First, click on the video above to watch!
So many guys are caught up in this pornography and it really just not only saps your sex drive, but also actually saps your motivation in your drive to go out and meet women in general, independent of your sex drive. Now most guys are watching porn and it’s really going to hold them back in their lives.
The reason is, two reasons that I want to go into: Number one, is something called hedonic adaptation.
Hedonic Adaptation
Hedonic adaptation is where your brain grows accustomed to new titillating stimulation and eventually, that titillating stimulation has less and less effect, so that it doesn’t really have as much punch as it used to the first, second or third time.
For example, back in the early 1900s, if a man saw a woman’s ankles, he would get blown away. He is really turned on. To see a woman’s ankles was very titillating. Because women wore long, long dresses that covered up her legs, covered up her feet, and covered up their ankles. Woman would basically lift up her dress like this, to show on the ankle and that was amazing.
But today you see ankles and legs on television. You see women’s ankles and legs out on the streets. So it has no titillating effect on you anymore.
Instead, what men find titillating are breasts. Breasts are that titillating thing. But if you go down to a nude beach down in South Florida, for example, you see a bunch of naked breasts and at first you are like, “Wow! This is amazing!” Your brain is getting overload stimulation. “I never saw so many breasts before!” But after, actually, just a couple hours your brain adapts. It’s not as stimulatory and titillating. After a few days of going to the same beach it is going to seem normal. Breasts are normal. So your brain adapts; i.e. Hedonic adaptation.
Hedonic Adaption in Watching Porn
Now bringing this into porn, for example, let’s say you discover your perfect 10 porn. You discover the perfect girl and you think, “Wow! This girl is so amazing! So awesome! I could just jerk it to this one girl for the next year. I don’t even have to go look for other porn!”
But what happens is after a couple days of getting off to the same girl, even though she was your perfect 10, let’s say she was a tall blonde, now are you like, “I need to see some Hispanic girls, I need to see some black girls”. So actually, after a couple of days, you get bored with the same porn star even if she was amazing. That’s hedonic adaptation.
Or let’s say you develop or collect this big ultimate porn collection- the best porn you have ever discovered and you just collect it. What happens? You never really go back and watch that collection. You never go back into the archives or anything. You are always looking for new stimulation.
Because, no matter how good the porn was, your brain adapts quickly to that titillating experience. You need something new. You need something more. So what happens is that your brain is accustomed to constantly getting new girls, new stimulation from pornography. And when you go out and meet real girls on the street, club or bar, wherever it is, the girls are not as titillating.
They’re not really sexy. They’re not what you would really want them to be and only the super fine 10s can even get you motivated or inspired. So what happens is your brain adapts to these hypersexual girls in porn and then when you see real women in real life, you are just not that motivated. What happens is you go out, you see normal girls but you don’t feel that motivated.
You’re like, “Yeah, I should go talk to her, I should go talk to that one, I should do this, I should do that…” But you don’t really have that drive that forces you to go do it, because your brain is not getting stimulated by regular girls. So you think, “I will just go back home and watch some porn; Get that stimulation”. So that’s one way that saps your drive.
The Chocolate Cake Analogy
Another way that porn, really, can sap your drive is I am going to use an analogy with chocolate cake i.e. grandma’s chocolate cake. Grandma makes chocolate cake for you every week. It’s delicious chocolate cake. It’s grandma’s chocolate cake.
So every week you put on some nice clothes, you get into your car, you drive over to grandma’s house, you say hello to grandma, you talk to grandma, she pulls out the chocolate cake, you take the fork, you put the fork into the cake, you put it up to your mouth and “Mmm….!”- Grandma’s chocolate cake is delicious.
Now your buddy says to you, “Look I have got this awesome machine. You can have all the chocolate cake you want; you can have all the desserts. In fact, you just hook up this machine, these two wires to your brain and it will give you the stimulation of eating desserts”.
So with this machine, you can press a button and you are getting chocolate cake stimulated to your brain. It feels like you’re really experiencing chocolate cake… but directly to the to the pleasure center of your brain! Then you hit another button and now you can get pumpkin pie. And you hit another button and 30 seconds later you can get ice cream and hit another button 30 seconds later you can feel like getting chocolate chip cookies, the most mouth savoring delicious chocolate chip cookies you’ve ever eaten.
And say, you just get desert pleasure for two weeks, non-stop.
And what’s great about this machine is that you don’t have to even expend any time or effort to get the pleasure.
You don’t even have to you put your fork down, up to your mouth and chew. You have to expend calories to do that. You don’t have to go drive to the store, expend gas or pay money for gas. You get it all instantly from this machine.
So what happens?
After two weeks of doing using the machine, Grandma calls you up and says to you, “Hey! Sunny, come on over and eat some chocolate cake with me”.
So you think to yourself, “I should spend some time with grandma. I should eat some real chocolate cake. I should go over there and do my obligation”. But you’ve got to get dressed. You’ve got to get inside the car. You’ve got to buy some gasoline. You’ve got to go over to grandma. You’ve got to say hello. It’s a big production, you think to yourself.
You don’t feel that motivated to do it. It just starts to feel like a hassle. Especially, since you had this machine and since you can get the stimulation right to your brain instantaneously… AND it even tastes BETTER than grandma’s chocolate cake. Because in this machine they had some sciences design what was the perfect tasting chocolate cake for you.
So you just don’t feel like going to see grandma. It’s not fun anymore because the simulation of the machine is more fun.
How Porn Kills Your Motivation To Take Action
So it’s the same way, same exact same thing with the girls and porn. Basically you jerk off to some porn and then you just don’t feel the motivation that you should to go out and meet REAL girls.
You feel like, “Yeah, I should go out… I should do this… I should do that… but I can just get pleasure and stimulation from watching pornography”.
And even if you DO go out, then because you have hedonic adaptation, the real girls are not really stimulating you in the same way, because you have been seeing tons of naked bodies, tons of naked girls in porn. You can’t control the fantasies exactly how you want. So when you see the girl in the club it’s just not as stimulating as it should be.
The Short-Term Trap Of Watching Porn
Now here is really the trap of porn.
In the very short-term, porn is awesome!
Let’s say an asteroid is going to hit the earth and you have 30 minutes. Are you going to be like, “Ah God, I got to meet some real girls”?
After all, you only have 30 minutes to live. You’re not going to get laid in 30 minutes.
If your outlook is 30 minutes from now, porn is great. Because you can get a lot of pleasure and a lot of stimulation from porn. You can expend zero time and effort to get that pleasure and stimulation.
The problem is that we tend to think very short-term. We want the short term payoff. So we’ll just watch porn.
The problem is on the long-term. Let us say, a 3 year timescale.
Take Two Guys- One Who Watches Porn, The Other Who Doesn’t…
Take one guy that’s watching porn and another guy that avoids porn. The guy who just skips out on porn, maybe three years from now he can have two or three girlfriends. He’s gotten laid like 20 or 30 times. He is socially sharp from going out. And because he’s been around girls, he feels that pressure on himself to go the gym, to look nice, be healthy, eat correctly, and have good habits.
Whereas the guy that just gives into the easy temptation of porn, gives into the quick stimulation of porn with no effort.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to look good.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to eat healthy or go to the gym.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to be social and be socially sharp.
He’s not going to have any girls around him.
And he’s not going to have two or three girlfriends. He is not going to be getting laid. So three years from now; even though there is a short-term payoff to watching porn which traps you into wanting to do it, over the long-term it’s a very negative habit. It’s really going to hold you back.
What About Cheat Days? The Backsliding Problem
Now you might be asking, “Jesse, what about a cheat day? Can I have a cheat day where once a week I watch porn? I don’t do it very often, but I want to watch a little porn here and there.”
The problem with that is, you’ll watch porn once and then it can be very easy to backslide into that habit of watching it day after day, two or three days in a row, or worse.
You get the stimulation one day and then the next day you are like “I kind of want to see that other girl. I didn’t quite finish off to her”, so the second day you’re back to it.
It’s very easy to backslide into it if you have cheat days.
Cheat Days Aren’t For Champions
Another issue with cheat days is, if you want to be, for example, a great runner, you want to do marathons and you want to really excel at your hobby… then yes, you CAN have a cheat day eating all you can eat at McDonald’s every Saturday. But it’s not going to make you the best marathon runner.
Doing that cheat day is really going to impinge on your results.
If you want to get the best results out of your hobby or out of your passion of women, you don’t want to have that cheat day of doing porn.
You want to align all of your habits to be good habits to give you the best results you can get. You don’t want to be cheating with bad habits.
You don’t want to be in the mindset that pornography is a positive reward. You want to see porn more like eating junk food or smoking, where you want to just avoid it completely. There’s really no reason to do a cheat day.
Watching Porn Will Kill Off Your Genes
Another thing to consider is that porn watching is a maladaptive trait, where your brain is tricked into thinking that porn is like fucking a real girl, when it’s not.
You’re wasting your time on the simulation fantasy. It’s not going to help you reproduce.
So basically you are going to have two groups of guys in society- first, guys that get sucked into porn because it’s tricking their brain. Their caveman brain can’t tell the difference between the fantasy and going after girls in real life.
Versus guys that, for whatever reasons their genes say, “I am going to skip the porn. I am going to go after real girls”.
Those are the guys that are going to be genetically successful.
They are going to have more sex.
They are going to have more children.
They are going to have more choice of women.
They are going to have more fit offspring to propagate their genes into future generations.
Whereas the guys that get all hung up on porn or spend a good deal of their days in front of porn are eventually going to get weeded out.
Which Side Are You On?
So, it’s really almost like a life-and-death struggle of your genes. Are you able to adapt to the post-1995 universe of the world, where porn is basically ubiquitous?
Can you still get the hot girls in that kind of situation, or is this new technology going to suck you into the abyss of not being able to procreate?
Because maybe you can’t not adapt to the new pitfalls in the new environment. And as you know, species go extinct or certain traits in the species go extinct when the environment changes and that species or groups within the species can’t adapt to the new environment.
So you want to be one of those guys that is adapting to modern society. A guy who can still procreate, be successful genetically in evolution instead of being one of those guys that your lineage is going to be snuffed out because you wasted time watching porn with lack of motivation.
Leave me a comment!
There are two things you can do however one is to leave a comment right below the video. I read all the comments.
I am interested in what you have to say and I reply to a good number the comments when I get the chance.
Jeez.. this is me. I’ve been watching porn far to long. So the desire to go out, socialize with women and actually get laid isn’t there. I’m a 24 year old male and i need to get out of this if i want to actually get married and have kids. I feel trapped and i need to get out!!
I think this is all a myth, sure porn can affect relationships and self esteem and it’s almost certainly addicting and can definitely be abused and turned into a crazy out of control habit, but I don’t agree that it is entirely bad. The bad thing about porn is that it is and will always be better then real sex. Love is love no matter what but porn is just lust for the animal desire that is in all of us.i wouldn’t say you have a extreme porn problem unless you become associated with deviant behavior like Ted Bundy. I think you can have healthy relationships with people and still watch porn if your not getting laid. I don’t wanna just fuck girl after girl. I want one girl to have sex with and to call my own, this is what porn is for. I wouldn’t want to act out the lust in porn into real life. That is exactly why it is a fantasy and even if I didnt look at porn sometimes I would still beat off to the thought of certain women and even past experiences. There’s nothing to ashamed of because in reality it’s what humans desire. You can’t let your sex drive take control of your life though, that is where you must draw a line. Porn films have been around for decades, it is exclusively for the lonely lol
Thanks for the great video. It was very informative and really helped me a lot.
A “Real woman” has real orgasms blow up dolls fake theirs.
reality 1 unreality 0.
Its hard to be seduced by a blow up doll?
ya a lot of people really do get too caught up in it, like everything porn is best in moderation
I liked what you had to say,there is a lot of truth to it,for me I am a 47 year old man been married & divorced 3 times just got out of a bad 5 year relationship I two kids from my first marriage and their having children,I dont want to be involved with women not even for sex.
I dont have that kind of sex drive any more ive been through to much bullshit its easier to self gratify and no bullshit no lies,no cheating,no jumping through hoops to try and make someone else happy,no resentment.so this is good for alot of people their those us who are happier this way who knows maybe someday i will get back to chasing pussie,but for now i am content. I really like this program their is alot of good advice thank you
George A. Wheeler
just cool idea that works
I lack looks, social skills, a career, and cash….Porn has completely destroyed my ability to have relatonships with women. I have had two repationships in my life and I am 36….The idea of going out and getting rejected seems crazy….But I want a relationship…..I’m fucked
i’m a porn addict but i still like to go out now and then – to the brothel lol. there’s absolutely no point in a bloke wasting his valuable time getting unnecessarily involved with women in the 21st century.
Good article.
It was difficult, but I finally managed to masturbate to your article. Thank you.
This is the best.
I can’t stop laughing at this comment.
Thank you very much for your video! This was the most helpful video I have ever seen in my entire life related to porn.
I have one question that keeps getting holding me back.It would really help me finish my “adaptation” as you state in your video. Although all you’ve said is more than enough to have a great kickstart that could end with my “addiction”.
What happens if you are not getting laid and you are not jerking off, because you don’t want to have kids or get any STDs, do you get like a prostate cancer because of not using your organs as you should be doing? Or something like that? I read in some websites some years ago that not having sex or jerking off (if you don’t have a partner) can seriously damage the organs involved in your reproductive system.
Hope to have a reply from you!
thanks you this post helped me tremendously
Im a lost soul,, i jerked off while reading this article,, the way you wrote it turned me on..
This man knows what he is talking about – Thanks
this is really go to my life thaks
Good job. This will help many.
There are many issues with porn, as most of the performers are sex workers. And you didn’t mention gay porn, which a lot of the performers are heterosexual identifying men who do it as a job. And I actually agree with you to a large degree, I’m a very good looking guy and a good catch, but I can’t be bothered with people’s shit. And I’m not actually into penetration (giving or receiving), so it is hard to find a partner that is simpatico.
I really liked your article, and I made a pact to myself that I would start to NOT watch porn for at least one month and see what result turns out.
You’re brainwashed.
My problem is having the confidence to approach. when I do have the balls to approach I usually have a great conversation and then I always run out of things to talk about. Just want to get my sex drive back. Help me.
Ive read some of your articles and ive been guilty of the porn thing lately as well, I stupidly let my girlfriend go through a series of my own stupid actions and have been trying to win her back last couple of months with the whole regret, love you so much stuff and after reading some of these posts this weekend when she comes over im gunna hit her with a whole new man. Made alot of sense hearing the comments and posts. Time to step up and stop bitching out lol.
You can have both…most people watch porn…even females. I understand this would be an issue for some people but even the guys who get girls most likely watch porn sometimes, its just something to get you off thats different from your girlfriend. You don’t feel attachment to the girl in the porn its purely simulation. A way to explore your fantasies and find what you like, then you can try it with your girl. Nothing is better than real sex.
I’ italian and i never seen video but reed article. I think it is very good; so helpful. It is true: the porn away from real life ; by real women and it makes sad and powerless. Thank you very much for your important initiative.
Very nice video it makes sense. I’m a older guy and a little shy how do I make the first move on a girl that I want to have sex with?
You respect her, and don’t just go after her because you want sex
Real nice and highly persuasive article…
This is an awesome article! Thank you so much, you really thought this out, I’m very impressed!
It really make sense
your video is truly educating. though i hav never been a porn lover, i love d girls for real. THANKS.
Thanks Jesse I’m going to try this I’m definitely going through this I was doing good had a habit breaker on my phone I didnt play with it for ten days and I broke my habit one day and its hard to stop it again I’m going on one day so far wish me luck thanks Jesse
Porn in and of itself is nothing more than a form of entertainment, period. An addiction is something totally different, which is what your alluding toward.
As for infertility or killing off gene’s, there have been scientific studies done on males who submerse there testicles in a pool of water, over 45 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes a day for a 90-day-period will see the sperm count drop to a very low amount. It will make the male infertile for a period of time after ceasing this as well, and will take time to rebuild the sperm count back up to normal levels.
There are also many reason why motivation is lacking in having a partner, stress, personal choice are the two big ones.
The only point I will agree with you on this is addiction/immersion can counter sociological aspects of attracting a partner. It is when the immersion takes you out of reality and creates a discord in thought processes.
Married with kids, have a couple of gfs and been watching a lot of porn religiously on a regular basis for well over 20 years.
This is a great article. Thanks for writing it.
Really!!! Thanks a lot for sharing this truth, which i knew already but didn’t have the gut to follow. But from now on, i not going to hold myself back at home. I am going enjoy those hard-times with girls whatever the situation may be.
Maybe I’ve just been in the scientific community too long… but your article seems to include no real evidence. Everything is anecdotal. You don’t even mention something as simple as a survey that asks men how often/long they have watched porn compared to how often they go out/meet women/have sex. You are clearly targeting an audience of people already feeling guilty about watching porn. People who will listen to you not because it’s true, but because it’s what they want to hear. And for all I know, it may be true, but you’re arguments rely exclusively on guilt tripping and scare tactics. Any readers of this article should, at the very least, be skeptic of the claims Jese makes.
Think of it like this: the whole point of ejaculating is to inseminate a woman and produce offspring. The longer you have between ejaculations, the more desire you will have to go and find a woman to impregnate. By “taking care of yourself” you loose that desire and start seeing the gratification of masturbating as the “point of life” (to an extent).
You don’t need scientific studies to notice this, just common sense and a bit of discipline – i.e. try not jacking off for a week or two and see how much your drive to go out and meet people increases. It does. Hands down (or off the penis…).
Chances are you won’t find a study like this done for a long time, as masturbation and porn is still such a taboo subject. Do your own study on yourself. Next time you feel like watching porn instead go out and see how much more interested you are in the women that you come into contact with. It will be hard at first, but the rewards are endless!!
References: a 28 year old male that masturbated 4+ times a week up until about 6 months ago, then reduced it to once a week tops. Since then; WOMEN!! Real, physical, sexy, incredible women with nice warm vaginas. If you like the feel of a hand that much, you can always teach them to use theirs properly 😉
Citations needed because this whole thing seems like utter horse shit. My husband has been watching porn since he was 12 and he has had lots of girlfriends. I have been looking at porn since I hit puberty and I had tons of boyfriends and a girlfriend. Most of my friends look at porn and they are all married or have had lots of partners.
The only people who are going to fall into all of this shit are people who easily become addicted to things. My grandmother is a person like that. She’s addicted to Farmville, cigarettes, and soda. If she has to go without any of those things for very long she loses her mind.
You can’t say porn does this to everyone because it’s just not true.
Since watching porn becomes addictive,how does a man quit.seems like just wanting to quit isn’t enough. I have what I though was a really good relationship with my fiancé,we’ve been together 18yrs. He just admitted his long term habit to me&I am heartbroken and there is a hood chance I won’t be able to stay with him due to lack of trust. Any advice?
… u can’t stay with him because he watches porn fairly often? Good luck finding another guy, if that makes you leave one. And he probably did my want to tell you, because telling someone your a porn addict probs wouldn’t feel great
you promised one thing as a hook but didn’t deliver . . . .
Jesse I’m 20 going on 21 use to be popular got hurt and lost everything pretty much friends Gf and girls liking me I turned to porn for a relief and didn’t exspect to get carried away its a serious problem not sure what I should I can only do so much because of my accident I post all confidence and drive I’m afraid what should I do
The real thing is too much work ! Computer sex rocks…when I get tired of jacking off to my perfect 10, I just find another to replace her…and best of all I don’t have to worry about any STD’s and wearing a condom just don’t feel the same. Also there’s no commitment or money out of my wallet for a date, and I don’t have to put up with a woman’s P.M.S…or honey I have a headache…Need I keep giving endless.examples of why my porn is superior…this is 2015, cybersex is the new wave…to all of you who agree, let me hear you holla !
What nonsense. There is nothing wrong with watching porn as long as you keep it in proportion. Obviously if you spend your whole day and night at home pulling yourself off in front of the screen you have a problem, but there is nothing unhealthy about indulging in a bit of porn now and then.
Why give people hang ups and make them feel guilty about themselves. That is so fucking Catholic!
Hell, my girlfriend loves porn too. We have a normal life and an extra healthy sex life.
And what the hell are you doing having an 11yr old comment on this thread? Your site should be 18+ or 21+ only for the info it is handing out.
Let’s spell this out – anything you spend so much time on at home (or elsewhere) that starts to make you neglect yourself, your friends and your family to a large extent is unhealthy. That includes porn, drugs, video games and especially G.O.L.F. (Gay Outdoor Lifestyle with Fellas)
Lol but true
nice
This is bullshit. The only way porn could possibly lead to the situation described is if you ONLY watch porn and do nothing else. I’ve managed to get a girl friend while watching porn so I know this is absurd. Also porn is no where near as good as real sex so it won’t kill your motivation and watching porn won’t turn into a repulsive slob with no social skills. No one watches porn constantly except for maybe people with porn addiction. Jesse is probably just saying this so he can sell his pick up lines and dating advice more easily so you have to consider the source. I’m not impressed, there is very little I feel is accurate about this article.
What about masturbating?
Jesse..i really liked your article. But is masturbating to, not porn but hot images of actress wearing
sexy dresses(not naked) is also harmful as masturbating watching porn. Is their any chance of addiction or someting else?? Please help….i like it but sometimes worry about it, i don’t know why?
What if you don’t care about finding a real woman? I have had plenty of sex already. Personally I don’t feel that drive to get a serious partner and I am fine just sticking to porn from now on.
Thanks Jesse. This is a powerful piece. It’s an everday struggle out here man, but we are men and we can handle it. I go off the stuff for days and even weeks at a time; but I always come back when I don’t get immediate gratification with real women. Porn is poison. It pollutes the mind, blunts our natural predatory instincts and ultimately endangers our genetic future. We have advanced so face as a species that the threat to our lineage once presented by a sabertooth tiger or the raw elements, is contained in a computer chip. Funny, isn’t it?
Why does everybody assume only guys watch porn, I read through all this only to realize it only applies to guys
Exactly. Please do the he she thing
Porn is basically the vice of the peasant. Just remember people, semen carries life force energy, when you conserve this , your magnetism is flowered outwards. Also when you ejaculate your testosterone goes down.
Well… i can agree with the motivation part as far as you accurately describe how the ‘sap’ works.
But what about guys for whom its the other way around? Ive not started watching porn till 18, and ive never had a gf (or hookup) before that. Neither did it happen after that with a brief exception at 24-26 and I’ll be 30 this november lol
At some point you just say ‘f* it’, the motivation youre killing wouldnt get you anywhere either, why live with all that pent-up drive.
Its a nice concept youre presenting there, but honestly, for some people, motivation isnt going to cut it.
that said, I do watch porn alot less now anyhow because naturally the sex drive decreases with age for men.
I think you describe the effect very well and i get what youre trying to do here but for some guys, just getting thier motivation up is not going to cut it… although it may not be as readily visible as it is for me (i’m handicapped and not very attractive in part because of that).
what happens to a female who watches pornography or what are the negative effects of watching pornography on women
Spot on! Im currently watching “Life in the undergrowth” and its about insects and competing to produce offspring. The ones that don’t make it and do not get tricked die off. The stronger survive.. I guess the whole porn trick is being made by mostly males that do not won’t you to reproduce and carry out your genes. Damn!! It’s no different than the bugs bunny cartoon where the bad guy designs a hot bunny robot for bus to go after, only to find deception and the bad guy wins.
Great work Jesse. We all need to get back in the fight for life. Just like the Spartan army at Thermopylae.
Thank you!
Wow you’ve helped me a lot man, I’m 15 and I started watching porn when I was 9 and I used to think porn was the best thing ever.. But now I don’t find girls atractive as I used to find them atractive.. But after watching this video I’ll do my best to stop watching porn.. And whats your youtube chanal?
This video really opened my eyes! Latley I can’t sleep unless I watch porn and when I do have sex it is not very satisfying eg I do not ejeculate!! But please help me!!!!!!! How do I stop!!! I want this to end but do not know how to go about it please help me out, would improve my life a million thanks.
many people better than you who watch porn regularly ******
this whole thing is absolute bullshit. I am a successful athlete (nationally ranked). I immensely enjoy talking to women and being with women. I have had several beautiful, wonderful girlfriends over the past years and currently yet I watch porn relatively often. I am 100% positive that my kids will be dominant due to fantastic genetic make up. I would also like to point out that there is no scientific proof behind the claim that masterbating to porn weakens your genes. The author of this article is not only incompetent but he is also uneducated. I would like to inform all those that don’t watch porn: there are many, MANY people in the world right now who are better than you at many things. So don’t be ignorant.
Hi JESSE
thank you so much.
i think a good girl enough for all time in real life 🙂 we really not need 2 or 3 girl 😀
all of your said is true GJ
Yes !!!! Everything you said is true iim not motivated !!! I use porn as a reward and I’m only 14 !! Everything in this is true
Thanks for taking the time and making the effort. You have done a good deed and all of this goes into the sum total of evidencing factors that we way we make our decisions – this is something I wanted in the mix!
My wife is a pornstar !
Man this has really inspired me to stop pornography for good! I tried to quit but every two weeks I somehow convinced my self that I should wank it with a web cam girl on skype – i’ve been trying to quit for 2 years!! (i somehow told myself that ya she’s real, but in reality i don’t know her, she lives in a different country, and she’s still virtual, even though she is real person i’m communicating with)
Is there some more motivating quotes or success stories you can post for motivation??
Best Regards,
JF
Farse, happily married enjoy my life,porn is part of development in my opinion, to all the young guys out there watch porn take notes and learn, so when you reach highschool or college you don’t stand their with your dick inyour hand. My views are that woman watch as much porn as men do to a degree, don’t objectify woman with your own sick fetishes etc… But when it comes down to your sexual prime, go in educated knowing how to enjoy sex, I was a virgin until the age of 16 which was young I actively watched porn from grade 7 onwards and believe me it gave satisfaction and goals to get errrr done properly when the time came around be a man, be yourself
Wow thanks so much! I know what u mean. I’ve been stuck on porn since puberty and I haven’t been with a lot of women because of it although I am a good looking guy. We’ll I’m done now. Noore porn for me. Thanks man!
So what happens when regular sex becomes part of hedonic adaptation? Does that mean we have to move on or is there a better way to spice things up?
I’d like to offer an opposing view; porn is awesome, and not just in the short term. Can you get an STD watching porn? Nope. Cause unwanted pregnancies? Un-uh. Porn is unlimited variety and access to incredibly hot women who would never have sex with you in person. I lift weights five days a week so I can look my best when I cam-to-cam with ladies online. For the critics, let me put it to you this way: two orgasms a day not only keeps the doctor away, its total stress free living. Spend some time around folks in relationships; they’re stressed all the time! I like stress free living, and it wouldn’t be possible with porn. Porn rules!
I Read and watch all your series and were very interested. However I was one of them who watch porn video for sometimes but want to ask you few question
Q1. Does watching porn Kill sperm cells?
Q2. If I watch porn and then having sexual intercourse with my wife, and afterward my wife still experience a monthly period of sick moon leading to no pregnancy. Is that the effect of watching porn?
Q3. Does saliva kill sperm cells?
Q4. If I faced these problem that you have mention, can the effects stop if I stop watching porn?
Please need you best and sure answers
Thank you!!!!!!
Great Article
Good write up. This is in line with many other takes on why not to watch porn. Don’t know how old this video is but I’ve been trying to kill my bad habits for the last couple of years now. Drunkeness, drugs, not eating healthy (or not at all sometimes), porn, and a few other more sever habits I left behind already. Still got some more improvement to do, but I’m a determined.
Anyway, every time I catch myself watching this bs I look up why not to watch it. It truly is a wasteful habit. To think there are so many beautiful women in my area too! IMO (hindsight being 20/20 of course) there are plenty of women in society that are just as beautiful, or sexy as the ones you see in porn. The exception being the cute girl at collage, gas station, dance studio, bar, (insert social situation here) are right there! It’s actually kinda frustrating sometimes because it becomes a “Which one do I want?” In a “perfect world” I’d have them all lol.
Anyway. Thanks for the vid and I’m off to eat, play guitar, and maybe go shooting, or hunting today. Happy trails partner.
Wow man you have really made me rethink myself going 2 years single concentrating on myself and for making my life better, I mean I have done that now because I haven’t used to to meet girls and just concentrated on my life but watched porn to get off and now I’m overweight but I must say that nothing will ever beat a real girl every time I go out if there is a young gorgeous girl I have always tried to get a number but thank you for this entire thing I just read
really i have no idea porn is killing my attraction towards real life girls.. from today i will stop watching porn…and look for only hot girls in real life.. thanks for your video
Don’t have sex, and don’t watch porn. Duhh
So, I’m making an attempt to cut porn out of my life, and recently I’ve been cutting out the real live videos (they seem artificial to me).
However, this is in part because I’ve replaced it with hentai videos. The animated scenes feel much more meaningful to me (it’s easier to find an actual story in this genre even if the story sucks), but I’m concerned that this may cause a similar effect that was stated in the video.
Any comments?
it’s a shame , i’m such a hot looking guy and can get any chick in a club, they are smiling at me all day and i would rather jerk off to porn, this makes me want to change that.
I have to say, damn. You make some great points. Even if what you say came off the top of your head it makes sense and has me really thinking about some of my mistakes. I used to try not to watch porn for religious reasons, but now I have something else to keep me from doing it. Thanks.
Hey Jesse,
So if “HEDONIC ADAPTATION” from porn or chocolate cake reduces a guys drive to get laid, will banging 26 hotties similarly reduce my sex drive?
John
No because your always seeking that new challenge the challenge on how to get that next girl, or how to add a new number to your laid girls. I constantly love new challenges I’m upto 45 myself and my friend challenged himself to make it to 100 but the sale thing is in marriage and relationships that’s why people have to spice up their sex life after a while because the same old thing gets boring unless you have women jumping onto your lap every 3 seconds then you’ll still always love a challenge to get the ‘new’ girl
This really really really help me. Thank you. It’s only going to help my marriage.
How did I get to this idiotic shit, I was looking for porn.
This video changed my life. Porn has caused me so many issues but I could not put my finger on it until now! Thanks
This is…pretty funny. You clearly have no idea what you’re talking about.
hey i am vineet 23 yr old whenever i watch porn movir sperm come out do qyickly in 1 minutr tell mr how to iinvrease time
Good information to know. Thanks. I can’t get over the important of looks of a woman.
Hi
I think this would be very usefull for all the kiddos who get addicted to porns and am proud to say that I DONT WATCH PORNS and this
Hey Jess think all tbe info with ur newslettr awsome
i watch all videos sent to me thanks, have a question though
just read bout ur advanced system and was curious what all
is included within this Advanced System thanks for any reply
DOUG.
i am 19, and i have been watching porn for years. but girls that are even 4s can still attract me
What about watching a porn you made with a girl, your own porn?
Is that acceptable or absolutely no watching porn allowed?
Jesse,
What about watching your own porn? Say I mak
What if u just masturbate and rub yr p*** but dont ejeculate ….
for motivation part . Is thr any harmful effect of it ? i mean i heard somewhere tht it would release excessive testosterone and would later convert in an estrogen.
Absolutely amazing video many thanks for posting this has helped me out alot 😀
Hi, I am a confident male and have no problems with the female dpt. but I will admit that I like to watch porn once in a while just to get off but I’ve never being an adicto.
I feel it will depend on the person but if you can’t overcome any type of addiction sure it would only be a matter of time before anyone can succumbed to the problema.
Wow, i’m such an idiot. Damn caveman brain!
Guys wht i just read is compeletely true i’ll fight this addiction
This article ignores the facts that most men watch porn, and that most men have children, and that most men have girlfriends, wives, ect. In short, watching porn isn’t a negative lifestyle habit, it’s been around since the invention of the photolense and it’s perfectly normal behavior. Also, your article is arguing as much against masturbation as it is pornography because one can imagine just as much as they can see. Needless to say that’s fundie hogwash, as proven by multiple psychological and sociological studies by people with real degrees and expertise in the matter.
The article also implies heavily that women are only supposed to be sexually stimulating from a physical perspective, and that their bodies are supposed to be objects of sexual desire, when that is entirely wrong. Women aren’t slabs of meat for you to fuck whenever you feel like it. Their bodies are entirely normal, and showing some ankle or showing some breasts should not be sexually stimulating. You’re just propagating the rape culture that is suppressing women’s, and in turn our own, rights as human beings by saying that women’s bodies shouldn’t be considered normal.
Trueeee so true
Well said, if I had read this article 10 years ago, my life would be truly successful. Porn surfing and game online eat your life up, and you will never level up in real life.
When I was 12 I saw a naked girl in the screen and I swear after staring at her breasts for a minute I came. The ejaculation was powerful. Now I’m 25 and have seen it all. Nothing stimulates me any longer. Whether it be lesbians, anal, big ass, etc… I wish I had read something like this long time ago
I am just leveling a comment for you or someone to read
Very good man!!! Thx bro thats what i really needed, i am exactally like that, i dont fell as good about myself as guys that dont watch porn!! Ty very much!!
Can you do one of these about the science of recovery? How can you recover from this and how long does it take for recovery based on length of addiction
I will tell you now you are right about some things, but slightly off. i watch shit loads of porn all the time and your right it gets old after a while but its about not over doing it as with everything (moderation) but the two things are separate and you get desensitised separately, for me anyway if i over do either i get desensitised, for a day or two anyway and dont bother, like if i have sex 4 times in the night i may not be incline to fuck more than twice in the morning, BUT could always be provoked with proper fourplay ALWAYS even if i dont come at the end her pleasure is satisfying enough for me. if i could offer advice online about this i would say dont wank too much just a big banner with that on it , a wank once a week feels nicer than the combined ten in one day little helpers like that and also if you have a girlfriend dont wank before she gets there! DUH! but mainly get good at sex! real powerful sex compares not to mere pictures or shit lo fi vids on the net,if your sex is drab and uneventful with someone who doesnt know how to turn you on properly maybe porn addiction is a danger, and if thats unavoidable due to marriage and them being a total legend in all other aspects, learn how to turn YOURSELF on! lead the situation and make it happen, talk about your sex life, but i digress, the main point is that watching porn does not deplete my motivation to court women, the real thing is always better and my brain still knows which is which and unless this is a warning to unexperienced men that watching porn is affecting your chances.. its probably not.. its probably due to social ineptness poor choice of friends, fashion, and or poor hygiene there are a million things that put a girl off but trust i watch loads of porn of all varieties to the point i get sick of it and stop watching for a while but i also sleep with plenty of women and have no trouble being motivated to go to the gym, you might as well try to help guys who cant get girls get them by exploring psychologically how to get different types of girl rather than telling them to stop watching porn the only things that get in the way of me sleeping with more girls are TIME and MONEY not porn, right, time for a quick wank then bed, gotta date tomoz (no lies)
Thanks for writing this it help me so much in my life I’v watched porn since i was 16 and findly understand what i’m going thru i learned i lot Thanks Kevin
ok I’m sorry but this is not completely true when I was 18 I watched porn like crazy, but I still went to the gym ate healthy took care of myself and I still went out. that same year I got married to my perfect women and we now have four kids. porn will only bring down your motivation if you let it.
wow, and I thought I was alone. There are so many who have become dependent on erotic videos for some type of relief from the stresses of life. I cant speak for all, but for me it leaves a lot more to be desired. Nothing could completely fulfill a man sexually and emotionally like a beautiful women who seeks the same fulfillment from him. These industries are getting rich by selling us a dream, using our most intimate and undeniable needs against us. The whole time we are ignoring the only thing which can truly fill the void and build us up as men. Women are indispensable attributes to us and can never be out shadowed by any alternatives. I want to thank the writer of this article for submitting his thoughts. In doing so you have surely motivated so many men, including myself to live his life in a more meaniful and fulfilling manner. Thank you for your guidance on such a intimate and even embarrassing topic. You have sparked the motivation in me to change.
I do it twice a day and still have the girl of my dreams, maybe what you are saying is true for some but not everyone.
You are absolutely right. People should not watch porn. I just hope I can be strong enough to stop …
Dude can you help me I can’t stop watching pporn and my religion is aginst it I’ve looked at load of website of how to stop but yours been theta best but one thing that I request is a app that I can use on my andriod to filter websites. Customers I can’t find any that worj on my fone
thax ininadvanced btw my phone has version 2.3.2 andriod
This is complete bullshit. Now for all of us intelligent men we see porn as an outlet or a inspiration for our relationships… Men will always have fantasies, and seeing those fantasies on screen is awesome! I also believe you need to be honest with whoever are with about your fantasies, no matter how perverted they seem to be…. The biggest reason to be honest with your significant other is so you can act out your fantasies with someone who loves you.. If they are offended by your fantasies then you need to find someone you can be with who loves you and wants to share in any experience whether it’s sexual or otherwise.
I don’t know if you answered this question, but what if you’re a girl watching porn everyday? I definitely do have a difficult time achieving orgasm with a partner. It usually takes several attempts. I just don’t want to have sex with new men or women all the time. I have herpes, so I rarely have sex. I usually only have masturbation to turn to. And honestly, porn has really opened me up to new sexual experiences that I would have never done before watching porn.
If your a women with a porn addiction please contact me!!! You’re a dream come true!!!
even with the herpes lol
Nice Video, Thanks
Idk bout all this cuz i can watch porn everyday and i still pull dimes still care bout what i look likeand dont really have much trouble talking to women…
What a load of crock,… porn is basically another modern convenience to use if desired, in moderation,… and with basically only positive benefits if seen with that perspective, reasonably speaking..
Porn doesn’t reduce my motivation and actions with women one bit, I’m social with ‘everyone’ and I go for the girls/women I’m attracted to whenever I see them, and the circumstances are reasonably allowing, without coming across ‘needy/too needy’, – basic vibe being, you think they’re attractive, you like their style, you’d like to hangout/go out with them to get further acquainted, with understated but understood amorous intent,… generally that’s ‘delivery’.
Coming on too strong, lacking social savviness, lacking sensitivity to social cues,.. being in some way too ‘primal’ can back fire for a lot of guys. So, be strong in your reality, go for what you want, be socially savvy, sensitive to social cues to adjust accordingly. You will get feedback from your behavior/actions,… adjust as necessary to proceed and potentially succeed in the direction you want to take,… reasonably speaking, for a civil, and passionate(!), society. 🙂
What a load of crock,… porn is basically another modern convenience to use if desired, in moderation,… and with basically only positive benefits if seen with that perspective, reasonably speaking..
Porn doesn’t reduce my motivation and actions with women one bit, I’m social with ‘everyone’ and I go for the girls/women I’m attracted to whenever I see them, and the circumstances are reasonably allowing, without coming across ‘needy/too needy’, – basic vibe being, you think they’re attractive, you like their style, you’d like to hangout/go out with them to get further acquainted, with understated but understood amorous intent,… generally that’s ‘delivery’.
Coming on too strong, lacking social savviness, lacking sensitivity to social cues,.. being in some way too ‘primal’ can back fire for a lot of guys. So, be strong in your reality, go for what you want, be socially savvy, sensitive to social cues to adjust accordingly. You will get feedback from your behavior/actions,… adjust as necessary to proceed and potentially succeed in the direction you want to take,… reasonably speaking, for a civil, and passionate(!), society. 🙂
I found it really hard to masturbate to this web page
Porn addiction is like cancer. It spreads, then destroys you. Stop watching porn or you will wither away, into lifeless human being. With no passion or drive for life. Thank you! God bless
Great Video!
watched porn at least 5 days a week for the past 3 years … have a fiance, have sex at least every other day … work 2 jobs and im starting college in 2 months. I take care of myself and eat right .. your theory is bullshit. Its just like blaming video games for violence. Video games dont make violence and porn doesnt make you unmotivated. Violent people like violent video games. Unmotivated people dont like to go out and try, they would much rather watch porn. So while unmotivated people watch porn, not all who watch porn are unmotivated.
Good info Jesse. Porn slowly takes away self esteem and confidence from men. Alpha males don’t need porn. They live in the real world and are not fooled by “The Matrix” of porn. Good job helping others get unplugged.
This was a very informative video. I have just recently found out my husband of 16 years has been watching porn. Not all the time but it’s been on and off. He didn’t delete his history so I found it on his laptop. When I confronted him about it he said it’s normal. Your video explains a lot, especially how he has been treating me the last few years. More of an object and focusing on what I’m not instead of what I am. We have 3 children so I suppose it’s easier for him to switch on the computer than to try and be nice to me. Many thanks.
I think your video is great I usually masturbate when I go to sleep but I’m going to quit for good watching porn! Do you think masturbation before going to bed it’s bad tho? I will like an opinion of yours? I haven’t had sex in months cuz the last girl I had got chlamydia n she gave it to me I’m cure now but it kind of scare me to get any infection again :/!!!
thank u so much Bro !!!! I watch this video accidently …. I was looking for online watching pornsites on the phone but somehow I came on this page ….. I am just17 and never had a girlfriend yet…… now I find the reason, why it was so?… many beautiful girls had tried to come closer to me but I neglected them and later regret…..& also I was being more lazy and unsociable day by day ………but there is enough time to improve & be with other preety girls ….yahoooooo!!!! it’s just awesome….. I have changed…… thank u so much again
I find a lot of this hilariously generalised and exaggerated. Porn doesn’t have to be evil. Not does it have to be an addiction, or degrading to women. Yes, porn addiction is a real thing, but just because it is that doesn’t mean that everyone who watches porn is an addict. My husband and I both watch porn together when we want to destress but don’t have time or privacy to have actual sex. It brings us closer.
I did howeve like your analogy with porn and chocolate cake, however I personally found it flawed, I would say that it /is/ like cake. Too much is too much. Like, when you start gaining ninety pounds… But most people have sense enough to stop eating when they don’t want cake anymore.
How about we stop attacking porn and just help those who have real addictions?
^__^
Names travis. I’m a porn addict. Everything you said in your video is true. Luckily for me I’m trying to kick this habit. I’m on day 5. So well see what happens.
Hang in there…ANY addiction an be broken in 21 days
So I have been masturbating, and watching porn since Middle school, and none of this lines up with me. Lost my virginity at the age 15, and never looked back. My wife found my little black book back when we were dating and counted I had, had sex with 53 girls before we got married when I was 25, tested and clean. I still have a very high sex drive I’ve never cheated on a girl and mostly I account that for me watching porn. If I couldn’t line up a girl I simply took care of it myself. When my wife isn’t in the mood I take care of it. She doesn’t care I watch porn knows I did and I have the need to get off at least once a day and if she didn’t do it she knows I took care of it. We have two kids and we both graduated from college and hold full time jobs. So while sometimes this may lead to what you said. It definitely didn’t in my case.
There was never a time when I was younger that someone said hey you want to go to do this, and I said naw I’d rather stay home and crack it out. However normally I did empty the chamber before going out simply because it helped me not think with my dick so much. I didn’t want to have sex with girls I wasn’t into (personality & looks wise) just to get it out.
As for personal fitness I’m play arena football, and minor professional football. My wife is petite and I normally watch porn with big tits which isn’t her at all.
I just don’t want everyone to think this is how its going to be if you take care of your needs. You can be social, have a active sex life, and watch porn everyday. You can be successful, and watch porn seriously everyday.
well… there isn’t coming New chocolate cake flavors every minute, that happens With porn 😀
I just watched this video and I wish I’d seen it 10 years ago. I’m in my early 30’s so I hope it’s not too late to get back what I had in college, which was real relationships with women. Literally found the video at random, then saw all the other stuff you do. Signing up now!
I’ve watched porn since the age of twelve, or whenever I had access to my first PC. I’ve been a virgin till the the age of twenty I wasn’t socially accepted throughout my life even by my teachers *don’t go blaming that on porn* For my first time I was more aroused then porn can ever do and I lasted hours and even over forty years old I can still go for just about that long and numerous times. If porn is strong enough to ruin lives, those people have weak minds IMO. There are much more things in this world that can mess you up bad and it shouldn’t be porn.
No I don’t have any addiction to porn, but i did watch it frequently and at times i can go with out it for months…
Once more…
I am 47 and have used porn to masturbate since being a teenager. Virtually every girl I dated I had sexual issues with — specifically, I could never ejaculate…I never knew why.
I figured out later that masturbation and porn were both problematic. [Though to be honest, partly this problem was a result of my own insecurity, as I would settle for women who were not as attractive as I would have liked (it is a lot easier to flirt and be confident with girls who are “OK”, as opposed to girls who stun you (physically) whereupon you cannot even think (although time and some PUA advice was very helpful in this regard).]
But first masturbation: I don’t deny that there is nothing wrong with masturbation, however I think guys get into the habit of using a “death grip” which makes real sex (or at least coming) problematic. I learned that one requirement in a girl that was mandatory to me was an inordinate interest in sex (sex drive), and a similar interest in always keeping sex active/hot/creative/frequent in the relationship. When I dated women like this, I would pretty much stop masturbating and sex became normal. With girls like this, we would occasionally even mutually masturbate to porn, but I knew that to much of this would bring back the old problem.
However, internet porn is a very significant factor as well…even though I only started using it at 26. It does to some extent, relieve you of the imperative to go out and date…because it is so easy. Even more so since 2005, as very high production values and European “art porn” with 18-22 year old model-caliber girls have taken a big segment of the market. This hedonistic anesthesicization makes normal women less appealing. Couple this with that never ending search for new and improved stimulation that the internet provides, and it is going to cause serious problems. I know these problems, and can discipline myself to curb or stop them when I need to (and I am right now) but I worry about guys in their early 20s or teens now… how can real women (even super hot sexual women) stack up for very long after being subjected to such intense daily arousal since the age of 13 or so that the internet provides?
But if anything, beyond what this article and everyone has already said… remember that masturbating (with that death grip) can cause problems… and internet porn can distort physical ideals to the absurd. Be mindful of these things and stop when you want to date.
Lastly, one more piece of wisdom is to never feel guilty/ashamed about sex (a symptom of our judeo-christian culture), and if you really like sex, make it central to dating women that you establish a sexual compatibility…one where you both are 100% open and interested in doing whatever it takes to keep that part of your relationship strong.
I am pissed this article isn’t dated. I hate that blogs do this.
Anyway, I do agree with a good deal of this. I am 47 and have used porn to masturbate
This is just not true, since I’m a (real) PUA and I do watch porn. I have girls, I even watch (and make) porn with my girls.
This is one boring PUA, he does not even look like Mystery, I do! (And I think I’m better)
But, sometimes times are hard, for example when you lose your job and can’t find a new one due to the crisis. Or your car is broken and you live in the middel of nowhere. ect ect. Or maybe you just don’t want a girl in you life right now. (It happens)
Due to your personal situation and logistics, it can be hard to find a girl. And a man will want to provide for his girl some comfort. I don’t need to, but I want to.
Bottom line YOU NEED MONEY, not for the girl, but gas, food and a comfortable lifestyle. YES!
But you can’t find that job.
Will watching porn make you search less for that job?
Of course not.
One ting is true, I find girls quite boring compared to nice looking pornstars.
Is that my fault?
GIRLS SHOULD LOSEN UP MORE, to adapt to a world with porn. Not I should adapt, it is healy and normal I like porn.
Trust me, I go for sexy slutty porn like girls. I even made my own porno with my girl Crystal. (She’s been in playboy)
Girls DO like BadBoys, I’m a badguy.
Boys DO like badgirls. No bad girls in sight…. ???
Girls should understand that being a whore is healty behaviour. When people where living in wigwams (tribal) man brings meat to wigwam, girl sucks dick. (To put it simple)
It is normal healty behaviour, of course now day’s you can just bring a cheap bottle of wine… Same effect. (Even better “spirit water” LOL)
But it is up to the girls to adapt, and show their slutty side if they want to attract BadBoys like me.
And I can promise her I will treat her just like a porn slut, if that is what she wants… (And they always do)
I don’t even want kids. But maybe if a girl is slutty enough, I will fall into that trap.
So if a girl wants a man and kids it is up to her to be slutty or she wil never find that healty guy, that of course likes porn!
Trust me girls, I find badgirls enough. And If you are not a badgirl YOU WILL BE MISSING OUT!
I need to feel attracted to you, so dress sexy/slutty. Adapt!
I’m the dominant, it is for the girl to adapt not me! This player dude, I can bet I can kiss like 30 woman in the time this wimp does 1 or none. It will take about 5-10 minutes for me.
So the problem is not porn, the problem is girls go to their boring jobs with no slutty appaerance at all.
How will I get attracted?
Fuck that shit, I will find a badgirl that does get my dick up!
I hear girls say they only date BadBoys. (In my case good news)
I say: “I only date badgirls! Couse they are sexy!”
Now if we alrdy are deep into porn how do we stop ourselves from keeping on watching it
Easy delete it and don’t watch, but you don’t really need to cause the autor is wrong a litte bit.
I agree however, if you are ready for a real girl. And want a real girl, you should go out and date and don’t watch porn.
Porn however is ok, when you don’t want a girl right now.
Hii jesse ! I have read ur article and i have found it very helpful. It relates with me exactly . I have been trying to stop watching porn for quite a year now but still i got the problem of ‘CHEAT DAYS’.. Whenever i am alone my mind gives up and i come back to porn.. I have many goals in life but this habit is killing the real me inside and i am deviating from my goals. If u have any advice how should i completely stop watching it then plzz reply..
Is watching porn and masturbating really any worse then excessive protected sex, as they are both done not to reproduce?
very good comments. if possible to maintain in life this things. it will goods for life.
Yes porn is bad…Do you know Mistery the Pick Up Artist?I watch his videos instead of porn.
Hey Jesse, I was wondering if it’s possible to return to the man I was before I’ve seen any pornographic material? I mean am I permanently disabled from seeing it? I want to be at my ultimate sex drive like before when just one suggestive look from a real girl would do it for me. Thanks, any thoughts would be appreciated.
I’m a girl and I really like to watch porn maybe once or twice a week. Iam I a sex addict?
Jesse
I am addicted to porn and have no idea what to do with my life. It seems like life is stuck between work and porn. I dont feel like doing anything specially any fun. And the biggest of all is I never feel that confidence that I am looking good. I feel like I am pimp or something. I am not socially active and a quite guy. What should I do get out of all this. Please help
well, I guess you should start reducing the time you spend in watching porn. Then, consider what’s you’ve been watching and change your self-view from being a sex addict into a man who only wants to update his sexual skills and maybe use those tips in real intercourse! I also advise you to go out and meet real girls and don’t think at sex very often when you talk to any girl. Instead be interested in what she’s to say and be more relaxed! good luck.
thanks, this actually really gave me a new perspective, and I wont be watching any more porn from now on. I’m going to go out and meet new REAL women. Thanks a bunch! 🙂
I don’t see any real advantages to having a real girl over porn. I think the opposite is true. Porn allows me more time to do what I want and not waste time with real girls.
well, how about emotions?!!!!! don’t you like to have someone with whom you would share something very important!!! for instence, making love, feeling loved and satisfied!!!!!!
I think you’re a sex addict but you won’t admit it! because you don’t want to be wrong!!!!!!! it’s not good!
porn is basically free, easy, and quick. Why would anyone want to have kids? that’s a nightmare. you can’t watch porn when there’s kids around. Nah. I think porn is better. You don’t have to settle for fat bitches and waste time and money dating ugly real women
I was surprised by these article , I am going thru all that which you described , lack of motivation , I am 18 , and I decided to stop seeing girls , because of anxiety , and panic attacks around them , which would make me have insomnia, and couldn’t eat , how do I get help , I didn’t know it was bad , but know that I know I really need to stop watching porn
Hello Jesse, extremely awaring. Thanks a lot, your this effort can change someones life forever…Oh yes, I mean it really is a big deal…there is no way to thank you more……just awesome
Hey i just broke up with my gf..
Before her i never watched porn..
But after i was like super depressed, so one of my friend told me to watch porn(it’s work like a distraction for me to stop thinking about her)..
So could you help me out..
CAn you write something about it..?
I really need help.. 🙁 🙁
get a new girl and forget about her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey i just had a bad time…
i’ve broke up with my gf she meant a lot to me…
Before her i’ve never watched porn, but after she left one of my friend said to me to watch porns and he said that i will like it(it’s like a distraction for me from thinking about my gf)
CAN u plzz write something like, “how to get over a break-up” or “how to forget a girl”..??
PLZzzzz i really need help…
hey i just had a bad time…
i’ve broke up with my gf she meant a lot to me…
Before her i’ve never watched porn, but after she left one of my friend said to me to watch porns and he said that i will like it(it’s like a distraction for me from thinking about my gf)
CAN u plzz write something like, “how to get over a break-up” or “how to forget a girl”..??
PLZzzzz i really need help…
I wish I would have known this sooner.
Thank you 🙂
fool, i watch porn for the story, well i don’t watch regular porn. i tend to get it off with a good hentai manga. It presents characters that are both sexy and filled with personality and often deals with themes that are intellectually stimulating and thought provoking.
I always beg to differ when someone says that porn isn’t art and point them to some great hentai mangas.
And about not re-watching porn, i always like to revisit some of my favorite mangas. The best of them are like fine music or a well made movie, it provides a great experience and becomes better every time you experience it.
i am addicted to porn and it is preventing me from having the courage to ask out this girl. what should i do?
read the tao of badass, its worked wonders for me.
good article
Is watching porn below 13 …. right for health ?
certainly not! you’re too young to think of having sex!
However, it’s good to have a good sexual education but not by watching porn!
What is a healthy number of times i should masturbate in a week?
It’s healthy to masturbate– but it will sap your sexual drive a bit (temporarily), and porn will sap it a whole lot
I think the thing is to watch more porn but not to spank it to much
I have been rejected and dumped over 95 times to date and porn doesn’t even work anymore, I will be 18 in a month and I’m a virgin, what is your suggestion? Because I have learned that I just am not a big enough asshole to entice females I like.
Hmm… I I am sure the comparing point is accurate. I love porn, I get into it intensely sporadically then I go out in the world to get all the other facets of my life tended to. No porn session is as good as the way someone can make me feel about myself. Tell you what, my fear is that all those 14 year old watching unmeasured amount of porn and will be disappointed when girls body’s do not make the cut in reality. A lot of unwanted pressure on this side.
sorry dont mess up me i love porn and i cant stop it plz help me
Surely the same arguments could be applied to cake, or sunbathing, or sex itself? Hedonic adaptation and short term thinking applies to any dopamine-releasing activity, and moderation in all things works just as well with porn as with any other pleasurable activity.
I think the objectification argument is more effective regarding the dangers of porn, but you’re not really arguing from a feminist perspective, are you, Mr “instant girlfriend formula”?
A little sun will pull UP your emotions to go get women; watching porn will drive them DOWN. sure, a little porn is fine, but only IF you do NOT care about getting girls in bed.
Another good reason to stop watching porn : they give a distorted and objectified image of women.
Personnally I am much more stimulated by a sex scene in a movie than by a porn vid. I don’t find porn stimulating because the girls in these videos / films are just sextoys for men, they’re passive and artificial, like barbies.
Real girls will not come at you, say hello and then give you a blow-job, they have their own desire as well. And that’s why we like them ! To me, having sex is more about an exchange between 2 persons (or more :p), it’s not about thinking about your own pleasure.
I think it might be important to point that out.
(Sorry for my english, I’m not a native speaker 🙂 )
yep 😛
This does not only apply to straight males! I am female and this convinced me to try to stop watching porn. I love the message, but wish that there was at least some acknowledgment of this. The heteronormativity and gender-bias alienates potential viewers/readers.
Right on, mate. I have to agree… I used to watch a lot of porn and cummed a lot, but I still go out 2,3 times a week. I’m a handsome lad so its not hard to get girls attention but my sex drive was almost zero, it started to even making erections softer. I cant say that I’ve sttoped watching porn, what I do now is jerking off without cumming. And it worked like a charm! I have to say, its strange, almost like the girls felt something that puts them even more into me. Pheromones, maybe? Sexual energy stacked? I dont know. But this DOES work! Cheers and congrats! Nice text 🙂
Wow, that was a lot of commenting, boys.
The real truth about ‘porn’ is that it is as old as the world, and was originally meant to teach people the practical aspects of the sexual arts: the different positions, the different kinds of possible partners, the aethetics of the erotic, etc, all GOOD things in my book, because I don’t subscribe to the puritan religion. ‘Porn’ is hated by puritans because it glorifies and amplifies the sexual, and does so in a way that is utterly (or should be, can be) democratic and popular. It is certainly a shame that good erotic art and performance should be debased by a monocultural, frat-boy aesthetic in this day and age. If only ‘porno’ were more diverse, more imaginative, and less beer- capitalism-driven it could rise to the great standards set by ancient Indian sculptors, Japanese etching and French erotique novel of the 18th century. Call me a snob if you like, but put you’re pussy on my face while you do it. Yeah yeah, tell me something I don’t know, repetition dulls the edge and what was shiny and sparkly becomes ho-hum. Maybe you need to discover you prostate, it’ll give you a new lease on life.
I feel like jerking off now, I’m going to blow semen every where, it’s great – I feel great now.
This video is so helful, I’m going to jerk off a lot more now, because I know it’s natural.
I dont need porn, I’m going to try and jerk off 5 times a day. I know that will be hard, but I’ll keep at it.
Thanks for the great info.
What a fantastic article (haven’t watched the video yet). I am the mother of 4 young men and wife of a fantastic man for 32 years. I once overheard him explain to a 13 year old he “caught” watching porn on a hand-held game at our home and loved what he said: “It is normal to feel the way you feel, but if you choose to watch this keep in mind, this is NEVER going to happen in real life.” My husband has always been against porn for various reasons (not the least of which is he’s a raging feminist), and neither of us has EVER been anything but completely happy in bed. Never, ever bored, so blessed, and your point about genetics is terrific. Excellent article, and I am a behaviorist.
A raging feminist wouldn’t be 100% against porn. They would be 100% against exploitation of females as a lesser being.
One second point – the author seems to think the *girl* is the point of most porn. Sure, she is very important, but studies have repeatedly shown that the *act* is what most men care about – they typically want to see lots of different girls doing the same 1 to 3 things, not one girl doing a bunch of different things. Basically, it’s healthy and normal for anyone to want some variety (humans are not naturally sexually exclusive) and pornography is a place to experience that to some degree without any threat at all to primary partner bonds (even if some women don’t see it that way.)
yes, exactly and that’s what attracts me most. I watch porn because I want to see new acts and new seduction tips.
great article , the part of the ankle .made me laugh in a hysterical way . LOL
I’d like to weigh in on this. I find most porn boring, disgusting, and totally unexciting. What I don’t like is that when you look at a site that gives you a broad cross-section(like a TGP site), you see a lot of similar things that seem to be telling us men what we like. And it seems to be having an impact because you will see real amateur videos which are basically copying shit from mainstream porn.
I’m in a lucky generation because I grew up in a time when we weren’t surrounded by easily accessible internet porn. That meant many of us were able to develop our tastes naturally rather than having the porn industry telling us we crave anal and we want every blowjob to end in a facial.
The funniest thing about this article is that one can say the same thing about having a girlfriend or a wife. Just replace the word “watching porn” with “having predictable pre-approved sex” and you get my point. At its core, to most guys that I know, sex is not what simulating in porn; it’s the female acceptance and submission which is the real fantasy.
Just check out my post on outliers, it’s related to what you’re talking about
I had some sexual partners, in fact I currently have one. And I do watch porn 2 or 3 times a month. Real sex and masturbating to porn are both great. And I know lots of men (and some women) in the same situation.
I NEED some guidance Jesse:
I’ve relapsed twice, and I can’t seem to stay away for more than 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks off though I felt so good about myself. Life seemed fuller. I’m only 16, and I started watching at 14. I started when my friends gave me a hard time about NOT watching porn. They would say “What’s wrong with you? Everyone watches porn.”
Anyway, I want to stop because that sooner is better, especially for someone with a brain that is still developing. Before every relapse I would start with the thought of, what if I just did it once? and from there it would escalate.
I’ve done research and it confuses me: Some sites say porn is OK in moderation, others say its terrible for you, some say that going against the urge to watch will cause problems in the future.
My goal is to live life without having the thought (or urge) to watch porn. To never feel trapped or insecure. I also frequently worry that the damage is irreversible. That when I get a girlfriend or have sex in real life (probably in college), it won’t feel great and special. So here are my questions:
Is this goal of never having the urge to watch porn achievable?
Any suggestions that can help me achieve it?
If I stopped watching porn, and had real sex in college will I find it unsatisfactory? Or does the brain fully recover and heal?
Thanks Jesse!
It’s about time somebody makes that statement ! Well done !!!
Another reason for not watching porn is that it kills your imagination .
And another reason is that , if your for ex. a man the age of 50 with a bold head and a big belly and you watch all these young , beautifull naked girls how can you make sex to your wife who is your age and not as beautifull as all the porn stars ?? You will start thinking ,that you should have a girl like that joung and jucy and you will forget that you are not young and juicy eighter !
And jet another reason is that , because of all the weired stuff that’s on the internet you are going to belive that you should have this kind of sex too ! Most women however do NOT like to be spanked or pissed on or be raped by their grandfather !
And another reason is that the women as well will try to be like this and do things that they don’t enjoy just because they think they should or because their men askes her to do it (because they have seen it in films )!
I’ve seen videos where women go to a school to learn how to squirt because they have seen it in porn films .
That is sooooo sick ! Why can’t we just go with what nature has given us and with what we like to do !
Unfortunately this goes not only for porn , but also for the looks
( cosmetic operations , everyone shaving everywhere ect………) and other things .
Pornographie also can leave men under the impression , that women have masses of orgasms and that they get it very easily too . All women I have spoken to in my life sayed that they do not have orgasms easily and that there are quite some men out there who cannot give you one ( propabely because their mind is set on “reproducing” never mind once that is done )
However I have been thinking what you’ve said for quite some time and I am very pleased that you posted this ! I will share for shure !
Sorry if my statement went as your reply , wasn;t supposed to !
As for your questions ;I don’t think its so bad for you to watch porn from time to time , just try and do not get extreme with it .
Sex will be great and it will be muuuuuch more satisfying than watching porn !! Much much more ! Because there a lot more senses like toutching and beeing toutched like smells and juices and it is also about giving pleasure not only getting ! I am shure you will be just fine once youre in love and have a girlfriend …. then you can just forget about porn and make love !!!!
wow dude, that is such a sad story! Of course it is ok to watch porn! your a 16 year old guy, your just discovering your sexuality. all guys I know watched porn all day when they were 16 and they all turned out great and now have a healthy sexuality. You just have to keep in mind that porn is just a movie and not real and that real sex will propably be very different from what you see in these movies.
They might be articles on the internet that claim that watching porn is bad but I guarantee you that none of them has any scientific support.
Just let yourself go and enjoy yourself!
Watching porn is TERRIBLE for a young guy wanting to get good with women… it will sap out your drive and a young guy will find it easier to watch porn and get sexual pleasure than put in the effort to get real girls. So where’s your scientific support to say otherwise?
For the guys who have girlfriends and still watch porn. You guys aren’t effected because you had the confidence to seek and go after the chick your with. Most guys who watch porn have low self esteem and need to quit the shit and work on themselves (exercise getting clothing tips from chicks in clothing stores, starting casual convos with women). Everyones different.
Ladies if husband is watching porn ladies the problems deeper than porn you better sit him down and give an ultimatum. If I was married my wife would never walk the same way again lol. I personal ly like girls who don’t look like porn models. They have that natural beauty. I see you ladies looking when I’m running by lol Attractive women are everywhere why look at porn or camgirls? Be aggressive its in our male nature to seek real women.
Perfect explanation on why porn is detrimental to ones mental health. I use to watch porn religiously. It brought down my self esteem, loss self respect, and was too scare to leave the house. Now, since I left porn I have more clarity on what is more important in life. I hit the gym instead of hours watching porn and my body is phenomenal. I’m even dating my personal trainer for crying out loud! Stop watching porn! Get out there and make your own! But don’t watch that one either, lmao.
Awesome man ! 😛
Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I to find
It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.
I am hoping to provide one thing back and help others like you aided me.
That is it !!! My 734GB worth of porn movie and pictures deleted and the hard disk formatted. 😯
Awesome… 😮
I knew this was happeming to …i just confirmed it ..thank you
Hi,
this is really helpfull, now i’m trying but kept some cheat days.
which are raking me back.
i will avoid it, soon.
Thank you.
Is this some kind of creepy christian thing? People who get laid don’t need to think about it this much. It comes naturally. If you need to worry this much about it you’re a loser and just need to give up.
Great advice there 🙄
Just like guys who make money don’t think about business.
Or guys who look ripped don’t think about nutrition.
Durrr…
Hi Jesse, my names Connor. I’m 14 years old, I’ve had three relationships which have all failed badly and I’ve been watching porn for about two years maybe below. I’m trying to stop but I can’t. It’s really tempting. Every time I go on the Internet I just have the temptation to watch porn and jerk off to it. I stopped for about two or three days but my brain said do this again. My relationship with my current ex has gone to shit and I can’t even talk to her. She thinks I’m a “dick”. But is that because I watch porn oris that because I have a disorder (I probably should have mentioned that I have a disorder or condition) please tell me how to quit watching it.
Many thanks Connor.
Install focusme.co software on your computer ❗
if your ugly like me, then you have no choice but to watch porn
No you can atleast make an effort to look nice can’t you? Like if you have achne (teen age spots) then you can try and get rid of them, orif your fat for example, you can cut down on foods.
A well thought at experience article, that does address a very REAL issue facing most men between teenage years to – I would say 40s maybe 50s and beyond, your chocolate cake example could be used to desrcibe todays souless on demand internet culture, which I think is the very crux of the porn issue. I beleive we need to start unpluggin from the internet, been beleiving this for 10 years now, and overall I have reduced my net time.
The internet has turned us men into a bunch of spineless know-it-all creeps. We need to get away and be men again. I suffered from online pron addiction however I must add that it was fueled by drug use. Guys, drop the porn SAY NO MORE, for thoise of us old enough to remember how creepy or insanely difficult it was to get a hold of porn, the end result was that because it wasn’t readily available we actually lusted after REAL WOMEN. Todays on demand culture men are sittin at bars looking at thei fuckin phones. Your looking at a device d ouchebag. STOP IT you look like a dork playing a fukin gameboy. Become a man again:
Stop taking your phone out at the bar
Stop takin your phone out at the dinner table
Leanr how to talk to women, put yourself in her spot
Guys, all women want to do is have a great time, they dont want to go out with phone salesmen, and if she pulls oput the phone, she will be very turned on if you tell her you want to go natural and find REAL LIFE more interesting
Great Article, thanks a lot.
Thank for you reflection I erase mi porn collection an begin to live in a date.
Thanks again.
hey thanks for this vid this has really helped but i still feel guilty about watching it
Great!
Jesse, I am of a very young age. 11, almost 12, to be exact. I started having urges when I was really young, and that got me to the question of “Hey, what’s this thing called porn?”. Then I couldn’t stop watching it. I have tried stopping, but the longest I have made without watching is a week. But after seeing this video and reading the paragraphs, I don’t feel the same way about porn. I managed to find a hobby. This changed the way I think. Thanks Jesse.
Great… awesome 😛
Thank you thank you I ve always had men that are addicted to porn n I couldn’t tell them why not to be
I think it actually kill your entire motivation, not only for real girls. You stop interacting with people, avoid everything thats distract you from porn, and you even stop doings things you were supposed to do. Great article
Yep, spot on
I fap daily. I fap over porn. I still bang my girlfriend and think it is the best feeling of my life, when I am in her. I am able to get her to orgasm and after that, ejaculate. I watch porn probably like four times a day and my sexual appetite with my GF, if anything, only rose.
So, what’s the matter with watching porn?
Darwel, this is just for while! Let spent more time watching more and more porn. You won´t be able to have pleasure having sex with her…. Please. Stop man! Im triyng to stop also!
ha this is heavy bruh!
And it mostly makes sense..my social skills are inversely proportional to the porn i watch…
1 month straight#i jus picked myself up
hope i can cut the masturbation tho….thts a real difficult 1 t stop
-jabe
i know, no matter how much i control, i wont be able to stop it..life is no more the same it used to be… 😥
turn to that which is bigger than you could ever be… might I recommend Jesus? even if you dont like the church, treat him as an all-powerful, friendly spirit who only wants you to succeed.
hmmmmm….you must be a good person…thanks for the valuable reply…ill follow this suggestion..maybe this will work out…
Thanks for the tips it really helped me alot and like I watch porn everyday its really hard to get rid of and we all guys have reasons to jack off porn and it maybe be a habit. But to those guys who are older you should go out and find a girl then watching porn. Kids and teens watch porn probably because they “cant find a girlfriend” oor there just desperate to fuck a girl. Well thats a reason why they would watch porn.. but if your older think about it.
Well you are right about that. And like seriously guys think about it if ur old…. jacking off to porn, teens or adults thats just low..
hi i’m a Muslim guy and i live in a islamic country,in our society (belive or not!) its almost illegal to have sex before marriage and i dont want to marry for ten years later so what i must do dear jesse? i’m really really tired of porn but for guys like me in arabic countries its a way to release the pressure
Another reason porn is a bad idea…
Each time you cum you shorten your lifespan a tiny bit (sperm is expensive genetic material in terms of your body’s resources and ejaculating and having to rebuild it shortens telemeres – thus lifespan). If you’re going to ejaculate do it with a real girl – shortening your lifespan is more justifiable with real sex.
And for the advanced… sleeping with too many women brings up some of the same issues if you aren’t careful. I’m talking hundreds here.
sorry dude its bullshit there is not any problem whit sperms! don’t talk like that if you dont have any resource
I need advice. I’m a 19 year old girl and as a child, i was severely sexually abused and exploited by several men. For the longest time, i refused to trust men and to believe that they could love and respect a woman. The fact that women are so sexualized, demeaned and disrespected has added to that. After several abusive relationships, i began to heal from my past. A year ago, i finally let an amazing man into my heart. He earned my love and trust. But i found out he watches porn. This highly upsets me and has made me once again doubt men. I just dont see how men can watch women be exploited like that. When i told him of my fears, he said he would stop and has been trying to stop because he doesnt like watching the porn…just the outcome. He said he had stopped when he was 16 but then when he started college, he started again and wants to stop again. He’s always been honest. i even remember him telling me that yes, he thinks some girls are hot but to him, i am beautiful which means so much more than just being hot. I so badly want to trust him but my instincts from the abuse i suffered are causing me to be very untrusting which is leading me to be a bit controlling and jealous lately. From a males perspective, what should i do? Should i trust him? Will he really be able to stop? How can i open up to him about my jealousy/controlling thats caused from past abuse without scaring or chasing him away? Weve always been able to work out issues and disagreements but this one is a really big one.
If you want him to stop watching porn, you’re going to have a really bad time. Literally all guys watch porn. You have to realize, that porn for us is like reading romantic fiction for you, women. We just don’t feel it for those chicks on screen – we want to get off quickly and to look at boobs. That’s all. For everything else, he has you, so as long as he’s emotionally attached to you, let him watch his porn.
Hi
I am a real old guy in my late seventies ,
enjoyed porn when it was only in print and
pictures,I go to Thailand every year , some of the
women I meet are beautiful, but I can not even
get it up.don’t even bother to slap the old monkey when I
am there or watch porn . you have all these fantasy with with what you are going to do when you get there.but it does not turn you on that much.and yet when I come home and watch some good porn I can slap the old monkey two or three times a week. Thailand is just a place to hold a women for a night and not be so damn lonely.
I hope u guys have good porn stache’s because the longer you watch porn.like any addiction over time you need some pretty strange shit to turn you on. Have a good one.
Pretty cool advice 🙂 The part of going into stranger things is VERY real, been there, done that… I’ve always liked bestiality and shemales, then I went into SM… Later came watersports and now scat. And i brought all those into my personal life, except for scat (till now) 🙄
You’re all so gullible. I’ve been watching porn since I was a teenager. My motivation toward finding a girl has never changed. But sex is not my main motivator. I find pleasure in stimulating conversation, a warm or flirty smile, holding hands and the pleasure of knowing a girl is interested in me. When I’m with a girl, I like the romance, the foreplay and enjoy the moment. Porn hasn’t negatively influenced my sexual manners. I may watch certain types of porn that I would never consider doing with a girl, either out of respect for her or myself.
Not to mention, I find myself bored of looking at perfect 10s and I particularly like more plain girls. They bring more to the table and aren’t so shallow. They have realistic desires and personalities that make relationships so much more enjoyable.
to hell with you porn!
I’m a champion! 🙂
Thank you so much Jesse. This changed my life. I am very grateful. Thank you.
😉
I watch porn everyday, How can I undo those effects or consecuences, what should I do to not to have hedonic adaptation anymore? What can I do to start being more social? And what can I do to reverse all the effects that porn has given me? Please help me
Your brain can return to normal after a few months… check out the site for the free tips man!
I was hoping to find some kind of relief to why married men masterbate to porn. I am one of those wives where it has ruined our marriage because it makes me feel like I am not adequate to fullfill his needs,wants and desires. I am lucky if he even wants to have sex with me but he never does and the excuses start and I am wondering what that mind play is for him coosing porn over your own wife? It’s something that has just made me feel so unloved and left feeling lonely knowing my husband has chosen this choice of masterbation over me is really hard to deal with. So the motivation part ..there is no motivation to initiate sex cause his brain is used to porn and masterbation.
Thanks!
Porn didn’t ruin your relationship. Other things are causing problems. For instance, men are turned on visually and maybe he needs to see you fit and in sexy clothes to get turned on. That’s just one thing for instance– I’m not a relationship counselor, but your man isn’t being turned on sexually by you for one reason or another. In addition, he needs to stop watching porn, you can talk to him about it and put on a blocker like focusme.co
thanks i will try to stop watch porn
😉
Hello everyone, including Jessie….I wanted to share a little research that I did about the effect of porn on memory, I saved it as I found it to be profound. This seems to jive directly what Indian spiritual thinking believes on the topic, from my understanding. Generally Indian thinking values seminal fluid as fundamental to healthy living, not to be wasted. This information is also validated by my own experiences as I have found myself dazed and missing memories which should have been easy to recall. The next day after such activities (I can’t even get myself to mention them, it feels so shameful!) can be particularly difficult. I may have more references in future as this is a good discussion, very enlightening, and could save a lot of people (possibly more of the male persuasion judging by above comments, especially the females) a lot of hassles and difficulties in life. It is definitely food for thought and I want to give Jessie due credit for opening what may be considered by some to be a taboo or difficult subject to discuss – thanks Jessie! Kudos to you, friend!
Here is the information promised…(quoted directly, spelling mistakes and all! LOL)….
Question: effects of masturbation on human memory. Best answer….
Source:
http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic61692.html
seektofind2 wrote:
Hi. I’ve stimulated myself since I was 12/13 and now I’m almost 20. I haven’t had a specific patter though it was many times a day in the earlier years. Then I would stop for awhile and go back to it. As of a year or so now I’ve been trying to quit but have had little success. It’s affecting my life and with the college work I’m finding this extremely difficult. I can’t focus on my work, I can’t remember things, and the easiest of tasks have become extremely hard. I exercise regularly and it doesn’t help. In fact I heard that it’s bad to masturbate and exercise.
I really need to stop damaging my body and find a way to fix what I’ve done. How bad is the damage from what I’ve explained? What should my diet be? What can I do? I hate this addiction and want it to go away! My life is in ruins and falling apart more and more each day b/c of it. 🙁
That’s a testimonial worth thinking about! To the guys I would say stop doing this useless activity and try to follow the good advice so graciously provided by Jessie in different formats above and in his video.
Neil. 🙂
Jesse, you’re spot on and I’m really thankful that I came across your video. 35 years of this habit and what has it gotten me? A lot of pain and a realization that I am not as socially adept with females as I perhaps should be or would like to be.Once again, I am in the process of transforming myself now and good things always seem to happen to me when I make an effort. I want this to be the last time I give this bad habit up and once again I think I feel more empowered, stronger, more attractive and more socially able. I’ve just got to believe in that, sometimes I seem to forget somehow! Thanks for speaking out about this important topic. It helps to realize that you are not the only one adapting to this post -’95 environment, others are experiencing the same pain and shame, and to know that masturbation is very maladaptive behaviour that holds us back in many ways. Best regards, neil.
Exactly, well put !!
Great insight! Very interesting and makes a lot of sense..
What is your opinion on masturbation without porn? Is fantasising over beautiful/sexy women in your head while you get your self off a problem too?
wat can be period gap between mastrubations for man
I seem to be having problems posting my comments. Hopefully the first 1 went through Jessie.
This topic has been pounded to death all throughout the community over the last 9 months with all these no-fap challenges 🙂
Masturbation however, is difficult to stop doing. As a guy who regularly gets laid and have a girlfriend, I can attest to this.
hi;
If a person watching porn videos for almost 8 months & then realize that what he is doing can he may become father or not
Great info – Backsliding sucks
Here I was thinking that part of enjoying porn was seeing different women! Hopefully together! I think your talking about a very small percentage of people who have issues.
Your basically saying if you watch porn your not going to be as successful or catch the biggest fish in your pond? Nonsense, utter nonsense. There is no medical backing to what your saying, and you talked a lot about genes and genetics. Watching porn is not in our genes.
Kane: Keep going to the gym, if you asked a girl out more than twice and she is busy she doesn’t want to go out with you.
Ricky: Say you have 2 years left, not four semesters. You simplify time in writing. You should be able to jerk off and screw your girlfriend.
The jerk off who said having a orgasm is bad for you: Stupid ass. Looking at breasts for 10-15 minutes a day reduces stress, as well as masturbating. In fact it’s healthy to pop one off because the sperm gets old, so if your actually trying to have a baby you made be shooting some dead sperm.
Hey, Jesse I wanna stop porn but I’m scared of all the Health risk I’m finding on the internet of not ejaculating. Do you have any advice? 😆
Taylor, you can still masturbate, just use your imagination to the REAL girls you’ve seen
I’m a shy person and for years I put my lack of a girlfriend down to being overweight and shy. Lack of motivation and energy to get fit and lack of testosterone and motivation to go out in the evenings or even talk to girls that I met during the day.
I didn’t even think porn was the cause until I accidently typed in google (does femdom porn make men weak)lol. Would there be any way to put sites like this on porn search engines to warn men who don’t realise they have a problem?
Thanks for this video. It really gave me great awareness that watching porn is a deadly trap that prevents me from getting the real girls! 😀
Exellent info for really people in trouble , those who cant or can will be aware what porn ia all about . Thank you for reseach
Your way of writing the article is very funny and interesting lol… And i agree with your words bro…
I sometimes jerk off by watching sexy bikini girls on youtube, is that same like watching porn and MB…..? 😥
Why you should continue? hehe 👿
randporn delivers you more than 17.000 free porn videos
thnks bro coz now i realize how pornograph affect a person.i wont look on them for the rest of my life
Thank you soooo much.
Hai
I’m a female who watches porn videos one time accidently, before that I don’t have clear idea about what is sex exactly? till my 21 years, but the video which totally changes my view towards sex, after that I started searching different different porn sites and started watching porn videos for 1 month past, really that videos and actres made me wet, I really feel a drain o my *****, But I loving it, Now I have a doubt wheather watching porn vdeos really make any side effects and I just happen to see your site, It is totally true, Now I know how to behave while having sex but I’m not sure about my future partner’s action, maybe I’m watching too many videos I may or maynot expect the good and mind blowing happenings of what I watched, but he may or maynot fulfill my ******. Maybe I will be unsatisfied. Let’s spread to those guys good job
Hi I was just wondering what if your girlfriend sends you nude photos of herself? Would that be considered porn or is that okay to use every now and then?
It’s GREAT to masturbate to the REAL girls in your life
I want to stop watching porn but thats not so easy i put on tv hot girls i put on radio sexy sound like ooow yea like in porn so how can i stop thinking about porn ??
While I agree somewhat with some of your points, I feel like you are assuming thy everyone responds to everything in he same way, I have watched more porn than anybody I know, by far. Way by far.im talking like hours a day sometimes. Sometimes I watch porn with girls. And I have a very fulfilling sex life and enough self control to motivate myself no matter how many videos I see. Yes hedonic adaptation is a real thing, but if I watch CSI everyday, am I going to be completely I shocked if I ever happen across a murder scene? No. I think porn, like all other things, Is only good in moderation. And only if its good for you.
So you watch porn for HOURS a day sometimes– couldn’t that time be much better spent meeting women, or focusing on your relationships? You say it’s not holding you back- but any activity that takes up that much of your time IS a drain on resources.
Women arent attracted to me though. Its as if to them, I don’t exist
Jesse I just want to say thank you. This video has really opened my eyes in so many ways. I now realize that my porn habits weren’t just hurting me but all the people around me as well. You see I have been addicted to porn for 7 years and im a college student with only 4 semesters left until I graduate with my Management degree. I have also never had a gf in my life and all this time I thought that the reason why was because of the women and I had used that as an excuse for my porn habits. But now I see that it wasn’t the women’s fault but it was my own for letting myself be dragged by this addiction and even though I have only read your article today I believe that this info will help me in the long run and help me with my life. So now from this day forward I promise you that I will chance my habits and leave porn alone for the rest of my life thanks and god bless you and the work you are doing 🙂
Awesome Ricky, keep me updated
So why is it that I watch the same porn girls over and over and only watch these porn girls?
Not all guys are the same as what you described.
These same porn girls never get old for me.
HI, good article out of experince…
This is for real. I learned my husband had a porn problem because he started rejecting BJ s. I turned up the heat and got some lingere only to be told I had no underwear on. Heartbroken. And for you who are wondering I’m as hot as I ever was and confident in my body. This is slowly destroying our marriage. Avoid it all together.
Great job…
Its true and i have experienced it. But getting out of this trap is tough.Most of the guys will agree to it. How to get out of pornography??
Most guys fall into this trap and don’t want to get out; that’s great for YOU and guys willing to take action, as you have very LITTLE COMPETITION !! 😛
Jesse I’m a webcam girl because I love my body and love to masturbate so I figured why not make money doing what I love 🙂 but during my off time I like watching porn/ other webcams when i masturbate off camera, is this behavior as disruptive for women? I have a very healthy sex life and am very social with wonderful friends, could that all change? Or would you say that a little porn here and there for a healthy, balanced individual is not so damaging? I think most things in moderation are not so harmful, I feel it’s only when people go to far can things get dangerous…
I think porn has an opposite but sometimes equally undesirable effect on women. I think when females masturbate it makes us more sexual and increases our sex drive. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your goals and situation. I think in your case maybe it’s okay since you make a living out of it and that’s what makes you happy then you would want to keep your drive fairly high. If you start to feel unhappy, realize that a lot of the validation that makes us feel good and confident in the long term comes from emotional relationships with men and not sexual ones(even though we tend to combine sex and emotions whereas men are better at separating the two), sometimes it’s just easier to take a break and be less sexual. It forces you to kind of look elsewhere for stimulus and validation and fun and you learn to find a new side to yourself 🙂
Yes I agree with you. The more I masturbate on and off camera the more sexually active I find myself wanting to be with my boyfriend. I have gone for months without sexual stimulation (before I started webcaming and before I met my boyfriend) and it almost becomes normal, as if you could care less weather you have sex or not 🙁 I personally do not like the feeling of no sex drive. I also don’t like the feeling of having an out of control sex drive, like if I don’t get off I might die! Lol I have been at both ends of the spectrum and prefer to find balance 🙂
for those who know of tumblr and the certain things that are posted (short porn clips and pictures ) does that count as watching porn in anyway.
For me watching porn killed everything. My sex drive, my motivation, my desire to be with real women, my social life. It even killed my erections as i was not aroused when with a real girl, needed lots of stimulation and every time went soft before getting to sex.
Been off porn now for 4 months, Only masturbated a few times and now have finally lost my virginity at age 23 and now am far more assertive and flirty with girls.
Arousal/Libido is still not 100% but its getting there.
you make some good points but my question is how are you suppost to stop watching porn and meet real women if women dont find you attractive. i have only ever had one relationship it was long distance, lasted 4 months i saw her 3 times and she hated me and messed me about since then i havent had a girlfriend for nearly 9 years and porn is all i have. i cant get women. im not an attractive ‘hot’ guy that women fancy!! how am i suppost to go out and meet women whan women dont give me a second look?? ANY on them..i would love to stop watching porn and meet real women but that seems impossible.
There r so many guys, who r nt “handsome” yet they have sexy girls as their gfs…get off ur butt…..looks only matter upto 30-40 %, rest 60% r ur communication, not being needy,sense of humor, confidence, ur attitude, ur assertiveness…theway u dress….etc……
if u believe that since u r nt hot guy gals don’t look for u n keep watching porn as an excuse for that, think of ur confidence bro…….
Jesse its really a good experience to read it. and definitely it will help to stop watching pornography. do you have more stuff like that or somehow we can expand this literature like pornography sites (adult finder) i think if we try to make it large positively it will more fruitful to all of us. 😛
I am convinced!! Lets see if I am successful to stop watching it. Thanks bro. Your entire website rocks. Its bible for me. lol.
Its in my bookmarks. You are the Best Jesse.
Good to look it realty does sex drive to better
This is hugely important. There was a really good TED talk about this, video is on youtube. It really does sap your sex drive. More men need to know about this.
Do you feel that nude art has the same effect as porn? I’m a graphic artist and I’ve done numerous artistic nudes (matisian/abstract style, mostly because i’m not good at realism) from photos of models. Interesting presentation, btw.
Bro.. art is art ! 😈 😛
Well isn’t it obvious that porn is bad for you? Also masturbation is bad for you for all the guys out there, ESPECIALLY when you go to the extreme and release semen. STOP masturbating, watching, porn and find better stuff to do in life to substitute that time. Don’t think that there is nothing else to do because there always is! GUYS that have watched porn have corrupted there mind how sex really looks like because the people in the video go to the extreme and are not realistic. Sex should be taken calmly and should be a relaxation rather than something that hurts and is extreme/ crazy. TEENS SHOULD TRY TO AVOID RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS, this would help to avoid sex. What I do is: I try to avoid talking to girls to the most I can which is actually not that hard…
shut the hell up fool
Is that your excuse for not talking to girls ? you live a sad life man talking , making friends , getting into relationships its part of life dont deny yourself of basic social needs. as a human you are a social being
excellent !!! what you said is really get me out of this bad habit.
Awesome ben 😛
Hello Jesse, I have a confession to make. It’s not just men who get sucked into porn. I am a female who watched porn daily for 5 years and I couldn’t get enough. Society seems to think this is a male problem only – it isn’t! I started because I wasn’t getting what I needed from my husband, I’ll have sex every day if I can and he would be happy not touching for WEEKS!!!! It was killing me so I used porn to fill the void. Once it got hold of me I couldn’t stop and I had to watch more and more hardcore material to get my “fix”. I made a decision to stop one day when I realized I was crying because although I was fulfilling my physical need, it was empty and lonely. I also found out my husband was with another woman and that was the reason he wasn’t into the physical aspect of our marriage. The porn allowed me to ignore the real problem and my advice is DON’T because it just post-poned the inevitable. I got divorced and have a new boyfriend who is wonderful physically, mentally and emotinally and the best part is…..I haven’t watched porn in a year!!!! 😉
Great story Vamp, thanks for sharing ! It’s a pretty common story actually!
what about people like me, I don’t want to have children, don’t want to have a relationship with a women (for the moment I want to spend my life without a relationship), but I find the women’s body attractive, and according to my sex experiences, having sex is not amazing and I find more pleasure watching it (maybe my experiences have not been very good and not have been many to really prove it), I watch porn often, but I go to the gym I have been in the gym for 2 years, eat healthy and have a strong social group but I have not socialized in a lot of time because I realized that I don’t like people in general (found the stupid, or I get bored (lack of humility from me with that issue)).
So I think that the desription in this video doesn’t work for me maybe it works in general. I agree with you but I think that you must consider that if someone has an ideological thought about some of the exposed issues it may not be true for them.
Yeah, AMM, there’s always exceptions– like if you have no interest in relationships, porn can substitute. However, I think you can still have a lot of fun socializing and meeting people, and porn will sap your willpower for healthy activities that bring happiness. Even if you don’t want a relationship.
Thank you Jesse for this article!
I’ve heard about that many times before, so 3 weeks ago I finally stopped watching porn and also jerking off.
Strangely it wasn’t difficult, because I don’t have this drive anymore that I had few years ago. Getting an erection has become very difficult for me, even if I seduce really stunning girls, I need to take some pills to get him hard. So I hope it’s from watching to much porn. Because even porn doesn’t erect me that much, I need to watch about 10 different videos, girls and fantasies to get really turned on. Seeing just a naked girl doesn’t do anything to me. This is really sad and I’m only in my 20ties :/
The only thing that really motivates me is Beauty! I love beautiful faces of woman, I don’t feel that sex drive, I feel the drive to seduce this beautiful creature. That’s the only reason I still do approaches.
So I see I got a big problem and that’s why today I will stop watching any porn. This time I will still masturbate at least every second day, cause I think you need to train your muscle. I hope it will help.
BUT I got another question: What about watching beautiful woman? I got many facebook groups and on instagram and weheartit I see so many really pretty faces every day. Will my brain also get used to that? Will my standards grow and will it get harder for me to feel this drive to real world Beauties? Do you think it’s better to not look at those pictures every day? Or is it totally different?
BK, 3 weeks is a great start! Don’t worry about relapses, just get back on the path. Looking at beautiful girls on the Internet is alright… the only danger with that is more wasting time on the computer, and possibly being tempted back into watching movies.
I’m female. Years ago, when I was a teenager, I took a summer job oversees. A friend gave me a romance novel to read while I was there. I had no other access to anything English so I read and reread the romance novel several times over. I began to sexually obsess over the male character who was handsome & viral. I found this character so appealing. He was very real to me and I preferred this fictional character to anyone I met that summer. Result was that while I had lots of opportunities to meet boys, I resisted them because my romance novel character was so perfect. No one in real life could compete. Now with so many men pouring their time into porn, I see a lethargy in their behaviour. They seem almost adrogenous to me. Sad. Like them I fell under a spell that hypnotized me all summer. I learned my lesson that summer and changed my ways. Today I don’t spend alot of time in fantasy. I limit my use of TV, internet, don’t watch porn, don’t read romance novels. Spend lots of time in nature, hiking. Work out in the gym. I also carefully monitor foods that I eat. Limit sugar & salt and food tastes just as good after a while. Same with you guys and porn. Limit or stop it and you’ll see us females in a new light.
i just jerked off to this article
Great thanks jesse…. i was almost like addict watching everyday porn and as u said there are many side effect for that i had less desire to meet and relate with chicks. burn all the porns and lets go and meet real chicks
sometimes is good but addiction is really a slow poison………….according to me it also decreases your manliness.
That makes alot of sense very interesting
You the man Jesse! When I clicked on this article I was really expecting to hear alot of bullshit I can quickly dismiss, but you got right to the money quick! I was that guy that built up a huge porn collection outta nowhere, for no reason. I know my girlfriend wasnt too fond of it. And just like you said, after I had all that porn, I rarely ever went to look at it, I just liked knowing it was there. Then one day a couple months ago my hard drive crashed and I lost ALL the porn, and guess what? I survived! I havent even thought about trying to replace anything. I know Im better off without it. And I know my girlfriend hates knowing that I can temporarily satisfy myself without her, so I think the no porn thing will help me out alot. I’ll give it a try. It wont be easy, but Im about to be 25 and feel like I need to make a few changes. Ima give up weed (for at least a year) and I think Ill add porn to the list. Thanks Jesse!!
Yeah- getting rid of your porn collection can feel like a weight off your shoulders 🙂 You’ll feel lighter, more clean, and you won’t miss it.
well well jessie!!! when all is said and done you are the man! love your insight very well researched and explained.i watch porn for my own reasons.firstly i produce porn videos for educational purposes to help guys “break the wall”.so many guys are fearful of approaching real life women,pornography helps wire their brains and have that killer “no guts no glory” stamina.tantra yoga encourages watching porn for this particular reason.the problem might be that guys watch the wrong type of porn.secondly porn is art,erotic art,there is a challenge on creativity.if you end up addicted then the problem lies squarely with your own mental fabrication.sit back,relax watch people fucking its a satisfying natural flow of life energy.it brings you closer to the laws of the universe,a very deep kind of meditation in a world dominated by sex.how you jerk off is entirely your own business.thank you very much.love&respect
😀 Jesse Your Are Sooo Right Bro,Guys Have It TOO Easy Nowadays,Easy Access To Porn,Easy Access To The Internet,Instead Of Cooking They Order,Or Go Out,
Guys Prefer Taking A Car To Work Then Walk Or Bike Ride ,Why??? Because Its EASIER,The Problem With That Is ,If You Have Everything Too Easy,When You Face Challenges Down The Road ,We Tend To Get Lazy And Give Up Because It Requires Time And Effort,That`s The Price We Pay When We Make Things Alittle Too Easy For Ourselves
As biological beings, we want to conserve time and we want to conserve energy. Porn is very seductive in that way. It sucks you in. But in the long term, it has negative consequences, just like everything “easy” in life, like fast food calories.
We should teatch our children , that the easiest way is not always the best and that you have to try many times to achieve something
fist days whitout porn is hard man! I fell very tired, trully
It will be hard at first. You very may relapse as well, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just keep pushing through the initial bad emotions or withdrawal and you’ll eventually pull through and not miss it.
u did nice…!! thnxx
Hey Jesse wats up im all the way from Africa and love most of your articles. i always knew there are negative consequences of watching porn for many guys but i have been struggling to know what is the proper definition of porn. Is watching sex scenes in movies considered watching porn according to your perspective?
Sex scenes in movies? No, I wouldn’t consider that porn. I wouldn’t even consider adult movies with story lines like “Pirates” or “Tatiana” to be negative http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/3-female-friendly-adult-films-women-will-love/
The problem comes in when you can switch between scenes, fantasies, and girls in a matter of seconds, to having unlimited stimulation and unlimited variety at your finger tips.
Hey Jesse, thanks for putting up this video and all other stuff you are sharing. As always, I am interested in your view on things and I was anxious to hear this one as I watch porn on a daily basis.
Sorry but perhaps I am the black swan here..
Porn adds to my lively sex-life. I have been in 3 serious long-term relationships since my 18th and had more women in bed than I can remember to count them. Women fascinate me and that’s the reason I follow you and some other guys who have useful things to share. Porn did not kill anything for me. It made me a better partner in bed and even more confident than is good for me 😉
The last 6 months I enjoyed a period in my life as a bachelor. I had several very sexy and awesome looking women. My friends were amazed I pulled it all off. At one point I was dating 6 women from the age of 26 up to 50 at the same time and watched porn daily.
My mindset maybe a little different as the ‘average’ guy. Porn is fantasy and how I see the future. Real life is what I pray for and live to the fullest every day, again and again and again. Two worlds, two different emotional settings.
Maybe there is some kind of modus between your and mine experience that we yet have to discover.
Keep up the great work!
A fellow admirer from Europe
That’s cool you can fit porn into an active and real sex life. There will always be exceptions and areas of gray, and it sounds like you’re that exception. But I’d say for at least 90% of guys – if not 99% of guys – porn is holding them back in their real sex lives by creating a motivation problem.
I would def agree to this. My ex bf admittedly said he preferred his hands over me because it was way more convenient, like he doesnt have to drive all the way to see me anymore. It’s sad, but oh well.
❓ i just can’t stop thinking about porn its really hard to stop the longest i went was about 2 wks….ps good job
its a great job sir, all religion strictly banned these activities
I was a porn addict for about 10 years and I can only say that Jessie is right in all that he says, he is even more right than you may think! Porn’s biggest danger is that it can easily change into addiction and you may not be even aware of that at the beginning. When it becomes addiction it will not only destroy all your success with women but also will destroy you in all other areas of your life and leave you feeling dumb like shit. And then it’s very very hard to stop.
Jessie, you are only scratching the surface of the problem here – when you search for porn addiction on the web you will find web sites which deal specifically with that and explain in detail how the human brain goes crazy with the modern porn stimuli and why it is so different from pre-internet porn. Your advice is spot on for most people here but if anyone feels they are in a more serious condition they can search the other sites and have their eyes opened to what and why it is happening and how to stop.
The brain gets literally damaged by internet porn as we know today and it’s really important to stop all porn – even small amounts can be dangerous and amount to bigger problems and lost opportunities later on. And take it seriously, I’ve been there, I got into debts, lost contact with friends, neglected my relationship and was thinking about committing suicide. Please, don’t go there!
Let’s face it – how many men would honestly say they watch porn because they chose to? We watch porn because we can’t achieve the real thing for some reason. Porn site owners most often know about detrimental effect of porn and they don’t want our happiness. They want to make money on us or to make our brains dumb. And they live on our frustrations and inability to get what we are really after. If they wanted our happiness they would teach us how to get real women instead of contaminating us with addictive junk.
There is a great British film about the problem: “Shame”. By reading opinions I can see that many people don’t understand it. But based on my experience I can tell you it’s spot on – the dumb state of mind, indifference to the outer world and the people around you – even the loved ones – is what eventually happens to a hard porn watcher.
Now I’m off porn completely and after so many years I have to literally learn how to live again normally and it’s a great world out there! Clarity of mind, motivation, good feeling are what was absent earlier. And now an orgasm with a woman can leave me feeling calm, empowered and satisfied – this is 100% opposite of orgasming to porn.
Having said that, I believe it is possible to use porn in a positive way. Back when I was in my late teens before my first real sex I used to look at some softcore porn photos on the internet – but that was pretty rare since I only had access to internet at school. I enjoyed looking at the beauty of naked women and was happy to imagine what it would be to feel like with a woman like that. I felt empowered by those short glimpses of sexuality. Also, occasional porn watching with a girlfriend can be fun, too. But we have to be extremely careful with this because there’s a very fine line between what we think as safe porn and what can become dangerous, so I don’t recommend it unless you really know what you are doing. I think when porn is used only with the intention of making real sex better then it can be good for us. But then I don’t think any prolonged porn-watching would fulfill that purpose.
Anyway, thanks for the video, your words contain real gems of wisdom – however, I think some men may not realize that!
Epic.
In addition, even if you’re NOT addicted so deeply but just a “casual watcher”, porn will still destroy much of your general motivation. In all cases, it’s good policy to completely obliterate it.
yeah, but what does it mean WHEN…
You have a REAL girl coming over. But, You have
to watch porn to get ready for her?!
Your comment was really inspiring, thank you for that
Jesse,
Thank you very much for your good message. Many youth waste their time on seeing porn. Your advice is very very very valuable.
Particularly when you’re young, you’ll be more susceptible to the de-motivating effets as your brain is still developing. Just like it’s far easier to get hooked on alcohol or cigarettes when you start the bad habit early in life.
Porn made it almost impossible to ejaculate with real girls, whereas in the past I would ejaculate EASILY.
Thank god I stopped watching porn..
Jesse, seems to make a lot of sense to me. You’ve explained it in a very analytical way, and its changed how I think of porn.
sexually frustrated guys,guys who are lonely and horny and men who are unmarried and don`t get the real thing are addicted to porn.I hate porn, people catch you they will think you are a pervert and lowlife and you feel guilty and ashamed.And don`t forget GOD is watching you and judging you.
Jacob… there’s no reason to feel ashamed, guilty. That kind of guilt and shame about sex will tend to spill into other areas of your life where you don’t want guilt or shame. Also, you shouldn’t care about what other people think- you should quit porn for yourself, not to please other people. It’s my belief pretty much all guys are “perverts”, even your grandpa would love to bang the barely legal 18 yo hottie if he could get away with it.
This was an excellent video…a couple of great takeaways and a fantastic grandma’s cake metaphor!
Nice job!
John McLean
Man, give me a tip, something, please, i want to stop watching porn right now!!
Bro, e1 i hd same prblm, i thought i couldn’t quit watching porn, 1 fine day on Youtube i accidentally watched a video of “Shelley lubben” an ex porn star’s story..it was darn touching.. she reveals the secrets of porn industry, & also she is nw rescuing othr porn stars…watch that video ur perspective about porn will change and u will definitely quit if u hv 10% of respect towards women. I hate porn… they exploit women bro.. its coz of ppl like us only they hv been exploited… also watch dead pornstars video on youtube.. u ll realise most of them r dead coz of suicide, drug overdose & HIV+…..
The only reason to watch porn besides the obvious is to learn dirty talk. DON’T LISTEN TO THE GUYS. They’re lame. Listen to the girls – they are saying what they wish was being said to them!
And the article is spot on.
And to my quote above – it is almost frustrating seeing how lame the guys and sex is. When we watch porn my girlfriend comments how lame the guys are. Very few know how to talk to and fuck their woman like a dirty slut. I’d like my dick to be an inch bigger but I wouldn’t trade it for how LAME they are.
Jesse is spot on with his sex advice. Look up his posts on rough sex and dirty talk they are the real truth.
It is all about the feeling you create!
Yeah, there’s some girls that do good dirty talk, but it’s much faster and efficient to learn how to dirty talk from sites that specialize in teaching it, or right here on sed sci.
Good video dude never thought of it like that but I know what your saying. Personally not a big porn watcher I prefer going out meeting real women and the more you do it the better you get at it, where as I have friends who only watch porn and have never had a girl
Great !
Very good video.
THE GIRLS:
They are not real.
You can not have them.
They are not your friends.
They cannot love you back.
They do not care about you.
They are not worth any of your time.
They do not move you forward, they move you backward.
THE LIMBIC BRAIN:
It does not know time.
It has no mind.
It has no thought.
It does not understand logic.
It only wants pleasure.
It gives you E.D.
IT ROBS YOU OF EVERYTHING.
R.W.O – Real Women Only.
Stellar. 🙂
THE GIRLS:
They are not real.
You can not have them.
They are not your friends.
They cannot love you back.
They do not care about you.
They are not worth any of your time.
They do not move you forward, they move you backward.
— Is this about pixelbabes or real life women? It seems to apply to BOTH in my long experience.
MGTOW
The real girls you know treat you that way because you’re not being real with them. They are mirroring you because of the way you look at or act around them. It’s their defence when there being creeped out by you when you look at them like their objects on a computer screen. So when you quit the porn you WILL start to learn that women have endless depth that you can never learn watching a flat screen. Just quit the porn, be patient and you’ll learn everyday.
yea u are right i have been a caveman who wasted his days in the fools of porn it really helped thx
Yeeees ! 😉
I can’t get enough of this thread!!!! The best porn star… is not the porn star! The hottest thing is the girl you meet and find attractive and interested exploring her sexuality with you. That’s why women should watch porn! Explore what tittalates them!
VERY TRUE. WATCHING PORN SETS THE STANDARDS WAY TOO HIGH FOR THE WOMEN THAT YOU SEE EVERYDAY IN YOUR HOMETOWN.THEY DONT LOOK HOT(OF COURSE BECAUSE THEIR WEARING CLOTHES)….ANYWAY–SINCE I STOPPED WATCHING PORN FOR JUST 3 SHORT WEEKS- NOW MY BRAIN HAS CHANGED–PRACTICALLY EVERY WOMAN I SEE IN OUR TOWN-I WANNA BANG THEM VERY BADLY.NOW MY QUESTION IS: HOW MUCH MASTURBATION IS TOO MUCH- IF I MASTURBATE TO THESE MENTAL PHOTOGRAPHS OF THESE HOT WOMEN IN MY HOMETOWN?
Great for cutting out porn! And the changes your experiencing are very beneficial. imaginative masturbation to the hometown hotties is alright, until you feel it’s sapping out your sex drive. Once a day, to let out pent-up energy, is probably alright if you’re a young guy.
Great vid 🙂
You sound a lot like Saul Hudson!
Guns N Roses? 😯
good vidio
This was an excellent treatise, Jesse. The fact is that porn is made by men who have learned the kinds of thing you teach: How to relate well sexually to women. These men then seek to make money off the poor suckers who do not care to learn. The fact is that porn is the enemy of the authentic man, and all of your reasoning here is backed up by science. Thank you for making this bold statement!
“The fact is that porn is made by men who have learned the kinds of thing you teach: How to relate well sexually to women.”
Is this a joke? Men who act in and direct porn are abusive and exploitative and no NOTHING about relating to women sexually. PORN IS NOT ABOUT WOMEN’S SEXUALITY NOR DOES IT DEPICT REAL SITUATIONS OR REAL SEX.
Just thought I would point that out.
The biggest reason to not watch porn is that it contributes to misogyny, sexual abuse and male entitlement.
Are you fucking kidding me?!!! The women are completely control in Porn! How many female pornstars are there compared to men! They own this industry and have complete control over us… Their weaker minded counterparts! They don’t think with their pussies! They are superior sexually…. Stop this feel sorry Shit for women in porn…. They are doing exactly how and what they are comfortable with!
Interesting video. The chocolate cake analogy reminds me of “The Experience Machine” by Robert Nozick, which I think makes a good point with regards to the superiority of real women vs porn.
I thought your points against porn were all good except for the evolution stuff. I definitely agree that it takes away our motivation and makes the thought of exerting effort and energy to seduce women seem unappealing. I don’t ever consciously think “Forget going out, I’ll just watch some porn”, but perhaps sub-conciously I do, since sometimes that’s what happens, because going out doesn’t seem to be worth the effort.
With regards to the evolution stuff, Dawkin’s “Selfish Gene” makes it clear that the goal of our individual genes is to reproduce themselves. However, the goal of our genes is not necessarily, nor should it be, the goal of ourselves. In fact, our gene’s just use us – the organism – as vehicles to reproduce themselves. Our gene’s interests and our own interests diverge. Reproduction may be the “goal” of our genes but it is not the goal of ourselves. Our genes might benefit from us raping a woman, but we don’t, and healthy people have no desire you do so. What benefits our genes does not always benefit us.
You make a good point that porn is taking advantage of the evolved make up of our brain. But the point that porn will lead you to reproduce less is not a strong argument – our goal is not necessarily to reproduce. If that was the goal, you would be making videos about why we shouldn’t use condoms.
I don’t really care whether my gene’s get passed down. I just want to be happy – and meeting women and feeling socially confident is a means to that.
Great first few points though!
Your personal goal doesn’t have to be to reproduce, but you’ll get weeded out. In a 1,000 years, everyone who is hedonistic only living for personal pleasure will be weeded out of the gene pool. This isn’t my moral judgment, it’s just facts of evolutionary selection. Watching porn is a maladpative trait that puts quick pleasure before sex.
Condoms are not the same, because if you’re using condoms a lot, it means you have sexual choice and can have children at any time. Watching porn means LACK of choice typically.
Hey Jesse,
I’m a bit overweight and I’ve just hit the gym. I know a girl and she’s really pretty and I’ve trying to take her on date but whenever I ask her on date, she’s busy (usually on Sundays).
so can you give me dating tips and how to score a girl?
Kane, hit me up on the forum
http://www.seductionscience.com/lounge/
Very true. I feel like I caught up in that trap. Dr. Oz said pretty much the same thing
Very good, but I watch porn and it seems to make me more hungry for women, but I would say that it puts ur standereds too high, and you tend to go for gals women that are out of your own league, but ur right you do have to keep changing porn sites to get
It does set your standards high, but the problem is you may only find 1 or 2 girls to your taste in a club or bar… and then you freeze up when you see them and nothing happens in the night. It’s much better to be SOCIAL with everyone, and then once you have a lot of momentum, pick the girl you want. That’s the way to get results.
litterally, this is correct i used to watch porn nightly for a long time, i had to ween myslef off of it but when i did the amount of girls in my life skyrocketed, it was almost weird haha
Hey Jesse you wake me up with the so damn good video. The message is so clear and so true! It’s kills motivation to go after girls. Gonna stop with the shit porno! I’m gonna start NOW!! Thank you Jesse.. your da man!! Stil doing the good work!
Bless!
This hits home hard. This opened my eyes in a big way. Now I know what killed my motivation. Great video this is a life changer.
Excelente Video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I enjoy women’s bodies and erotic art. I also know the traps
that you accurately detail. I think an informe and mature Man
will know his strengths and weaknesses and conduct himself
in his life accordingly. I enjoy erotic art and I have a great sex
life…thanks for the debate Jesse
Loved the article! Loved the way you used metaphors! Keep it up.
But I think this sentence should not belong where we are talking about the good guys (who avoid porn) – “They are going to have no more fit offspring to propagate their genes into future generations.”.. Was that a typo?
Thanks for catching that Jake, I’ll get it corrected 😀
what about masturbation ?
Jerking off is necessary if you need to sit down and focus to do work, but you are very sexually agitated and need to release pent-up energy. And typically when you jerk off, you think about REAL girls you’ve met. So it’s much better than porn watching, it doesn’t drain your motivation nearly as much. With porn, you can go waaay too long with it and it becomes a substitute for real girls. If you’re just jerking off, it won’t feel like a satisfactory substitute and you’ll remain driven to take action.
Jesse, you did a great job with this video, I watched the whole way through. You’re spot on about watching adult films… it kills my motivation in subtle ways! 😥
Thanks !
I don’t want any filthy offsprings running around with my genes. It’s a pain to care bout other people. I’d rather be free for the rest of my life than chained by a wretched woman
IT’S REALLY A GOOD JOB! IT MAKES MANY PERSONS TO CHANGE 😆
THEIR LIVES 😐
😆 great job this helped alot
Im a porn addict and cant stop I need help
stay focus on other things the reality is better then a fantasy hobbies if your married stay focus on your relationship small steps. You will not be at your best every second your mind has already been washed to believe in porn stay stronge and hold on to who u are
Get professional help!
what about my pocket pussy? is it ok for me to fuck that 20 or 30 times a day?
thanks men for your advise