I want to share with you a cool, little trick for actually taking the right course of action in life, and I call this the adventure identity.
Now, most guys don’t really have a problem necessarily with theory. It’s always easy to read a bunch of theory on the Internet pretty much for free, and actually, a lot of guys get so much theory, it builds up. They don’t really know what to do with it. They’re not going out and practicing.
The biggest problem guys have is actually not being motivated to go out and take the correct course of action or you know approaching that hot girl. When they see the hot girl, they just kind of freeze up. They don’t take action or they just find it easier to stay at home than going out to meet a girl.
The Temptation of Easy Comfort
So, taking on the adventure identity can be a big help in the shift of thinking. So, basically for example let’s say you have the option of – Let’s say in the morning, you wake up. It’s early afternoon, and you’re thinking, “Okay, Saturday night, I’m excited. I’m stoked to go out and meet girls. But as the day goes by, you get tired. Maybe a bunch of bullshit happens. You get stressed out, and then 8 o’clock, 8:00 PM rolls around. You’re thinking, “Okay. I should start thinking about where I’m going to go or what I’m going to do, but I’m f**king tired. Just be a lot easier to stay at home and play, say, video games, or watch television, or just surf the Internet.
Now, let’s say you’re going to play games. There’s some advantages to that, to be honest. For example, you’re going to get nice stimulation. You’re going to get some nice emotions. There’s no risk involved. You don’t have to output any energy. You can just sit your ass down on a chair for a couple of hours. You can kind of zone out. You know, you’re not putting yourself out on the line. You know exactly how the night is going to turn out, even if you f**king suck. You’re having an off night and turns to playing a game. You know, always play again later. There’s no consequences to losing or having a bad night. There’s a lot of advantages theoretically to that, at least in the short term.
Whereas, if you go out, that could be theoretically stressful, if you have like a specific goal in mind like, “I wanna get laid. I wanna find a girlfriend, and I’m living in Scare City.” You know, that can be a stressful outcome, pressure that you’re putting on yourself. It might cost you money in terms of gas or transportation. It’s going to take up time. You could be doing something else, you’re just zoning out. It’s going to take physical energy. You don’t know exactly how each girl is going to respond to you. So, there’s this element of chaos. If you’re going out to a club, and there’s loud, blaring music, and you’re not used to all the stimulation, it can feel stressful. It’s kind of you feel like a deer in the headlights.
Short term comfort vs. long term growth
So, in the very short term could be disadvantages to going out, but if you look at the long term, if you’ll just always taking the route of comfort, and that warm, comfortable blanket, sitting at home, and going the easy route, you’re not going to accomplish anything in life.
You’re not going to grow.
You’re not going to push yourself.
You’re not going to end up with hot girls.
Whereas if you push yourself on that adventure, even thought it takes more energy, it takes more output, you don’t know how it’s going to turn out, you know over the long term, you’re going to have a much more fulfilling life. You’re going to have a more interesting life of adventure. You’re going to have more beautiful women in your life.
So, the way to resolve this dilemma is if you’re at home, it’s getting later, you’re feeling f**king tired, or you just – There’s some excuse you have like, “I don’t know if I should go out. I don’t really feel like it.”
*Adventure* should be your criteria for making decisions
The only criteria that you should have for taking action is adventure. Adventure becomes your criteria for taking action. So, “Should I stay at home and play video games? Or should I go out tonight, even though I don’t feel like it?” Adventure! What does adventure demand? You go out on the adventure and meet girls and see what happens. “I feel like staying home because I didn’t take a shower, and I smell, and I have been working out, and my hair is f**ked up. So, maybe I should stay at home. Maybe I should go out.”
Adventure, adventure, adventure! What does adventure call for? That you go out. You are a man of adventure.
That’s your new identity, and when there’s any decision when you’re kind of weighing pros and cons, really the main driving force of your criteria for taking action is adventure, and that will lead you on the correct path when you use that as your main criteria for making decisions.
So, you got a lot of pros and cons, and all these rationalizations, but if you just kind of focus on the adventure, you’re going to come up with the right answer.
Approach the girl? Adventure!
Let’s say that you are at a bookstore. You’re just reading through the books.
You know, you’re kind of out of state. Maybe you’re burnt out. You’re just reading books to kind of relax, and you see a hot girl over there. She is reading some magazine, and it’s like the perfect opportunity to go up and talk to her, but you’re feeling out of state, maybe you got like f**king coffee stain on your shirt. Your hair is f**ked up. You’re not feeling so great.
It will be so much easier just to keep reading that book, right?
There’s some benefits to just taking the comfortable easy route and just keep reading, doing your own thing and not go up and talk to her like immediate comfort and just conserving time and energy, for example, not putting your personality out on the line.
So, you’re going to be like, “Uh, uh…I’ll just talk to her later. I’ll read the book.” Right? That’s seeking comfort.
Whereas if you make your main criteria for taking action as adventure, it’s like, “I got a stain on my shirt.” Adventure, adventure!
“My hair is f**ked up.” Adventure, adventure! What does the adventure demand?
“I’m tired. I just want to read the book.” Adventure, adventure! What does the adventure demand? So, go up and talk to the girl.
If you’re a man of adventure, even if you got certain things going against you because very rarely are you going to have like a perfect opportunity where you’re perfectly in state. You look perfectly great. She’s in the perfect right moment. I mean it usually is never like a 100 percent perfect or even 50 percent perfect. So, for taking action, for taking action consistently, you want to make adventure your main criteria for approaching girls.
“Oh, she’s with a guy.” Adventure! Just go and say hi to her or meet both of them, you know.
So, that’s a great identity take on whether should I go out, should I stay at home. Adventure!
“There’s a girl there. Should I just keep doing what I’m doing or should I go talk to her?” Adventure!
It simplifies life’s decisions.
Making bigger life decisions – Adventure!
You can even use this adventure criteria for the bigger decisions in your life.
For example, let’s say you’re going to school and you’re thinking about dropping out of school to become an entrepreneur and start a web business and travel the world or should you stay in school? Okay. Both answers could be equally good or both answers, both options could be equally bad.
For example, if you decide I’m going to drop out of school.
I’m going to start my business, and you go start your business, but it was really more of an excuse just to be f**king lazy and you don’t want to execute. You want to sit on the sofa and you’re taking the path of comfort instead of adventure and pushing yourself and working like a mad dog to get your business off the ground, then dropping out of school is really a f**king dumb idea.
But if you drop out of school to start your business and it’s all about, you know taking the adventure, pushing yourself, really pouring your passion into that business, it could be a good decision whereas school could be a bad decision.
If school is all about your comfort blanket and staying in your comfort zone and just doing what you feel you’re comfortable with, and just doing the minimum and being lazy to get by, school could be a waste of time, a waste of your youth, a waste best years.
School could be an adventure like you use school as an opportunity for the adventure like, “I’m going to approach girls. I’m going to use the principle of adventure, the identity of adventure. So, I see a hot girl. I’m going to go up to her because that’s the adventure. I’m going to take classes that push me. I might read cool books at the school library after school and do extracurricular activities and network with people and always push myself every day. Sleep as little as possible. Get as much done. Make every moment, you know using adventure as my criteria for micro-decisions through school, adventure I mean school could be a great opportunity, a great learning experience.
You can get a lot out of school whereas – So, it really depends.
Any option you take if you are using pushing yourself, pushing your comfort zone, “I am the adventure. My main criteria for taking action is the adventure, either option could be a great route to go down, and either option can be terrible if it’s all about just conserving time and energy and being lazy and staying in your comfort zone.
Caveat: Don’t do stupid shit
Now, of course, there is one caveat. Let’s say you’re f**king drunk, you’ve been drinking too much, and you’re like, “Should I call a cab or should I drive?” I mean driving seems like an adventure when you’re drunk.
You know, you got to use some common sense here. You don’t want to you know jump off a cliff without a bungee cord attached to your feet because you think that’s going to be the adventure. So, there’s a little common sense involved there.
What happens when you don’t take the path of adventure
And now, I just want to touch for a moment on the consequences of not taking the path of adventure, not basing your decisions, your micro-actions on adventure, adventure, adventure.
Well, then you’re only going to take action when you feel like you’re in your ideal state or when the stars align.
For example, you see a girl over there. And you’re only going to take action when she’s pretty enough, and she’s alone, and she’s in the right spot, and you happen to be feeling like you’re in a great state and you know you’re just dressed well, and you know it’s like the perfect moment to go up talk to her
You’re going to get a lot less done. You’re going to have less opportunity, so it’s going to be very inconsistent.
You might approach girls, but it would be very inconsistent.
You might go out to meet girls instead of playing games, but it’s very inconsistent.
You’re not staying on the correct path very often, or some guys just get f**king lazy. They want to stay in this comfort zone of relaxation and being chill and conserving time and energy, and they don’t approach girls. They don’t go out because there’s a lot of temptations, you know eating junk food, staying at home and getting very simple, free entertainment from the television or the Internet or video games that give you this kind of superficial positive emotions.
So if you are not in this mindset of adventure, adventure, adventure, it’s so easy to just kind of slip into this lifestyle of not taking action and of sloth and superficialism.
So, what happens is a couple of years of doing that, you just practice kind of being lazy, you practice taking the easy path, and you kind of get stuck in this rut of just you know kind of going with the flow, not pushing yourself, not pushing your comfort zone.
A year passes, and three years pass, and five years pass. Pretty soon, you’re wasting your youth away, and you’re becoming a middle-aged man, and you really don’t accomplish much in life, and you actually see that with a lot of middle-aged guys who are not – They’re just f**king lame.
Most guys by the time they hit 40 are f**king lame. They are not trying out new things. They’re more interested in, you know, they haven’t had much sexual success. They’re more interested in just chilling out and conserving time and energy and not trying out new things. They’re not really role models.
You see, most 40-year-old men, maybe they’re a little bit overweight, they’re out of shape, they’re not learning new things, and you’re like, “I don’t want to be like that guy when I hit 40.” But it’s like 99 percent of men, because they have not taken the path of adventure, so I highly encourage you to make this kind of like your new identity, the man of adventure.
Using that your criteria for taking action throughout your life, both on the smallest scales like, “Should I approach this girl? Should I stay home and go out?” and on larger decision-making skills like, “Should I stay in school? Should I start a business?” That kind of thing.
21 thoughts on “THE Secret To Meeting Every Hot Girl… Even When You Feel Nervous, Unsure, or Unworthy!”
Yeah, THIS is an excellent post. Truly. So many of your posts are RIGHT ON, but this one, more than most. It’s EXACTLY how I feel when I’m at a bar or grocery store and I see a lady and I feel like hanging back and just staying in my comfort zone. Yes, how much better to see meeting women as an adventure – WITHOUT a stated outcome – and just see what happens. I’ve gotten good enough at looking at a women, being pleasant, interacting, touching, etc. Something very good could come of that. As opposed to NOTHING when hanging back and fantasizing about it later.
Along with your excellent posts on getting away from porn, maybe you could dove-tail it into a post about fantasies and masturbation, which have kept me useless for years.
Dude you look average as fuck and you give off an average as fuck vibe, you try to make it out like your some mega alpha male who is too good for most women, your delusional
The post on ‘adventure’ being the major and only criterion for your decisions was exactly what I needed to read. I’ve spent the past 2 & 1/2 years, after a major job loss, using that as an excuse and just remaining in my comfort zone. But your post has given me a new perspective on things and I’m not going to waste any more time on ‘playing it safe,’ and I hope it inspires others to do the same. Life is incredibly short and opportunities often only come around once, so go for it and live life to the fullest!
It really is a numbers game. If you go out five+ hrs/day, you will get laid.
But… what about using the Internet itself as a tool to get laid?
Some dating sites cost too much $$$ but I have had some luck with Craigslist. It bypasses a lot of the wasting-time-hanging-out-time & cuts straight to Booty.
What did you do with your hair 3 years ago you had less hair
This is a great. No information overload, no memory loss… Adventure really sums it up.
Great video Jesse!
Fear: false evidence appearing real
Jesse charger for president!!!
what ??? !
I’d like to sign up for that free course!
Think your advise …takes it to the hoop Jesse Charger=keep em comen
hi Jesse yes I raise my glass to you thank you for all the free tips & advice .
So where’s the promised link ???
there’s a link at the end of the video–
Best advice: DON’T TAKE TIME (to get it?) MAKE TIME!!!!!!!! Or, just go out and DO IT.
Let me know what you think… 🙂