Your Girlfriend Is Mad You Looked At Other Chicks- What To Do

Hey Jesse, here’s how my girlfriend got pissed off at me for looking at some other girls.

I noticed a large group of young sexy coeds, in their teens, in a restaurant, while eating a late dinner with my girl.

They were doing some sort of funky activities for pledge week or an initiation in a back room with an open door.  I asked my girl about it and she wasn’t happy.  On the way out of the restaurant, I asked the owner, who we both know, but he was clueless about what was going on with the coeds.

However, my girl was so upset that I brought it up again.  She went on and on about how she was so embarrassed by my behavior.


So I assume she was being jealous of my interest in the young coeds, and this was a test. You see, my girlfriend assumes I am a dog, like my own father, who ogles every girl that walks by.

But my interest in the coeds was really innocent.  She blamed me for something that I didn’t do and I tried to defend myself.  I bought into her frame, the frame that she can pick on me for something trivial out of her imagination.

Here’s where I screwed up.  I tried to smooth things over by giving her a backrub and tried talking about her “feelings”.  I was rewarding her bad behavior.

I even became intermittently apologetic, upset and angry.

I gave too much importance to what she said and let her antics control my inner state.


I was trying my best to keep her from going to bed angry!!!

She was tired and I felt rushed to resolve the “crisis”.

She went to bed angry and we obviously did NOT have sex, breaking a record of 3 weeks of daily steamy sex.

Here’s some responses I thought of to use on her:

“I forgive you for trying to ruin my night. However, thankfully, your mood doesn’t control my happiness.”

“Since we didn’t have sex last night, you get to wear the thong and leggings today with high heels. So I guess it’s win-win.”

“Are you being jealous? In that case…Yes, I actually did notice one hot girl with big tits, and I was even thinking of inviting her over for a threesome.”

The next day, I ended up using almost all of the above and it went really well.  Here’s how it went down:

First, I asked her to come into my bed.  She said to me, “No, come to me.”  I waited her out and she came to my bed.  I held her and stroked her until she brought up the incident again.  She was just repeating herself, and it seemed like she wanted ME to grovel.

I first went with, “I forgive you for almost ruining my night…”

I didn’t get to finish.

She felt that she had nothing to apologize for. She started to get heated and pull away.

But then I quickly went into playfully saying that she “got me”… that I was really staring at one coed with big tits and we should have a threesome.  She playfully hit me, but came back in close, almost snuggling.   And when I felt her getting mildly angrier and slightly pulling away I used it again later with the same effect.

When I said that now she has to wear the leggings, thong and heels, she sarcastically said something like “Thank you so much for letting me wear them”.  I pretended she was serious and went with it.  I said to her “Sure, you’re quite welcome, anytime,” which increased the playfulness a bit.

Telling her how her mood doesn’t affect my happiness was hard for her to believe, but I said it convincingly and then said it again but in other words. She was amazed that I could “compartmentalize” (her term) so well.

Nonetheless, despite now holding me close, she still wanted to harp on the episode.  I used the “Diffusion Technique” to say that we simply disagree, and we will continue to disagree for at least the next two weeks.  I told her that we will have to agree to disagree AND that it’s one thing that we love about each other, in that we are not simple “yes men” to each other.  We challenge each other.  She ate that up!

In the end, we had great sex this morning.

Sundays and Fridays have become mandatory lingerie-to-bed nights.

I am a true believer, thanks Jesse!  Any additional advice?

~ Jason

a35154f74fa345ad32fe10774d029a34 Jesse’s Reply

If it were merely a test, she would have dropped it more quickly.  That she kept harping on you about it strongly indicates that she’s deeply jealous and despises it when she perceives the attention is off of her.

Most girls will try to henpeck the man into submission over time.

Women will try to create enough tiring drama so that the man will calculate it’s not worth it.  Her goal is to make the man reason, “Yeah, I’d like to look at this girl, but I just don’t want to deal with all the DRAMA my woman will give me… eh, it’s not worth it.”


They can be ruthless about henpecking you, because it’s in their genetic interested that you never EVER come close to having sex with another woman.

You still bought into the frame that looking at another woman is bad.  So she got what she wanted, mission accomplished.

Most guys in relationships rationalize that they don’t want to look at other girls as an issue of fairness or love or commitment.   But more often than not, the deeper reason is that they don’t want to put up with their woman’s emotional drama.  And that henpecking is how women keep their man from even thinking about straying.

Another reason guys actually like it, is because of the saying, “A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend.  If she doesn’t get jealous when someone s your attention, it’s because someone has hers.”  So to guys, it feeds into their ego that the girl acts that way, and they just go with it.


Guys also put up with it because their insecure and jealous themselves.  The idea of their woman looking at another man freaks them out, so they figure it’s only fair that they don’t look at women in return; or they don’t want to risk angering her, in case she would take on the same behavior.

So the reason men get boxed, often stems from the man’s own sabotaging belief systems.

Relationships feel exciting and great at first, because the two keep seducing each other.  It’s like a drug, and feels like this music video:

Cobra Starship ft. Sabi - "You Make Me Feel...." [Audio]

But with time, the woman creates drama to box the man’s options in, aided by the man himself.

You have a couple of options.

One is to just “go with the flow”.  Your women will keep having drama, and you’ll do everything you can to avoid that drama from coming up.  Which will mean you pretend never to notice other women, and your girl will have accomplished her mission of keeping you on the leash.  For most guys, this is just a “necessary evil” of enjoying a relationship.

Another option is to keep all women at arm’s length- never see a woman more than once a week.  This will keep her chasing you, and she won’t risk pissing you off with drama- it would be too easy to get dumped.  I suggest this method for outlier males that can meet women easily and quickly.

A third option is to be completely pimp tyrant with her and force her into a submissive role.

Here, you may mock her jealousy, or get angry, or get emotional- basically you get even MORE emotional than she does.  In bed, you constantly tell her how you’re going to fuck other women and how you’ll make her participate.  Some women will LOVE this and go with it.  Other women will greatly resist you, but still like it.  And yet other women will NOT put up with it, and give you so much return drama that the technique will backfire and it’s not worth the emotional output to always fight with the girl about it.

I’d only recommend this method if you feel 100% comfortable about walking away from the relationship, as it CAN backfire and is only good with a subset of women.  Check out the Blissnosis program if you’re interested in this option.

In your case Jason, I suggest you let the relationship cool off and start seeing her once a week.  Otherwise, it’s just drama you’ll have to put up with and say goodbye to looking at other women.

12 thoughts on “Your Girlfriend Is Mad You Looked At Other Chicks- What To Do”

  1. if she is this jealous then you probably need to find another girl

    dont wanna go through life always having to walk on egg shells

    unless she is super hot then exceptions can be made

  2. The original poster, or the guy who had asked the question let himself get sucked into her frame too much.

    Sure, we’re all humans and cannot always be on point, but lesson should be learnt and not get so outframed by your girlfriend.

  3. Jesse…What about another option?

    I was in a LTR a few years back and the girl would get INSANELY jealous (or controlling?), to the point where if a girl even walked in front of me in my field of view she accused me of checking her out. I never took it seriously…but of course got into arguments.

    But came a point in the relationship where I was content but I was so fed up with a bunch of her stuff that even though I was enjoying her, I was willing to walk away if she kept it up.

    So next time she did it, while she was giving me all these bs reasons and explanations I sat her down and calmly/confidently just told her why it’s perfectly normal, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with her, etc etc… I just explained it to her, put my foot down, was completely in control of myself, and I only said it ONCE.

    She didn’t stop doing these things, but I held my ground, and I had an advantage in where I was willing to walk away from her if she did anything to cross the line. She tried playing games, tried arguing at times, openly looking at and flirting with guys…and I honestly just didn’t care. After enough of this and seeing how it didn’t faze me and I still kept checking out girls, she broke down crying one night…and instead of getting angry like she always was, became submissive and told me nicely that she was insecure blah blah (basically the truth came out), I repeated what I said earlier to her in a more calm/comfortable why, and still held my ground. (I still didn’t care).

    I really didn’t know what was going to happen after that point. But guess what? After that night, the drama stopped, she stopped playing games to try to get me jealous (for the most part) and for the next 4-5 months (until we separated), though I could see it bothered her…she never brought it up again. I had the added advantage in that I was already willing to leave if she kept up with the craziness, but that’s what worked for me.

    1. Yeah, but it did BOTHER her. Personally, I don’t like being in a relationship where I’m torturing the girl. Either be with a girl, or play the field. Be a gangster or not. But doing both isn’t really fair to the girl you’re with.

      1. Jesse, thank you so much! I know you posted this long ago, but I’m still recovering from a relationship where the guy I loved deeply kept telling me he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t have sex with someone else. It hurt so much! That and many other cold behaviours. Took me a year before I left, and I still haven’t been able to move on fully from the pain of loving him and being treated so badly. Reading comments like yours, relating that kind of callousness to torture, reminds me that I’m better off without him.

    2. Anti-fag-face

      You’re being abusive towards her. If something is hurting her why force her to accept it and threaten to leave if she doesn’t. You’re the definition of an abusive asshole. She deserves better, I’m glad it ended.

  4. Nice post, I can definitively correlate to Jesse’s saying. Life with one girl or stay free… Both have advantages and disadvantages.

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