In this video I talk about what separates the outlier males, those 1% or 2% of the guys that seem to get success with women.
P.S. Leave me a comment below once you watch it… and leave me some feedback !! 🙂
Successful guys can go to a nightclub and get three make outs, or they can go into a bookstore and get three phone numbers, or they’ve got their own little harem of three pretty girls that they got going, or maybe they just have a selection of women that they can pick and choose from to be, “I want this one to be my girlfriend”, or they have a selection to wife up a girl.
Whereas most guys, you know the other 98% of guys, they’re living in scarcity.
They don’t have selection.
Maybe they settle for the comfort fatty that they don’t really want.
Or they have crippling approach anxiety. Or maybe they try going out for two or three weeks, they face some initial resistance, and to give up. Or maybe they go out for a few months and they’re just not seeing very much progress and they give up.
So what’s separating these two groups, the outlier males from all the other guys?
If we could narrow it down to one distinction, one difference, what would that distinction or what would that difference really be?
The distinction is that the habits that you keep on a daily basis and the execution of those habits.
Are you executing those habits consistently or are you really sloppy about the execution of those habits?
Let’s take an analogy. Let’s say you want to put on 20 pounds of lean muscle tissue and you want to lose fat.
Now, to put on 20 pounds of lean muscle tissue – that’s a lofty goal. That’s hard. That takes months and months, if not years of consistent execution of correct habits.
And correct habits would be like cutting out refined sugars from your diet. Getting rid of fast food and pizza and hamburgers and unnecessary fats. Replacing junk food with salads, lean meats, and drinking a protein powder after your workout. Going to the gym five days a week. Having proper form when you execute the exercises.
There’s a lot of little habits that you need to be doing every single day in order to put on 20 pounds of muscle. It’s not easy. But most guys only put on two or three pounds of muscle because their execution is sloppy. Their execution is just too sloppy, or they don’t even know what the proper habits are to reach 20 pounds of muscle.
So maybe they go to the gym for two or three days in an inspirational burst, and then they’ll fall off the path for two or three days. They won’t go the gym for a few days. Thus, they lose their momentum, they lose their inspiration.
And they go back to the gym for a day, but then they fall off the path again.
They’re not executing the proper habits necessary to actually get to 20 pounds of muscle.
Maybe they’ll get two or three pounds of muscle, which is pretty easy to do. You just tweak your habits here and there, cut out a little bit of sugar. maybe go the gym once or twice a week.
But that’s not going to make you achieve a lofty high goal.
So if you’re goal with women is also lofty and high, like you want to have a pretty wife eventually, or you want to have a little harem, or you want to be able to go to the club and kiss different girls – all pretty lofty goals that 99% guys could only dream about – you can’t have sloppy execution of habits. You’ve got a walk that narrow path of doing the correct habits consistently, day after the day, for months, if not years, to get to that point of success.
For instance, it means going out five nights a week, it means working on vocal exercises for projection or for being talkative, it means going to the gym so you have that narcissistic sense of entitlement and you feel good about your body.
So most guys are not going to execute the right habits and they’re not going to execute them consistently. They’re not going to walk that narrow path that it takes to achieve a lofty goal, a goal like having a harem, or having a pretty girlfriend, or just getting a lot of attention from girls.
So that’s the distinction, that’s the difference between outlier males and everybody else. Outlier males have the right habits, they stick to the habits, and they have a philosophy that they want to achieve peak performance with no excuses.
Meaning, even if successful executors feel that negative haze and don’t feel like doing the task at hand, they don’t make excuses. The still go out, they still go the gym, they still do what they have to do, despite that initial reaction of bad emotion. And they push through that shit and make it happen. And they execute day after day consistently.
And yes, sometimes they fall off the path. Maybe they don’t do what they’re supposed to do for day. But they get back on quickly. They’re not off the path too long. The walk that narrow road it takes to achieve the lofty goal they have.
So if you enjoyed this video or you have a comment on it, leave your comment below, or go to the forum I run, it’s called The Lounge, and post on the Lounge and I will get back to you there.
Until next time. 🙂
31 thoughts on “Why Are Some Guys Successful With Girls, And Everyone Else Failures? Your Habits”
Very good these tips Jesse, many men, and I’ve been making some of the mistakes that have been mentioned above, I have tried to improve and have seen improvements, I always come to your blog, I always like to read your ideas. Really help a lot. Keep up the good work.
How long do you have to do the habits so you can do it without thinking.
Suite up and show up 🙂
Good video..so true..
I have done a lot of read on your articles. They seem to be right on point, and have a lot I could learn. However there is not anything about getting the one you know wants you to stop fighting the past and just fix shit. Any pointers would be great
I understand what your saying, but first through learning what habits are actually beneficial and learning these rules is what separates me from you for instance, so determination and execution maybe a part of it, but most of it is knowledge that you need to learn by reading books and through education; therefore, an uneducated individual is not going to understand what a good habit really is unless that individual first educates himself before thinking about the correct habit.
i hate you jesse your teasing me to become great! however i am not sure if i want all those lofty goals if i must be a slave to my habits every day of my life… 🙂
Hey Jesse, It takes guts to go on camera and talk about BS. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to offend you. What you’re advising is important, people should have high standards, take care of themselves, their body, mind and spirit, but you’re not telling us how we can form those habits. What is it that makes some guys and in extension, some people more determined, focused and driven then others? That’s what I would like to know. Peace brother!!
Great Video Jesse. Love your website and your videos, keep it up !!
Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to far added agreeable from you!
However, how can we communicate?
Great and real stuff… Thoroughly researched! Keep it up!
These principles apply generally to life too! Awesome!
hey,nice tips u gat.it is not easy going to club at such range bt it is okay
Good video Jesse although I can’t help but feel that dedication alone will not be enough to get to the club for 5 – 7 days a week; you would have to find a way to make it fun and enjoy the process. The guys I know that are really good with women don’t go out that much, they just enjoying interacting with women and make it a part of their lifestyle.
Personally, I reckon if I forced myself to go out that much, I’d end up depressed and it’d have the opposite effect.
Joey, it depends on how you’re going out. Going out can devestate you if you’re drawing your state from how girls are reacting to you. One girl reacts well, you feel awesome. The next girl gives a little resistance, you eject right away and you feel crushed. That’s an emotional roller coaster ride, and it’s exhausting.
Also, going in with an agenda to get sex, and pretending you’re someone you’re not with a bunch of routines can be very exhausting.
If you go out the RIGHT way however – by drawing your state from within, and being more social with no “get sex” agenda, you can actually RECHARGE your batteries as more women give you good responses.
So yes, it’s a tricky thing and I can’t go into it all here. It’s a good question for the forums though.
Hi Jesse, thanks for the video! I’d just turn the music a notch down. And keep the transcription too, that’s a great plus for those of us who don’t speak english as a first language and need some help to understand some parts 😉
Now, talking about the topic itself: I understand this concept at a intellectual level, but here’s something that has always been a problem: how do you build the self-discipline itself to stick to your habits?
I’ve had a lot of “knee-jerk reaction” starts at good habits, and after a few days the drive goes away. If I think about the goal I still feel motivated and I KNOW that I want to achieve it but, somehow, I can’t get my ass to take the needed actions.
I’ve tried to put some social pressure on myself, such as telling a friend that I’m going to do X, or even putting money on the line to create a consequence if I fail to take action, but I easily fall into this thinking of “I don’t really care about it anyway”, “I don’t care about that money I’m gonna lose anyway”, you know, bullshit excuses.
I’d appreciate any thoughts on that. Thanks!
Thanks for the suggestions V.
You’re asking big questions… how to stick with habits over the long haul.
KEYSTONE HABITS are very important. For instance, if you go to the gym every day, other smaller habits will fall into place by themselves. Like eating better, dressing better, etc.
Going out is a keystone habit. It will make you want to dress better, get a haircut, hit the gym, etc. So it’s important to have keystone habits in place.
We can go into more detail… that’s more of a discussion for the forums though.
hey I have nice long hair, I don’t have to get a haircut, ha ha
I am really enjoying these tips…they seem not only help with girls…but with life…please keep sending them.
Thanks OWen 😆
Very good point Jesse.
Establishing new habits is pretty much the game in a nutshell. Without that, we live the exact same lifestyle with the same old expectations. To want an outcome without changing basic habits is to live in fantasy; great to keep in mind.
welcome back great video 8)
creating new habits and following them takes a lot of effort no doubt-
but that’s the only way to create change.
Hey Iceman, great to hear from you again. Glad you’re stopping by from time to time
Lol stroking the old ego.
No doubt,I am an outlier type.Wasn’t always so though,but I pushed myself via Game to become this way.
How about you,when did the transformation happen(if it ever did)?
Around 2001. Full story here http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/bio-jesse-charger/ 8)
Irony about the outlier type and clubbing is that they do what they do without hesitation.Maybe they do the do hesitate to be the man in the club and do their thing with women,but the do it with such regularity that it’s hard for the average guy to see through.
Kenny, you strike me as an ‘outlier male’ too, your blog is pretty sweet, shows that you’re a real-take action sort of guy.
Let me know what you think, leave a comment below ! 8) Thanks 😛