Question for Jesse: “Hey, Jesse, why is it that women have it so easy compared to guys and get to be the chooser? Why do men have to do a hell a lot more work than women in dating?”
It’s from Tommy. Good question.
Do women really have it easier than men in dating?
Now look at it from a woman’s point of view. Let’s take a woman in a nightclub. Let’s say she’s a hot girl with the full makeup on, the beautiful blonde hair, and the high heels, and the tight little dress, and the great legs, and nice little boobs.
Okay, is she really the chooser?
In one sense she IS the chooser because any guy that comes up to her, she can say yes or no to, or find out more about him. She can passively stand there and she will meet some guys.
Women’s hands are tied
But here’s the problem. Let’s say that there’s a guy over on the other side of the club, this handsome dude that her friends say, “Okay, this guy is the real deal. He’s romantic. He’s looking for a girl to wife up, that he wants to bring to Paris. He’s true and faithful. He’s exciting and he’s dangerous and he’s successful. He’s like the whole package.”
Can she really just go up and meet that guy? No! The answer is no because if she goes up and meets that guy, first of all the friends that she’s with, female and male, are going to slut shame her. “No, no, no. That was bad, bad, bad. What kind of girl are you?” They’re going to slut shame her.
Second, it’s not really socially acceptable for women to take action like that. It’s not really in women’s genetic programming to take action like that. They want to see the man take action, and women are even more nervous about cold approaching people than men are. Whatever nervousness you feel, women feel it even stronger.
Yeah, she can meet guys that come up to her but she’s limited. She can’t take control of her own destiny into her hands and take action with that. She can’t take massive action. It’s kind of like she’s got these chains on her wrist that constrain her.
Whereas look, as a man, if you’re in a nightclub, you can go up to all 100 girls in that nightclub and meet them, or you can pick up your top 20 favorites and meet them all.
If you’re in a mall, you can take action and meet all those girls in the mall, too.
You’re not going to be slut shamed for doing that. People are going to hold you up on a pedestal and think that you’re a god. They’re going to look up to you. That’s going to be admirable and that’s great because you can more better design your lifestyle. You can take control of your destiny more, so it’s kind of like a tradeoff. Even though you can’t passively stand there as a man and expect to get some success, you can reap even more success if you’re a massive action taker.
The pyramid – who is really on top!
You want to look at it as being this pyramid where the biggest part of the pyramid on the bottom is going to be all the passive men because if you’re a passive guy and you’re a passive girl that are not going to take action and you’re just going to stand there.
Of course, it’s going to be better to be the girl because you’re going to have a little bit more options than the guy. But if you’re going to be the massive action taker, you’re getting more options.
So, the bottom of the pyramid is all those men that are completely passive; then a little bit above that are all the girls that are average-looking girls. They can stand. They’re going to meet a couple of guys.
Above them are the really pretty girls in the prime of their sexuality. They’re going to have even more options because even though they’re passive, they’re going to meet even more guys.
But at the very top of that pyramid are going to be the action-taking men who are going to have the most control over life. They’re going to be top of the pyramid because just through sheer numbers, they can meet a lot of women. They’re going to have more control over the quality of women that they want to meet over where the women that they want to meet are going to be, whether it’s at the tennis court, for example, or nightclub, or bookstore.
They just have more options because they can be proactive. They can go anywhere. They can land in a new city or new town and have a new girlfriend in a weekend. Personally, I think that’s the best deal of all. You really shouldn’t be jealous of women.
Men burn like candles – women explode like fireworks
Another issue that a hot girl has is that she has a very short lifespan. Girls usually reach their peak at age 16, 17, 18, 19, and because they reach their peak so young in terms of their femininity, they don’t have much world experience.
They’re not too smart about it, so they’re eating junk food. They’re not exercising. Maybe their smoking, maybe their drinking, or maybe they’re just watching too much TV or spending too much time on the computer, doing social media, on their phones.
They’re frittering away their youth. They’re frittering away the peak of their power because they don’t know any better because they’re so young. Then by age 24, 25, they’ve already gone down the hill.
Of course, I’ve met 50-year-old women who are fitness fanatics and had bodies of 20-year-olds, but that’s very, very rare.
Ninety percent of girls hit 24, they hit the wall; 25 they hit the wall because they don’t care take care of themselves. They don’t know any better because they hit their peak so young.
Now as a man, your peak is from age 16, 26 to 36 is you’re coming into your prime as you long as you are taking action, as long as you are taking massive action and reaching for success. You can be going on into your 40s. You can be going on into your mid 50s if you’re hitting the gym and taking care of your body.
A man has a much longer shelf life.
A man is kind of like a slow-burning candle that burns brighter and brighter gradually as the years go by whereas a woman is like a firecracker. Boom! But then she’s out. It burns brightly, burns intensely brightly, lights up the night sky, but just as quick as it started, it’s over.
If you’re going to give me the two deals, I would rather be that long-burning candle that can plan, maybe you’re dumb at 16 or 17, or 18, you make mistakes. Well you can correct course in your mid 20s or even in your mid 30s. You can correct course in your mid 40s and come back from being dumb, and stupid, and young and design your dream lifestyle. You have a lot more time to work with whereas the woman’s peak years are when she’s least experienced.
Mature men aren’t butt-hurt babies
The other thing is like just being butthurt about girls have it so easy and I wish I could just passively sit here, stand here, and do nothing and have it as easy as the hot girl.
I mean that’s childish thinking. It’s kind of like, “Why do I have to eat my vegetables? I just want to eat ice cream for lunch and dinner and I’m butthurt about that.”
I mean that’s childish thinking. That’s not manly thinking. That’s not coming from your masculine energy of wanting to compete, wanting to conquer, wanting to crush it.
That’s being a little kid and living in a fantasy world.
Reality is not like that. Reality is that as a man with a cock, society doesn’t need you.
I mean if you designed a special bomb that just killed off all the men and left the women untouched and you dropped this bomb on your hometown or your home city, all the men were wiped out and there was just one man left standing with a thousand women. He could fuck every single one of those thousand girls, get them all pregnant, and repopulate the population within one generation.
Whereas if you had the opposite bomb that just killed off all the women but left all the men standing and you had 1,000 dudes and one girl left, well she can only carry one child at a time. So all those men are going to be fighting, going to war over each other over this very scarce. Because she can only carry one child at a time, it’s going to take 10 generations to repopulate that society.
A society that’s mostly all women is a much healthier population than a society that’s mostly all men. So the world has way more dicks than it really needs, so nobody cares if you get killed. Nobody cares if you’re going to sit in front of the television and be passive and not take any action.
Advertisers love that. Companies love that because it’s more time where your eyeballs are watching ads and buying things and actually getting on with your life, being successful, and meeting girls.
So will you be at the bottom… or the top?
Again, no one is going to care if you’re at the bottom of the pyramid. There’s only so much space at the very top for the extreme action takers. You can’t have thousands of guys flooding the nightclub or the mall cold approaching girls. It just wouldn’t work. Society would fall apart.
There’s only so much space at the top.
What’s good about being a guy is that most guys won’t’ take action. There’s very few spaces at the top but there’s no men stepping up to take them. If you want to take control of your destiny, if you want to be at the top of that pyramid and have it even better than a hot girl, more options than a hot girl by taking control, by working on yourself, by hitting the gym, by cold approaching girls, it’s there for you.
It’s there for the taking, and you can do it. It’s very doable if you put in the time and the effort.