So the question is, is it more important to meet a woman’s needs in a relationship, or should women serve to meet your needs?
Most people would say “both are equally important. For a relationship to last, the man and woman have to fulfill each other’s needs equally.”
But the reality is, the answer depends on what kind of relationship you have with women.
Willard F. Harley published the book, “His Needs, Her Needs” which is now a classic of how to maintain a good marriage. It’s basic thesis is that a husband must meet the wife’s 5 core needs and the wife must meet husband’s 5 core needs.
First, we’ll take a look at what the top 5 needs are for both men and women, and then we’ll see why, in some cases, you should be meeting your own needs and not the woman’s.
Men’s 5 Most Important Needs In Relationships
#1. Sexual Fulfillment
So the most important need of a man according to the book “His Needs, Her Needs” is Sexual fulfillment.
The woman meets the man’s need by becoming a terrific sexual partner for him.
So that means teaching the woman to give you deep throat blow jobs, training her to be bisexual with other women, teaching the woman to dress up in fantasy lingerie for you, teaching her to indulge in your sexual fantasies, and also staying in attractive physical shape. Her being a terrific sexual partner.
#2. Recreation Companionship
The second most important need of the man from a woman is Recreational companionship.
The woman develops an interest in the recreational activities that YOU enjoy most and she tries to become proficient at what you like. She becomes a favorite recreational companion, and you associate the woman with your most enjoyable moments.
That means having companionship in what you enjoy doing, whether it’s going to the beach, or going to the gym, or watching movies, or playing games, or having her go to clubs with you and meet more girls, or whatever it is you enjoy doing most.
#3. Physical Attractiveness
The third most important need of men from a woman is Physical attractiveness.
The woman keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that you find hot and attractive so that you’re turned on by her in private and proud of her in public.
That means having the girl workout, do her hair, do her nails, wear sexy dresses, heels, and remaining visually pleasing so that you remain hot for her and want to continue nailing her.
#4. Domestic Support
The fourth most important need of men is Domestic support.
The woman creates a home that offers you a refuge from the stresses of life. She manages the household responsibilities in a way that encourages you to spend time at home enjoying your family.
#5. Her Admiration
And finally the fifth most important need of men from a woman is Admiration.
She understands and appreciates you more than anyone else. She reminds you of your value and achievements and helps you maintain self-confidence. She avoids criticizing you. She is proud of you out of a profound respect for the man she chose to be with.
Those are the 5 needs of the man from a woman.
Women’s 5 Most Important Needs In Relationships
There are also 5 needs that a wife wants her husband to fulfill. And here are those 5 needs, in order of most importance.
The most important need a wife needs her husband to fulfill is,
Her husband tells her that he loves her with words, with cards, with flowers, with gifts, and common courtesies and he hugs and kisses her throughout the day, creating an environment of affection that expresses his love for her.
The husband sets aside time every day to talk to his wife. They may talk about events in their lives, about their children, about their feelings, or about their plans. But whatever the topic, she talks to him as much as she likes, and he responds with interest. He’s never too busy to just talk.
#3. Honesty and openness
Her husband tells her everything about himself, he leaves nothing out that might later surprise her. He describes his positive and negative feelings, events of his past, his daily schedule, and his plans for the future. He never leaves her with a false impression and he’s truthful about his thoughts, feelings, intentions, and behavior.
#4. Financial support
Her husband assumes the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family. If his income is insufficient to provide essential support, he resolves the problem by upgrading his skills to increase his salary. Yet he doesn’t work long hours, you know like keeping himself away too long from his wife and family, but he’s able to provide necessary support by working a forty to forty-five-hour week.
#5. Family commitment
Her husband commits sufficient time and energy to the development of the children. He reads to the kids, he engages in sports with them, and he takes them on frequent outings. He reads books and attends lectures with his wife on the subject of child development so that they’ll do a good job together raising the children.
So there you have it.
And this is good advice if you are essentially a one woman provider. If you’re married, with children, and you want the best for the children, this is all solid advice.
But, if you want to be the bad boy who is nailing the college hottie on weekends and nailing the hot MILF on weekdays, and you want to keep your options open…
Or you want to be the guy with two or three girlfriends in a circle-style relationship, then this kind of advice of meeting needs really doesn’t apply to you.
Why? Because it would simply be EXHAUSTING and impossible to meet all the needs of multiple girls!
It’s NOT your job to meet the needs of the women in your life.
To keep a girlfriend that you meet once or twice a week happy, all you really need to be is the dominant hot lover, and fulfill your own sexual fantasies through the girl. That’s generally enough to keep a girl happy with you if you’re not living together.
Because women don’t need providers. Women can make their own money easily enough. All they need is to be bent over and take their strong man’s sperm.
They don’t need conversation – that’s what their girlfriends and friends are for.
All they need from you is to be bent over and take their strong man’s sperm.
She doesn’t need honesty or openness. She knows that your seeing other women and doing things separate from her.
All she needs from you is to be bent over and take her strong man’s sperm.
Affection is necessary when you’re around her, but even that should be tempered by dominant sex where the woman surrenders to her strong man.
So there are two types of guys.
The first type are “Providers” to one woman, who live under the same roof with that woman, and they intend to have children with the woman. In which case, the 5 needs found in the book “His Needs, Her Needs” applies.
The second type is the alpha guy who is just there to provide alpha sperm.
In that case, the only need you provide to woman is intense, wet, rollicking sex and your strong cock and your strong will, caveman-style.
And women will stick around with you just for the sex. They’ll even have children with you, even if all indications point that you’d be the most deadbeat of the deadbeat Dads.
Because biologically, what women have a natural instinct to do, is to get impregnated by the sexy, hot lover alpha male, who will give her the sexiest most alpha children, and then meet another guy down the road perhaps months or years later, who is more of the provider type, who will meet her five core needs I just described, and take care of the kids, affection, and finances.
So if you enjoy being that alpha bad boy, my suggestion is, instead of focusing on meeting the woman’s 5 needs that she wants from a provider male, instead focus on having YOUR 5 needs met from the multiple women in your life instead. And that is, primarily, for sexual fulfillment.
9 thoughts on “Why Your Needs Are More Important Than Women’s Needs In Relationships”
ya this is always a delicate balance, need to please her and yourself at the same time
Wrong. All wrong. Kinda sounds like you’re treating women like objects really. I’d honestly prefer a nice guy over some “alpha male” who feels the need to bang 5 chicks at once anyday. And if I’m in a relationship, I would need conversation and most definitely honesty. I have a boyfriend and he’s really nice to me and is honest and appreciative. The sex is great but that’s not enough or the only reason I stick around. I stick around for his personality lol. Well anyway, this might be helpful to SOME people but as a woman, I don’t personally agree
Great article Jesse. I had my girlfriend read this article for me. She was really surprised that a man’s #1 need is sexual fulfillment. I was totally honest (one of the needs for her) and told her about my sexual wants and how I wasn’t satisfied with our sex life. We ended up reading through other posts together and she was surprised by how men need to be a bedroom bull but admitted the idea turned her on. She’s learning how to deep throat, and getting pretty damn good at it. She’s also learned how to take anal and understands that even if it’s uncomfortable it’s important for a man’s feeling of dominance. The post on sweet but painful sex was a real help. She now regularly submits to anal and rough sex and I’ve never been happier with our sex life. And she’s so sexually satisfied (and worn out 😈 ) that we rarely argue anymore. She’s even started doing things like making nice dinners and dressing super sexy for me.
True talk. It’s kinda messed up when you don’t have clearly defined relations. Case in point: I met this Great girl when I was in a committed relationship. We liked each other, but because I was trying to be the ‘provider’ to my girl at the time we could only be friends.
I eventually broke up with that girl. Duh. I then messed around with this same Great girl, and a New girl at the same time (openly).. while figuring out what I wanted. Before I could do that New girl starts demanding commitment and giving me ultimatums. So I caved in, and yet maintained a very good friendship with Great girl while never giving myself totally to new girl.
Recently, I broke up with New girl (after 2 years) – big duh again. Now I gotta leave town for good and that got me wondering about my emotions and shit towards Great girl.
It turns out I’ve got huge unresolved feelings of all kinds for this girl. But by this time over 4 years have passed and she’s got a guy and she’s happy. Fuck, I’m so happy for her I could be gay (no pun intended, I mean homo). But I had to know, did she ever have feelings too?
We’re great now, but that was a pretty awkward chat a couple of weeks ago. The thing is I don’t feel rejected or hurt, but just glad that I’m maturing to the stage where I can learn from this stuff instead of getting all sulky and shit.
I got to know this girl too well to have been purely carnal with her, if she wanted my bank account she could have all 0.72$ of it. 😉
I’m leaving town anyway, but being friend zoned BY MYSELF is a bitch. But I’m still very young and I’ve learned a lot, AND I’ve still got a great friend!
I just felt like telling my story.. It’s like a battle between “provider” and “alpha” mindsets, I’m sure a lot of guys can relate.
Oh and I never got to say – thank you Mr. Charger, you’ve been a big help.
thanks for sharing your story with me man
Hey Jesse, you´re totally right . I´ve been a reader of your website from a long time ago . But I have a Question : Since all of the men are in one end of the spectrum, I mean there are some men who are outright direct with women ( 98% of the masses)and scare the hell out of them because they´re only interested in sex .. but in the other side of the spectrum there are more “stealth ” guys ,but I f u wait too looong, women put you in the friend zone ..ouch! So whats the balance to have the best of both worlds ?
Choko, you’ve got it wrong. Most guys are NOT direct with women, in fact they HIDE their intentions. The hide their intentions, get to know the woman as a “friend” and then suddenly make their desires known to the girl at an awkward moment. That’s how you creep a girl out.
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