Ask yourself this – in your quest for glory, have you priced yourself out of the monogamous relationship market?
Put simply, as you become an increasingly high-value man, you will find most women to be less and less relationship-worthy, until you become frustrated at the low quality of 99% of the women out there.
Not only won’t you find girlfriend-worthy women, but you won’t be able to stay monogamous over the longhaul.
Take my own situation:
- I earn a very nice passive income. I don’t need to report to any boss. I don’t need to go to work.
- I’ve travelled all through South America, Europe, and Japan. I can hop on a plane and visit any exotic beach or country I desire, at any time, and run my businesses from a laptop computer.
- I’m 6 feet tall, hit the gym hard, and stay in excellent physical shape. When I dress well, women turn their heads.
- I know enough attraction “tactics” and have solid inner game so that I can walk into any bar or club, approach 20 women, and usually have a new potential girlfriend by the end of the night.
- I’m not a “nice guy” pushover, but can turn on that bad boy edge that excites women. I speak loudly, with breaking rapport tonality, and I’m not afraid to talk and get physical. Meeting new women is both fun and easy.
- I’ve bedded enough women to experience all shapes, sizes, and types – Asian, blondes, brunettes, thick ones, thin ones, curvy ones, leggy ones, etc.
- I weed out bad habits. I don’t drink, smoke, take any drugs, watch much television, or lose my temper and so on.
- I’ve worked on becoming a generally fun, easy going guy to be around.
These are high-value traits that women generally look for in a man and a sexual partner.
None of it happened by itself. I’ve focused *heavily* on self-improvement.
So that one day I could meet that “awesome soul mate”, a girl that had both a knock-out body AND had her head screwed on straight.
The High-Value Man’s Dilemma And Paradox
As I achieved more and more in life, I faced an unexpected paradox and dilemma.
Through the massive drive to build-up my value as an “awesome boyfriend”, I increasingly priced myself OUT of the monogamous relationship market.
A traditional, monogamous relationship with one girl became less and LESS desirable to me.
“Pricing Yourself Out Of The Market” – The World War I Example
Take this simple analogy.
From 1914 to 1918, millions of young men join the Army to fight in the European battlefields of World War I.
These young men had visions of honor, glory, and fame. Most had never left their hometown and it was a chance to travel. It was a chance to have adventure. Maybe they could escape 10 hour work days at the local factory. Maybe they could find a wife.
The reality was, they ended up in waterlogged ditches and ate terrible food. Disease was rampant. On orders, entire lines of men ran directly into machine gun fire. Like lemmings, thousands of men charged directly into the oncoming bullets to their immediate death.
Could that same thing happen today?
Today, most Europeans and Americans have priced themselves out of the ditch-warfare market.
With big entertainment (movies, games, TV), a myriad of cheap food options (fast food, restaurants, sweets), convenient travel, comfy office work, paid vacations, and an Internet-educated public, most young men will simply NOT sit in a damp ditch for months on end. Most young men will simply NOT volunteer their lives to run directly into machine-gun fire armed with bayonets to their deaths.
Most young men in this modern age have TOO MUCH TO LOSE.
They know what war is REALLY like from movies, television, and the Internet.
They won’t throw away their lives so carelessly like that.
Nowadays, armies need to pay young men to fight, and pay them well. And even then, most young men have no intention to join up for “glory”.
They’re priced out of the market for World War I ditch warfare. (That is a GOOD thing.)
It’s the same with monogamous relationships.
As you become an increasingly successful man with more options, more knowledge, and more experiences, you have more to LOSE by attaching yourself to a woman in a monogamous relationship.
#1. Most Women’s Outer Beauty Is Largely An Illusion
In the hometown I grew up in, even a slightly attractive young woman drove me crazy.
But once you travel all over the world and have met hundreds of women, you get spoiled. The girls that used to turn your head back home now just look “Meh”.
And once you’ve been in a few relationships with attractive women, you come to realize that “makeup and fakeup” accounts for most of their outer beauty.
Take off her high heel shoes, and the illusion is shattered. She’s short.
Remove her makeup, and the illusion is shattered. She has blemishes.
Take off her sexy dress, and the illusion is shattered. She eats poorly and has no muscle tone.
And if you’re a fitness fanatic like me, you realize that most attractive women actually have poor diets, don’t exercise, and are rife with bad habits.
2. Most Women Are Financially Needy
Most women are lost and don’t know what they want to do with their lives.
When you start dating a woman, you realize that she could use financial help or she’s unhappy with her work.
Sooner or later, you’ll feel like you need to help her out or help fix her problems.
So you feel guilty letting her suffer without help, and you feel even worse when you help and start to feel trapped into supporting her (money-wise or time-wise).
In other words, for successful guys, the vast majority of women look like financial or emotional vampires. They suck value from you, without offering much in return.
3. Most Women Are An Emotional Mess
Shit storms. Dumb drama. Emotional roller coasters. Overreacting.
“People major in the minor things of life,” as Tony Robbins puts it.
As you gain emotional mastery in your life (not repressing your emotions, but rather living in and expressing the better ones), you find you have less and less tolerance for the dark side of women’s emotionality.
You feel like you’re babysitting them through their bullshit and it’s a waste of your time and energy when you could be on an exotic beach somewhere meeting hotties.
4. Most Women Are Time Vampires
Girlfriends will waste your time like no other.
Without a relationship, you can travel all over and do what you want.
Now, your girlfriend wants you to do stuff you have no interest in like going out to dinners or going shoe shopping with her at the mall. In other instances, she outright wastes or disrespects your time.
If you’ve been in a relationship you’ve experienced this plenty.
5. Women Lose Value With The Passage Of Father Time
Women LOSE social and sexual value as she gets older.
Once she feels she “has you”, women almost universally begin packing on the weight. She lets herself go and she eats and eats.
That slim waistline and fine curves vanish.
With the years, fine lines, rough skin, and graying hair makes her look less desirable.
At the same time, you, as the man, GAIN value with time.
Graying hair makes you look distinguished.
Your passive income rises.
And suddenly younger girls look increasingly attractive, AND they’re increasingly attracted to you.
So with time, your sexual-market value increasingly diverges from the woman’s. Your sexual-market value rises gradually while hers declines.
And you become increasingly unhappy.
6. Women Don’t Want You To Be Your Best Self
Women will always try to put the brakes on your success.
It is NOT in the woman’s self-interest for you to achieve your “full potential”.
A woman does NOT want a guy with tons of money, who can travel anywhere, and can attract and bed girls left and right.
Yes, a woman DOES want a “successful guy”, but only so far as that his success is invested in HER and HER progeny.
A woman wants a guy to bring income, but not to the point where he earns so much that other women would become attracted.
A woman wants a man to have freedom, but NOT to the point where he can jetset to an exotic beach every weekend with bikini girls on it.
A woman wants her man to be attractive, but NOT to the point where other women are throwing themselves at his feet.
A woman wants a man to be confident, but NOT to the point he can walk up to any hot girl and begin chatting her up.
Women DO want a man that will take care of the kids. But they DON’T want the “ultimate man” who is reaching for the sky. They want a man that is “enough”. And the problem for really action and success-driven guys is that they always find the woman trying to hold them back and put the brakes on their full potential.
The Result – Monogamy Looks Increasingly Like A Bad Deal
Again, with increasing life success and life experience, you come to realize that women are great for sex and fun… but that NO woman is worthy to be a “life partner”.
Monogamy starts to look increasingly LESS attractive.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t desire meeting that “soul mate” or “special girl”. You do.
But your eyes are open. And you can’t find a girl that you’d feel comfortable or happy devoting yourself to.
After all, if you can meet new girls every week, travel anywhere in the world to exotic places, work a 20 hour workweek from a laptop… why would you want to deal with all the downsides and restrictions that comes with monogamy with ONE girl?
You feel the you’d have to give up too much.
So with success and experience, you increasingly price yourself out of the monogamous relationship market. And at some point you reach a TIPPING POINT – 99% of women are simply NOT worthy of being your exclusive girlfriend.
They simply don’t add enough value to your life to justify committing to them.
Why So Many Celebrity Couples Break Up
Just take a look at celebrity couples.
Celebrity couples are almost always BOUND TO FAIL.
Take Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.
Ashton is recognized. Walking into a bar, he’ll instantly have the attention of the hottest girls there. He’s got money, he’s got social proof, and he’s got that pretty face. He can go to any country in the world and party with models in Brazil, Italy or Miami.
The reality is, no woman can compete on his level. 99.9% of women will HOLD HIM BACK. As girlfriends, they’ll become needy, emotional, time-sucking vampires.
And as Ashton ages, he only become more sexually desirable – more successful and more distinguished.
No woman, not even Demi Moore, could really tie the guy down indefinitely. Pushing 50, Demi Moore is aging and losing her looks. Ashton is not. He’s only rising.
That’s why he’s been philandering with 20 year old hotties, and Demi and Ashton have broken up.
Celebrity couples break up. Why? The guy is simply TOO POWERFUL… he has priced himself OUT of the monogamous relationship market! And after a few years with his Hollywood actress, he doesn’t want to be held back any longer. He wants out.
SO, Who DOES Benefit From Monogamy?
For most men, being monogamous with one woman IS a very GOOD thing.
And for most men, the pool of “desirable women to marry” is huge.
Let’s take hypothetical Average Joe.
Joe is overweight. Joe is short and stubby. Joe has a lot of curly, black body hair. Joe is not exactly pretty as a picture.
Joe doesn’t exercise and Joe has bad habits like drinking, losing his temper, and emotional eating.
Joe works in an unexciting, unchallenging low-end office desk job.
Joe gets tongue-tied and nervous around attractive women. He’s too nervous to approach them. More than that, Joe’s not curious about learning how to do it either.
Joe has problems following through on projects, and lacks the drive to really excel. Joe’s happy watching television and eating high-calorie foods after work.
There’s nothing terribly wrong with our Joe. He’s cool to hang out with. But on the dating market, Joe’s just… average.
And being so average, the vast majority of women would certainly be a great catch for Joe.
Even a homely-looking, emotionally unstable woman willing to take Joe as a husband would give Joe,
- Companionship to fill in the otherwise passive-entertainment emptiness of his free time.
- A guiding voice to steer him clear of his bad habits and be a moderating influence.
- A woman to protect and provide value for (providing value or “giving back” brings purpose happiness).
So for Joe, a man with few sexual options, any woman, even if she’s homely looking and has her own slew of problems, even if she’s a time vampire and emotionally unstable… is a very GOOD CATCH.
THAT is the kind of guy who should snag a girlfriend and stick with it.
And even if you’ve got a lot more going for you than our Joe (you make a good income, you exercise, you don’t drink like a fish, etc), the balance will probably tip toward having a girlfriend is a GOOD THING. The benefits of having a relationship will outweigh the negatives of it.
The Outlier’s Pyramid
The problem is really an outlier’s dilemma.
Outliers are those guys who have *extraordinary* options and choices on the dating market.
Take a look at the Outlier’s Pyramid below.
On the bottom rung of the pyramid are people with few to no relationship options. The very old, the mentally ill, people with extreme social phobias, hard core drug addicts, people with no sex drive, extreme eccentrics, the woman with 25 cats, and so on.
In the second rung rest the vast majority of men and women. They largely follow the cultural trance and mediocrity is the general norm. For example, a single divorced woman who is 40 years old, somewhat chubby, earns $10 an hour, and doesn’t apply herself. She has limited attractiveness, but the dating pool of equals is large.
On the third rung (about 1 in 25 to 1 in 50 women) we find the “hot girls” or the “8s, 9s and 10s”. These are the kinds of women that can put on high heels and turn heads.
All the men on the second rung desire to get with women on the third rung, but they have little chance. Instead, they usually end up marrying a homely-looking women from their own rung, the second.
On the fourth and top rung are the male outliers – men who are real go-getters, have weeded out bad habits, exercise, look good, are well traveled, bank income, and have tight game. This is the most rare group of people.
The surprise is, pretty girls far outnumber the male outliers.
For every 1 male outlier, there are 100 “hot girls” from the third rung that would like to fuck him, catch him, and keep him.
And that’s where his “quality problem” regarding monogamous relationships comes in – there are too many sweets in the candy store to tempt him away.
The Male Outlier’s Dilemma
A male outlier DOES want to meet that “one special girl”.
And yet in every budding relationship you start to feel TRAPPED.
You feel the girl is holding you BACK.
You feel the girl is more trouble than she’s worth.
You feel you’re babysitting her emotions.
You feel you’re missing out on everything else you COULD be having and experiencing.
Men who are outliers feel torn.
They have this fantasy of meeting a WORTHY girlfriend with the body and the brains that doesn’t cause the drama and bullshit or get fat down the road.
And yet they enjoy the adventure and excitement of traveling, of building a business, and of meeting eager, new women.
It’s Lonely At The Top
Here’s the thing. It’s LONELY at the top.
The more you achieve, the more you’ll pull away from the masses.
And the closer you reach the moon, the smaller and the girls look.
By expanding your life’s options to ridiculous levels, you largely price yourself OUT of the monogamous relationship market.
So… What Does It All Mean?
It means that, (if you’re ready to swallow this), you’re better off NOT committing to any one single girl.
You’re better off ditching monogamy.
It means wearing, what I call, “The Black Hat”.
Where instead of seeking to be “the provider”, you accept being the “bad boy” that girls want to hook up with and you accept the abundance of opportunities in your life for what it is.
That’s actually a hard reality for most outliers to swallow, as they weren’t born outliers.
They only grew into it with life experience and taking massive action. And as cultural conditioning teaches us that we need to find “the one” and “settle down”, it can be tough to make that transition into accepting a life of true sexual abundance.
In actuality, this website will be of help to three groups of men.
- Group #1. Guys who are at that Outlier Level and want to learn to have fun and be fulfilled without getting obsessed about “finding the ONE girl to complete me”.
- Group #2. Outlier males that DO have a girlfriend or wife and want to minimize the drama and bullshit and keep their woman sexually desirable for years to come.
- Group #3. For guys on that second rung of the pyramid who want to break out and take it to the next level.
This site is for all men who wish to reach the top, but also for men already at the top – and how to meet women and navigate relationships to work for YOU. Even if you’ve essentially priced yourself out of the monogamy market.
Jesse out 🙂
P.S. If you’ve got an opinion on this (and you almost certainly do), be sure to leave a comment below. I’d like to hear it.