying your mind into Gordian knots about everything that you need, about everything that you think you need, to improve about yourself.
And then you don’t want to do anymore approaches until you fix yourself completely.
Again, what is it that is fucking you up? Is it your lack of lifestyle, or the fact that you think need a cool lifestyle to pull girls?
Is it your lack of cool stories… or the fact you think you need cool stories to pull girls so you don’t act?
Is it being too skinny? Or are you failing because the fact that you think you need to be a bulky and muscular to pull girls or we don’t take action?
It’s having total self-acceptance, trust, and dropping the stress and dropping the constant thinking and striving that’s caused by chasing after becoming a better you, chasing after perfection.
The goal is to first like yourself, and embrace it all and accept all the crap about you… even the supposedly negative stuff.
That will allow you to transcend.
And through this process of accepting the crap about your negative points about you, they merely fall underneath you as you’re not holding them up on your shoulders anymore. It’s not weighing you down and is not preventing you from taking action.
When you let that crap fall down to your feet, it hasn’t gone away but you’ve embraced it.
You said “I love you” to all of your crap so that it cannot emotionally affect you and prevent you from taking action. So you’re supposedly negative traits are not crap anymore, it’s just who you are. And that’s okay.
Okay, so you’re skinny or you’ve got funky skin, or you’re not a great conversationalist, you don’t like memorizing one million tactics. It’s just who you are and you can still pull girls without fixing all that or becoming anywhere near perfect.
What I’m saying is, the habit of trying to collect as much information in preparation to become a perfect pickup guy is something that you have to drop. It’s a mindset and frame that you have to drop. Chasing perfection to try to fix all of your so-called flaws is something that you have to drop.
Instead, accept all of your faults and drop this thinking based mindset of trying to fix everything.
Because pulling girls successfully with the my method has nothing to do with your faults.
You can drop all the burden and you can breathe a sigh of relief, and relax, and drop all the shit of endless self-development and still get laid. After all this is about getting laid… not about becoming Mr. perfect self-development man.
You already have everything you need to succeed with girls
You have everything you already need to attract women. Everything you need to be good with women already lies within you.
The natural confident guy is already INSIDE you. The natural is right there, just below the surface.
There isn’t anything wrong with you and you don’t need to be fixed.
Deep down in your core you already know how to act, what to say, and when to escalate.
That’s the secret of getting women – that there is no secret. There isn’t any secret about it. You don’t need to spend years to uncover some great mystery. You don’t need to spend years improving yourself or getting rich or getting perfect looking.
Eliminating The Social Muck
That natural with girls inside you has just been covered up by years of social conditioning.
You’re already good with girls.
You just have this MUCK, this mud accumulated on you saying that you need money or looks or be a maestro conversationalist. This social conditioning slime, that say’s the girl is way up here just because she has tits and you’re way down here.
Don’t believe that!
It’s not about instilling game into you. It’s about removing that which stifles your natural game underneath and exposing more of your true self to the world.
It’s not so much that you need tactics and routines to memorize or that you have more to go, but that you have more to let go.
Because game is nothing but the destruction of all these fetters and conditionings.
Game is anti-equipment in that it helps you clean out the attic that is you and drop off all the stuff you don’t need – your worries, fears, opinions, preconceptions, attachments put onto you by society – and dump that all into the recycling bin.
Because you’re already enough. You already have all the necessary faculties in order to pull the hottest of girls. You just have to remove all the crap that pollutes your mind, stifles you, and makes you pretend to be a chump.
Where Is Society’s Place For You?
Society has a place for everyone – the guys who fuck girls, and the guys who are left with the scraps!
And society will hold everyone in that place, the alphas and the betas.
But letting society define ourselves is bullshit and it is what makes us weak. We don’t have to buy into society’s idea of what is cool.
My program is about realigning with your true self, your natural self, not the self that society has told you to be. My program is about breaking away from the hypnosis of the culture.
That you can vomit all that the society has enforced upon you. You can drop all your beliefs and all your conditionings.
You can be free.
11 thoughts on “How *Self-Accepting* Guys Get More Girls Than Self-Improving Guys… And Why Chasing ‘Perfect Game’ Is A Disease”
Thxs I jus went through this I thought I had to fix myself and be a great conversationalist.
Brilliant, and very zen.
A very awesome post. It speaks alot about my issues.
The “be yourself” quote explained. Such a cliche and it is all truth. This kinda makes me curious how your programme will let you be yourself around girls. It is harder than it sounds though
Yeah HArm, it can be pretty tough advice… it takes time to learn to let go and trust in your own abiliities
Hmm…after this, why not just delete all information on this site except this post?
haha, that’s the paradox.
Actually, you DO need to study… at HOME. But when you go out, you have to TRUST in yourself and let it all go. SELF-ACCEPT yourself.
So there’s an element of both. Problem is, most guys “self-improve” constantly but never come to self-accept. They never have the confidence, always thinking that they’re lacking.
Got an opinion? Leave your thoughts below !